Author has written 3 stories for Warriors, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Hey there people of Fanficton!
|...| Put this on your
|...| page if you have
|..O| ever pushed a
|...| door that said pull!
╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your page
║╚╣║║╚╗If you like to laugh or
╚═╩═╩═╝ laugh too much.
║ O ║on your pαge
╚══╝if you like music
If life gives you lemons...
1. Chuck 'em at Octavian!
2. Make grape juice!
3. Put the juice in your eyes and run around screaming!
4. Put them under a chair cushion and wait for someone to sit on it!
5. Lick it!
6. Act as if it's an interesting specimen!
7. Put them in the freezer and eat them while they are frozen!
8. See if you could make them stay afloat in the water with your awesome demigod powers!
9. Make lemon people!
10. I don't know, get away from me!
40 ways to make the pizza guy feel nervous/annoyed/irritated when calling in your order
1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.
2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.
3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.
4. Finish the order with: "Remember, this conversation never happened".
5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.
6. Just give him your address and say "Surprise me". Then hang up.
7. Answer his questions with other questions.
8. Spell the ingredients.
9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter "P"
10. Ask him if they have pizza.
11. Say "Hello" and act as if he called you.
12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.
13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.
14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.
15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say "Ok, it’s 17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order".
16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.
17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.
18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.
19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.
20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.
21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.
22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.
23. Ask if you could see the menu.
24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.
25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.
26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.
27. Ask only for one slice.
28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.
29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.
30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.
31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.
32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.
33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.
34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say "no mushrooms please". Then hang up before he can say anything.
35. when he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.
36. Breath loudly.
37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.
38. Avoid using the word "PIZZA" by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying "Please, don’t use that word".
39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell "Aaarghhh"
40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.
9 Things I Don't Like
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the freak?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I still be standing here? I don't think so.
Bum bum bum... dont ask why I said that!!
Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in the true God, Father, and Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
Words to live by
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Who ever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.
- Two wrongs don't make a right. Two rights don't make a left. That would take three.
- Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
- 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
- One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject.
- We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, dang, I'm gonna miss your dumb head.
- Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
- If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.
- A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "THAT WAS FUN!!"
- A day without light is, well, night.
- Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
- Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars.
- Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before.
- If anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand.
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