Author has written 14 stories for Hunter X Hunter, Durarara!!/デュラララ!!, One Piece, Bleach, Sankarea/さんかれあ, Psyren, Magi/マギ, Shinobi Life/シノビライフ, and Magico/マギコ.
Hello! Welcome to my profile!
Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, Rave Master, Fairy Tail, Psyren, MARS, Soul Eater, Tsubasa Reservior Chronicles, xxxholic, Prince, Shinobi Life, Air Gear, Skip Beat, Gakuen Alice, Kimi no Todoke, En Passant, Vampire Knight, The World God Only Knows, 666Satan, Barajou no Kiss, Advent of Snow White to Hell, Full Metal Panic, Fullmetal Alchemist, Eyeshield 21, Prince of Tennis, ARISA, AAA, HunterxHunter, Red River, Ayashi no Ceres, Fruits Basket, Black Bird, Kachou wa maid sama, Umineko no nako koro ni, Ruroni Kenshin, Kingdom Hearts, Black Cat, Ouran High School Host Club, ARAGO, Dengeki Daisy, The One, Monochrome Factor...
Best Romantic Plot:
Mahiro and Azuki from Bakuman (SO META)
Maka and Soul (Bookish girl X Bad Boy, how much more classic can you get?)
Kyoko and Ren from Skip Beat (Long, long complicated story. But unusual, and SO worth it.)
Shizuo X Izaya (I just like it when couples yell and throw things at each other. It's hot.)
Kurogane X Fai (Helps that Fai looks like a girl...actually, no, it doesn't.)
Mikoto X Munakata (SO. MUCH. UST. But they shouldn't have put audio in for Mikoto's last words...TT.TT)
Hottest Guys in anime:
Kagetora from Shinobi Life. A skilled ninja, dedicated to his princess, who doesn't allow himself to fall in love. *fangirl swoon*
Kou from Black Bird. Yes he looks like a girl, but his actions are DEFINITELY not. He's sexy anyway.
Kaede from Barajou no Kiss. There are times when I just stare. Excellent translation by the way. Good job, Translators!
Hottest Girls in anime:
Sakura from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. Oh god she's pretty. Every. Single. Freaking. Pose. Clamp, you female witches you...
Seri Awashima from K.
Pick 10 characters from an anime and answer the questions below. You can pick any characters you like, both boys and girls!
3. Red King Mikoto
4. Yata Misaki - Red Clansman
5. Colorless King
6. Blue King Munakata
7. Black Dog Kuro
8. Saruhiko Fushimi - Blue Clansman
9. Seri Awashima - Blue Clanswoman
1 (Shiro) woke you up in the middle of the night?
What? No! Lemme go back to sleep. I'll deal with it later.
Number 2 (Neko) asked you to go out with her?
I thought only dogs needed walks. But okay, sure! You're so cute
Number 3 (Mikoto) walked into the bathroom while you're showering?
Can we...reverse roles? That would be glorious.
4 (Yata Misaki) announced he's going to marry 9 (Seri Awashiima) tomorrow?
NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YATA BELONGS TO SARUHIKO FUSHIMI! And Seri is mine. :P
5 (The Colorless King) cooked you dinner?
Waver for a long time between running away and sitting down to eat, and eventually just eat the food anyway.
6 (Munakata) was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?
Take a picture and then run away fangirl screaming.
7 (Kuro) suddenly confessed to be part of your family?
Nod slowly, very slowly, and then fall over in a dead faint.
8 (Fushimi) got into the hospital somehow?
Oh, you brat. You're so good at getting into places!!!
9 (Seri Awashima) made fun of your friends?
Slap her across the face and then cry in a corner because one of my idols doesn't like me.
10 (Kukuri) ignored you all the time?
Start asking her for food constantly, with a Shiro-smile on my face.
Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 (Shiro) do?
They might start hunting him down instead T.T, so I don't wanna involve him, poor thing.
You're on a vacation with number 2 (Neko) and manage to break your leg. What does 2 (Neko) do?
Cry in sympathy? I mean, her powers aren't very healing. It'll be okay, Neko, I still love you anyways!
It's your birthday. What will 3 (Mikoto) give you?
If we're close, a nozzle on the head. If he loves me, a nozzle on the head. Either way, he's not a 'present' kind of guy.
You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 (Yata Misaki) do?
Put me on his awesome skateboard and GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE! And he'd be laughing like mad, cause he's crazy.
You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 (Colorless King) do?
...He's probably the one that possessed me and is causing me to do it...
You're about to marry number 10 (Kukuri). What's 6's (Munakata) reaction?
Push his glasses up and have a very, very neutral reaction.
You got dumped by someone. How will 7 (Kuro) cheer you up?
Chase the guy down and threaten to execute him? Hm, I'm starting to like him as a brother!
You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 (Fushimi) calm you down?
Call me embarrassing nicknames. Anything to get me to shut up, I guess. He could just buy me a cake.
You compete in some tournament. How does 9 (Seri) support you?
