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Joined 11-13-11, id: 3427198, Profile Updated: 03-11-12
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.

Welcome to the world of cynicism. And Harry Potter. But mainly cynicism. No, both.

-I'm a little shy, a little nerdy, quite sarcastic, very cynical, extremely dark and ultra-mega-super insane.-

~I, like the rest of the world, share an indescribable fascination with the squiggly line on my keyboard.~

My real name is not Evelyn, just to let everyone know. But keep referring to me as that. Hey, I might even be a guy. But I'm not. Maybe.

Alan Rickman is my all-time favorite actor ever in the history of forever. He is awesome. I sing his praises. Go him.

I am a Grammar/Spelling/English Nazi and hate it when people don't use grammar correctly. I mean, seriously? If you're going to post fanfiction, learn how to use an apostrophe. Or speech marks, for Merlin's sake. Even a simple hyphen will do. Just learn English... or whichever language you are posting in.

The girl you just called a Mudblood? She spends hours practicing spells hoping people will like her. The boy you just stupefied? His parents use the Cruciatus Curse on him regularly. That kid you just pushed? He is trying to use the killing curse on himself. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother was killed by a Death Eater. Put this on your profile if you are against bullying in the Wizarding World. You never know what it’s like until you fly a mile on their broom.

Author's Note: Prepare for Slytherin rant that really doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

I am a Slytherin. No denying it. True, I am probably the most Ravenclaw Slytherin ever, but I am definitely a Slytherin. Ever see Scrubs? I am Dr Cox. Just female. I am far, far, far too obsessed with Slytherin. My background for everything is relative to Slytherin. Salazar Slytherin is totally awesome. I mean, having a Chamber of Secrets, with a basilisk inside? You have to admit that is cool. Parselmouths are the best. Dark Magic is so interesting. I mean, think of the types of torture! And the Potions. Ohh, I love Potions classes. (Ahem, Chemistry.) Slytherin is the epitome of cool. Sarcasm rules. As I once said, somewhere, (maybe in McDonalds. I don't know.) "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of comedy." So, yay. Isn't Salazar an awesome name? And Draco? And Lucius? And Severus? And Bellatrix? And Theodore? And Rabastan, and Rodolphus? And Narcissa? And Astoria? Slytherin names rock.

In summary, go Slytherin.

Harry Potter; My ships (non canon). Warning: Slashy slashy slash.

Harry/Draco. Yes, in the oh-so-girly *squeal* kind of way.
Harry/Tom Riddle. I have a fascination with this pairing. It is just the best. Just, for one second, close your eyes and imagine it. Not by looks, if you want, but by personality. Two abused boys, so alike, yet so different, one dark, and one steadfastly light. Works, no?
Severus/Lucius. It just works. Think about it.
Severus/Remus. Just thought it was sweet.
Severus/Lily. The story-line just makes me cry. And I can't have that. So I fix it with a pairing.
Sirius/Remus. 'Embraced like brothers' my ass.
Sirius or Remus or James./Sirius or Remus or James. I mean, come on. You can't not pair them all off with each other.
Oliver W./Cedric D. Really sweet in my opinion.
Seamus F./ Dean T. Make a cute couple, no?

Harry Potter; Character-bashing. Be prepared to be offended:-

Albus D. Personally can't stand the old fool. So. Many. Faults. My brain just committed suicide, it was so ashamed of holding these faults in itself.
Ron W. He's an alright guy but I haven't forgiven him for fourth year. Probably never will. I mean jeez, have a little faith, you jealous prat.
Rubeus H. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy. But he's an idiot and I don't understand why Dumbles trusted him to get the Philosopher's Stone.
Peter P. Oddly enough his name looks like Peter Pan. Huh. JK Rowling, are you insinuating anything? Probably not. Anyway, who does like the rat?
Dursleys. Prats.
Cho C. I just dislike her.
Umbridge. Pink. Need I say more?
Gilderoy L. He's funny because he's a prat but I dislike him because he's a prat. Hmm.

