ThisWasNeverMyStory
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 09-26-11, id: 3288636, Profile Updated: 06-17-13

Favorite Things to do: Listening to music, Playing video games, Writing songs and poetry, Drawing, Hanging out with friends and family, Singing, and Reading.

Other Faves: Music: Pop, Hip hop, R&B, Christian,etc...

Movies: Anything action/humor, such as Marvel/DC.

Shows: Anything funny,

Current Obessions:

Tom Hardy - Amazing actor, you may know him from Inception (Eames) or The Dark Knight Rises (Bane). Check out his other stuff if you get the chance. Very real and down-to-Earth, and insanely handsome as well.

Deadpool - Just adore the character in general, love the comics, and can't wait for the game (which will hopefully do good and push the movie forward), and obviously, I am still hopeful for the movie. And yes, I want Ryan Reynolds to play my favorite Merc with a Mouth.

Ed Sheeran - You may have heard his song, The A-Team, that has been on the radio and that he also performed on the Grammy's, and his newest single - Lego House, also on the radio. Knew about him back in 2010, and heard some of his music since then, but I only recently started listening to his songs (about a year ago) and I am hooked. Have almost all of his songs on my phone, save for the few I don't care too much for. Favorite songs are a tie between Give Me Love, Small Bump, and You Need Me, I Don't Need You. But know all of his songs are very well-written, lyric-wise as well as the music (both of which he writes himself). Also a very real, down-to-Earth kind of guy. He is just adorable!

Don't leave me alone with my own thoughts... they scare me...

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door and apologizes.


Just Wanna Thank My Mom For Everything She Taught Me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. (my favorite) My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.


Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, write this to your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, then add this to your bio.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you think you can be pretty without being self-centered, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you still like TMNT and are in double digits, paste this in your profile.

If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty then copy this into your profile!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile

If you wish that people would just grow up and stop being racist, copy and paste this.

If you want to be the type of girl that makes the devil go "oh crap, she's up!" when your feet hit the floor in the morning, copy and paste this.

If you've ever pushed off a school project till the week before it was due and still got a good grade on it, copy and paste this

If you've ever laughed at your friend when they've done something stupid, copy and paste this.

If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this.

If your pretty different from others copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a room to get something, and then forgot what you went in there to get, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate labels/stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED: I told Santa that I had been good this year. He died laughing.

If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

If you are a girl, paste this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.


REMEMBER WHEN ..

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?when )m 0 m ( was your hero and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?when - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free?remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now.


FOR MY BEST FRIEND, HADLEY COPELAND! LUV YA!

"Best friends through thick and thin! If you cry, I cry, If you laugh, I laugh, If you fight, I got your back, If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall, If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"

FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRAMPS

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail at 2 A.M

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN we really messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad ... Here’s a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what everyone else is doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick that whole crowd's asses because they left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say ,"I'M HOME what we having for diner?"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Ask you why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Would say "He wasn't good for you"

BEST FRIENDS: Would walk up to the person who broke your heart and yell at the top of their lungs "IT'S BECAUSE YOUR GAY ISN'T IT!!"

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste”

FRIENDS: Will ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,

the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,

but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.


'Live as if Jesus won't come for another 100 years… Act as if He will come today.'

'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'

'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'

'Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'

'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'

'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'

'Only two things are infinite: GOD and human stupidity.'

'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.'

'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'

'Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.'

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.'

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

'If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh.'

'Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?'

'What is this 'kindness' you speak of?'

'It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'

'Define normal.'

'These sunglasses sure make it hard to see in the dark but I refuse to take them off because I am an American!'

'I will call him George, hug him and love him and rub his fur the wrong way.'

'He who walks with wolves, learns to howl.'

'Of all the things I've ever wished that I know could never be, the thing I wish the most is that I wish I wasn't me.'

Yeah, I'm crazy, it runs in the family, what's your excuse?

I am the type of person who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened... yesterday.

A good friend will be there to calm you down when you are mad, but a best friend will be holding a shovel asking "Do you think the hole is deep enough?"

No matter what life hands us, just remember... "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass - it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm alive because I'm a fighter. I am wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness.

A friend will calm you down when your angry, but a best friend will skip beside you with a baseball bat singing "someones gonna get it."

Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly.

I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.

I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?!

Every person in your life will serve a different purpose at a different time. Some entertain you, some enlighten you, and some piss you off daily.

Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clocks broken and I'm wide awake. Not sure who won.

I have life moments where I want to pause and yell "SERIOUSLY?!"

Is it just me, or are the people who claim they hate drama actually the most dramatic people I know?

The next person who says "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" will learn that it's not my fist, but the impact.

My mission is accomplished. I ran down the street, threw skittles at people, said "TASTE THE FRIKKEN RAINBOW!" so it was a good day.

Fact of life...After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F !!

The people that make the difference are those that do things differently - Be one of them!

I think some people should come with warning labels.

A friend would help you up when you trip and fall. A best friend would laugh, trip you again, then laugh some more!(:

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege.

I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity, I think you crossed the line a few miles back.

Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?

I'd explain it to you, but your brains would explode.

I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

"The Founding Fathers, in their wisdom decided that children were an unnatural strain on parents. So they provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education." (Updike, John)

Congratulations, you fail at life.

Sticks and stones might break my bones...but a 50 foot fall will kill ya'll!

Every piece of paper has two sides...unless you use magic marker. Then you're screwed.

I'm not late. I'm just early for tomorrow.

I hear voices and they don't like you.

Smile: it confuses the enemy.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

Kinda hard not to be a smartass when you're talking to dumbasses all the time.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

You look familiar. Have I threatened you before?

Huh. Sanity. What would I do with something as useless as that? Lucky for me I never had any such thing.

Those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied history are doomed to know its repeating.

No one leaves this world a virgin cause fate screws you over.

I'm only afraid of knives when you're holding them.

I'm too tired to tell the truth.

I'm up, I'm dressed, what more do you want?

Instant Human: just add coffee.

I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.

Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up.

I have ADD, Attention Def-OMG! It's a butterfly!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Of course violence isn't the answer. 'Violence' is the question and 'yes' is the answer.

Tell me your sob story... I need a good laugh.

That which doesn't kill you... Will probably try again.

Sorry, no assholes allowed.

Sometimes it's not a good idea to question your friend, just help them dump the body in the river and walk away.

I SWEAR TO DRUNK I AM NOT GOD!

You say "Weird" like it's a bad thing.

I'm so hot, I make fire Stop, Drop and Roll.

Pardon me, but you've mistaken me for someone who actually gives a damn.

I'm sorry, they had to remove part of my soul to make room for more sarcasm.

What drugs are you on? and can I have some?


-Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is loser cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

If you’re a CHRISTIAN, a firm believer in JESUS CHRIST, the SON of GOD, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile.

If you don't want to cry then don't read this. I wasn't going to post it, but I am seriously anti abortion. I couldn't help crying when I read this.

You have 2 choices

1. Post this message onto your profile

2. Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Month One

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs

I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

Today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I cannot survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry. It sounds so sad.

It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I am not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns! please make him stop! I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me, Mommy?

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you cried post this on your profile.


The white man said "Coloured people aren't allowed in here."
The black man turned around and looked at the white man. Then he said... "Listen sir...When i'm born i'm BLACK," "When i grew up i was BLACK," "When i'm sick i'm BLACK," "When i go in the sun i'm BLACK," "When i'm cold i'm BLACK," "And when i die i'll be BLACK," "But you sir...When you were born you were PINK," "When you grew up you were WHITE," "When you're sick you're GREEN," "When you're in the sun you go RED," "When you're cold you're BLUE," "And when you doe you'll be PURPLE," "And you have the nerve to call me coloured?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...


'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?''Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up. 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think


1) I don't have ADHD i just...do you like waffles?

2) I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

3) It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

4) The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

5) I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

6) MY friends are cooler than giraffes. And giraffes, they're cool.

7) A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"

8) You know what? I just forgot.

9) They never suspect the short one.

10) I'm going CRAZY! You want to come with?

11) When life gives you MELONS you know you're dyslexic.

12) I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait. Me

13) Qu'est-ce que 'sup?

14) iTune you out.

15) If Tylenol, duct tape, or a band-aid can't help, you've got a serious problem.

16) People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

17) I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

18) Haha. Wait, what?

19) You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

20) DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

21) AHHHHHHHHHH! Oh, it's just the toaster. Again.

22) Team Jacob! Because REAL men don't sparkle. That's a little fruity...

23) Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!

24) Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

25) Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

26) "To be is to do" - Socrates "To do is to be" - Sartre "Do be do be do." - Sinatra

27) Friends are like potatoes, if you eat them, they die.

28) When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and sit back while the world wonders how you did it.

29) Of all the people I know, you're one of them.

30) Do you think it's because we're awesome? I think it's because we're awesome.

31) Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

32) Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.

33) I’m not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

34) Shun the non-believers!!

35) Tu madre. You just got burnt in Spanish.

36) Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

37) Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

38) So my friend texted me asking what idk meant so I said i don't know. She texted back saying OMG NO ONE KNOWS!!

39) "Sorry that was my last piece of gum": biggest lie in America.

40) I’m not as random as you think I salad.

41) Dyslexics UNTIE!!

42) It's okay Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

43) Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowly is sounds like green beans?

44) Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

45) Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

46) God made men first then...He had a better idea!

47) Without ME you're just AWESO

48) If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

49) Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

50) I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

51) BFF! -- p.s. I mean forever. You're never getting rid of me ;-)

52) Smile - it makes people wonder what you're up to. :-)

53) On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

54) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

55) I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

56) I see no good reason to act my age.

57) Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

58) Everything happens for a reason...except for clowns. I mean seriously, what the heck?

59) Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

60) Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.

61) At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

62) Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

63) Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

64) (On a sign at a chinese restaurant...) No! We no see cat of yours. No more ask please.

65) Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

66) If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

67) I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

68) Who's "she" and why does she keep saying dirty things


AWESOME DEADPOOL QUOTES!!!

Deadpool:My common sense is tingling

Deadpool: then I have clearance.. to say hell yeah!

Deadpool: And now, I'M better at doing whatever it is Wolverine does!

Deadpool: The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation. Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer the title 'cleaner of the gene pool'. And I've made a lot of good friends along the way: like Arcade. He's always sending me to his amusement park.
Arcade: HELLO, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?
Deadpool: Yup. I've got my sunscreen on and I've taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the rides!
Arcade: Oh, I don't think you understand. You're going to die here.
Deadpool: I know! Carnivals always slay me.
Arcade: No. You are going to physically die... as in stop breathing. You will cease to exist.
Deadpool: Riiiiiight... So do you have bumper cars here?
Arcade: Arrrgh!

Deadpool: Black Widow, I've gotta know... Are those real?
Black Widow: I beg your pardon?
Deadpool: Ahh... Your teeth. They're just so darn shiny and straight.

Deadpool: I can't believe it... I'm alive. I'm alive! [the Hulk lands on top of him and leaps away] (weakly) Ow...

Deadpool: Wolverine, you look so sad. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Lady Deathstrike tried to kill you when you were asleep.
Wolverine: Better than having to listen to you.
Deadpool: Man, does she hate you. I mean, we all hate you, but Deathstrike really, Really, REALLY hates you! [takes out his gun] Hey, still have that unbreakable skull? [Points gun at Wolverine's head and fires. Screen turns black] Oh... damn it!

Deadpool: Hey! Wait for me! [Deadpool jumps on a rampaging Hulk] Who wants snacks? YOU do! [Deadpool forces a grenade down the Hulk's gullet and then jumps off, landing alongside Wolverine, and the two run down a straight hallway with the Hulk in pursuit] Logan, I think we lost him! [the grenade inside the Hulk explodes... ] And they all lived happily ever after, except the Hulk!
Wolverine: Bub... you just made him angrier!
Hulk: Talking man hurt Hulk... HULK RIP OFF TALKING MAN'S HEAD!
Deadpool: My head? Oh, crap...!
Wolverine: He's all yours, Einstein! [grabs Deadpool and throws him towards the Hulk]
Deadpool: Logan? We're friends! NO! NOOO!

Deadpool: [falling on Wolverine] BANZAI! [Wolverine slices Deadpool's arm off] (screams like a girl) OW! Oh - dude, that is just NOT cool! [looks at the stump on his body, and his arm some metres away] Wow! Look at that! Can you give me a hand? [giggles] Just kidding! All right... I'll go get it. [runs to fix his arm back on] (fixing his arm while Wolverine fights Sabretooth) Okay, here we go... no, that's not right. What the hell? Oh God, no it's upside down...

Deadpool: Welcome to Loserville. Population: You.

Deadpool: Everyone protect me!