Distract my opponent, if he's male. If its a female, she'll probably be just as effective.
You can't stop laughing. What will 10 (Kukuri) do?
If she's still ignoring me, she'll probably just stare at me awkwardly. If I've converted her into my best buddy, she'll laugh crazily too. And snort.
Number 1 (Shiro) is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?
Because he's so full of knowledge and gentleness and has a seriously pretty parasol.
2 (Neko) tells you about her deeply hidden love for number 9 (Seri). Your reaction?
You're dating number 3 (Mikoto) and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?
YES! SCOREEEEEE!! Of course they won't get along! He'd probably burn down their house or something.
Number 4 (Yata Misaki) loves number 9 (Seri) as well. What does that mean?
Seri, Seri...Why is it always you? TT.TT
Will number 5 (The Colorless King) and 6 (Munakata) ever kiss?
I pray to the dear heavens that I'm there to see that.
6 (Munakata) appears to be a player, he/she breaks many hearts. What do you do?
Somehow get Mikoto to kick his ass in a fight and remind him where his true love is.
You had a haircut and 7 (Kuro) can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?
The back of my shirt is torn. Oh god. My shirt's torn. Help me sew it back, Kuro!
Number 8 (Fushimi) thinks he'll/she'll never get a girlfriend/boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?
It’s okay! You don't need love, you pretty-faced psychopath! Just keep on torturing Yata and you'll get all the satisfaction you need from life.
Number 9 (Seri Awashima) gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?
I could give a really disturbing answer to this or I could just eat the bagel. I'll eat the bagel.
10 (Kukuri) wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does she stay?
For. Ever. She'd be perfect there! She just seems like the perfect store owner/clerk/cashier girl.
1(Shiro) offers you a CD. Considering his/her tastes, do you listen to it?
Ballet music! Yay! Sure, but I bet my sister would like it more.
2 (Neko) suddenly goes emo. How does 8 (Fushimi) feel about this?
He's not alone anymore! Yay...
3 (Mikoto) told 6 (Munakata) she started her period.
:O Oh my god. SCORE!!!! THEY CAN FINALLY MAKE BABIES TOGETHER!!!! (Sorry, they're just...one of my favorite pairings.)
4 (Yata Misaki) slaps 9 (Seri Awashima) with a fish for going out with 7 (Kuro).
Oooh, burned! That's Kuro: 2, Yata: 0
5 (Colorless King) cusses 2 (Neko) out in German. 3 (Mikoto) is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does he do?
Stride magnificently out of the bush and stab the Colorless King through the heart. Then, maybe pet Neko. Because honestly, who can resist?
6 (Munakata) got high.
Shame on him!
7 (Kuro) Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?
Yes, Onii-chan, you're very good at sewing dresses. There is still no way in hell that I'll wear pink. But it looks good on you. You should wear it more.
8 (Fushimi) reads your fanfictions and complains. What is it about?
Impossible love and gushy romantic plots.
9 (Seri) can't stand 1 (Shiro) , so how does she get her revenge when he spills Soda all over her?
Ooh, this could get nasty...I have no idea. But Shiro...basically, run.
10 (Kukuri) starts working at a bar.
She'd look perfect there too.
2 (Neko) comes in and tells you she's pregnant from 1 (Shiro).
Well, that answers something I've wondered about for a long time...
Number 3 (Mikoto) decides to go swimming. Do you go with him?
4 (Yata Misaki) and 7 (Kuro) compete on DDR. Who wins?
Kuro: 3, Yata: 0. But wait, Yata-chan is more the breakdancer type. So Kuro:2, Yata: 1.
5 (The Colorless King) is having a birthday party and he picks a theme. What is it?
...I really don't wanna know.
6 (Munakata) and 1 (Shiro) have a deep conversation. What is it most likely about?
7 (Kuro) stalks 9 (Seri) home. 10 (Kukuri) sees this. What does she do?
Wave cheerily at him and start stalking Seri too. Because everyone wants to know where Seri lives.
8 (Fushimi) buys a computer. What is the first thing he does on it?
Oh. Reprogram it with the highest level internet security and excellent hacking tools and wonderful programs and then do his diabolical computer stuff all day long. Fushimi is a computer guy, no doubt about it.
Have you ever read a 6/10 (Munakata/Kukuri) fic? Do you want to?
No. Just no.
Do you think 4 (Yata Misaki) is hot? How hot?
Yes, he's hot. In a bad boy sort of way. Earphones, skateboard, hat thing, red hair, green eyes...*dreamily trails off*
What would happen if 7 (Kuro) got 8 (Fushimi) pregnant?
I knew this was a BL anime...I knew it.
Can you recall any fics about 9 (Seri) ?
Not really, actually. That's...not right. That's wrong. That's just...I'm in shock. REAL LIFE PEOPLE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
Would 2 (Neko) and 6 (Munakata) make a good couple?
5X9 (Colorless King x Seri) or 5X10 (Colorless King x Kukuri)? Why?
