Minoten
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Joined 01-30-03, id: 335354
Author has written 6 stories for Kingdom Hearts, and Naruto.

/\/\!/\/()+3/\/

.:.FAVE QUOTES FROM MY OWN STUFF (Or is that too pompous? Eh, whatever).:.

((Kingdom Hearts))

Riku: Hey, Sora, wanna go beat the crap out of each other?

Sora: SURE! .

oO0OoO0Oo

Kairi: You like yourself don't you, Riku?

Riku: Who wouldn't?

oO0OoO0Oo

Kairi: I smell something fishy...

Sora: Well, duh, Kairi. We only live on an ISLAND.

((NARUTO.:.))

Haku: Now, I finally have enough money to live my dream... as a woman!

Zabuza: Ho. ly. Shit.

"MAKE A CHANGE!"

Itachi: I bought about thirty-five thousand acres, and uh, for, you know, sixty cents an acre, and in about twelve minutes, And my baby brother is still not as RICH as me.

Sasuke: ... Nyuh... (Eye twitches) ...EYYAAAAAAGHHH! (Chases Itachi with a bass guitar)

"SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED! COMES WITH 7-PAGE PAMPHLET!"

Sakura: Mmm hmm. (nods)

"SAKURA NODS KNOWINGLY!"

.oOo0:.:.:0oOo.

Sasuke: (grumbles) I hate snow.

Naruto: Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow! ... (etc.)

Kakashi: Calm down, my little X-mas goose! Come under the mistletoe and give me a smooch.

Naruto: (stops, stares at Kakashi) …………………… Snow! Snow!

.o0O0o0Oo.:.o0O0o0Oo.

Kakashi: (sniff sniff) What's that smell?

Sakura: It's your butt roasting over an open fire.

Kakashi: Oh. Watch the show, I've got a goose to cook. Ow, ow, ow!

(He runs off, his ass ablaze… leaving the kids with their enemies.) (Silence)

Itachi: Y'know, X-mas just wouldn't be X-mas without Sasuke doing the Dance of the Candy Canes for us.

Sasuke:WHAT!?

Itachi: Come on Sasuke, it's Auntie Mei's favorite.

Sasuke: Uggghhhhuuuccck…

Itachi: Well, how about Jingle Bells?

Sasuke: No way in hell.

.:0Oo.oO0:..:0Oo.oO0:..:0Oo.oO0:..:0Oo.oO0:.

Itachi: THAT'S IT, FLUFFY! IF YOU DO NOT STOP CHEWING ON MY LEG THIS INSTANT, I'M GONNA PUNT YOU LIKE A FURRY FOOTBALL INTO LORD KNOWS WHAT TIME ZONE!

Fluffy: (chews on Sasuke's leg instead) Grr...

Itachi: Well... at least he obeyed me. For once.

Sasuke: I hate you.

REVENGE//OF\//THEMIST\NINJAS

Zabuza: I'm 21.

Haku: (cough) 28. (Zabuza glares) ...What?

Sakura: As I was saying, I've had enough. Sasuke, I am sorry, but Ino can have you for I care. As for me, I am going to go and call Rock Lee! skips off

Sasuke: But... But... But...

Naruto: Ouch.

Kakashi: Ah, spring. The time of year when a young man's fancy turns to love.

Sasuke: Shut up.

.:8oOo8:.

Haku: (Burp) ... (burp.)

Zabuza: okay kid, this is getting out of hand… stop it.

Haku: (Burp) Wait, wait there’s a long one coming up… (long burp)

Zabuza: Oh dead god.

Haku: (Burp) … hotdog! Herr… when’s the last time I had a fucking hot dog… oooh, vintage...

Zabuza: Awww, that's f#cking disgusting!

Haku: Admit it, I am the woman of your dreams.

Zabuza: Freak.

Haku: I think I'll go do that with the things and the pil-poping-popity-popity-popity-pop pop pop!

Zabuza: yeah, okay.. see, now I remember why I stopped letting you go out in public the first time…

Haku: …pop pop pop pop pop poppity poppoppoppopoppop…

Zabuza:…BECAUSE YOU'RE FCKING INSANE!

//\//\//\//\//~~MIST NINJAS~COAST TO COAST~~\//\//\//\//\

Zabuza: Kisame is dead! Murdered! (more crashing, mayhem) Haku, serve the first course!

Haku: Aye-aye, Cap'n. Pudding, comin' up.

~\M\I\S\T\~

Haku: Walt Disney is deaaaaad.

Zabuza: I know! Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tell you that? Hey, wood! We should build something...

(SEVEN HOURS LATER: Two boards are nailed together in an upside-down "v" shape. An extension cord is taped to one board.)

Haku: Wow. What's it do?

Zabuza: It's symbolic, Haku. Things don't always have to do things. Now, help me plug it into the wall.

