canarian
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Joined 11-23-11, id: 3457326, Profile Updated: 10-25-12
Author has written 13 stories for Torchwood, and Glee.

I promise at some point I'll finish "Why is it Always So Cold in Wales?" But right now I'm too obsessed with Glee to focus on Torchwood. At least from a writing perspective. Torchwood requires so much more focus to write. Anyway, all of that to say I haven't abandoned it.

I go by randomactsofdouchebaggery over on Tumblr because someone stole my name.

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Go Your Own Way by Zavocado reviews
Kurt Hummel just wants to get through his Junior Year at McKinley in one piece. But when the new guy from Dalton Academy Reform School for Boys takes an alarming interest in him, he's certain he's going to be in for a wild ride. Badboy!Blaine, Klaine, AU
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 30 - Words: 201,863 - Reviews: 4052 - Favs: 5,420 - Follows: 3,770 - Updated: 4/24 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Roses in December by ckofshadows reviews
In a cozy coffee shop in a small town, a boy with beautiful blue eyes sits at the same table every day, as if he's waiting for something, or someone. Blaine feels strangely compelled to sit down and talk with him… and discovers the unimaginable.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 100,477 - Reviews: 4355 - Favs: 2,997 - Follows: 4,468 - Updated: 12/1/2014 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H.
Lessons in Being a Man by Whatsername Lambert reviews
Kurt is a beloved music teacher and, along with partner Dave Karofsky, proud father to 6-year-old Ellie. Blaine, his best friend, is a young Chicago lawyer who unwillingly becomes the leader of a statewide gay rights movement. When Kurt and Ellie's home life turns violent as a result of Dave's alcoholism, Blaine opens up his home to them. Brief Kurtofsky, Klaine later. Future fic.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 333,400 - Reviews: 1633 - Favs: 1,163 - Follows: 1,273 - Updated: 2/4/2013 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Bites by Foxxed reviews
Kurt Hummel is a Chef de Cuisine with a tongue as sharp as his knife. But when the restaurant across the street finally opens, Kurt is confronted with an old culinary school rival - the always smiling and opera-singing Italian Chef Blaine Anderson and things are about to heat up faster than the average stove.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 37,185 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 11/21/2012 - Published: 9/17/2012 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Perfect by hanabananana reviews
AU-Kurt is a Genetically Engineered and Modified Life Form. He was created artificially by scientists and is used as a guinea pig for their research in genes and gene technology; their aim being to create the perfect set of genes to auction off to the world. Kurt is their first prototype, his only responsibility to be as close to perfection as possible. Until he meets Blaine.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 45,364 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 45 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
What is Essential is Invisible to the Eye by Prothrombintime reviews
Jack and Ianto's epic journey, from the beginning to the end... and beyond. Spoilers for everything. Canon compliant, including selected books, audio books, and radio plays, through Children of Earth… with a twist.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 200 - Words: 426,777 - Reviews: 1692 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 6/15/2012 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Sideways by CrissColferL0ve reviews
Blaine is the most popular kid at school, he's also a bully. Kurt is the new kid and the victim of the football team, but bullying somebody doesn't necessarily mean you won't end up liking them, even if you try your best not to. Rated M for later
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 37 - Words: 203,900 - Reviews: 1641 - Favs: 1,695 - Follows: 989 - Updated: 3/7/2012 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Queen takes knight's pawn by Angstosaur reviews
A dangerous alien artifact has been stolen from the Hub by renegades from Torchwood London who are up to no good and Jack has no alternative but to put Ianto in extreme danger. Sequel to Magwitch. There will be A/N for chapters containing sex etc.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 60 - Words: 102,984 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/22/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - [Ianto J., Jack H.] [Gwen C., Rhys W.] - Complete
Once In A Lullaby by arainymonday reviews
On his way to Dalton to spy on the Warblers Kurt is transported to another world where all lost things end up. There he meets Blaine and gets a chance to find himself again. An AU Season 2 modern fantasy.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 68 - Words: 163,681 - Reviews: 795 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 1/18/2012 - Published: 11/14/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
The Tailor's Son by riftintime reviews
Lonely, sombre, twenty year old Ianto Jones is struggling to continue his late father's legacy, when a confident, handsome, older man suddenly enters his life. Can they overcome their differences and find happiness together? Jack/Ianto AU.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 90,635 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 11/12/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
All's Well That Ends Well by thephonesarentworking reviews
After Lisa's death at Canary Wharf, Ianto Jones travels the Universe as a mercenary. But after UNIT's request that he return to Earth, will Ianto settle, especially when he once again meets his fiancées killer? Some Ianto/Lisa, later Janto.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,094 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/2/2012 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H.
