Author has written 8 stories for Twilight, Criminal Minds, Downton Abbey, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Hunger Games.
All stories are on hiatus for the foreseeable future. Sorry :(
Hi this is HOC97
Here are some things I found Funny and/or cool:
A girl plays Football in P.E. because she had nothing better to do.
she kicks the ball and her shoe goes flying. when she gets her shoe she finds that her sole is missing:
Girl:I lost my sole
Boy:Haha your going to hell
Girl: ya see you there
This is a game that I play with my friend and her cousins:
try and make the other people playing say "what"
when they say "what" reply "Nothing!"
and thats a point to you.
Btw this game goes on for ever!!!!!!
My top 10 Favourite books:
4.The Hunger Games
7.Girls In Tears
8.Bed And Breakfast Star
My Top 10 Favourite Movies:
2.Breaking Dawn(Part1and part2)
5.Pirates Of The Caribbean At Worlds End
6.Whitnail and I
7.Harry Potter And the Deathly Halows Part2
8.Pride and Prejudice
9.Paris Je T'Aime
10.A Cinderella Story
"There are two types of stupid-the lovable Forest Gump stupid and the "almost everyone in our school" stupid-xLIVExEVILxSTEALxCOOKIESx
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.
Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.
Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your head off.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned about being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactively Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IWuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlY JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, KylaMizuki, Spirit Evolution, Darkangelsdevil, HanakoAnimeaddict, Lifeless Romance,CelestialAng,xLIVExEVILxSTEALxCOOKIESx,HOC97.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!
If you go to school with a bunch of idiots, copy and paste this into your profile
See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide.
See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.
See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.
See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor.
Re-Post this if you are against bullying.
I bet 95% of you won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as their's is.
If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. *Please know, I'm not trying to get people to convert, I'm just expressing my beliefs.*
Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather-rely on Alice for future predictions
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OH MY EDWARD!! (OME, actually, OH MY EMMETT :D)
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: Say shut up or i'll get James to kill you
NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that vampires are all like Dracula
TWILIGHT FANS: Know ALOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires
NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell, HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: When being chased yell, JACOB, SAVE ME!!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing thunderball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON
NORMAL PEOPLE: Yell, the sun! It burns!
TWILIGHT FANS: Yell, the sun! It makes me sparkle!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on their profile!
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake I am all alone
The house is dark
My parents aren't home.
When mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With the bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But it's now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And finally he stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah.
I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Put this in your profile if you think child abuse is wrong!
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights (Not cat fights anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave 'em in the middle)
SHORT STORY ABOUT RACISM
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
At End-of-the-year-battle against Voldemort, I will not go up to Harry and say "May the Force be with you"
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a field?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
1st day of school: I'm so excited!
1 week later: When are the holidays?
Hey, did you do the homework?" "WAIT, WE HAD HOMEWORK?!"
FEELS like 20 minutes have gone by in class. It's ONLY been 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there's a fire at school, who's actually gonna stay quiet and walk? (we ALL agree on this...)
"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" No, that's why I'm whispering... (Duh)
copy and paste this if your one of these students!!
Things to think about!
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?
why dosen't anyone in Ireland have proper rain gear?
(copy and paste this on your profile if you got a thought outta' this)
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
Post this on your profile to make someone smile!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
1. You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
2. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
3. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
4. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
5. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
6. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
7. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
8. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
9. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
10. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
11. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.
12.Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
13. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (He he he... oops)
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
42 things to do in an elevator!!
1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air.
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39/
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.
Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has SURVIVED, died, or is LIVING WITH cancer! it's died for me. :( I miss you!!
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
I travel the road less traveled on. Now, WHERE THE HECK AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MCR is my drug
Youtube is my dealer
School are the cops
copy this if you are obsessed with My Chemical Romance!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't
forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for
the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that
mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister
is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart