Author has written 3 stories for 39 Clues.
Hey fanfictioners! Welcome to my profile. Its mostly random stuff that I find funny, but here’s some stuff about me.
So far Cahill 101, Heartbreak, and Do You Love Me Too? are my stories so far. I am a Madrigal/ Tomas agent, and I am completely obsessed with the 39 clues. I am a ninja and I idolize Amy Cahill. I despise Jake, Kurt and Evan with all my heart, and if I hear one more person pair Amy up with one of them, I will write a two page, six paragraph essay on how awful they all are for Amy. I’ll post it here on my profile if I get around to it. I have a major sweet tooth too. Just so you know. If you ever want to send a ten pound of jelly beans to anyone, you met her.
Cahill 101 update: I'm working on it guys. I really am. But you know school. I'll try to update, but I can't guarantee it will be soon. I promise though, I'm not giving up on the story. Thanks so much for still supporting me.
39 clue pairs I LOVE:
Pairs I can deal with:
Pairs I hate:
Put this in your profile
I also have a new obsession taking over completely. I have joined the Harry Potter Draco/Ginny shippers! Some of you are groaning (like everyone I know), but hopefully others will join us on the dark side! Sometime, I'm going to put up a list of my favorite fics, as I wwent through pretty much the entire Drinny fandom. Took the entire summer, but I did. XD
You know you're a 39 Clues fan when...
You are one-hundred percent sure that Kurt is a Vesper spy (Totally.)
You cried (or at least felt like it) when Irina died (I felt like it, but I was in class….)
You wish Ian and Amy would just kiss and make up already! (Please guys? Before I die?!)
Whenever you see something suspicious, you claim it's a Vesper spy sent to kill you (Totally. Either that or a Lucian. Sorry Lucians!)
You've read nearly every FanFiction on the 39 Clues fandom (Close enough considering I joined a few weeks ago.)
You've dreamed about 39 Clues once... or twice... or more... (Yes. Do I need more?)
Anytime someone talks about someone famous like George Washington, you're always telling them what Cahill branch they're from (Always!)
Whenever you see a famous guy like Benjamin Rush or John Hancock, you wonder if they're a Cahill, Vesper, or none of the above (Of course.)
Your parents roll their eyes whenever you bring it up, because you talk about it WAY too much (They don’t just roll their eyes.)
You started liking History because 1) Amy and Jonah like it 2) You need to prepare for the hunt, and 3) You need to know more about your relatives (I know a lot more history now.)
You try to live up to the expectations of your branch: you're an Ekaterina, so you're constantly trying to get better at math and/or science; you're a Janus, so you're always practicing music, writing and drawing; you're a Lucian, so you're always trying to solve puzzles and get better at lying...err, I mean acting; you're a Tomas, so you're always trying to do brave things, like water skiing. (I’m actually participating in the rock climbing unit in gym so I can become a Madrigal and live up to my Tomas heritage.)
You're going to buy the movie when it comes out, even if it stinks (which you know it will because that's how it is with books-turned-into-movies, they're never as good as the books themselves) (As soon as it comes out.)
You hate it when people remind you that the 39 Clues aren't real, and come up with a hundred reasons why it very well possibly could be real (Yes. I’m not obsessed. You know… not that much…)
Most of your daydreams consist of at least one character from the 39 Clues series (Yep.)
You have a crush on one of the book characters (Yes. But if it was me or the character that he would be matched up with defiantly the character.)
You spend most (if not all) of your allowance on the Card Packs (I beg my parents.)
You wish you could meet all the authors (Yes!!!!)
You've declared September 27th national "Cahills Made Up Day!" or something close to that (see book ten, page 326, line 18, words 4 through 6 for confirmation!) (It is now!!)
You want to take a trip around the world, and stop at all the places Amy and Dan went (PRETTY PLEASE!!)
You confuse your history teacher as to why you know so much about Ben Franklin (We learned that last year.)
You have the first to pages of chapter 14 in book 3 memorized (Amian Forever!)
You knew someone named V was a problem before the 10th book because on the site somewhere it says "Could it be V?" (I read the books more than the website. So no…)
You read Shakespeare just to learn the insults like Dan (No, not a very classical person.)
When you're mad at someone you call them a "Slimy Lucian" even though they have no idea what you're talking about (or a dirty Vesper)
Every time you hear a love song you think of Ian/Amy (Come on Amy. Forgive him already!)
You actually realized that Ian/Amy started liking each other the same way Hope/Author did (Kind of…)
You speculate as to who Irina's child's father is (Yes!!! Tell me!!!)
You think there is no way on Earth Irina's dead because she's too cool for that (No, she sacrificed her life for Amy and Dan. That’s cool enough for me.)