Zabuza: Let me just break your arms.

~~~~

Zabuza: Come over here... I'm gonna bite your head off.

Zabuza: Haku! Release the Taco!

Haku: Okee. (pushes button; growling noise from basement)

~~/\/\I\S+~~

Gaara: Haku? Do you eat your young?

Haku: (surprised) Uh, um...

Zabuza: Haku eats anything, young, old, and then some!

- 30 pounds of cute in a 5-pound bag -

Top 6 Things overheard at Chez Big on Friday night that may or may not be dirty:

1. You're right -- you do smell like pot a little bit.

2. Monkey just bit me!

3. You remind me nothing of Paris Hilton.

4. I didn't realize I was in the line of fire.

5. These are small but functional.

6. Are you laughing at my pumpkins?

~Stuff to Do Because You Must~

Don't talk to anyone today - sing to them! Sing everything that comes out of your mouth.

Paint yourself up like a clown. It's funny!

Go to your local video store with a strong magnet and wave it around. Demand to get free movies.

Spend countless hours in your room drawing up characters for a manga that will never exist.(Yeah, I've been depressed lately.)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Naruto Goes Harry Potter by AXBHikaruRemastered reviews
Naruto gets hit on the head! Naruto is about to be thrown in a dumpster by Sasuke and Sakura! He gets to attend Howgwarts! What Else Can Go Wrong! nothing except Naruto getting the teachers ticked and practically destoying the school... please r&r
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/2/2006 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Good Night's Sleep by Aya-kun Rose reviews
Sorta crackfic, sorta random. Kakashi needs to sleep. So he does. Short crackiness ensues. Has some walnuts and some ducks.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,262 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2006 - Kakashi H. - Complete
What a Girl Really Wants by LakErgUrL262 reviews
Haruno Sakura seems to have everything that anyone would dream of having: the money, great looks, fame, and the guy of her dreams. But behind of all the glitz and glamour, Sakura is just one of us trying to live her life as a normal person.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 28,850 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/9/2004 - Published: 7/21/2003 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Unforgetable by Ryuuen Chou reviews
Sometimes a single night can change your entire way of thinking. Sometimes simple words can change your entire life. (ZabuzaHaku, one-shot)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,457 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2004 - Complete
Allegory of a Chance Encounter by Reject Product Saka reviews
Noodle bar horror. Randomness I wrote for...no reason? Weird crap. Rated PG-13 for language. Kakashi, Zabuza, and a noodle bar.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,853 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/13/2004
Nutter Butter Peanut Butter by Quatrina Raberba reviews
Naruto, Sasuke and a jar of peanut butter. Discuss.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/29/2004
The Devil's Shape by Kuro reviews
[Oneshot] Sakura likes Sasuke Naruto likes Sakura, but does Sasuke like Sakura? Jiraiya’s reflections the love triangle that seems to go through the ages...
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 912 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/20/2004 - Jiraiya - Complete
Complete Misery by Anku reviews
Another weird poem about Gaara
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/9/2003
First Love by Lizzie8 reviews
An: I have reposted ch.1 and made it longer. Ch.2 will soon be updated. I won't give up this story, not now, not ever!
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,358 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/31/2003 - Published: 3/22/2003 - Kairi, Sora
Unknown Emotions by DisturbedBunny reviews
All of the KH guys are living together and need jobs. Riku, unfortunately, must work in a sock factory or Sephiroth will feed him to the Robinson family!! And..Ansem has begun to worship a mysterious bunny as Riku gets attacked by squirrels.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,814 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/8/2003 - Published: 4/20/2003
What Happened Here? by Luna20 reviews
What would happen if I got to control the lives of the characters in Kingdom Hearts? Find out...
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,860 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 11 - Updated: 5/16/2003 - Published: 1/10/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mist Ninjas:Cost to Coast:: reviews
Zabuza & Haku were an infamous ninja duo until...the job cut. Now they enter the world of TALK SHOW TV where anything can happen & usually does. Tonight, we gonna crash into the moon coz this guy said it would be good PR! Say, who'd like NINJA DIET TIPS?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,930 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Haku
Christmas in Konoha reviews
Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke as well as certain harbingers of DOOM provide bizzare interpretations of classic Xmas tunes.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,432 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 1/10/2006 - Published: 1/5/2006 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Not Another Backstage Story reviews
Sakura comes up with a 12week Financial Plan guaranteed to change your life permanetely! 8track tabes included! She then makes an infomercial, so that all might know of her awesome product and it's impact! YOU ARE SHOCK!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2004 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Kingdom Idiots reviews
THE IDIOCY finally CONTINUES! Kairi is determined to finish that godforsaken raft, and you can guess which two tards aren't helping. Did we mention the recent ninja infestation that has hit the island?
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 6/14/2004 - Published: 3/1/2003 - Riku, Kairi
A Day in the Life of Sora reviews
This fic is about the life of our insane hero, Sora, the 'Keyblade Master in charge' down here at Kingdom Hearts. We all love our fave, emptyheaded little lunatic!
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/1/2003 - Sora, Riku