Actually, Kukuri. I mean, he went for her before...but only to possess her...God, this is so screwed up.
Make up a summary for a 3/10 (Mikoto/Kukuri) fic.
He was the Red King hiding a terrible secret. She was a kind angel who fell from the sky, appearing before him during his darkest moments. Can she save him from himself? Or is it her role to be his guardian angel and guide him to heaven? (Wow, that one got away from me really fast)
Is there any such thing as 1X8 (Shiro/Fushimi) fluff?
No, but it will happen eventually. Come on, you know it too.
Suggest a title for a 4X7 (Yata/Kuro) hurt/comfort fic.
Does anyone on your friends list read 3 (Mikoto) yet?
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 2 (Neko)?
Would anyone on your friends list write 2/4/5 (Neko/Yata/Colorless King)?
Could this possibly be any more random and answer-less? No.
If you wrote a Song-fic about 8 (Fushimi), what song would you choose?
One of the songs by evanascence. The one that starts with "I'm going under"
If you wrote a 1/3/6 (Shiro/Mikoto/Munakata) fic, what would the warning be?
M-RATED. Possibility of a major natural disaster and character death. Prepare yourselves.
When was the last time you read a fic about 5 (Colorless King)?
There wasn't one. But I bet I should write one about how he's so lost. I'm good at that.
1 (Shiro) and 7 (Kuro) are in a happy relationship until 9 (Seri) runs off with 4 (Yata). 1 (Shiro), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with 2 (Neko) and a brief unhappy affair with 10 (Kukuri) then follows the wise advice of 5 (Machi) and finds true love with 3 (Mikoto).
This is perfection.
Also, I need to poke a little bit of fun at my sister, who wrote about Hunter X Hunter characters.
If you wrote a Song-fic about Leorio, what song would you choose?
My sister's response: Um…I need a Doctor?
Me: DR. FEEL GOOD!!!!
Stupid Things found on Other Stupid Things:
1. Children's Asprin: Keep Away From Children
2. Peanuts: Product May Contain Nuts
3. Curling Iron: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning, A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping
11. Dial Soap: Use like regular soap
12. Sleeping Pills: May Cause Drowsiness
13. Puzzle: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Not to be used for the other use
15. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
16. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
17. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
20. On packaging for a Rowena iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
22. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
23. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
24. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
25. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
26. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
27. On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children."
28. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination too.
The 100 Laws of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.
#1) Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2) Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3) Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4) Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
#5) Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves; Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
#6) Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7) First Law of Temporal Mortality – “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
#8) Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9) Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
#10) Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
#11) Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
#12) Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13) Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14) Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
#15) Law of Inexhaustibility - No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and/or unconscious.
#16) Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases (Also known as the Storm Trooper Effect).
#17) Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)
#18) Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19) Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...
#20) Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
#21) Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22) Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23) Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying...
#24) Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.
#25) Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26) Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
#27) Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.
#28) Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29) Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30) Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31) Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#32) Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#33) Law of Topological Aerodynamics - ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
#34) Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
#35) Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more “simple things”, such examples would be like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36) Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
#37) Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
#38) Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39) Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
#40) Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections (no that occurs in H-manga sometimes), nope, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes mean smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds (though it’s very rare), but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41) Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
#42) Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43) Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.
#44) Law of Nominative Clamovocation - The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45) Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it (unless they’re smart to try an action but then again such an action doesn’t exist much).
#46) Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47) Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48) Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
#49) Law of Female Wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"). This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff, Sniff)
#50) Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression...
#51) Law of Uninterruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave Phenomenon”)
#52) Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC! The reasons for this are:
#53) Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54) Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man, alien, or the combination of any two of those traits.
#55) Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56) Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
#57) Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman...
#58) Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
#59) Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods) non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to “standard” or “lethal” shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)
#60) Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61) Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from a 7-11 shop.
#62) The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63) Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.
#64) Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65) Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape (see law #49).
#66) Law of Differentiated Gravitation - The following occur:
#67) Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68) Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
#69) Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70) Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.
#71) Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (See Laws # 37, 49, and 65)
#72) Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73) Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender (Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime).
#74) Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
#75) Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76) Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77) Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78) Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.
#79) Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...
#80) Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81) Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.
#82) Law of Hentai Plot - The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83) Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
#84) Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85) Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86) Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the “Good Guy” because they’re EVIL! They usually get so cocky they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
#87) Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.
#88) Law of Goofy Turn-Ons - In Hentai, ordinary pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89) Law of Penile Variance - All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90) Law of Hentai Female Characteristics - All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
#91) Law of Vaginal Variance - Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.
#92) Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.
#93) Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
#94) Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95) Law of Naughty Tentacles - All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
#96) Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
#97) Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect")
#98) Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, has the following crew members:
#99) Law of Sparkles - Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100) Law of Anime Events - Much like the WWE (and other forms of Pro Wrestling), anything and everything can happen.
This was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends, as well as gatherings from various internet sources in order to help others understand the things that happen in anime (and manga). And so, to help others understand anime, after you have read this, if you wish you may copy and paste this to your profile. Thank you.