Harry Potter; Awesome Characters. Albus Dumbledore, beware.

Tom Riddle Jr. First and foremost he is just awesome. And I love dark wizards. And snakes. And the whole idea of Voldemort. And in my mentally insane Potterverse, Tommy is my father. Not in a 'Luke, I am your father' kind of way, just in a 'Hi, Dad' as I pop into Riddle Manor to get a packet of crisps (potato chips for Americans) and see him torturing Wormy or some Muggle.
Harry Potter. To be amazingly contradictory. I just like the whole idea of Harry. Everything about him (except that angsty bit in fifth year) just screams awesome.
Barty Crouch Jr. Stand up and applaud this awesome, cute, insane, perfect-match-for-me man. Go on. You know you want to. Just, freaking, love him. The lip-licking thing. OH. In. Freaking. Love. I could ramble for a while.
Ah-Draco Malfoy. Sorry for the Ah-. Force of habit. Ever seen AVPM? You should. It's on YouTube. Go look. Anywho, Draco is just the epitome of slightly cowardly but nonetheless awesome Slytherin pureblood coolness. And he is totally awesome. And lives near me. *swoon really girlishly. Wow, that's a word? I was not aware of that.* Sorry, I'm rambling. I told you I was insane. Draco is the most SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot person to grace this planet other than me and JK Rowling. And Tommy. And Harry. And Sevvy-wev. And Pretty Boy Junior. (Barty.)
Severus Snape. Alan Rickman rocked this character and deserves every single Emmy ever. He is just the best person ever. Severus fucking Snape, I want to give you a hug (and then laugh at your reaction). Please never ever leave my mind. Even when I'm, like, 100. I'll remember you. And smile. Ob-viously.
All the Death Eaters except Wormtail. True, they're spineless boot-lickers, but that's just how I like my minions to be honest. Death Eaters, keep on doing what you're doing, and try not to get killed in the process.
Lucius Milloy (sorry, Malfoy. AVPM.) Character is just freakin' awesome. I love that you have a pimp cane. I love that you are blonde. I love your creepy pureblooded-ness. I love that you're the right-hand-man of Father (ahem, Voldemort).
Remus Lupin. Werewolves are just the best. And you look like a sandy-haired Hitler which is odd. And I can always ask him 'Are you fucking Sirius?'. It never gets old.
Sirius Black. This man is GOLD. And silver. And bronze. And pretty much everything in between. So, yeah.
Percival W. Have you seen him with bed hair? If not, you should see him with bed hair.
James and Lily Potter. Sweetest pairing ever. Kind of. Okay, sweetest canon pairing ever.
Blaise Zabini. Genderless until the movies. You rock.
Oliver Wood (heh, Wood). Just too cool.

And the many others that I have temporarily forgotten in my slightly more insane than normal state.

Tick, Tock, by both Doctor Who and Mischievous Curiosity


Tick tock goes the clock
And what now shall we play?

Tick tock goes the clock
Now summer’s gone away?

Tick tock goes the clock
And what then shall we see?

Tick tock until the day
That thou shalt marry me...

Tick tock goes the clock
And all the years they fly...

Tick tock and all too soon
You and I must die...

Tick tock goes the clock
We laughed at fate and mourned her...

Tick tock goes the clock
Even for the Doctor...

Tick tock goes the clock
He cradled her and he rocked her...

Tick tock goes the clock
Even for the Doctor…


Tick tock, went the clock,
Bar and lock and prison key…

Tick tock, went the clock,
Blackened hopes and insanity…

Tick tock, went the clock,
A bloody river flows through halls…

Tick tock, went the clock,
Dreams and sky are low and small…

Tick tock, went the clock,
Light and Fae always fear…

Tick tock, went the clock,
For Darkness keeps the demons here…

Thank you, both of you! Esp. Mischievous Curiosity, you genius!

