Siriusly Hilarious
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Joined 11-12-11, id: 3423242, Profile Updated: 10-17-12
Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, and X-Files.

Well hello there, my curious little reader.
Fancy meeting you here!
Wait, it's my profile.
Duh.
I'm honored you've decided to come take a peek at my lowly profile . . .
And maybe read a story or two?
Anyhoo, enough with the small talk, lemme tell you a bit about me!

I'm 24.
I'm female.
I'm a HUGE X-Files fan.
Scully is currently my favorite character.
Mulder is a very close second.
Doggett sneaks in as third.
I'm a nerd.
But a cool nerd.
Siriusly.
I'm easily distrac-
SHINY!
I love cheesecake.
I'm not allowed to eat it anymore.
Stupid diet.
I'm an insomniac most nights.
Most days I can be found on Facebook or passed out in bed.
My plot bunnies come and go.
Some days they're nibbling on my grey matter.
Other days they're playing in the field in my mind.
It's sort of a crapshoot with them.
I'm extremely ADD as of la-
SHINY!
And I don't always update when I say I will.
Bad me.
Friends call me normal.
Siriusly.
I don't believe them.
Such lies.

That pretty much sums me up, so yeah . . . if you have a question, my inbox is always open. Shoot me a message, 'kay? 'Kay.
Glad we established that.

SHINY!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Those Gilded Chains We Wear by KuraiBites reviews
During the battle for Hogwarts, Hermione accepts to do the Unbreakable Vow with Bellatrix to protect the people she loves. But binding herself to the dark witch has more consequences than she could ever have anticipated. Cover art by batlesbo/Chloé C.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 38 - Words: 280,644 - Reviews: 2001 - Favs: 1,477 - Follows: 1,617 - Updated: 12/26/2014 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L.
Smoke and Mirrors by Hidden Treasures reviews
After an explosion at a crime scene, Sara tries to get back on her feet and piece her memory back together. GSR
CSI - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,057 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 12/4/2012 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Sara S., Gil G. - Complete
The Madness Will Out by Rodolphuss.Lestrange reviews
A fifteen year old Sirius Black faces disownment and the humiliation of it. He seeks out the one person he trusts - Andromeda Black not yet married to Ted. But what will happen when she finds out what has happened? I suck at summaries the stories better I promise! Smut and Torture don't like - Don't read. Blackcest Sirius Andromeda.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,954 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/20/2012 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Sirius B., Andromeda T. - Complete
Keep Calm and Carry On by Muffliato reviews
Taking the Tube to King's Cross works for many a muggleborn. It was only a matter of time before Arthur Weasley found out about the fun to be had... Merlin help London's poor commuters! — Pre-Epilogue by a year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,222 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/28/2012 - [Ginny W., Harry P.] Arthur W. - Complete
Amphierotic Bloodlines by Sapphire Smoke reviews
Perfection had always been expected in the House of Black... -Full Summary Inside- •Bellatrix/Narcissa•
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 50 - Words: 271,645 - Reviews: 449 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 12/2/2010 - [Bellatrix L., Narcissa M.] - Complete
One Night To Change It All by alexivialove reviews
Alex heads to a bar at the behest of her best friend. Her life will never be the same.
Law and Order: SVU - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 47,317 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 5/25/2012 - A. Cabot, O. Benson
Whitney Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by wujy reviews
Book One in my Girl Who Lived series. The beloved story told with a unique and thoughtful twist. How do girls act differently than boys and how does society treat them differently? *FINISHED* Book Two is posted and in process. The first chapter of WPCoS has been added to the end here.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 49,408 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Neville L. - Complete
In Molly's Eyes by epifonia reviews
Molly is captivated by a polite little black haired boy that asked her how to get onto the platform. How will he change her life as she learns more about him? Harry's neglect and abuse as seen from Molly's POV. One-shot. Child abuse and neglect mentioned, nothing graphic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,662 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 19 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Harry P., Molly W. - Complete
A Black Tie Affair by Greyella reviews
Bella: dressed to kill. Cissa: picks a strange time to play mental chess. Implied Cissatrix. Hints of Voldatrix and Lucissa. For mature audiences only (18 & up).
