Xenophobic Doll
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Joined 01-25-03, id: 332735
Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, Forever Knight, Transformers/Beast Wars, and Transformers.
Hmm.. usually when I type in some form of a profile, I like to have a 'form' to fill out, but there isn't one here, soooooo Imma make one up:

Name: I can't tell you that because the witness protection people would be really pissed.

Location: I'm right oooovvveerrr... THERE!

Occupation: Uh, I is goin to skool, to uh, get me somma dat edumacation.

Hobbies: Let's see... legal hobbies, legal hobbies..Oops! I'm fresh out of those.

Quotes: Religion and Love have spawned more evil than all of the worlds dictators and sadists combined. ~Me (Ain't I profound?)

Favorite Color: Green, but I like to write in pink for some reason.

DOB: It was so NOT yesterday.

I Loathe: Whiners, Skanky People, People that cannot drive, People that cannot drive and do so anyway, Cruelty to Animals, Coca-Cola, Spam, Whiners, Pseudo-Intellectuals, Jebus Freaks (aka Religious Zealots), People that don't seem to know you are supposed to wear a shirt under bib-overalls, Chewing Tobacco, Dip, People that are perverted but try to act like they are not, People that think they are better than everyone else, People that ARE better than everyone else, Boy Bands, Allergies, and did I remember to mention Whiners?

I Like: Pepsi, Cute Birdies, Bats, Pigs, a Good Insult, People that can Drive, People that are smart and act like it, People that think for themselves, Evolution, Reading, Writing, Cartoons, Raisin Bran, People that don't type as fast as I do in a chat room, People that read my stories and like them, Pepsi, Orchids, Midgets, Animals, Tylenol Sinus, Finding something on sale, Free Stuff, Presents, and last but not least.. Pepsi.

Will This Profile Ever End: It ends now.