My Happy Place :)

Whenever I'm sad, or tired, or cold, or lonely, or just fucking bored (A* Science coursework not cutting it for you? Me neither) I escape to my little happy (Potter) place. Kudos to Joan Rowling, for creating possibly the best world, ever. Okay, so get this:

My name in my slightly over-complicated Potterverse is Evelyn Myhki Riddle. No prizes for guessing who my father is. Evelyn is just a name I like, because I'm British and middle-class like that. (EV-e-lin, not EEV-lin). I made up the name Myhki. Fuck, I don't even know how it's pronounced. Mee-key? Mih-key? Eh, I just bashed my head against the keyboard and came up with that.

Completely opposite to how I actually look I have black hair with red highlights, and very pale skin, and black eyes with a red tint. (Cliche, I know. AK me.) I'm very punk - a little of my true self leaking through - and listen to rock music a lot. (Green Day, P!ATD, MCR, etc.) I'm a halfblood, and do like Muggles, surprisingly. I own many weapons (guns) and have an iPhone (Despite the fact it's 1991) and a flatscreen TV in my room in the Slytherin dorms. I smoke on occasion, and drink Firewhiskey a lot, despite the fact that I'm only eleven.

I am ridiculously intelligent. Just because I aspire to be that clever in real life. And when I say 'intelligent', I mean Sherlock Holmes intelligent. Yeah. Moving on.

My father is, quite obviously, Tom Riddle, aka Voldemort. I practice Dark Magic, and am quite sadistic. My mom abandoned me at two months old, and I was found again by Severus and Lucius, who took me to Tom.

I have one brother, by magic - Harry Potter. (Sorry, I have fallen, once again, into the cliche category. I just can't resist Dark!Harry, and he'd make such a cute baby brother. And anyway, it's my Happy Place, so screw you.) Basically, it's a long and complicated magical process that happens by Magick and wizards can't control it. Long story short, it's called a familial bond, and it means we're like Gred and Forge, we can communicate telepathically so can do the thing when you speak at the same time and with alternating clauses, and do everything together, except it's, like, legal. So we can, like, enter the Triwizard Tournament together. Not like that's going to happen now...

Naturalich, I'm a parselmouth, and have a black six-foot Runespoor snake familiar called Thanatos. Look the name up if y' want. I openly speak parseltongue, creeping all the students out in the process. I also have a black cat with green eyes called Emrys. (Myrddin Emrys. Merlin.) (Update) As of now I also have a dark green cat with silver eyes called Loki.

Okay, insert the GODAWFUL CROSSOVERS. Doctor Who+Sherlock. Yup. Woo. Essentially, I live in 221A, in a relationship with practically all of them at one point or another, and also 'part-time partner' to the Doctor (10th and 11th). Yeah... we go round the universe blowing up shit. Alright, moving on.

-I know, I have created a Mary Sue -_- It pisses me off too, but I am a megalomaniac and need to be perfect. Apologies.-

I've only imagined up to October in my first year - 70 pages, I ramble - but have a basic idea of all the years. Oh, I'm in a room in Slytherin with Draco, and Harry. Draco's my left hand man, Harry my right and I'm the leader. Sorry, I obsess over my Potterverse, as it's the place i go to to escape reality.

And that's my Happy Place. Basically.

1. Your regular first name: Evelyn

2. Your Nobody name (take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an 'x' where you think it should go) : Leyxven

3. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus 'izzle') : Eveizzle. Doesn't work, does it?

4. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Blood Red Serpent. Cliché, but alright.

5. Your Soap Opera name (your middle name and the street you live on) : Myhki Griffin. Merlin, I sound like a douche. And a Gryffindor. They're synonymous though.

6. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name and first two letters of your first name): Ridev.

7. Your Super Hero Name (second fav. color and fav. drink) : Silver Coffee. Alright?

8. Your Witness Protection name (parents middle name) : Lucia Marvolo. Lovele-fucking-ly.

9. Your Goth name (black plus the name of one of your pets) : Green Emrys. Heh, cool.


1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Are We The Waiting - Green Day, American Idiot OBC.

