My profile picture was drawn by "Avro-chan" on deviantart. Isn't it amazing?!?!?

xXx

Hello! I'm fi13ns, nice to meet you! Enjoy my profile! If you ever want to PM me, feel free to! I won't bite! But, I won't tell you where I live, got it? Cool!

xXx

UPDATE 04/22/2020:

The last time I updated my profile was 05/20/2013. Seven. Years. (So all that cringe-worthy content below and above was posted in 2011). Unfortunately, I don't plan to update my stories in the future, they are effectively discontinued. I wrote them when I was very young and immature. Honestly, just reading through them makes me cringe, they were horrid lol. I would love to write fanfiction again, but, due to my academic commitments, I will probably continue to indulge in reading fanfiction on this site, Tumblr, and AO3! I enjoy reading Webtoons, manga, manhwa, and manhua as well! MLQC and Mystic Messenger are 2 otome games I highly recommend anyone playing :D The fandoms I am currently interested in (some that I have always been interested in as well) are Harry Potter, Boku no Hero Academia, and MLQC. I enjoy reading Bleach FF when I get a chance :) Thank you for your interest in my fics, or lack thereof, I appreciate it!

xXx

ABOUT ME

Name: *FORMERLY* fi13ns, now hourglass eternity.

Gender: Guess!... Just look right below this "about me section", and I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out. (Not telling.)

Age: How rude of you to ask! Never ask a lady such a thing! (Not saying that either.)

Country: Well... It's complicated... (Not telling you that!)

Adress: 123 Under The Sea Avenue! (You're not getting that.)

Height: Uhh, personal...

Weight: O_o

Hair Color: :O

Eye Color: This is getting really weird...

xXx

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book

Man: But I don't know your name
Woman: That's in the phone book too

Man: I know how to please a woman
Woman: Then please leave me alone

Man: I can tell you want me
Woman: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Man:My pretty face is leaving in ten minutes. Please, be on it.

Woman: Really, then it will be to smack you.

Man:Wanna go home and play Zookeeper? You be the lion and I'll feed you the meat.

Woman: If it's meat your giving me it better you because your DEAD meat to me.

xXx

Dear Math: I'm sick and tired of finding your "x". Just accept the fact that she is gone. Move on Dude. If you agree post this to your profile page.

Dear Math: Why don't you solve you own problems? If you agree post this to your profile page.

xXx

THINGS TO DO AT WALMART...

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. (Start at kitchen wares, around the knives.)

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens. (If you want to know what code three is, message me)

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. (Or wave! See if they wave back!)

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

11. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME! (Especially behind tacky stuff. Oh wait. This is Walmart. EVERYTHING is tacky)

12. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!! "

13. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

14. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" (What's that? Someone tell me, please?)

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!!"

16. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you

xXx

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake something that draws attention. Do it badly. When interrupted, apologize as loudly and apologetically as possible. Maybe start screaming I'm sorry for effect. (As in, I am SO sorry that my heart attack interrupted classes down the hall also taking exams! It's all my fault! Now they'll all fail! And will be forced to repeat the year! And won't be able to go to the collages they want! And won't get the job they want! And be forced to work at McDonalds the rest of their lives! I'm sorry! AHHH!)

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. (For extra credit, do so down to letters ad punctuation)

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

xXx

Things to do in an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

xXx

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reasons why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: will take the knife, and leave you be.

BEST FRIENDS: will take the knife, and do a strip check every day for the next 3 years

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

xXx

When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Lemonade!
When life gives you mayonnaise... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR LEMONS!!"
When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka.
When life gives you vodka, call all of your friends for a party.
When life gives you lemons ,it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you apples, its trying to scare your doctor away.
When life gives you lemons, call him a pervert and ask if he reads fanfiction.
When life gives you oranges, ask what is with his obsession with citruses.
When life gives you lemons, it wants you to make lemonade. When life gives you oranges, it wants you to make orange juice. When life gives you apples, it want you to make apple juice. And when life gives you grapes, it wants you to get drunk.
When life life throws you lemons and it hits you in the eye, tell everyone you know "life is a bitch"
When life chucks lemons at you and hit hits you where it really hurts, squish the lemons and tell everyone, "Life hurts you where it hurts you most."

When life gives you Lemons, throw them at your brother(s).

When life gives you grapes, make Lemonade. Sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it.

OKAY!! Who is this LIFE and why is he throwing stuff at People? It probably Hurts!!
Of course it does!

When life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for limes. When life throws you limes, ask for something more age appropriate. When life throws you fanfiction you can actually read, throw them back and tell life it needs to check it's grammar, spelling and punctuation.

xXx

NOTE! LOOK HERE!

Current status of "Where It All Begins"

OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS. I may not ever finish it, maybe if I really want to, but honestly, I've lost interest in Yu Gi Oh. Sorry! 4/25/13