ToffyBird
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Joined 10-24-11, id: 3367687, Profile Updated: 12-04-13
Author has written 5 stories for Private Peaceful, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Saw, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.

Hello, my name is Toffybird.

I am now on archive of our own with the same name, writing some random Green Day short stories, if you're interested. Gonna be putting some of these stories on AO3, so yeah.

I am not initially normal... but that's good right?

Well I don't know what else to write, well I guess I can show you some funny stuff that I picked up:

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

He who laughs last doesn’t understand the joke.

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people...unless they die laughing.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance

Smile: it confuses the enemy

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try and keep up

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them upside the head.

Don't make a scene? Oh, don't worry, I won't. I'll give you a whole damn Broadway musical!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?


That's it... OH here is some Joker stuff toooo:

You see madness is like gravity all it takes is a little push.

‘He turns to me, and says ... “WHY SO SERIOUS?”

So, he comes at me with the knife,

“WHY SO SERIOUS?!”
He sticks the blade in my mouth;

“Let’s put a smile on that face!” And...

“Why so serious?”’

Sometimes I remember it one way. Sometimes another. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!

"Do I look like a guy with a plan?"

“Well depending on the time, he could either be in one place... or several.”

What doesn’t kill you only makes you… stranger.

Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savour all the... little emotions

If you're good at something, never do it for free.

OMG! look at what Cleverbot said to me, i all most died of laughter when it said it:

Cleverbot: You should marry someone.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yeah, it's delicious!

User: Who should I marry?

Cleverbot: ME.

AND...

Cleverbot: No, Jesus was Batman.

Just thought you should know. :D

I got bored, so I thought I would try it...

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool..
Scene--Song Title--Band/Artist

