I can't believe it's been ten whole years since I first loaded a story here. I'd been reading for longer than that but still, I feel old now.

I won't give you my name, but I'm a girl. I'm 25 years old. Still living at home with my parents and 3 brothers. When I'm not reading I'm working. I live in Australia. About 45 minutes from Sydney. What else can i say...I like reviews...that's about it I guess. I'm a very boring person, aren't I? Oh well.

check out my account on fictionpress.com too. not much on there yet, but give me time. I go by angel cloud.

Sorry! Couldn't resist filling this with silly stuff. scroll to the bottom if yo don't want to read it. i didn't come up with it but obviously someone did so they wrote it not me.

M5

Vicar of Dibley jokes:

1: Two nuns are driving along on a stormy night when they are pulled over by a vampire.

One nun says to the other "show him your cross".

So the other yells out the window "get out of the way you toothy git!"

2: Three nuns die and end up at the gates of Heaven.

St Peter says that before they can enter, they must first each answer a question.

To the first he asks "who were the first humans?" She says "Adam and Eve" and he lets her in.

To the second he asks "where did they live?" She says "In the garden of Eden" and she too is admitted.

Then he asks the third, "what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

She replies "My goodness that's a hard one" - and he opens the gate and lets her in.

3: What do accountants do when they are constipated?

They work it out with a pencil.

(my first experience with Richard Armitage and I gotta say I've had a crush on him ever since. Isn't he just gorgeous with that smile? if you don't know who this is think Thorin Oakenshield form the hobbit)

4: A vicar and his friend are playing golf. His friend misses a three foot putt and says "Damn! Missed the bugger!"

The vicar is shocked by his language and tells him that God will strike him down if he keeps on cursing.

The friend laughs and says the same thing when he misses the next shot.

Suddenly, there is a bolt from the sky and the vicar is struck dead! Then a voice out of the heavens calls "Damn! Missed the bugger!"

5: A nun is taking a bath when someone knocks at the door.

She asks who it is, and the person says, "The blind man."

So she lets him come into the bathroom.

The man enters the room and says, "Nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"

6: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitis!

7: Santa Claus goes to the doctors and says "Doctor I think I've got a mince pie stuck up my bottom.

The doctor says "Ok Mr Claus bend over please" and he looks and says "yes, indeed you have a mince pie stuck up your bottom - but you're in luck as I've got some cream for that".

8: Superman's feeling a bit bored because Batman and Spiderman are on a scuba diving course, so he doesn't have anyone to play with.

So he's flying around. Suddenly he sees Wonder Woman spreadeagled naked on top of a tall building.

He's always fancied Wonder Woman so he thinks now's my chance and he swoops down and faster than a speeding bullet does the business and then he flies off again.

A moment later Wonder Woman says "what was that?"

Then the Invisible Man climbs off her and says "I don't know but it hurt a lot".

9: What's happens if you cross a turkey with an octopus?

Everybody gets a leg at Christmas.

10. Knock Knocks

Jim's Knock-Knock Joke
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Yes.

(makes perfect sense to some of us -) Gerry's Knock-Knock Joke Knock-knock. Who's there?

Knock knock

Who's there

Interrupting sheep

Interrupting shee-
BAAA!!!