The10thHatter
hide bio
Poll: Who should end up with FemWash in Washington's Feminine Side: Before RvB? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-02-11, id: 3394977, Profile Updated: 10-23-12
Author has written 5 stories for Red vs. Blue, Fallout, and Halo.

Okay so you know this is our bio and since people really don't write about themselves on there bio i thought we should give it a new name! Hello your READING MY FRANCIS! This is going to be the best-est Francis your ever gunnuz read!

Name: Joy, Aineldiel

Gender: Female

Age: You do not need to know!

Bio: Basically i have a girl friend i am labeled insane (Yes Crazy hospital insane) and i love fanfiction!

Extras: I am doing all of this from my Xbox 360 with

If I am Lolita
Then you are a criminal
And you should be killed
By an army of little girls
The law won't arrest you
The world won't detest you
You never did anything
Any man wouldn't do
I'm Gothic Lolita
And you are a criminal
I'm not even legal
I'm just a dead little girl
But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?
No, Gothic Lolita


Okay! Now back to everyones favorite GAMESHOW "WHO WOULD YOU SCREW IF THEY WERE REAL"

Number 1:Gaara (Naruto)

Number 2:Loki (Avengers)

Number 3:Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

Number 4:Marvelo Riddle Jr. (Harry Potter)

Number 5:Reaver (Fable)

Number 6:Charon (Fallout)

Number 7:Cicero (Skyrim


YOUR GUY SIDE

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box
Played with Hotwheels as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2, or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV. (Depends on who's playing)
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high-school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleep-overs with a bunch of people
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night. (During the Winter, or when I'm somewhere cold.)

Total: 12

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink a lot.
Go to your mom for advice. (F* Her!)
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (Star wars is the greatest movie of all time!)
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/more than one hour to shoer, get dresses, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should. (I don't SMILE . . . I smirk. Big Difference.)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
used to play with dolls as a kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of everything.

Total: 15

Winner: MY GIRL SIDE BY 3 POINTS!


Bold the ones that are true

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. (BIG TIME I'M SO BISEXUAL)
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak


Anger

Here are some of our top picks for the best quotes of all time on anger:

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

- Lee Iacocca

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”

- Maya Angelou

“He who angers you conquers you.”

- Elizabeth Kenny

“Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.”

- Mohandas Gandhi

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

- Mark Twain

“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

- William Congreve

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.”

- Buddha

“Anyone can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time and for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everyone’s power and that is not easy.”

- Aristotle

“Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”

- Dr. Joyce Brothers

Beauty

Here are some of our top picks for the best quotes of all time on beauty:

“Beauty, without expression, tires.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”

- Leo Tolstoy

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

- Margaret Hungerford

“I’m tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?”

- Jean Kerr

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

- Confucius

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.”

- Martin Buxbaum

“It is not beauty that endears; it’s love that makes us see beauty.”

- Leo Tolstoy

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

- Dorothy Parker

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

- Chuck Palahniuk

“Beauty is whatever gives joy.”

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Children

Here are some of our top picks for the best quotes of all time on children:

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up ’cause they’re looking for ideas.”

- Paula Poundstone

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

- James Baldwin

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.”

- Robert A. Heinlein

“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.”

- Frank A. Clark

“Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.”

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

“We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.”

- Stacia Tauscher

“We cannot always build the future of our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.”

- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“Children are our most valuable resource.”

- Herbert Hoover

“Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.”

- Martin Mull

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

- Phyllis Diller


This is a story about God that touched my heart. I got this from LadyNostarielofMirkwood. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiances of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short-cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."


Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Grant

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, and yellow? Black

3. Your first initial? T

4. Your month of birth? September

5. Which color do you like more, black or white? Black.

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. Keyoni

7. Your favorite number? 01134

8. Do you like California of Florida more? California

9. Do you like the lake or ocean more? Ocean.

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.) I wish to not be sent back to the Asylum

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat!)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and you life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose... Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday member my little sis did this i promised she could help with a story and post somthing on my page

My name is Ceci.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I’m locked up

All day long.

When I’m awake I’m all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I’ll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says it’s my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it’s now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Ceci

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

That was a poem about how much child abuse moved me, it is a terrible thing to happen so please stand against it.


41 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS

1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If you have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that you ask their opinion of everything.

7. After you have your bath, wrap a bath towel around you and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask you what you're doing, say "Wearing clothes is against my religion."

8. Run into walls.

9. Cover yourself with a white blanket and try to walk around the house without tripping or running into something. Look at the ground and whenever you see your parents' feet, yell "BOO!"