You have plans to break into the KGB just to get Irina's fingernail things (Nope! Scary. And probably illegal.)
You started saying "dissing" because Jonah does (In a way…)
The wallpaper on your computer has something to do with the 39 Clues (That pic of Natalie from Rapid Fire)
You can give the title and color of the books without thinking (My favorite is Sword Thief. Red.)
You bought a book just because it was written by one of the authors (I borrowed them from the library.)
You desperately want to be in the movie (Love to be Amy! Same personality too!)
You cheer every time someone says "39" (I also think of Dan’s “33squared3cubed)
You "go all Lucian" on anyone who disses the books (I threaten them so much.)
You say "go all Lucian" (Not really.)
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where is my ceiling?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and be quite.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.
Stressed is Desserts backwards :)
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...let’s just hope it's not a train.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I am in shape...round is a shape.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.
Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
Forecast for tonight: darkness.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!
Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing, more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us" type of thing
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random; I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people you don't like. When life gives you people you don't like, push them off bridges.
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence... because of something that happened yesterday.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Two men walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!
Questions to Ponder...
Why can pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
Where's the good in goodbye?
Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
These are some really funny things that you do to a pizza guy when you're ordering/paying.
1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.
2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.
3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.
4. Finish the order with: "Remember, this conversation never happened".
5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.
6. Just give him your address and say "Surprise me". Then hang up.
7. Answer his questions with other questions.
9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter "P"
10. Ask him if they have pizza.
11. Say "Hello" and act as if he called you.
12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.
13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.
14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.
15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say "Ok, it’s 17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order".
16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.
17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.
18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.
19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.
20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.
21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.
22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.
23. Ask if you could see the menu
24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.
25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.
26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.
27. Ask only for one slice.
28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.
29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.
30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.
31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.
32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.
33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.
34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say "no mushrooms please". Then hang up before he can say anything.
35. When he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.
36. Breath really loudly.
37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.
38. Avoid using the word "PIZZA" by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying "Please, don’t use that word".
39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell "Aaarghhh"
40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.
Favorite Dan Quotes:
"Greetings, young ones." Alistair said.
"Greetings, weasel." Dan replied.
"Whoa!" Dan said.
Amy gripped his arm. "You found it?"
"No, but look! This whole essay - 'To the Royal Academy.' He wrote a whole essay on farts!" Dan grinned with delight. "He's proposing a scientific study on different fart smells. You're right, Amy. This guy was a genius!"
"That's great. Except for the fact that it's completely unimportant." Dan said.
"The au pair was bug-eyed. "What happened back there?"
"It's not our fault!" Dan babbled. "Those guys are crazy! They're like mini-Darth Vaders without the mask!"
"They're Benedictine monks!" Nellie exclaimed. "They're men of peace! Most of them are under vows of silence!"
"Yeah, well, not anymore," Dan told her. "They cursed us out pretty good. I don't know the language, but some things you don't have to translate."
I thought this was so sweet! Even though I don't have to deal with boys yet, I had to add this!
A True Boyfriend:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and don’t let go
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs. later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Kiss her in the pouring rain.
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Let her know she's important.
Give her the world.
39 Clues Creed.
When I'm at a funeral, I'll always wonder if the person who died was a Cahill.
When I'm about to make a choice that will change my life, I'll remember Mr. McIntyre
When I hear about Hollywood, I'll think of all the Janus and what drama they're pulling now.
When I hear about warring countries, I'll remember those silly little Lucians.
When ever there's an athletic event, I'll hope I won't face a Tomas.
When I study hard, I'll wish for the brain of an Ekaterina.
When I see families breaking up, and hurting each other, I'll remember Olivia Cahill, and the pain she went through.
When I see people trying to pick up the pieces and start over, I'll remember Madeleine.
When I hear a cat 'Mrrrp'-ing, I'll think of Saladin.
When I see crazy teenagers rocking out, I'll remember Nellie.
When I see eleven-year-old boys being boys, I'll remember Dan.
When I act crazy shy or stick my face in a book, I'll remember Amy.
When I see a family of sport fanatics, I'll remember the Holts.
When I see people acting like spies, I'll remember Irina.
When I see a monkey, I'll remember the innocent Nikolai
When ever I hear a British accent, I'll think of Ian.
When I see a girl having a tantrum, I'll think of Natalie.
When I hear about acts of cruelty and murder, I'll shudder and remember Isabel.
When I think about the world in general, I'll think about every other Cahill in the world who don't know who they are.
If you love the 39 Clues as much as I do, repost this and add your name to the list.
roxy5000123, blackstarfairyfiend, Evanescence456, RageRunsStill, Lapulta, Madrigal Queen, luverinreadin, kahilllkid5
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