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,082 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2012 - [Bellatrix L., Narcissa M.] - Complete
The Hands of the Sisters by mrs.milfoy reviews
Narcissa and Bellatrix spend their days together as sisters do...for the most part. Incest, later, so be aware. Not to mention general debauched dialog and shenanigans along the way. It gets dark in here, people. Remember lumos? Hear a playlist for this story by visiting the link on my profile! Equal parts NM/DM NM/BL.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,418 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 4/21/2012 - Published: 2/17/2012 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Citrea by TheImperius reviews
A PwP/lemony one-shot of my favourite Malfoy couple. Rated M for a reason.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/21/2012 - Lucius M., Narcissa M. - Complete
No Light, No Light by UndeadBellatrix reviews
Hermione Granger goes out of her way to save the life of Narcissa Malfoy. As an unlikely friendship begins, an even more unlikely relationship blossoms.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,685 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 11/27/2011 - Hermione G., Narcissa M.
Never Forget, Never Let Go by InsanityRunsInMyBlood
Slightly AU. WARNING: Character death canon death, though .
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,535 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/8/2011 - Andromeda T., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Blame the Heat by TheEvanescentOne reviews
A drabble which gives us an insight to Bellatrix and Rodolphus's relationship.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,108 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Bellatrix L., Rodolphus L. - Complete
Reunion by TheEvanescentOne reviews
Bellatrix comes home from Azkaban to meet her little sister. But how much have things changed in all those years?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,370 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Broken by TheEvanescentOne reviews
Narcissa reaches breaking point and lets her emotions spill out unlike the aristocrat she was brought up to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Narcissa M. - Complete
Reality is Futile by Greyella reviews
Existence is subjective. An accidental voyeur pays witness as reality breaks against a tree. Bellamione. Part 1 of the Reality is Futile series.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 993 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/30/2011 - [Bellatrix L., Hermione G.] Harry P. - Complete
The Dance by Greyella reviews
Forbidden dances on the floor and against a door. Bellamione. Collab with AGG. Somewhat AU. For mature audiences only (18 & up).
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/2/2011 - [Hermione G., Bellatrix L.] - Complete
Little Deaths by Greyella reviews
Hermione finds hated solace in the Library. Bellamione. For mature audiences only (18 & up).
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,376 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 18 - Published: 10/29/2011 - [Hermione G., Bellatrix L.] - Complete
Rebirth by Greyella reviews
Hermione's 32nd birthday leaves her numb and hollowed inside, but an impromptu midnight visit to the Mirror of Erised leads to an unexpected encounter and a rebirth of desire. For mature audiences only (18 & up).
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,225 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 25 - Published: 9/20/2011 - [Hermione G., Bellatrix L.] - Complete
Out of Body, In Your Mind by Another Girl Grasping reviews
Bellatrix POV. Bellatrix reflects on the young woman who mourned her death. Rated M for some sexual content, I'm certian I cussed somewhere in there too.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,036 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/13/2011 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Warden and her Prisoner by Another Girl Grasping reviews
Hermione has surprised everyone by taking up the position of Warden in Azkaban. Four years after the war Bellatrix Lestrange has finally been caught. Rated M for Language, violence and sexual situations all the fun stuff
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,022 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 8/17/2011 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L. - Complete
But I Said I Wanted a Sandwich by mooshymoomoo reviews
Voldemort tries Bella's patience, Mrs. Lovett is scared of a twig, and Mr. T freaks out- he's seeing double! T for mild language
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,384 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Bellatrix L., Eleanor L. - Complete
Search the Skies if You Must by TheEvanescentOne reviews
Bellatrix Lestrange has been given a mission by the Dark Lord to travel back in time to find him a very valuable object. On her mission, Bella comes across Mrs Lovett's meat pie shop where emotions run high and ice becomes thin. may be a T rating later
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,306 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/14/2011 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Bellatrix L., Eleanor L.
Meanwhile, The World Goes On by missparker85 reviews
Amanda/Robin RPF.
Sanctuary - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,446 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Will Z., Helen M. - Complete
Nothing by TheEvanescentOne reviews
The Battle of Hogwarts is over. Bellatrix Lestrange is dead. Rodolphus thinks of his dear wife... I'm actually quite proud of this so please R&R, I need opinions!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Rodolphus L., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Hogwarts Days by TheEvanescentOne reviews
Bellatrix Black is currently attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Originally a oneshot but might turn into something more.. R&R please! x
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Bellatrix L., Minerva M.
