Poll: Which book would you rather find in your room one day? Vote Now!
Author has written 15 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter, Bleach, Rise of the Guardians, Soul Eater, Death Note, and Avengers.
(Formerly known as BlackPaperMoon82462) Woo! New pen name! I've been meaning to change it for a while.
OOHH WHO’S THAT SEXY BEAST?! Oh. I clicked on my own profile again…
Warning: I'm really antisocial (not to mention forgetful), so if I'm PMing you and then suddenly stop replying, I'm probably just putting it off and then forgetting it. Send me another message and I'll usually get off my lazy arse and reply.
Important Stuff That I Seriously Doubt You Care About:
Name: Call me whatever you want. Patronus is probably easiest.
Real Name: Hahaha you're funny.
Gender: Female. Unless, of course, I'm some old perv or an FBI agent. Which I personally doubt, but whatever floats your medium-sized yacht.
Age: As previously stated, I don't think I'm some old dude or FBI agent, so I think you can narrow it down a bit. I, like most people on this site, I am a teenaged girl.
Appearance: I don't see the point of this, but whatever. Brunette. Eyes switch between grey, green, and blue. I'm pretty much always smiling, and I make the weirdest expressions completely by accident. I've never seen them though, so I'll have to trust people on that. *shrugs*
Personality: I'm a two-faced, compulsive-lying, apathetic, narcissistic, selfish, fickle, slightly-sadistic, manipulative, aloof, sarcastic, jaded, antisocial, misanthropic, people-pleasing, introverted, spacy, philosophical, lazy, irritated, reality-hating, tricky, unfocused, witty, contradictive person with sociopathic tendencies and dreams of becoming the president of the U.S. or possibly a scientist or possibly a serial killer.
For all of you Harry Potter fans, I basically act like a mix between the Weasley twins and Luna Lovegood with a healthy dose of Slytherin and maybe Colin Creevy's obsessive fanboy-ness (or fangirlness, in my case) if you consider that a personality trait.
Location: You see that closed door near you? I'm behind it.
Sexuality: I'm asexual (meaning I don't like people in that way and I'm not interested in having sex. If you want to know more and don't want to PM me about it, feel free to google AVEN and read the FAQs there). I don't really see why my sexuality is relevant here, but if an asexual who doesn't know about asexuality yet stumbles across this, my job is done.
Faith: Atheist, but I was raised Christian and some habits die hard. Speaking of, wanna know the funniest thing ever? Being an Atheist in church camp. No whining. No preaching about how God is impossible. Just listen to the sermon and think of as many pervy/hilarious thoughts as humanly possible. Try your hardest not to giggle.
Favorite Books: (These are only my absolute favorites) Eragon, Harry Potter, Vampire Kisses, anything written by Kelly Armstrong or Melissa Marr (specifically the Darkest Powers books and the Wicked Lovely series) , Eyes Like Stars, Wondrous Strange, Wings: A Fairy Tale, 11,002 Things to be Miserable About, The Girl Who Could Fly, the Chronicles of Vladimir Todd, the Mortal Instruments series, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Death Note: Another Note, Cirque du Freak, and any books that have anything to do with angels, faeries, vampires, werewolves, or magic. So pretty much every book I've ever read. And I've read a lot.
- Note: When I say 'fairy' I mean Tinkerbell and other Disneyfied pixies. If I say 'faery', I mean the faeries in Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr: invisible, immortal creatures that can't touch iron, are separated into Seelie and Unseelie Courts, can't lie, and try really hard to royally screw over as many people as possible. If you try to correct my spelling on this, I will be very, very angry.
Favorite Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter (not as much as the books though), Pitch Perfect, Matilda, the Nightmare Before Christmas, Rise of the Guardians, the Avengers, Iron Man (all three movies), Conqueror of Shamballa, and all of the older Pokémon movies.
Favorite Games: Assassin's Creed, Halo, the older Pokémon games, Okami & Okami Den, Harvest Moon (mostly Harvest Moon: Magical Melody. Don't judge me), and the Legend of Zelda games (Twilight Princess, currently).
Favorite Music: Everything but rap/pop and the occasional song that just plain gets on my nerves.
People/Stuff That Rock: Anime, reading, fanfiction, tumblr, youtube, the internet in general, quotes (you'll see these later), The Art of Saying Stupid Shit With a Serious Face (of which I am a master), a good argument over stupid things, arguments in general, angels (even though I'm not religious), butterflies, the color blue, watching peoples' faces when I tell them I haven't slept in four days (Lies. I love sleeping), discovering new words, discovering new worlds, swivel chairs, sarcasm, responding to stupid questions with sarcasm, irritating people just for the hell of it, drawing stiches on my hand in red pen and waiting until someone asks about them (after which I look at my hand, surprised, and tell them I have no idea how they got there), the word 'adorkable', adorkable things, making a list of things I want to do in my lifetime (many of which are illegal), and wearing hats.
