piratemonkey06
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Joined 09-27-11, id: 3292354, Profile Updated: 02-14-12

Hi, I'm piratemonkey06 *doffs hat* - pleased to meet you! Arr.

I'm 20, Australian, currently studying at uni: I enjoy reading, writing, playing cricket, and playing practical jokes on my friends (don't worry, they don't take it lying down).

I'm into movies like Pirates of the Caribbean (duh), Sherlock Holmes, National Treasure etc. - actually any movie with an awesome score, because that's what mostly constitutes my tastes in music. (Also, I advise you to Youtube terms like 'Steven Smith Nelson', 'VSQ', 'DJs from Mars' for more examples of said music taste - what? you've never heard of them?)

Books: I could read till my eyes give out! My favourites are The Dark is Rising series (Susan Cooper), Jenny Nimmo’s earlier books (Snow Spider, etc.), stuff by C. S. Lewis, Matthew Reilly…the list stretches ever onwards.

TV-series wise, I like NCIS, Whose Line Is It Anyway, Sherlock (BBC), Big Bang Theory, etc.

Oh, and by the way… I am a rabid, die-hard, insane Mentalist fan.

(Simon Baker is hot stuff. Ahem.)

The following is for fellow Mentalist crazies:

I ship Jane and Lisbon, but mostly just as BFF’s because I want Jane to myself (Yes, I know that isn’t possible, and no, I will not change my statement.). And I value their sharp witty banter too much to have it drown in a sea of romantic mush and OTT sex.

I do not, repeat, DO NOT ship Van Pelt and Rigsby, especially after extremely recent developments (4.12).

Cho…I’m still looking for a potential match for him, but Summer looks promising.

Right now, I’m just reading and reviewing other people’s stories, but I have just started writing a decidedly AU Mentalist fic: who knows, it may show up on here if I feel up to it!

Toodle-pip for now :)

