Poll: Which girl do you like better? Vote Now!
Author has written 12 stories for Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Legend of Korra, and Spectacular Spider-Man.
Welcome to my profile, enjoy
Well, it's been a while. I had some rough patches here (a big one when my grandma passed away on 8/29/13) so I can't say everything was perfect, but overall I'm very happy. I have some good friends, a special guy who is very kind to me, and I'm just happy.
So as in my last post, I've just done a lot of 'growing up' an got over myself on certain issues. I'm happy now, and I hope you all are too.
Funny how things work. Six months later on the dot I'm making an update, yet there are no suicidal tendencies to be found here. I've had one hell of a past couple of months, I'm pretty sure if I was the person I was only a year ago I'd have fresh bandages on my thigh if you catch my drift, but thank God I'm not. In a way, I just got over myself. As cheesy and ridiculous as it sounds, I realized I was just being whiny. I was throwing tantrums over a past I could not change and I was being angry at people for things they could not undo. I was swimming in regret and often going under, using razors as a way to wake myself up so I wouldn't swallow too much and drown.
Things are far from okay, both my grandparents are in the hospital (my grandma for chemo therapy for her pancreatic cancer and my grandfather for unexplained extreme abdominal pain) and my romantic life or lack of is a mess of missed opportunities and misinterpretations. The difference is I can just handle it better now. So bless and thank all of you have read, favorited, followed, and reviewed. While my writing is simply a hobby, you all gave me positive bursts on days I really needed them and gave me a little more confidence in myself. Thank you.
12.13.12 I'm not dead, just very very sick. A week ago I started feeling bad (cough, nausea, headaches, strong detachment from reality) and then the day after I just got really really sick. Add to that I was at a debate tournament (this is my first year doing debate) and I was bumped up to varsity for the first time which it about 20x as hard as novice and I was a mess. Then next day I was at home, bedridden and sleeping fitfully for three days straight. After staying home Tuesday and Wednesday I couldn't miss anymore work. I'm still sick, but I can't miss more work and I neeeeeeeeeeeed to starting writing again. Currently, I open the top document in my doc manager, attempt to write, get nothing, then go to the next document, and repeat. I'm trying, I swear.
11.4.12. Well, I'm officially a sucky writer. I know I haven't updated anything in 3 months, but I promise I not only haven't been sitting around but I also was extremely busy. Friends, school, family, and relationships have dominated all my time and things are just now slowing down. I hope to update my stories soon so please don't give up on me. If you'd like to continue reading, I'll explain why I was so damn busy. Friends: I lost a couple friends due to jealousy and bitterness over stupid things, but then worked things out and became friends with them again as well as gained some new friends. Also, one of my friends is going through a really difficult time right now so I'm her crutch at the moment. School: My damn teachers/profesors are so stupid. Keep losing my work so my grade drops and then I have to re-do the assignment I actually did. Three of my teachers are like that so having to re-do assignments in all those classes takes a lot of time. Family: Same problems as always my grandma is not getting better. Relationships: I've had a sudden rush of romance and had a short relationship as well as have been asked out a couple times. I don't know what happened, but all the sudden romance has thrown me for a loop and now I'm the one interested in someone else. It's kinda getting crazy. If you've gotten this far, thank you for listening and I wish you a beautiful and happy day/night/life.
8.16.12. What a wonderful world! (No sarcasm!) Between Speech and Debate camp where I got a ton of compliments from my coaches especially in impromptu, playing really well at soccer, and finding my dancing buddy, today was just amazing. Alright, story time! So I was at a red light and, being me, dancing along to some song by Ne yo to annoy my mom, a funny black guy on the street corner with groceries in his hands started dancing with me. It was awesome and just made me laugh so hard. I also learned that the song "Like a G6" will be my children's lullaby some day when my friend at soccer was humming a lullaby and I just started dancing 'like a gangster' and rapping that song so she decided that would be my future children's lullaby. Anyways, if you're here, thanks for reading and hope your life is filled with happiness and success!
7.19.12. I was doing really well up until the 17th. I was high off life again, getting back my soccer skills, hanging with my friends that I love so much, and feeling so free from the past that has always held me back because I fear repeating it. Now, I'm back in that state where I'll be fine and then I'll just feel absolutely lost and like a waste of air. If I'm not around others (I can't cry around others, unless in severe physical pain, around others) I'll just drop my head in my hands and sob. I've been here before and I'm so scared of relapsing or moving on to a worse addiction. My grandma has just been diagnosed with cancer and that really rocked my world. Made me realize how few years people live and brought me back to the idea of dying when I'm ahead of the game at a young age. Fuck it, I'm tired and I need to try and get back on my feet. If you're here, thanks for listening and I wish a life of happiness upon you.