Waking Up: A Town Called Hypocrisy - Lostprophets

First Day of School: There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey - Panic! At The Disco

Falling In Love: The Only Exception - Paramore

Fight Song: Saint Jimmy - American Idiot OBC

Breaking Up: American Idiot - Green Day

Prom Night: This is Hallowe'en - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Life: Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore

Mental Breakdown: Nine in the Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco

Driving: Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance

Flashback: I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

Getting Back Together: Mr. Brightside - The Killers

Wedding: Viva La Gloria, Little Girl - Green Day

Birth of a Child: Extraordinary Girl - Green Day, American Idiot the Musical

Final Battle: Rooftops - Lostprophets

Funeral Song: Memories - Panic! At The Disco

Final Credits: Whatsername - Green Day

Can't believe I did one of these

Fill in #s 1-12 with names of people from your favorite characters and answer the questions. You can mix shows or not. Your choice.

1. Severus Tobias Snape

2. Harry James Potter

3. Percival Weasley

4. Tom Marvolo Riddle

5. Draco Lucius Malfoy

6. Lucius Malfoy

7. Fred George Weasley

8. George Fred Weasley

9. Remus Freakin' Lupin (who can't sing)

10. James Potter

11. Cedric 'Sparkly Emo Vampire' Diggory

12. 'Are you fucking' Sirius Orion Black

Ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Luscious and Cedric? That would have to be an abusive story. Or something Death Eater-y like that.

Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Tom Marvolo Riddle? Hot? Are you fucking Sirius? He is... just... holy crap on a cracker he is pretty fit. I wuv yoo Tom Riddle. Well, I shouldn't, because that would kill you. But, hey.

What would happen if Three got Four pregnant?

Percival Weasley got Tom Riddle pregnant... riiight. That would be one hell of a fanfiction.

Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Remy? Quite a lot. Yeah. Especially Sirius/Remus. Remus usually tops. Though I think it's quite an equal relationship. I can see both of them topping. Yeah.

Would Two and Eleven make a good couple?

Harry/Cedric? There have been a lot of fics about them as a pairing. But I, personally, don't like it.

Five/Eight or Five/Ten?

Draco/George or Draco/James Potter. On one hand, there's Draco/George, which is alright, actually, but George is Sinead's babe. So. Yeah. On the other, there's Draco/James Potter, which I DO NOT see happening, at all.
So Draco/George.

What would happen if One walked in on Five and Six having sex?

Severus walks in on Lucius and his motherfucking son having sex? That. Is. Lovely. :(
I think he would lose all sanity and either a) join in, b) kill them both or c) run home and sit in the shower scrubbing himself and muttering 'Dirty, always dirty...'

Make up a summary of a Seven/Eight fic.

Gred and Forge? TWINCEST! Alright!
George is broken without his lover and as he stands on the Astronomy Tower after the Battle of Hogwarts, wiping tears away from his eyes, he remembers their love, and braces himself for the fall that will reunite Fred and he forever...

Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

I would be extremely creeped out if there was a Sevvie/George fluff fic. Extremely creeped out. I wouldn't be more creeped out if I walked into a room and saw ol' Snake Face and Dumbledore having sex. Proper, dirty, yaoi, smutty butt sex.

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Once in a Ginger Moon. Fred/Remus

What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

That is lovely. Euughh. Daddy and Uncle Sev... :(. Ah, alright. It's, like, 1979, so Voldemort looks like a FTAS Tom, and Sevvie is about 20 and rather cute.
Voldemort asks Severus to stay behind after a Death Eater meeting. Sex ensues.

What might Three scream at a moment of great passion?

Either 'Cornelius!' or 'Ah, Minister!'

If you wrote a song fic about One, what song would you choose?

For Sevvie? The Ghost of You. Or I'm Not Okay. That one's kinda angsty. My Chemical Romance suits Sev.

