10 WAYS TO BE S-T-U-P-I-D
1. Ask For Directions To A Place You're Already At.
How to annoy your parents.
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
 I need to tell you a secret. First, look at number 5.
Things to do on an Elevator
. Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
this is this cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on (or at least, smiling)
Boy: At last, I can hardly wait!
Aftermarriage (read it backwards
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Will teach me how to drive
FRIENDS: Will go to the concert with me
FRIENDS: Will hide me from the cops
FRIENDS: Will let me make a fool of myself in public
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness wi
"Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs."
"The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm OK. But thinking I'm OK because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy."
"I'm not clumsy, I'm gravitationally challenged."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you."
"If you love someone set them free! If they don't come back, hunt them down and kill them."
"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."
"I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!"
"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives."
"Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it."
"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."
"Safety first! Buckle your seat belts and prepare for an accident!"
"I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops."
"Eagles soar, but weasels don't get sucked into airplane engines."
"If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?"
"Death is life's way of telling you that you're fired."
"Girls kick ass. Says so on the t-shirt."
"The only infinite things are the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the first one."
"You spend the first two years of your child's life teaching them to walk and talk, then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up."
"The real proof that there's intelligent life out there is because they've never tried to contact us."
"Some people are like slinkies; useless, but entertaining to watch as they fall down stairs."
"Whoever says nothing's impossible should try nailing jello to a tree."
"I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'."
"I know Karate.. And a few other Japanese words!"
"If you choke a smurf, does it turn white?"
"I'm a video game-player, so I must be lazy. I'm artistic, so I must be poor and impractical. I'm talented, so I must think little of people who aren't. I'm smart, so I must have no social life. I'm popular, so I must be rude or stupid. I'm a teenager, so I must be stereotyped."
"DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!!"
It takes a few hundred, maybe a few thousand muscles to frown. But it only takes four to bitchslap the person who made you frown.
"Doctors say I have a multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."
"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
"Me- I'm so sorry guys!!
Palm reader: "-gasp- You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."
"You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass, and I can't."
To My Friends: when you laugh I laugh, when you cry, I cry. Even when you hurt, I hurt. But when you jump off a bridge, I laugh at you and get a paddle boat to save you."
"I'm sorry, but when you cry, I cry. When you laugh I laugh. When you slip and fall off the sidewalk, onto a muddy hill and slide down that, landing in a very deep puddle in the middle of January, I laugh harder."
"You know the trouble with an eye for an eye? Everybody ends up blind."
"She's been there: when I cry, when I get heart broken, when I laugh, whenever there's been rough times, when I'm mad, when I'm happy, when I'm jealous, when I'm crazy, when I'm down, when I'm sad, when I'm pretty, when I'm ugly...basically she's been through everything with me, and that's a girl I call: MY BEST FRIEND!!"
"I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday..."
"If people are laughing behind your back, it's because your ahead of them."
"You talk it, we live it, you're jealous, admit it."
"My friends rock. Your Jealous. End of Story."
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
I will temporarily rule the world, forever.
lottery: a tax on people who don’t understand statistics.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
The problem with reality is a lack of background music.
I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.
I know at least three people who would love to push me down the stairs.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
I'm the girl that when my feet touch the ground in the morning the devil says; "OH CRAP SHE'S UP!"
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 97% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DONT DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 3% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.
If you ever fell off a chair back wards copy this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. (God knows how many times that has happened to me)
98 of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 that is laughing your ass off.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
I promise to remember Annabeth
I promise to protect nature
I promise to remember Luke
I promise to remember Chiron
I promise to remember Tyson
I promise to remember Thalia
I promise to remember Clarisse
I promise to remember Bianca
I promise to remember Nico
I promise to remember Zoë
I promise to remember Rachel
Yes I promise to remember PJO
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason put this on your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever started reading FanFiction from the moment you come home from school at four until 4 am when your mother threatens to donate your computer to a charity shop, copy and paste this on to your profile.
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
If you've ever run into something big and obvious in public, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever laughed at something that really wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're a bookworm and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever ran into a glass door because you thought it was open, copy and paste this to your profile
Superstitions Below. You can ignore them if you want.
Ignore this. Very Superstitious and I read this on the internet so...
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu,"as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
there were 3girls
They were looking through peoples
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? The thing at the bottom said repost or die so just do it if you are as superstitious as me.
They Hurt Her
About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.
] Bob is building an army.
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