10. Randomly pluck someone's hair out and scream, "DNA!!!!!!!!" as loud as you can.

11. Every 30 seconds, yell "I gotta go to the bathroom!!!" then stay in the bathroom for an hour and a half, grunting your ABC's.

12. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down your pants as possible then start dancing.

13. Stick cherries on your nose and start dancing around like a clown.

14. Flush the toilet while they're in the shower.

15. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"

16. Eat your hair. (I've tried it. It works.)

17. When you shower or bath, yell "HELP! I'M DROWNING!!!!!!!!!!"

18. Snort loudly when you laugh and laugh harder.

19. Go into their room at 1 in the morning and yell "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!"

20. Try to climb the wall.

21. Say everything backwards.

22. In public yell "NO MOM I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!"

23. At everything they say scream "LIAR!!!!!"

24. Fill up the bath then drain it and repeat 5 times. When you fill it up the 6th time, try to get in it then yell "MOM! DAD! THE WATER IS COLD!!"

25. Try to swim in the floor.

26. Pretend to be a phone.

27. Wear a T-shirt pointing to one of your parents that says "I'm with stupid."

28. In a supermarket, point at everything you see and scream "I WANT THAT! CAN I HAVE IT?"

29. Switch the light button on and off for a few minutes then say "Oooohhhh... I get it!"

30. Tap on their door all night.

31. Throw a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, sit cross-legged and cross your arms in the middle of the aisle until your parents let you buy what you want to have.

32. After everything they say, respond "Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no"

33. Claim you have been abducted by aliens before and tell all their friends.

34. When they ask you to call someone, stay where you are and yell their name.

35. Destroy the house and then go tell them, "I love you Mommy/Daddy"

36. Cling to them constantly and blame it on "separation anxiety".

37. If they ever take you to their job, touch EVERYTHING and spin on their desk chair.

38. Knock over every container of liquid you see "accidentally".

39. Do the opposite of what they tell you.

40. Bring home the absolutely opposite type of guy/girl they'd want you to see. Like a drop out or a goth or something. Tell them he/she's you new boyfriend/girlfriend.

41.Yell out mango everywhere you go


Jasper and Emmett’s list of HOW TO ANNOY EDWARD!!!

1. Prance around the house singing Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ at the top of your lungs every morning.

2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.

3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been ‘sleeping’ with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.

4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD

5. Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school.

6. Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him.

7. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob

8. Program his locker to—whenever he opens it to sing (LOUDLY)

"YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW!"

And repeat. Over and over and over. ( Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk)

9. Tell him it was Jacob’s idea.

10. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he’s thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it’s just you.

11. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he’s stupid when he won’t answer your question.

12. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn’t eat food.

13. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony.

14. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul.

15. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.

16. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only plays Lollipop –unedited of couse.

(D: THE HORROR, Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk) Make sure he can’t turn it off or get it replaced.

17. Replace his ringtone with ‘Outta my head’ by Asheele Simpson. Make sure he can’t change it.

18. Color on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker.

19. Refuse to replace them.

20. Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween.

21. Get offended when he refuses.

22. Take him to Victoria’s Secret with Alice.

23. Constantly whisper in his ear “Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!” (HP REFERENCE)

24. Ask him how his bath with Harry was (HP REFERENCE.).

25. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.

26. Key his car. ‘Jacob and Edward = LURVE’

27. Get him on that show ‘intervention’. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.

28. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.

29. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.

30. Call him a liar when he says no.

31. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak.

32. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.

33. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.

34. Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn.

35. Make him watch the twilight movie.

36. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.

37. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.

38. Train the dog to follow him everywhere. P.S. Make sure he doesn’t eat it.

39. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Robert Pattinson.

40. Ask him if he’s a virgin.

41. When he says yes, take a picture of him and tape it to the 40 year old virgin movie poster.

42. Make him watch Hairspray with you. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Zac Efron.

43. When he says that he is, ask him why he wasn’t the star of the singing high school people.

44. Tape porn to his walls.

45. Make sure Bella sees it.

46. Nail his CDS to the ceiling along with his Stero.

47. Refuse to take them down.

48. Tell him Jacob thinks he’s a sex god.

49. Tell him Jane thinks he’s better than a sex god.

50. Start singing ‘Paper cut’ around him. Constantly.

(LOL. I was laughing my guts out with this.)


Itunes Personality Quiz:

1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAMES NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

We are young- Fun

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Sexy Chick- David Guetta (Oooo Im sexy!!!!!!)

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Body and soul- Frank sinatra (Love 50s music!)