If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fanfic, what would the warning be?

Severus/Lucius/Sirius? Probably graphic slash for Sevvie/Lucy and then graphic comedy for Sirius.

What might be a good pick-up line for One to use on Two?

Snarry? Sev doesn't really seem like a 'pick up line' kinda guy. But...
Want me to show you how to brew a lubrication potion? I can help you use it...

What would happen if One woke you up in the middle of the night?

Sevvie wouldn't dare waken the Heir of the Dark. I would probably Crucio him out of reflex or something. In some way, he would feel pain.
His fault for waking me up.

What would happen/ what would you do if Three walked into the bathroom while you were showering?

Percival? Avada him. Out of reflex.
Still his fault.

Four announced he/she' going to marry Nine tomorrow?

That is... rather odd. Tom Lupin? Or Remus Riddle? Heh, the latter sounds better.

Five cooked you dinner?

Draco made me dinner? N'aww, my little boy.

How would you react if Eight got into the hospital somehow?

Wouldn't be surprised - George is always fucking around.

Nine made fun of your friends?

Why would Remy do that? Oh, it must be his 'time of the month'.

Ten ignored you all the time?

James Potter's dead. It's quite hard for a dead guy to ignore someone alive. They're dead.

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What would One do?

Sev? Turn around and glare at them, making them feel like two first-years that just cocked up a Wiggenweld potion. Dunderheads.

You're on vacation with Two and suddenly manage to break your leg. What does Two do?

Heal me. Magic, duh. And he's my brother, wha'dya expext?

It's your birthday. What does Three get you?

Detention for bad behaviour. Oh, Percival.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does Four do?

Dad (Tom Riddle) would move heaven and earth to get me out of there... (a simple Aguamenti would have sufficed)

You're about to do somehting that will make you extremely embarrassed. What will Five do?

Draco? Do it for me. When I tell him to.

You're about to marry Ten. What does One think?

Severus would be more than a little creeped out. James Potter? Siriusly? He's already dead. And married.

You got dumped. How will Seven cheer you up?

Help me prank the dumper. :)

Which number do you think is the hottest?

All of them except Percival. :)

What's your favorite couple?

Harry/Severus. Harry/Tom Riddle. Harry/Draco. Remus/Sirius. Lucius/Severus. Not necessarily in that order.

In Remembrance:

In Remembrance to Severus Snape,
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,

In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
Who fought bravely to the very end,
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,
With many jokes,
He's got forever to think of them, right?

In Remembrance to Dobby,
Who was more free and full of love,
Than any elf, and most humans.

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
The last real Marauder,
Who was not just a wonderful father,
An incredible husband and a brave hero,
As well as an awesome warewolf,

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
Who died for the greater good,
And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,

In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,

In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,

In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
Whose past and wisdom confused us,
Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,
She deserved everything she got in the end,

In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
Who we really didn't know too well,
But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,
So he must've done something good...
Besides stalking Harry,

In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
Who lived and died soaring.

Promise to Remember

I promise to remember Harry,
When someone grows up with no love.

I promise to remember Ron,
When someone is jealous.

I promise to remember Hermione,
When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years.

I promise to remember James and Lily,
when someone dies before their time.

I promise to remember Dumbledore,
At the thought of the greater good.

I promise to "Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good",
for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course.

I promise to remember Moony,
And fight for human rights.

I promise to remember Snape,
When my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Narcissa,
When I'd do anything for family.

I promise to remember Dora Tonks,
When someone is hyper.

I promise to remember Hedwig,
who lived and died soaring.

I promise to remember Percy,
When ambition gets the best of me.

I promise to be careful,
For Moody's sake, of course.

I promise to remember Hagrid,
When one is wrongly blamed.

I promise to remember Neville,
when I stand up for what is right.

I promise to remember the Marauders,
When a friend says "Call me and I'll be there."

Yes I promise that I will remember Harry Potter.