1. Opening Credits: Truth Or Dare - ICP

2. Waking up: Blaaam! – ICP

3. First Day of College: 86 – Green Day

4. Falling in Love: Castaway –Green Day

5. Kiss Scene: You lied – Green Day

6. Fight Song: Blackin’ Your Eyes - ICP

7. Breaking: A Girl Worth Fighting For – Disney (Mulan, she doesn’t sing it… Well she says a line XD)

8. Graduating College: Are You Kidding Me – Bowling For Soup (XD)

9. Big Break: In My Room - ICP

10. Mental Breakdown: Bully -Shinedown

11. Driving Song: She –Green Day

12. Flashback: Cotton Candy & Popsicles - ICP

13. Getting back together: Dear Agony – Breaking Benjamin

14. Wedding: Super Massive Black Hole - Muse

15. Birth of Child: The Dead One – ICP (… That’s depressing…)

16. Paying Dues: 80 – Green Day

17. Moment of Triumph: Mass Hysteria – Green Day

18. Final Battle: Unholy Confessions – A7x

19. Death Scene: Extraordinary Girl – Green Day

20. Funeral Scene: Disappearing Boy – Green Day

21. End Credit: Willie Bubba - ICP

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One Last Kiss by TheGreenNoodle reviews
Charley didn't expect much when his old friends dragged him to see Fright Night. But he caught the attention of the show's star, who doesn't want to let him go. Vampire! Peter.
Fright Night - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,949 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/12 - Published: 10/27/2013 - Peter V., Charley B.
Lovesick by Yuffi reviews
After being dumped on the best holiday of the year, Arthur is about to give up on love when he meets a strange man outside of a bar. How does he connect with Arthur's ex? Can he restore Arthur's hope in love, or will poor Arthur be forever alone?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,495 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 11/14/2013 - Published: 6/28/2011 - England/Britain, Prussia
Love is Blind But Also Oblivious by pikachucrazy23 reviews
Many students attending Hetalia Academy have their eyes set on a certain Brit, only problem is said Brit is too oblivious to notice the other students' dishonest intentions WorldxUk Multi-pairing Hetero, yaoi
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,927 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 11/9/2013 - Published: 4/7/2013 - N. Italy, England/Britain, America, Prussia
Oracle-Born by Summer Leigh Wind reviews
"What did I say?" He whispers. Scotland kisses his brow. "That we all end." He replies. England barks a laugh. "I must have said more, I know even now that we all will end." The Englishman bites. Scotland frowns. "Don't make me tell ya how, I just couldn't," Scotland murmurs. England's head turns, "Fine". AU. One-Shot.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,500 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/9/2013 - England/Britain, France, Scotland - Complete
The Offer by PunkIggy reviews
A simple yes would have changed everything. GerUk.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,500 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/4/2012 - Germany, England/Britain - Complete
Ace of Spades by LeontinaStardust reviews
Betrayed by his friends, Harry Potter finds himself thrown inside a muggle mental hospital, but is soon transferred to Arkham Asylum . It is here where Harry learns what true insanity is. Gotham had better watch out. Joker/Harry slash. Insane!Harry
Crossover - Harry Potter & Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 74,858 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 1,238 - Follows: 957 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Harry P., Joker - Complete
Parentage by LFArrianus reviews
Joker wants what is his back, Batman has to choose between one life and that of all the mothers and babies of Gotham. Rated M due to the sensitive topic raised, do not read if you do not like any dark/sensitive topics, child death mentioned. This was not beta-ed however I read through it a few times before posting. Reviews would be very much loved.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,782 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Joker - Complete
Death of a friend by lolaf reviews
Batman reflects on the death of his old nemesis and friend and the odd relationship they shared. Warning contains spoilers for Arkham City. Rated Teen just in case.
Batman: Arkham Asylum - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 948 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/26/2012 - Batman/B. Wayne, The Joker - Complete
hell is empty and all the devils are here by sexyvanillatiger reviews
"Why do you keep calling me Jake."; Adam is thrown out of the Cage—but instead of ending up home, he gets dumped in "The French Mistake" 'verse; Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins/Adam Milligan. Slash.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,010 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Adam M. - Complete
What true hurt is by XxSinisterSlavexX reviews
When Alfred wins the revolutionary war, the taste of winning is bitter as he watched a certain scotsman try to comfort a broken hearted brit. Was it really worth it? crap sumary T T;.. ScotEng. Rating will go up.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,010 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 45 - Published: 7/5/2011 - England/Britain, Scotland
Smoke and Magic by Draconian-Theatrics reviews
What were Scotland's reasons for hating England when he was young? What was he thinking about when he was in England's room? Perhaps we'll find out. WARNING: ABUSE AND CHARACTER DEATH. Sequel to Smoke and Blood.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,565 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/30/2011 - England/Britain, Scotland - Complete
Nighttime by Summer Leigh Wind reviews
Leaning over the brat's cradle he's met by a pair of teary green eyes. Weakly, the babe reaches out to Scotland; his lower lip still trembling. Swatting the child's small hands away Scotland hisses "I ain't pickin' ya up brat." One-Shot.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,499 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/28/2011 - England/Britain, Scotland - Complete
The Name to Remember by Chloe Winchester reviews
Jekyll won't allow Hyde to betray his love, so Hyde decides to take his frustrations out on the good doctor. Rated M for sexual content and NonCon. Jekyll/Hyde. Trust me, read it. Please R&R
Jekyll & Hyde - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,651 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Complete
Break by thatswhyyyoudont reviews
Hoffman is sent back for Adam. Sort of Lawrence x Adam and Hoffman x Adam slash, if you look at it that way.
Saw - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,086 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Hoffman - Complete
Heads and Tails by earthday reviews
When Harvey is named as the Joker's next victim, he goes to stay at Bruce's penthouse with unforeseen consequences. HarveyxBruce
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,177 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Bruce W./Batman, Harvey D. - Complete
All Roads Lead by H.J. Bender reviews
The Prince of Hell is left for dead on a desolate desert highway. Johnny Blaze is the man who finds him, and takes it upon himself to cure his evil ways. Can it be done, or is the Devil's son beyond all redemption? DISCONTINUED
Ghost Rider - Rated: T - English - Western/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,833 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 8/27/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Complete
Hallowed Eve by H.J. Bender reviews
Blackheart visits a lonely Johnny Blaze on All Hallow’s Eve. Johnny/Blackheart slash.
Ghost Rider - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,984 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Complete
A Knight's Honor by Carmilla DeWinter reviews
MaulxObi slash AU. After defeating Maul on Naboo, Obi-Wan has to deal with an injured Master and a cranky Sith prisoner.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 37,676 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 10/17/2007 - Published: 9/3/2007 - [Obi-Wan K., Darth Maul] Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon J. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Replacement reviews
England falls ill after the resent winter and is unable to attend the next meeting. Wales is sent in his place but he doesn't like how the other nations treat his brother.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,279 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/5 - N. Italy, Wales - Complete
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid reviews
England's younger life: Family troubles. Rome. And a broken promise from Scotland's part. Sucky summery sucks *sigh* Honestly? The story should be better, give it a chance? England-centric.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,698 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 12/4/2013 - England/Britain
Sudden Madness reviews
Murders have been going on in Gotham city and the Batman and Joker have been blamed for it. Both of them need to figure out what is going on without getting killed themselves. This takes place after TDK but before TDKR. *Formally 'Playing Hide and Seek'*
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 32 - Words: 52,044 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/14/2013 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Joker
Adam's Thoughts and Fears reviews
We all know how Eric Mathews got out of the Bathroom, how come Adam didn't do it? Well, I have given him the chance to get out of the Bathroom, alive. But what happened in there to make him break his own foot?
Saw - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,577 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/15/2013 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Adam F.
My part in Private Peaceful reviews
This is a story I had to do for English. It is about me fighting with Tommo in WW1. My first story, please be kind and enjoy. Please Review.
Private Peaceful - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/15/2011 - Complete