People/Stuff That Should Go Die in Holes: Bitchy people, rude people, most people actually (Huh.), racists, sexists, that douchebaggy clique in school, anime haters, haters in general, awkward situations, when people ask what your hobbies are and 'the internet' isn't an acceptable answer, dentists *shudders* , me blushing like a schoolgirl, viruses, the word 'preps' (don't even get me started on why), people trying to take your picture when they know you hate it, over-protective adults, people who force their religion down your throat, when people don't understand my sarcasm, brushing up against people in hallways, the phrase "you'll understand when you're older" and any like it, not being able to think of the right word, me stuttering, people who talk about me behind my back, when people text so badly that you have no idea what they're saying, and people who make fun of gay people, religions, depressed people, mental disorders, or victims of bullying.
Animes: Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach (until the beginning of the Fullbring arc), Soul Eater, Inuyasha, Shugo Chara, My Boyfriend's a Vampire, Faster Than a Kiss, Chibi Vampire, Hell Girl, Rozen Maiden, Samurai High School, Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's (does that even count?), Hana to Akuma, Wolf's Rain, Blue Exorcist/Au no Exorcist, some Hetalia, Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, Tokyo Mew Mew, Death Note, Code Geass, Rosario Vampire, Baka and Test, Mushishi, Okami-san and her Seven Companions, and probably a ton more that I'm forgetting. If I remember, I'll add them. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.
Current Goal in Life: Before I die, I'm going to make a voice recording of myself and have someone put it in my coffin and set it to go off during the funeral service. So while the priest has everyone praying for me, a recording of my voice will start yelling, "Hey, come on guys, this isn't funny! I fall asleep for five minutes and you go and declare me dead! Let me out!" And then there will be a series of thumping noises like someone is in the coffin trying to get out.
And then they'll open the coffin and find me dead with a note on top of me. The note will be a printed out picture of the trollface meme. xD
Alignment: I'm a Chaotic Neutral. For those of you who don't get it, this is what I'm talking about:
Lawful Good ... Neutral Good ... Chaotic Good
Lawful Neutral ... True Neutral ... Chaotic Neutral
Lawful Evil ... Neutral Evil ... Chaotic Evil
Lawful Good: Doing it right, and then doing the necessary paperwork.
Neutral Good: Occasionally forgetting protocol, but still getting shit done.
Chaotic Good: The ends always justify the explosions.
Lawful Neutral: At least until we get bored.
True Neutral: Just doing it for the LOLs.
Chaotic Neutral: Might save your life, might steal your car.
Lawful Evil: Bringing order to the universe, even if we have to choke the shit out of it.
Neutral Evil: Because there's really nothing better to do.
Chaotic Evil: Eating babies and kicking puppies, and that's on good days.
My Favorite Actually Kinda Serious Quotes:
"There's this kind of silence that only exists in the middle of a crowd. When everyone's talking, but you're not really there. And you wish that everyone would just go away, because somehow being with them is even more lonely than being on your own." ―Tidus, Dreamflow, by Bangles
"Being smart takes patience. Being wise takes pain. Being apathetic takes practice. Being in love takes everything...away." ―Dave Matthes
"Authors are sometimes like tomcats: they distrust all the other toms but they are kind to kittens." ―Malcolm Cowley
"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons." ―Robertson Davies
"A pessimist only sees the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all― he's walking on them." ―Leonard L. Levinson
"There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people." ―Howard Zinn
"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." ―Mark Twain
"The fact that writers will go through so much to remain authors says something, perhaps everything. It would be far easier (and nearly always more profitable) to become a real estate agent." ―Maria Lenhart
"Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do much the same thing." ―Unknown
"If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell." ―Virgil
"Write on my gravestone: 'Infidel, Traitor.', infidel to every church that compromises with wrong, traitor to every government that oppresses the people." ―Wendell Phillips
"Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in." ―Unknown
Ideas/Challenges for fanfics or stories:
I Dare You To Write It-
In all second person ("You were walking in the park when suddenly...")
In a tone you usually dislike writing (angry, regretful, mocking, indifferent, fond, cheerful, etc.)
In all dialogue
With no dialogue (or maybe just one line of dialogue at the very end)
In all future tense ("She will look up and see...")
In a genre that no one would ever expect (a Western genre Harry Potter, a Sci-Fi genre Lord of the Rings, a Horror genre SpongeBob)
With the end as a completely A-hole-ish cliffhanger ("And no one but the moon and stars would ever know what really happened that night.")
See that part up there? Yeah, right above this. That line separates the somewhat-sane part of this profile from the completely chaotic and f*ked up part. Have fun. :)
I'm just going to use my alias, Moon Tsuki.
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Mooizzle (*dying* It's official! I shall now become a gangsta! xD)
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fave color and fave animal)
Blue Fox (Huh. Not that bad.)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name)
Alexis River (I wouldn't happen to be related to Nate River, would I? Dang, if only this was my detective name! Man I hope someone understands this reference...)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
Tsumooyd (This sounds like that TruMoo stuff they give us at school...)
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
Purple Milkshake (Halt! In the name of frozen dairy products! xD)
YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name)
Oulonbn (That sounds like more of a fairy tale name...)