4. WHAT IS 22?

Twilight techno- Dimrian

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Inner being- Heist Haddow

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

The great escape- We are scientists

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Aint no rest 4 the wicked- Cage the elephate

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Vandals- Dirtyphonics

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Harder better faster stronger- Daft punk (Not kidding makes me sound like a perv)

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Ass- Big Sean (Sad face i know my mother hates me but my dad to?)

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Dog days are over- Lungs (Marriage death do us part is a goal)

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Dream on- Aroesmitth (What NOOOOOOOOO they all hate me im pretty sure my moms the DJ)

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTEREST?

My way- Frank Sinatra (Wow makes me sound like a brat)

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Sunlight- Modestep (Am i a vampire *Walks outside* [Screams in street] Im NOT F*KING GLITTERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Beautiful Lies- B-Complex (Gasp do they lie to me!!!!!! No Just being Paranoid just being...)

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Bad Santa- Place 2B (WTF!!!!)

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Sherry- The four seasons (OMG thats my moms name mabey she kills me no im being paranoid i can even see her watching me!)

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?

Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen (This song is about A.I.D.S holy S*T!!! Im gonna get AIDS)

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Like a boss- Lonley Island (This song DOES make me laugh!)

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Russian lulu-by- Butch Clancy

21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Unison- Say my name (You blocked me on facebook now your going to die so i guess i will murder Him/Her since im BI and all)

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Strangers in the night- Frank Sinatra (That is BLEEPING true!!!!!)

23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Everywhere I Go- Swan Songs (I must have everyone liking me!!!!!!)

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

The girl from Ipanema- Frank Sinatra (Oh is she my mothers Mother? Cause i would change the Anti christ being born!!!!)

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Dynamite- Rokstarr

26. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Another brick in the wall- Pink Floyd


Quotes:

Murphy's Military Laws: The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

Love your enemies, they'll hate it!

Smile... it confuses people.

Live it up, drink it down.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one will know the difference

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenius.

Never argue with a fool - they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

If you're arguing with an idiot make sure you aren't doing the same thing.

Not all men are fools, some of them are assholes

Know the rules well, so you can break them right.

If in doubt, make it sound convincing.

It's only illegal if you get caught..

Fate only takes you so far. Once you're there it's up to you to make it happen.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, pee in it, and serve it to the people that piss you off.

Love without scandal, pleasure without fear.

If you love someone set them free! If they don't come back hunt them down and kill them.

I was walking down the street when this man hammering on his roof called me a paranoid little freak... In morse code.

Evil spelled backward is live

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

It is better to drink to forget, than to forget to drink.

KARAOKE: A Japanese word meaning tone deaf.

Boy Scout: Kid dressed like an idiot led by an idiot who's dressed like a kid.

A rebel with a cause is a hero; a rebel without one is stupid.

Try to explain Hitler to a kid.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Life's a bitch, then you die.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.

First Law of Laboratory Work:
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.

Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.

As bad as it may be, it's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine "success."

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

If you can't solve it otherwise, apply brute force untill something happens

When all else fails, read the manual.

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

I smile because I don't know what's going on.

Control your life through insanity.

Scars are tattoos with better stories

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

If a turtle loses his shell is he naked or homeless?

And last and the best "I've came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass! And I'm all out of Bubblegum!"