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Fracture Mechanics by unknown ghost author reviews
How mechs and factions break apart, and the choices that drive both to their furthest limits. Realities for everyone are redefined and nothing is as it seems.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 187,787 - Reviews: 406 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 6/4/2011 - Published: 5/20/2010 - Jazz, Soundwave - Complete
Knock on Wood by Lament of Meow reviews
The Allspark lies within Sam, regaining its power and watching through his eyes. When it sees the chance to help with Ratchet's request to see sparklings again, it manages to blow the whole situation up spectacularly. BeeSam RatchTwins ProwlJazz BlueJack
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 38,609 - Reviews: 332 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 554 - Updated: 2/23/2011 - Published: 1/30/2008
Break by antepathy reviews
After "Dead End." Two Autobots interrogated by Barricade, who abides, strangely enough, by US Army Field Manual tactics. What does it take to break the Autobots? What else will break?
Transformers - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 23,898 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 9/2/2009 - Barricade, Starscream - Complete
Experiences by Ithilas reviews
MovieVerse The Decepticons found the Witwicky family when Sam was only eight. What kind of life do you live when you've been raised by an Autobot named Bumblebee?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,706 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 11/5/2007 - Sam Witwicky, Bumblebee
How It Is by NightElfCrawler reviews
2007 movieverse - War affects even the most innocent. Changes are inevitable. For Sam, adjusting to life after becoming introduced to the Autobots and Decepticons was nearly as hard as facing the changes in his own life...and the consequences with it
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 49 - Words: 206,715 - Reviews: 701 - Favs: 528 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Sam Witwicky - Complete
It's Only Fun Until by VodkandCoke reviews
BeeSam, BarricadeSam, PAST!HideWill. 10 years after the war for the Allspark things have settled down. Or have they? With the arrival of three new sparklings things are getting a little hectic and Sam's relationship with Bee and Barricade is heating up!
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 34,788 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/19/2008 - Published: 10/20/2007
Not Gone Yet by Tiberias reviews
BeexSam fanfiction Sam waited seven long years for to see Bee again and now that he has him back everything is changed his Bee is changed stained by Decepticons and looking for a forgiveness that Sam seems not be able to give him.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,205 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/3/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Complete
For The Love Of Bee by The Laughing Platypus reviews
Bumblebee gives Sam a very special birthday present. Warning:SLASH
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,541 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 10/6/2007 - Published: 9/11/2007
Snapshots by Dierdre reviews
A set of fifty sentences inspired by fifty words. 2007 movieverse, Sam and Bumblebee centric
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/26/2007 - Complete
Combustion by Atlantia reviews
MOVIEVERSE SamxBee. With Megatron defeated and the decepticons MIA, life begins to settle down for Sam. Except that his relationship with Mikaela isn't working, and maybe that's because things with Bumblebee are going a little too well. SLASH. Sequel up.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,807 - Reviews: 471 - Favs: 381 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 8/9/2007 - Published: 7/9/2007 - Complete
Detention Never Was So Good by Neda1 reviews
Harry is serving a detention for Snape, but what happens when he makes a slip and tells Snape how he feels? And How will Snape react? Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,925 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 14 - Published: 10/18/2002 - Severus S., Harry P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Will Come Back reviews
G1:AU. In the early stages of the war, Prowl mentors an orphaned sparkling, Barricade, and it forever changes his life, but not in the way he expected. SLASH. Prowl/Jazz, eventual Prowl/adult Barricade.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,180 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 9/1/2010 - Barricade, Prowl
A Trip to the Skate Park reviews
Movieverse: Sam just wanted to lose a little skin at the new skate park, but he ends up losing a lot more...to Barricade. Sam struggles to keep his secret from Bee, only Bee has his own secrets. SLASH! Note the Rating! Sam/Barricade eventual Sam/Bee
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,081 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Sam Witwicky, Bumblebee
Collateral Damage reviews
Bumblebee falls for the human woman he accidently runs over while being chased by Barricade. Some Humor. Includes vampires. Lucien LaCroix amongst others. MmMMMm.. Vampires and giant robots. Rated for language and smut.
Crossover - Forever Knight & Transformers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,981 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Bumblebee
Death Do Us Part reviews
A terrible accident gives Mikaela a chance and a week to save those she loves, and maybe even the courage to let Optimus Prime know how she really feels about him. Optimus/Mikaela.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,321 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 23 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Mikaela B., Optimus Prime
Retro reviews
Soundwave decides he needs a cooler alt-form. Now with 10% more exploding heads! Oneshot, very short.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 441 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Soundwave - Complete
DriveThru reviews
Oneshot, very short. Sam teaches Bee that placing an order at a fast food joint is actually rocket science.
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 481 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Bumblebee, Sam W. - Complete
Ow, My Foot: The Saga Continues reviews
Movieverse: Jazz gets shot in the... well.. you know. Bumblebee and Chase turn each other into scrap, and LIKE it. Sam/Bee's POV. Another appearance by borrowed OC Malena Banes. Total crack/smut. Rated for the smut, and my foul mouth. Hope ya enjoy.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,954 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/10/2008 - Published: 7/30/2008
Avian DeathMatch reviews
Ironhide is attacked while minding his own business... and not by Decepticons Crackfic, no smut. The sequel to 'The Birds and the Bee'.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,609 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Complete
The Birds and the Bee reviews
The wild birds in Sam's neighborhood make the Decepticons look like kittens. Happy, fluffy humor. Very slightly implied BeeXSam slash. Rated for language.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,231 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Complete
Snape's Blind Date reviews
How is it that Snape goes out on a date and ends up with his toe in a dog's arse? Could it be..... Potter! Cracked Fic. Rated for my foul mouth.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/13/2003 - Severus S. - Complete
Blind as a Post reviews
Severus Snape turns himself into a bedpost to spy on Professor McGonagal and screams Eww! 2nd Chapter up. Snape turns into Malfoys cloak and sees something.... disturbing
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,379 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/7/2003 - Published: 2/2/2003 - Severus S., Draco M. - Complete
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