Deadpool: Wow, this is really, really freaky! I could swear I know you from somewhere. Did we go to law school together?
Deadpool: I know what you mean. I've seen you before, I just can't place your face. Weren't you in my oragami class last fall?
Deadpool: Wait! I know where I've seen your face. In my mirror... every morning!"
Deadpool: Heavens to murgatroide! That's it! You're me!
Deadpool: No no no no no no no, I beg to differ. You... are me!
Deadpool: Come on. let's not quibble over such a huge philosophical conundrum here. What do you say when you meet yourself?
Deadpool: How about 'you're lookin goooood!'
Deadpool: Works for me. Well, now I have to kill ya. Not that I want to, it's just a little something Mister Sinister ordered me to do.
Deadpool: Are you ok?
Deadpool: Me? I'm fine. I just have an uncontrollable urge to rip you into tiny shreds and spit on all of your graves.
Deadpool: I'm really good at killing. You might say it's my specialty. That and ballroom dancing. But guess which one I can actually make a living at.

Deadpool: Somebody test this guy for steriods!

Deadpool: [Upon defeating an enemy, pensievely] But did either of us truly win?

Deadpool: EVERYBODY! Shield me with your bodies!

Deadpool: [after defeating an enemy] Now gimme all your lunch money!

Deadpool: Fusion's so cool, they should've put it in the game title.

Deadpool: I'm killing indiscriminately, and it's okay.

Deadpool: It had nothing to do with politics, I just don't like you!

Deadpool: Look, it's the Fusion game mechanic.

Deadpool: I refuse to say some clever quip because *you* set down the controller.

Deadpool: I'm not just the Merc with a Mouth, I'm the sensation with a registration.

Wade Wilson: Great. Stuck in an elevator with five guys on a high-protein diet.
William Stryker: Oh, Wade.
Wade Wilson: Dreams really do come true.
William Stryker: Just shut it! You're up next.
Wade Wilson: Thank you, sir. You look really nice today. It's the green. It brings out the seriousness in your eyes.
Logan: Oh, my God. Do you ever shut up, pal?
Wade Wilson: No. Not when I'm awake.

Wade Wilson: All I ever wanted was to travel off in exotic places and meet new exciting people... and then kill them... so I became a mercenary. My name is Wade Wilson... And I love what I do.

Wade Wilson: I love this weapon more than any other thing in the whole wide world, and you wanna know why?
Victor Creed: No.
Wade Wilson: If I learnt anything about life, it's this: always play the hand you're dealt. My name is Gambit... and I play for keeps.
Victor Creed: That's funny Wade, but I've think you've mistaken me with someone who gives a shit.
Wade Wilson: Granted, it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun, or bone-claws or the fingernails of a bag-lady... Manicure?

Wade Wilson Time to go to work. [Kills everyone with his Katanas] Okay. People are dead.
William Stryker: If you didn't have that mouth of yours, Wade, you'd be the perfect solider. [Wade gives a sarcastic salute to Stryker]

Deadpool: Magneto! Welcome to die!

Deadpool: And that is how you beat Wolverine, people. [he grabs the camera and starts shaking it] (yelling) And ya don't even need Optic Blast!

Deadpool: I just beat Mag-freakin-neto! Where yo curleh mustache at?

Deadpool: Check me out. I'm the ghost of Christmas KICK YO ASS!

Deadpool: [Deadpool grabs the camera and talks to the player] Hey! Yeah, you! I'm down here bustin' my ass while you sit on yours watching me jump around? How is that fair?

Deadpool: Shoryuken!

Deadpool: [Deadpool is watching his crush from her window] [Monolouging] y'know, camping outside someone's window just to watch them sleep used to be considered romantic --but today it's called "stalking" and generally considered trespasse --[whispering] though the term "stalking" has a certain Byronic flavour to it--
Blind Al: Really Wade, mercenary to peeping tom in one night.

Deadpool: [thinking] should've known better than to discuss romance with Al. you wanna talk babes, you have to find a bud that's lamer than yourself. speaking of which... [Shouts] Weasel!

Deadpool: [discovering Weasels empty room] What in God's name? [Shouts] WEASEL CLEANED HIS ROOM!

Deadpool: [just found Weasels being kept in a place in Nevada] Good thing he's such a paranoid puppy or I never would have tracked him down. [whispers] I wonder if this has anything to do with the way I treat him... Nah. Probably something his momma did.