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name)
Lynn. (I can live with that.)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets)
Black Twitchy. (*chokes* I can't even- You have no idea. It's just- AHAHAHA! xD *dying*)
YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow)
mmkoo9o9nm (How does one pronounce 9 in a name?)
If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. (So where did the gay people come from...)
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
(Moon: Maybe this is just me, but loving someone for what's in their pants seems incredibly shallow to me. )
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
Fandom is focus. Fandom is obsession. Fandom is insatiable consumption. Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap. Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime.
Fandom is people you don't tell your mother you're meeting. Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand. Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby.
Fandom is you in Germany and me in the US and him in Australia and her in Japan. Fandom is a sofabed in New York, a roadtrip to Oxnard, a friend behind a face in London. Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds. Fandom is conversation. Communication. Contact.
Fandom is drama. Fandom is melodrama. Fandom is high school. Fandom is Snacky's law and Godwin's law and Murphy's law. Fandom is smarter than you. Fandom is stupider than you. Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again. Fandom is the first time you've ever had them.
Fandom is female. Fandom is male. Fandom lets female play at being male. Fandom bends gender, straight, gay, prude, promiscuous. Fandom is fantasy. Fandom doesn't care about norms or taboos or boundaries. Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries. Fandom is not real life. Fandom is closer than real life. Fandom knows what you're really like in the bedroom. Fandom is how you would never, could never be in the bedroom.
Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above. Fandom is love for characters you didn't create. Fandom is recreating the characters you didn't create. Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention. Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation. Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation. Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting.
Fandom is creating. Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love. Fandom is words, language, authoring. Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank, concrit, feedback, recs. Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve. Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer.
Fandom is signal and response. Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter. Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak.
Fandom is distraction. Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account. Fandom gets no work done. Fandom is too much work. Fandom was/is just a phase. Fandom could never be just a phase. Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit. Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason.
Fandom is where you found yourself hesychasm @ livejournal, in lieu of life.
(Moon: I'm sorry, I just think this is beautiful and everyone on the whole internet should get to read this. That part about a stranger moving you to tears? This is it.
We are Fanfiction.
We are the girls who spend more time writing than talking.
We are the boys who spend more time reading than watching TV.
We are the teens who run to the fictional when their real lives are unbearable.
We are the college kids who should be studying, but aren’t because of the plot bunny that won’t stop running around in our heads.
We are the budding authors who procrastinate their original work to write “just one more oneshot”.
We live in Fanfiction.
We live in our computers.
We live in the minds of our readers.
We live in our letters, our words, our sentences.
We live in the stories, the reviews, the endless profiles.
We live in worlds that aren’t even ours.
We can become Fanfiction.
We can become the one people wait for just to see what we have to say.
We can become a queen, a king, the beloved one of a fandom.
We can become a role model, inspiration, and encouragement for younger writers.
We can become the person who smiles upon reading a review and finding that we have disturbed a room with our reviewer’s laughter, broken a fan’s heart, moved someone to tears, or opened a window that would have otherwise stayed firmly shut and veiled.
We can become the one to save a story, save a writer, even, with just a few taps on the keyboard and a good bit of constructive criticism.
Because aren't we all?
WE ARE FANFICTION.
Epic Quotes/Words to Live By:
There are very few problems which cannot be solved by large amounts of explosives.
You look like your face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.
I'm so gay I can't even think straight.
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Did you know that 'school' and 'vagina' are both six letter words and are dark holes of nothingness that can hold screaming children for nine months?
I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.
This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end.
Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.
Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert!
I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me... Wait.
Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
I've always wanted my last words to be,"Hey, what does this button do?"
Police officer: How high are you? Person: No officer, it's 'Hi, how are you?'
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
The 3 Stages of Insanity:
Insanity is simply getting the joke before anyone says it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the judge.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn.
As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what form of transportation I'm using, I always hate bicyclists.
I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors.
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
I am not a bitch; I am the bitch; and to you, I am Ms. Bitch.
I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe those idiots trusted me with this).
Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time.
This weight on my chest
Cannot ever be lifted.
Oh wait, it's just boobs.
“Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.”
"He thought he was a wit, and he was half right." - Joseph Addison
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
"I can see a world without hate and without war. And I can see us taking over that world, because they'd never expect it."
Mom: *holding our cat and jokingly talking to him* Where were you last night, young man? Were you with any girl cats? Was there any catnip involved? Me: Mother, there is a fine, fine line between joking and crazy cat lady. You are currently playing jump rope with that line. -Me (BlackPaperMoon82462)
"I will follow you to the ends of the Earth. And when we get there, I will push you off." -Banki SilverWolf
"STOP THINKING STUPID!!" -My English teacher
"Can we be antisocial butterflies?" -Sen the Cheshire Cat
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"I will lie, cheat, steal and destroy things for really good books. And I will sell my soul for an internet connection, I miss Google damnit!" - Strange Return by Shivera
"We leave immediately!" "But what about dinner?!" "...We leave in two hours!"
"You remind me of something." "What?" "Monday." "Why?" "Nobody likes you."
Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."
I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.
Sincerely, your teacher."
I'm on tumblr! Just look for my-patronus-is-a-computer and you'll find me!
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