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Mental Songs by Mentalgal reviews
Liked Mental Christmas Carols? Well, as it's not christmas, I have decided to start up Mental Songs. I have already mentalised several songs and will be posting them, but if you have any suggestions, please put them in your reviews!
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 4,934 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 10/11/2011
Four Little Bottles by Edhla reviews
The police are certain that Adelaide Bartlett poisoned her husband with four little bottles of chloroform. The challenge for Sherlock is to prove how it was done. When he is rushed to hospital in a serious condition, John's responsibilities are sorely stretched between his best friend and his young family.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 19 - Words: 50,008 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 6/1/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., Mycroft H., Molly Hooper - Complete
The Somerton Man by Edhla reviews
An unidentified corpse. An untraceable poison. An indecipherable code... and the arrival of the littlest Watson. *Series 3 AU*
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Crime/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 49,303 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/25/2013 - Published: 3/26/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade, Molly Hooper - Complete
Guardian Angel by ShunKickShunKers reviews
Hightower sends Patrick Jane, the most annoying GA ever, to keep an eye on Teresa Lisbon, a troubled young woman with a bright future. still AU, but give it a try, you never know. COMPLETE
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 77,820 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Jane Something by et voila 1312 reviews
Another day, another case at the CBI, more paperwork for Lisbon. Only now she has someone to help her, so things should get easier! But when Patrick Jane is involved, nothing ever goes smoothly... K for some lang. !NOW COMPLETE!
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,378 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Take The Fall by OutCold reviews
""Is it over?" he choked out, a thread of blood trickling from his mouth." Jane never thought past killing RJ, but while he fights for his life in the ICU, Lisbon quickly realises it isn't over at all, and has to decide how far she'll go for him. EDIT: I had other plans for this story, but I'm not going to continue it. It ends neatly, I promise. It ends in an ending-place.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,658 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Chasing the Storm by Iloveplotbunnies reviews
AU Pirate. "Watch what you say," Lisbon growled. "Or I'll slit your throat and leave your body for the rats."
Mentalist - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 110,692 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Patrick J. - Complete
Long Lost Long Last by hardly loquacious reviews
After a case involving obscure hobbies, Jane decides to bring back the long lost art of letter-writing. In spite of his best efforts, he only manages to secure a single correspondant.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 103,998 - Reviews: 543 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 5/13/2012 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Teresa L., Patrick J.
Patrick Jane, meet Lillie Sinclair by et voila 1312 reviews
A gruesome discovery at a marina leads to strange dreams, and soon Lisbon's behavior slowly starts to change, causing Jane to become concerned. Is it just the macabre nature of the case, or is something else more unbelievable happening? Written for the 100th Anniversary.
Mentalist - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,501 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L.
There's No Place like Home by Iloveplotbunnies reviews
Falling couches, hungry scarecrows, and changing outfits was not how the movie went…but it works for Patrick Jane.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,127 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 3/7/2012 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Mentalist Episode Tag: War of the Roses, 4x15 by Donnamour1969 reviews
Jane and Lisbon really needed one more conversation about Erica. This is a more positive, optimistic tag than others out there. Give it a try; maybe you'll find some comfort for any disappointment. Spoilers, 4x15. No copyright infringement intended.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,286 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/17/2012 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Someone Else's Life by Wldwmn reviews
Jane wakes up from a coma with vivid memories of events that never happened. For one thing, he believes he and Lisbon are married. Jisbon. Rated T for language/adult situations/violence. NOW COMPLETE.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 73,227 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 8/15/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Who Says You Can't Go Home by Riley Bernard reviews
Lisbon's team travels to small town Iowa in connection with a body found in a San Francisco state park. Grace's home town holds a lot of secrets about her past. Some she'd rather remain hidden.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,737 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/13/2011 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Grace vP., Wayne R. - Complete
House of Cards by Kourion reviews
Jane takes the doll almost reverently - his fingers tapping along the wood toggle buttons of Rupert Bear's coat. Carefully. Entranced. "I saw him, and I thought of you. Must be the outdated, through spiffy outfit. Circa 1890, am I right?"/ Jisbon-centric/ COMPLETE
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 27,893 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/8/2011 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
The Red and the Grey by bloodwrites reviews
Winner, 2012 Paint it Red Best Het Romance! Spoilers up to season 3 finale; directly follows events of 3x24. A new nemesis appears on the scene to avenge Red John, targeting Lisbon to get to Jane. Creepy dollhouses, life on the lam, and sexy Jisbon times abound.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 110,869 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 7/16/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Watershed by forthecoast reviews
Another woman murdered, an all-too-familiar MO. The only problem is Red John is already dead. And they realize that it's only just begun. Jane/Lisbon.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Crime/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,971 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/11/2011 - Published: 5/4/2010 - Patrick J., Teresa L.
The Phoenix by castiello reviews
Jane goes down in flames.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,522 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/5/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
The Sound of Silence by Hollow Nightmare reviews
When Jane doesn't fare too well in the aftermath of Red John's death, Lisbon must decide whether or not to help him. Jane/Lisbon
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,820 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 9/29/2011 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
The Bitter Taste of Revenge by criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak reviews
Patrick Jane knows all about the Revenge Business. Dangerous, unhealthy. When a killer decides to enact his own twisted game of bloody revenge against Jane things get messy. But Jane and the team soon learn there is more to this than meets the eye.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Crime - Chapters: 19 - Words: 55,586 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/26/2011 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
Let Me Go by lisbonandjanealways reviews
"I'm never going to let you go." Jane/Lisbon friendship. ONESHOT. No copyright infringement intended.
Mentalist - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/16/2011 - Teresa L., Patrick J. - Complete
Red Brick Road by castiello reviews
When an interview goes horribly wrong, Jane is left injured and fleeing for his life alongside a traumatized young witness. A Season 2 adventure, set between "His Red Right Hand" and "A Price Above Rubies."
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 41,012 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 8/9/2011 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete
No More Illusions by LittleMender reviews
Follow-up to "Nothing Up My Sleeve". She had said she didn't need a knight-in-shining-armor, and she was right. She carried her own. He hoped she would find someone else with whom she could lay it aside. He hadn't expected the regret to be so palpable.
Mentalist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,350 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Patrick J., Teresa L. - Complete