6.29.12. Doing pretty well, still not sleeping well but at least I'm having less flashbacks. My friends have been wonderful about knowing when I need to get out of the house and have dressed me up nicely so that when I look in the mirror I barely recognize myself. I've been doing a ton of soccer, specifically a boot camp that was pretty d*mn difficult. I'm feeling extremely loved from seeing my number of reviews so THANK YOU SO MUCH to all my reviewers/readers. You are all amazing!
5.18.12. Damn, I'm back in a funk. I've been getting flashbacks almost daily and sleeping 2-5 hours a night because of nightmares that leave me too scared to go back to sleep. I'm still struggling with the whole 'I can talk to my best friends and they will care' thing, but I like knowing if I really need to they'll be there for me. I've never had that before so it means the world to me. Also, soccer is pretty good right now and I just graduated physical therapy today (apparently as long as my hip stays in place I won't need to go back either) but I still get pain from some of the drills. My p.t. guy said that was normal though, so *shrug*. I was in the managing stories tab and say I 45 reviews on my story 'Call My Name' and it just made me so happy. I'm getting into writing regulary so hopefully my updates will be faster. If you've read all the way to here thanks so much for listening to me bitch about my life and have a fantactic day because you deserve it!
4.28.12. I think I'm updating this too often, but whatever. I had a pretty damn good week! I made the soccer team I've been freaking out about for the past six months, got my braces off, and my brother has been gone. Only bad, I pulled my hip out of place which was fucking painful! My mom told me to quit bitching, but it just hurt so much and then she finally took me in and the physical therapy dude (it ended up my back was hurting because the hip was out of place screwing with the surrounding muscles a.k.a. my back and thigh) used my muscles to shift it back into place which was also rather uncomfortable, but with stretching it should stay in place.
4.20.12. I am going back to physical therapy for my back and I'm scared about my scars showing and I've just being having an extra bad past couple weeks with my family. Mainly my brother. Me looking up to him completely makes it harder when he tells me to kill myself so I'm struggling. On the positive side, I've got some fun social stuff coming up so I'm kinda excited about that. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy my writing!
4.7.12. Alrighty. I like the kind of journal updates people do on their profiles, so I'm gonna start doing them (and hopefully I will continue to do them)! Anyways, after a month sober/clean (not sure which term fits better) I relapsed so right now I'm pretty bummed and I'm trying to find something so cheer myself up again. The search isn't going too great but whatever. Also...oh yeah! My leg finally healed after eight months of being perscribed to the couch (Literally. I wasn't allowed any activity. No running, sports, strenuous stretching...so basically that equals couch for me) I can finally play soccer again! WOOT! Alright, that kinda makes me feel better! Anyways, have a great day person who is reading this!
Anybody know any good mangas I should read? I've been looking for one to get hooked on. Please PM me suggestions!
Gaara/Sakura (If you like/love this pairing, look up the author Celtic Oak. Celtic Oak has the most amazing GaaSaku fanfics I've ever read.)
Shikamaru/Temari (Is that their pairing name?)
Draco/Hermione (If you like/love THIS pairing, look up Kyra4. Kyra4 does a fantastic job of keeping the characters in character while creating beautiful stories. She is the goddess of Dramione fics!)
“I can explain myself: If you want to be safe, walk in the middle of the street. I’m not joking. You’ve been told to look both ways before crossing the street, and the sidewalk is your friend, right? Wrong. I’ve spent years walking sidewalks at night. I’ve looked around me when it was dark, when there were men following me, creeping out of alleyways, attempting to goad me into speaking to them and shouting obscenities at me when I wouldn’t, and I suddenly realised that the only place left to go was the middle of street. But why would I risk it? Because the odds are in my favour. In the States, someone is killed in a car accident on average every 12.5 minutes, while someone is raped on average every 2.5 minutes. Even when factoring in that, one, I am generously including ALL car-related accidents and not just those involving accidents, and two, that the vast majorities of rapes still go unreported […] And, thus, this is now the way I live my life: out in the open, in the middle of everything, because the middle of the street is actually the safest place to walk.” Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and a understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." (I got this quote from a friend on mine on here TheBlackRose123. She has taken a leave for a little while, but definitely look at what she has.) - Elizabeth Kubler Ros
NOTE IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ ONE OF MY STORIES: Almost all of my stories contain abuse, rape, and/or suicide. Please don't read if those things are triggering.