Coffee Break by firesnap reviews
Gwen and Ianto steal a few minutes to chat and make plans.
Torchwood - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,199 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/25/2011 - Ianto J., Gwen C. - Complete
Magwitch by Angstosaur reviews
Someone's been experimenting on weevils and the results could be fatal for Ianto. This fic was originally posted elsewhere 3 years ago - it is complete. Chapters containing scenes of a sexual nature are described as such at the start of the chapter.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 42 - Words: 80,978 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 10/9/2011 - [Ianto J., Jack H.] [Gwen C., Rhys W.] - Complete
Trust Issues by JolinarJackson reviews
After Torchwood One falls, Ianto Jones escapes with a half-converted cyberwoman, but UNIT catches them. Months later, Jack Harkness lets himself talk into taking over custody of Jones, not knowing that he's inviting trouble into his base.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,002 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
You Gave Me Meaning Again by Barrowman-ILove reviews
Torchwood through the eyes of everyone's favourite tea-boy - Ianto Jones. It's about time we get to hear how things went from Ianto's perspective. Written in 1st person, but primarily from Ianto's view on things . A Jack/Ianto story.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,725 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/12/2011 - Published: 11/21/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H.
Haute Couture by LPBekka reviews
In the year 1889 a young fashion designer by the name of Blaine Anderson is about to meet the love of his life, the most beautiful woman in Paris only to discover that she is not all she seems. Klaine, Warning: Lemon, Cross Dressing, AU
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 155,140 - Reviews: 1026 - Favs: 697 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 12/3/2011 - Published: 7/9/2011 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Cufflinks by firesnap reviews
After stopping the end of the world, Rhys and Jack could at least agree on one thing. Set after CoE.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,030 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/16/2011 - Jack H., Rhys W. - Complete
Against These Fragments by Amberssister reviews
Jack and Ianto's relationship from start to finish. Multi-chapter. Angst, fluff, some things that are decidedly not fluff, and much in between. Warnings for language and major spoilers for the whole series. CHAPTER 13 RATED SLIGHT M.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,792 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J.
When the Stars Turn Blue by riftintime reviews
Jack Harkness leads a team of scientists to create a technology that may have profound and far-reaching consequences for humanity. But when he receives devastating news and a mysterious stranger enters his life, his concept of reality may change forever. Jack/Ianto AU.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 95,288 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Games We Play by firesnap reviews
Jack and Ianto have an in-cursion. Gin, lounging and annoying games follow.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,022 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Taboo by 2Padfoot00Moony7 reviews
That one word; that one conversation that's always been so taboo. What happens Ianto breaks the golden rule and brings it up? JANTO
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,189 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Just Remember by nothing-rhymes-with-ianto reviews
Post-CoE. After many a drunken stint, Jack sets his Vortex Manipulator coordinates on random. It takes him somewhere he doesn't want to go, but then he realizes he can save the ones he lost with just a sentence.
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 948 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Jack H. - Complete
What I Am, And What I Might Be by remuslives23 reviews
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.- Lao Tzu
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 45 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Manifest, with tea by analine reviews
Jack, Ianto, a rainy day, tea, and that which should be obvious. Jack/Ianto. One-shot; fluff.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 38 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Alone On the Water by MadLori reviews
Sherlock is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Warning: angst like whoa.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,210 - Reviews: 4978 - Favs: 11,470 - Follows: 1,303 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
You Shouldn't Be Here by Furious Dee reviews
What happens when two damaged souls collide amidst extraordinary surroundings? Jack and Ianto's story - their relationship from the start, and how I think it developed. Spoilers for everything. Rated a high T for slash, rising to M.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,433 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 2/19/2011 - Published: 9/5/2010 - Ianto J., Jack H.