Taskmaster: Ah! Leaping Dragon Kick... Executed in the style of Master Shingen Dakota-- Deadly, but easily defensible.
Deadpool: Yeah! So's mad cow disease...

Deadpool: Are you ready for a dissertion on pain, chump! Open your text-books to chapter one-- "BOWEL EVISCERATION AND YOU!"
Taskmaster: I don't believe you're qualified to teach that course.
Deadpool: Fine! Let's skip you up to "Lead Swallowing" one-oh... Uh Oh! Where's my gun --? [looks at Taskmaster pointing gun at him] Bad Gun! No pointing at your master! Bad Bad gun! [cocks gun] give it back or I'll tell.

Taskmaster: [After beating up Deadpool for "lesson"] onto our next ordinance--swordplay.
Deadpool: Oh, Goody. Now I can be humiliated with props.

Deadpool: Zippty do dah, zippty-ay, I’m gonna blow all you dirtbags away. Plenty of bullets I’m gonna spray, Zippty do dah, zippty-ay

Deadpool:Sorry, I use humor to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I’m hilarious, so don’t hate.

Deadpool: Who dares summon the master of glib, the deliverer of one-liners and the shogun of sarcasm?

Deadpool: Are you talking to yourself or do you see little yellow boxes too?

Deadpool: He invented rubber? Well I owe grandpa one, thats for sure.

Deadpool: S’matter Buddy? You look a little – what’s the word I’m looking for here – Stupid.


U preps are gonna laugh ur butts off.

Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

Isnt it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone

Are you laughing?

Isnt it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

Isnt it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing

Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

Isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS

Keep on laughing

Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life

without knowing her situation with her friends

or her family

or her LIFE

BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH

OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND

BRAVE IS

GOING TO SCHOOL AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES

ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET

ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE

ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS

keep on laughing if you agree


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you, you buttmuncher."

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

No offense to those actually diagnosed as mentally retarded, just a little something my friends and I said a few years ago about our brothers...

Stomp your hands
Clap your feet
Retardation can't be beat
(while holding up the peace sign) #1
(holding up 1 finger) Peace to the
World is (making a square with your 2 index fingers) round.


"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allen Poe

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

Question those who don't question Authority.

I can see your point of view, but I still think you're full of shit.

I won't mention any names but some of us are slowing down the evolutionary process.

Well, did the fuck up fairy visit us again?

Oh, I heard you. I just don't care.

If it wasn't for pot, I'd be a serial killer.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

"Noah noticed the Ark was starting to sink- he really hated wood peckers."

Bad things to hear at a wedding- "I apologise for the state of my clothes, and the smell of sick- but I spent last night in a skip. Dearly Beloved..."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."

"MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?"

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do, kill me?"

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster."

"I’m not paranoid… WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Whose sick joke was it for the fear of long words to be called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?"

"You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."

You're just jealous cuz the voices talk to me and not you

Just smile and wave

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Warning: survivors will be shot again

Always forgive your enemies... Nothing annoys them so much.

If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years.

If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

I want revenge. Is that so wrong?

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.

Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and yell, "Storms suck!"

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Mirror's can't talk, Luckly for you they can't laugh either - Blood elf Humor

How can I miss you if you don't go away?


If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of american teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point being?" or "You just realized this now?"" Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." copy this to your profile

If you have no grip on reality whatsoever, copy this to your profile. The nerd brigade thanks you.


7 Ways to Scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Small Children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Stuff to do on an elevator that WILL help your image, as in, your CRAZY image

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at every floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button.

10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.

23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congradulate all for being in the same lift as you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!"

26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.

35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."

38. Say your Majesty when anybody gets on.

39. Introduce yourself as Lord Voldemort.

40. Ask people which floor they want and why, and then announce that you're going to the floor with Olympus on it because you didn't steal any lightening.

41. Hang Ethan Hunt style from the ceiling of the elevator and speak ominously when someone enters "Heloooooooo"

42. Still hanging from the ceiling, drop onto whoever comes in.

43. Try to make up and sing lyrics for the boring elevator music.

44. Try to start a My-Briefcase-is-better-than-yours contest.

45. Hold a ring and say, "My precious"

If you HATE Hannah Mon-upisstay-tanna, post this

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 packets of gum and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking..

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, start dancing to the music coming from the sound systems that are on sale.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"


You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

Now we know why some animals eat their own children.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be an apocalypse!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice

. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

I bet you get bullied a lot. I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you. I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your *.