The Tale of the Three Brothers

The First Brother
The oldest brother, who was a combative man, asked for a wand more powerful than any existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered Death! So Death crossed to an elder tree on the banks of the river, fashioned a wand from a branch that hung there, and gave it to the oldest brother.
The first brother sought out a fellow wizard, with whom he had a quarrel. Naturally, with the Elder Wand as his weapon, he could not fail to win the duel that followed. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor, the oldest brother boasted loudly of the powerful wand he had snatched from Death itself, and of how it made him invincible.
That very night, another wizard crept upon the oldeset brother as he lay upon his bed. The thief took the wand, and, for good measure, slit the oldest brother's throat.
And so Death took Tom Riddle for his own - the one who died for power.

The Second Brother
The second brother asked for the power to recall others from Death. So Death picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to the secoond brother, and told him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead.
The second brother lived alone. He took out the stone that had the poer to recall the dead and turned it thrice in his hand. To his amazement and his delight, the figure of the girl he had once hoped to marry before her untimely death appeared at once before him. Yet she was silent and cold, separated from him as though by a veil. Though she had returned to the mortal world, she did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally, the second brother, driven mad with hopeless longong, killed himself soo as truly to join her.
And so Death took Severus Snape for his own - the one who died for lost love.

The Third Brother
The youngest brother was the humblest and also the wisest of the brothers, and he did not trust Death. So he asked for something that would enable him to go forth from that place without being followed by Death. And Death, most unwillingly, handed over his own Cloak of Invisibility.
But though Death searched for the second brother for many years, he was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son.
And then Harry Potter greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, as equals, they departed this life.

The One Who Died For Power:
'But then, Potter, Dumbledore as good as gave me the wand!' Voldemort’s voice shook with malicious pleasure. 'I stole the wand from its last master’s tomb! I removed it against its last master’s wishes! Its power is mine!'

The One Who Died For Lost Love:
'After all this time?' 'Always,' said Snape.

The One Who Greeted Death Like An Old Friend:
'I open at the close'. Breathing fast and hard, he stared down at it. Now that he wanted time to move as slowly as possible, it seemed to have sped up, and understanding was coming so fast it seemed to have bypassed thought. This was the close. This was the moment. He pressed the golden metal to his lips and whispered, 'I am about to die.'

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
i have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. (Or you're Severus)
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

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Regrets and Mistakes by Welwitschia reviews
Dumbledore is good. So why is he not worried when news comes of Harry's abuse? As new regrets and mistakes rein, Dumbledore will find an enemy where he least expects it, and a new mysterious presence on the Dark side will bring fear and change to the war. UP FOR ADOPTION. See profile for info.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,379 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 10/10/2011 - Harry P.
Slytherin Day's by Madrea Salazar Riddle reviews
The different story of Harry Potter's life if the sorting hat put him in Slytherin.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,247 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 7/30/2014 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Harry P.
Greenscales by MoonlightDragon777 reviews
A seven year old Harry runs away from his aunt and uncle with his pet and familiar, Greenscales. Voldemort adopts him and he attends Durmstrang under a different name. Dark/light hating Harry. Rating because of mention of abuse and because I'm paranoid.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,648 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 12/26/2011 - Harry P.
Alone On the Water by MadLori reviews
Sherlock is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Warning: angst like whoa.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,210 - Reviews: 5498 - Favs: 12,678 - Follows: 1,625 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
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Ramblings of a Cynical Brat reviews
Harry Potter dies, aged 203. Quite willingly so, too. But then he meets Death, who makes him do it all over again - not that he wants to. Second chance story with a twist. Humor, loads of non-graphic slash, sarcastic!powerful!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,668 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 339 - Updated: 1/12/2012 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Harry P.
Innocent Insanity reviews
Harry Potter wondered if he was insane. He decided that yes, he was. He wondered why he didn't consider becoming insane sooner. Dark!Harry Oneshot, slight violence. No pairings. Very short, just off the top of my head. Flames are welcome.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 893 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Harry P. - Complete