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Untamed by Sabaine reviews
An OC in our reality is dropped into the world of Dragon Age, surrounded by the companions and Hawke, will she find love or more pain? Fluff, angst, a bit of humour and violence, ongoing. OC/Fenris.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 89 - Words: 254,207 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 4/6 - Published: 10/22/2012 - Hawke (M), Fenris
Frozen Roses by HikariNoTenshi-Crystal reviews
Jack Frost may be a Myth or a legend to others, but to Crystal he was the only one to be kind to her. As battles rage, and powers increase, Jack needs to help Crystal in keeping her alive from the forces wanting to kill her and the Guardians.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 92,833 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/11 - Published: 11/29/2012 - Jack Frost
The Not-So-Unexpected Journey by TheStarfish reviews
Part One of Three in Tara's Tale; Tara Wyatt used to be a normal girl. Then she began having visions - then she woke up in Rivendell. And now she has to live as an esteemed Seeress in a world she knows too well for her own good. And when she forces herself on the journey of Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins, how will things go? ThorinxOC, one-sided BilboxOC
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,320 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 1/28 - Published: 2/12/2013 - Thorin, Bilbo B., OC
HTTYD: Night In The Twilight Sky by Star Studielle reviews
When Twilight, a young viking, escapes her burning village, takes refuge in Berk, but soon she has a little twist in her tale OCx? T for violence later on
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 105,001 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 1/21 - Published: 11/27/2011 - Toothless
To Narnia and Back by Lexxa24 reviews
Alex has always been jealous of her adopted siblings, the Pevensies, as they had been to the land of Narnia through the wardrobe. But when Alex ends up going to Narnia with her siblings, she discovers that it's much better than what she ever imagined...
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 98,185 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 1/13 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Caspian X
Parallel Lives by jamiepage19 reviews
One galaxy, two Shepards; their lives will never be the same again. With the Collectors defeated, John Shepard is about head back through the Omega 4 relay when the unthinkable happens and he and his crew are suddenly teleported back to Virmire. Once there, they stumble upon the Normandy SR-1 and he soon finds out that there's a Jane Shepard in charge and nothing is as it seems.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 157,584 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Shepard (F), Garrus V., Miranda L., Shepard (M)
Changes Everything by dinolove453 reviews
It is amazing what one person can do to change a story. They can influence actions, plot lines, and life choices. This is the story of Maggie Johnson, Harry's cousin and adoptive sister, as she grows up with Harry, attends Hogwarts with him, and changes his life and his adventures, forever, in the way only a sister can. AU, eventual H/Hr, Neville/OC, R/L. Please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 231,197 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 12/23/2013 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G., Neville L., OC
The Last Air Bender:Alterations: AangLee by Everman the guardian of Taco's reviews
This is the first in a series of stories taking place during Book 2 of Avatar the Last Air bender, depicting what would happen if certain characters met under different cercumstances, explorining new romances, dangers, and tragedies
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 56 - Words: 267,986 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Aang, Ty Lee
Naive Melody by crisis what crisis reviews
In which Gandalf invites half-human, half-Hobbit thief Relly Crillynook to join Thorin Oakenshield and Co. on the quest to reclaim Erebor, an adventure involving stolen forks, burping with dwarves and eventually falling for a certain unassuming and reluctant Hobbit. Bilbo/OC.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 89,867 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 12/16/2012 - Bilbo B.
How to Train your Dragon: Astrid's Turn by Maui Girl 808 reviews
What if Hiccup was the tough, stubborn, agile Viking and Astrid was the weak, shy, clumsy Viking? Warning: some parts have been changed from the movie to fit Astrid better. AstridxHiccup and AstridxToothless FRIENDSHIP!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 41,139 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Astrid, Toothless
Stark Contrast by moviebuffgirl reviews
"I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness." She is the younger sister of Tony Stark. He is the younger brother of Thor. Two people standing in the shadows of their older siblings are thrown together in a fight against various beings intent on wreaking havoc on Earth. Along the way, they find strength and comfort in each other, possibly in more ways than one.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 63 - Words: 174,931 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Loki - Complete
Sweet Dreams by MonDieu666 reviews
Parker has a dream about Eliot that changes everything. From then on Parker questions Eliot's role in her life and what she wants from him.
Leverage - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,338 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 10/30/2012 - Published: 7/11/2012 - Parker, Eliot S. - Complete
What Shouldn't Be But Ultimately Is by whatshouldntbe reviews
"Though you are different by experiences and gender, your heart, your mind, your soul remains identical. Universes alternating or not, your entire essence, nevertheless, is the same, and that, Jim, is why we will always be t'hy'la." girl!Kirk/Spock
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,817 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 3/2/2012 - Published: 2/18/2012 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Washington's Feminine Side reviews
Agent Washington takes in alot while trying to find the Meta. She meets new people breaks old rules and even learns a new word. she'll pass alot of admires on the way. FEMALE Wash first one to! Multiple pairings Wash/Meta Wash/Sarge Wash/Caboose & a little Wash/Everyone PART 1 OF SERIES
Red vs. Blue - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 23,706 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/14/2012 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Wash, M. Caboose
Church's Feminine Side Part 1 reviews
Lexi Church has a lot to deal with, including a horny solider, an obsessed fan-boy, a tougher than nails freelancer & a base full of reds. Join Church and the rest of the gang in part 1 of series. FemChurch first one too. Church/Caboose Church/Tucker & some Church/Reds. Rated T for swearing. Church is human... At first. FemChurch as AI on cover
Red vs. Blue - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/24/2012 - L. Church/Alpha
Petals Don't Lie reviews
She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, She- Wash, do you love her? Wash/Tex. This is not my story: I'm helping a friend get more veiws the author is, Larissa
Red vs. Blue - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,201 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/21/2012 - Wash, Tex/Allison
The case of the angry Lolita reviews
Leyan Church's Armour get stolen and someone leaves her only a dress? What the halo is going on? FemChurch/Caboose, slight FemChurch/Sarge... Tiny romance.
Halo - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 389 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2012
My Name Is Charon reviews
A small poem about LW/Charon
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Charon, Lone Wanderer