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

She's the first in her family born without tail.

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?

You are not even beneath my contempt.

You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

You grow on people, but so does cancer.

You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one. You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.


BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun. (1/2)
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values or morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. (Used to be - was too expensive)
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. (1/8)
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSS-DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FAN-GIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. (1/4)
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I go to REN. FAIRS, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT a CHRISTIAN so I MUST be converted.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED


If you are actually crazy enough to read right to the bottom of the page to get to this point and are reading this right now, then copy and paste this into your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Reserved by Softly Spoken Words reviews
Inuyasha, a celebrity of simple tastes who hardly cares about anything enough to do more than go with the flow, knows he can count on his manager Kagome for reliability, predictability, and a job well done…and then he finds out he doesn't know her as well as he'd like to claim he does.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,300 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 4/5/2014 - Inuyasha, Kagome H.
A Few Turtles Short of a Bale by So Said the Dragon reviews
Playing hero finally pays off. When Michelangelo saves the life of a woman who doesn't run screaming, he's introduced to a life on the fringe, and it couldn't be more perfect.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,949 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/13/2014 - Published: 7/20/2013 - Michelangelo
The Mistaken Wish by flamingpoetica reviews
Vegeta awakens from his death at Frieza's hand, resurrected by the dragon balls. With nowhere to go, he awaits Goku's return at Capsule Corp. Although only alive by accident, someone comes to value him. Three year get-together. Vegeta's perspective. True to canon. Rather dark. This story contains mature language and content.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 46 - Words: 94,363 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 5/6/2014 - Published: 5/20/2013 - Bulma, Vegeta
The Traitor's Daughter by FutureErotic reviews
BANE/OFC "This girl is wrong". That is what people always said about Clara Westborough, she accepted it as her due.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 33,617 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 12/22/2013 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Bane
A Place in Paradise Doesn't Come Cheap by So Said the Dragon reviews
The Merc With a Mouth inadvertently embarks on his most dangerous and confusing job yet. Are things really as simple as they seem? Is it true love, or will he just end up with a broken heart? Will those little boxes ever go away? And most importantly, who gets to keep the car? It won't be easy, but Deadpool is certain that this time, he'll come out on top.
Deadpool - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,722 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 7/31/2013 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Deadpool/Wade W.
Pinky Promise by PhantomHeiress reviews
Tony Stark had a best friend when he was younger, who he promised he would never leave. But when he became famous, those commitments got buried in the dust with his 5-year-old self. Now, his childhood promises are emerging again. And they're coming to flame him. Very mild AU. Tony/OC
Ironman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 36,809 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 459 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 5/9/2012 - A. E. Stark/Tony
The Obscurity of Chaos by Purple Puffer Fish reviews
She was tasked with two simple actions: deliver food to the cell of a mass murderer, and under no circumstances speak to him. But she is about to be brutally reminded that rules mean nothing to him, and his confinement is about to be brought to an abrupt end. Bane lives; post TDKR. Gradual and dark B/OC. Made the cover photo - don't own the image.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,144 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 6/18/2013 - Published: 7/28/2012 - Bane
Verity by Creatoriginsane reviews
"You know kid, I think you're my ticket outta this place." DmC 5 : Devil May Cry. / The asylum has more for Dante than what was shown. OCs
Devil May Cry - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Dante
Time by The Wriiter reviews
He offered his life for my survival. I never thought I would see him again. He is a man, changed into a monster. Everything changes in time. Bane/OC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,611 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 7/28/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Bane, Bruce W./Batman
A Poem For Tommy by Shadaux reviews
A little composition of mine. Written on the 26th of January. If you want to read, be my guest.
Warrior, 2011 - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 454 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Complete
Colorado Sunrise by Bucky Babe reviews
Deadpool and a female assassin work together to find out why they were set up to fight each other, and along the way they uncover a dark plan that concerns the fate of the world and perhaps a mutual attraction. Deadpool/OC.
Marvel - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,909 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/23/2011 - Published: 11/28/2010
Love The Way You Lie by Bucky Babe reviews
"H-hey! You're hurting me!" She didn't know what he was thinking but she didn't like this. Struggling to get free of his too tight grip she did the only thing she could think of. She punched him. Deadpool/OC.
Marvel - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,300 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Complete