An Important Gift for An Old Friend by nothing-rhymes-with-ianto reviews
The Doctor comes to Torchwood just after hearing Jack's anecdote about his childhood on the Boeshane Peninsula. He wants to give an old friend one last gift.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,811 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Ianto's Journey by Aviv b reviews
Ianto's life from just prior to joining TW1 through Season 2 and beyond. Non-canon, Not CoE compliant. Most chapters K to T, but overall rated M due to some more adult material later on. Involves the entire team, especially Ianto, Owen and Jack.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 100 - Words: 226,016 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Best Served Hot by figaro2 reviews
The Master is out for revenge against Jack for interfering in his plans.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,311 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/6/2010 - Published: 11/6/2009 - 10th Doctor, Jack H. - Complete
Intersecting Geodesics by Nancy Brown reviews
Stuck in the wrong time with a Jack who hasn't met him yet, all Ianto really wants is a way home.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 39,049 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Take The Risk by Dru reviews
Alternate ending to 'Adam', Ianto finds out the risks of retcon. Co-written with Qualli
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 33,387 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Ianto J. - Complete
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Carnival Glass reviews
One dish can change everything. Klaine meet-cute.
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,054 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/9/2014 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
A Look That's Made For You reviews
Blaine Anderson is about to turn 30, and if he has to design one more logo for another small, quaint, but, you know, edgy-retro cupcake shop, he's going to fling himself off his 10-story office building. That is until an art director books a gorgeous male model who is just a few inches too short.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,336 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 6/23/2014 - Published: 12/27/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Gilded Cage reviews
In the winter of 1895, Blaine Anderson, the son of a wealthy doctor, and Kurt Hummel, the son of a middle class mechanic, cross paths at a luxury hotel in the quiet seaside town of St. Augustine, Florida. With everyone and everything working to keep them apart, can they find a way to be together?
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 155,303 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 10/27/2013 - Published: 5/23/2013 - Blaine A., Kurt H., Quinn F., Burt H. - Complete
Just Friends reviews
Did you hear? Kurt and Blaine are just friends. A series of reaction ficlets to 4x14 "I Do."
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,757 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 5/10/2013 - Published: 2/16/2013 - Blaine A., Kurt H.
Where the Boys Are reviews
Sam and Blaine discuss boarding school shenanigans (and we find out they might have been planning that mash-up for a while). Takes place immediately after they break into Dalton to steal back ND Nationals trophy.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,548 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Blaine A., Sam E. - Complete
Warming Up reviews
After the debacle that was their trip to Lima to see the McKinley High production of Grease, Kurt decides that he and Rachel need to go out and have some fun to try to forget about their heartbreak.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,391 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/16/2012 - Kurt H., Rachel B.
Walk the Line reviews
AU where Blaine, who is 4 years older than Kurt and fresh out of college, comes to teach at McKinley. When Schue gets fired, Kurt asks Blaine to coach New Directions, but things get complicated when they discover their mutual attraction.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 83,613 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 10/24/2012 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
The Things That Are reviews
They get together in the end.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,232 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/16/2012 - Complete
The Simple Things Never Are reviews
There are two sides to every story. This one is Blaine's.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,736 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Blaine A., Burt H. - Complete
The Easy Things Never Are reviews
As it turns out, Kurt Hummel is ready to move forward.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/5/2012 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
When I Get You Alone reviews
AU in which Kurt never goes to spy on the Warblers. Kurt and Blaine first meet when Cooper takes his younger brother to a strip club on his 18th birthday. That evening, a chance encounter leads both boys down a path that is more than they bargained for.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 87,301 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 398 - Updated: 6/28/2012 - Published: 3/17/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
When the Smoke Clears reviews
Blaine comforts Kurt after he receives his rejection letter from NYADA.
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/22/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Why is it Always So Cold in Wales? reviews
Jack finds himself falling for Ianto after hiring him to Torchwood. When he recruits Gwen a few months later, Jack finds himself torn between his feelings for both. Told primarily from Jack's POV; canon-compliant, but I'm trying to fill in the gaps.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,458 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 12/17/2011 - Jack H., Ianto J.