Eldalie-mela
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Joined 02-07-03, id: 339306
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings.
Hullo, I'm an idiot- but my mum says I'm just special.

I don't know if this is secret so *shoosh* but my friend, Claire, told me something. Yeah, she came up to me oneday and said "Tiani,"
"Yes, Claire?" I responded like a sloth.
"Something." She said- so there you have it.

Apparently in a bio you write about yourself- makes it easier for all you stalkers hmm? I really did have a stalker once, she even followed me to the toilet and kept touching my hair (I hope she washed her hands :S). I call her Purple Lemons now- she even wrote a poem about Purple Lemons- she scares me. I'm also a part time stalker myself- I'm Orlando's deranged stalker :D I even have a cage to put him in once I kidnap him.

Anyway, I'm an uncooked lobster- you wouldn't think it to look at me, what with all this hair on my head and no claws or shell, but I am so you'll have to believe me.

Now for my ramblings:
I love LotR, in particular the character Pippin in the book and in the movie Pippin, Gollum and Legolas.

I also like the Harry Potter series- I relate the most with Dudley I think- Claire will tell you otherwise but she just wants to be the skinniest!

I HATE my knees- screwed my swimming and running up, and I've had one operation on them and I've got 2 more ops on the agenda. I went to the doctor and he goes "Tell me, why are your knees sore?" And I said, "If I knew I wouldn't be here to ask you, dickhead." Then I got a lecture on male anatomy and how certain features are not present on one's head. Then I went to the physio and she poked me in the butt and said "You have no butt muscles!" And I said "I'm INCONSOLLLLLLLAAABLEEEEEEEEE!" And then she gave me exercises to do so now I'm getting butt muscles,Kylie Minogue eat your heart out and write a half decent song for once dammit!

I LOATHE ENTIRELY chauvinists (eg Islamic courts, the pope)and think they should all go shoot themselves- or I'll do it for them. I have about a 107 page plan for chauvinists but to cut a long story short it involves castration (HA HA!).

WAIT ONE MORE THING! Did I mention I just ADORE reviewers? Go ahead, give me a review and I'll add you to my adoration list.

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The Knee Trembler by Lux Aeterna reviews
Hermione discovers that after a night of spectacular drunkeness she's pregnant with Draco's child. Witness the horror of well... everyone, count the number of people who pass out and behold the amusement of everybody else! Rated R for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,793 - Reviews: 554 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 12/20/2004 - Published: 4/24/2003 - Draco M., Hermione G.
The Perfect Family? by SnogginGodess reviews
Ah, but the Weasleys are far from perfect! PG-13 for drug and alcohol use, abuse, and lots of laughs. Go on, flame away! I deserve it! ;)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,053 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/29/2004 - Published: 6/28/2003 - George W., Ron W.
Bad Aphrodisiac by Para Abnormal reviews
UPDATE! CHAPTER 7 UP. Harry wakes one morning, and to his horror, finds Malfoy sleeping in his bed which leads to rumours and tourment for both boys. FIND OUT WHO THE PINK JOURNAL BELONGS TO! R&R No flames Slash Warning
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,812 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/13/2004 - Published: 11/8/2003 - Draco M., Harry P.
Seemed like a good idea at the time by bloodredcherry reviews
Updated to ch. 6 Lavender and Parvati come up with a plan...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,742 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/20/2003 - Published: 7/8/2003 - Severus S.
Rough Landings by xsilicax reviews
SEQUEL TO FLYING HIGH Legolas' condition is rapidly deteriorating, Aragorn is submerged in guilt, and Elrond has a secret history with the Rucin, which threatens to destroy his family. Also features the twins and Glorfindel. Chapter 16 up. Non-slash
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 65,649 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/21/2003 - Published: 2/6/2003 - Aragorn, Legolas
A Walk Out Of Reach by Firnsarnien reviews
*Complete* Legolas and Aragorn must use the trees to make their escape after Legolas is wounded. After meeting up with Elladan and Elrohir on the way, the four try to make it back to Rivendell unscathed.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 72,972 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/5/2003 - Published: 1/26/2003 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Trapped As A Mary Sue by o0-Key-0o reviews
Flashing hair and a captivating stare...What are Mary Sues made of? If you're a dedicated canon-lover, the answer may not be pretty... (Complete. Sequel: Trapped As A Mary Sue II)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 58,621 - Reviews: 505 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/4/2003 - Published: 7/13/2002 - Complete
ANTIDEPRESSANT FUNNESS! by randomwriter96 reviews
*CHAPTER 39 is here* A sillyfic! Pippin and Merry trying to lose weight. Legolas has narcissm problems. Aragorn's unloved. Gandalf's on Viagra. Frodo's an isolationist. Sam and Gimli appear sporadically. Bor's kind of dead. It's craziness really.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 51,179 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/18/2003 - Published: 3/17/2002
The Mary Sues' Strike Back! by Millikov reviews
What happens when a whole horde of Mary Sues' gets dropped into Middle-earth? You don't want to know. Or do you? -Updated: chp 13-
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,505 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/28/2003 - Published: 8/19/2002 - Gimli, Sauron
Journey To Middle Earth by Wayward-Green reviews
Chapter Six: Fellowship Origami
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,396 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/24/2003 - Published: 2/8/2003
Erfiér, Only Mortal by Chloe3 reviews
Aragorn and Legolas have returned from their adventure with the horrific plant Bengwiil, and are now safely back in Mirkwood. But are they safe? Why does Legolas relive memories of his infection of the plant? And what is wrong, or right, with Aragorn?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 70,750 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/2/2003 - Published: 2/1/2003 - Aragorn, Legolas
Shortcut by ola reviews
the fellowship of the ring is down to eight, but what happens when yet another one falls? finished
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,730 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/28/2003 - Published: 1/20/2003 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Istón, I know by Chloe3 reviews
Aragorn and Legolas take a hunting trip through Mirkwood, when they stumble across an ancient grudge that causes deep pain to Legolas. Why can he not hear Aragorn? Why does he not look him in the eye? And will Elrond be able to save him?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 41,127 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/10/2002 - Published: 10/23/2002 - Legolas, Aragorn
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Random LotR reviews
What happens when an idiot writes.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 1,668 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/31/2004 - Published: 12/22/2003
When a Kiss Was a Kiss, and a Sigh Was a Sigh reviews
Vernon Dursely has the perfect life, but it all threatens to fall apart when long hidden secrets concerning Harry start to haunt him
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,089 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11/23/2003 - Published: 6/15/2003