The Sin That is Lust by beautiessleeping reviews
There are taboos that exist only to be cleaved down by the most atrociously lustful of people. A series of increasingly, disturbingly smutty one-shots involving Draco Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,569 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/9/2009 - Published: 7/28/2009 - Bellatrix L., Draco M.
A Special Gift by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix gets Narcissa a special present for her birthday. femslash, blackcest, BellatrixNarcissa, NarcissaBellatrix
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,889 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Sharing is Caring by fembuck reviews
Narcissa is finally old enough to join her older sister's secret club. BellatrixAndromedaNarcissa, blackcest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,847 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M.
The Enemy of Love by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix and Andromeda love each other as much as two people can. But there is love, and then there's life, its enemy. Contains Deathly Hallows spoilers. BellatrixAndromeda, blackcest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,651 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Andromeda T., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Secret Sister by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix and Narcissa take care of each other after a no good, very bad day. Contains Deathly Hallows references. BellatrixNarcissa, femslash, blackcest
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,481 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Moral Education by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix teaches Narcissa what happens to bad girls. BellatrixNarcissa, blackcest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,424 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/1/2007 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Bella Says by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix and Narcissa play Bellatrix's favorite game together one night. BellatrixNarcissa, Blackcest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,811 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 24 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Jewel by fembuck reviews
Narcissa shines brightly, she is bright and perfect. She is Bellatrix's jewel. BellatrixNarcissa, blackcest, incest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,672 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/16/2006 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Good Girl by fembuck reviews
Bellatrix goes to visit Narcissa after escaping from Azkaban and finds that the saying 'the more things change, the more they stay the same' is very true ... BellatrixNarcissa, blackcest, incest, femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,011 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/16/2006 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Possession reviews
Narcissa sees a side of Bellatrix that is saved just for her and it's sort of nice. Blackcest and sort of fluffy . . . if you don't like Blackcest then don't read. It's rated M for a reason.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2012 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Fluffy Friendship reviews
Scully and Mulder are cute together, but what's to come in the future? Rated for later chapters, just a silly and very fluffy story.
X-Files - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,520 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/17/2012 - D. Scully, F. Mulder
Boredom Is Unacceptable reviews
"She was terribly bored and Narcissa Malfoy was determined to fix that; she hated to be bored." Lucius shows his wife a side that not many are privileged to see and Narcissa is amused by how well he gets along with the peacocks. Slightly A/U. This is my first attempt at a Lucissa fic, so go easy on the nitpicking, yeah?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,255 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
Ne'er a Love So Twisted: A History of Blackcest reviews
"It's late, but I need to see her. Even if it's only to tell her that I love her, to tell her that she's been missed, I need to go to her. I need her to breathe, to survive. And if I don't see her soon, I'll drift away into the darkness." WARNING: Blackcest! Don't like Blackcest? One, what the heck's wrong with you! Two, don't read this story. Simple as that. Rated M for content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,093 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/15/2012 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L.
Random Drabbles of Yummy Blackcest reviews
5 75-word drabbles prompted by random words chosen by a word generator. Contains faint Blackcest. Don't read if you don't like it, and don't forget to read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,578 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/14/2012 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Bellatrix L., Narcissa M.
Disobedience Demands Punishment reviews
'It hadn't been a major crime, just a piece of cake eaten without permission. But her Mistress was a firm woman who made no allowances for any sort of insolence and had ordered her pet to kneel in the corner and await her punishment.' Blackcest and D/s
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,568 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Complete
The Journal of Narcissa Malfoy reviews
No one ever really knows what I'm going through. No one ever really knows my pain and suffering. I put on a mask, I play the happy housewife, but I'm hurting inside. This is my journal, a look into who I am behind the mask.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L.
Orion the Hunter reviews
It's bedtime and Bella's son just wants a bedtime story! -AU-
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 540 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Bellatrix L. - Complete
Letters From Me reviews
Bellatrix is sentenced to life in Azkaban, and Narcissa promises to write her. A look at the letters from one sister to the other.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 2,597 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/3/2011 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Narcissa M., Bellatrix L.