I am aware fanfiction are a group of writers that are non professional. Knowing that, how about doing a bit of research before you add things in your story that either make no sense or you clearly did not think it through.(I just found out today that because it is Fanfiction, I should not expect facts. That I should go read something else if I want a story that is believeable. Sorry my bad.)
For now I am done reviewing stories because writers don't want anything but oh my god your story is wonderful reviews. I just had a female brit bitch because I said please research. A PhD takes a bit more than a year to get and I spent a whopping 20 seconds finding that out. It seems that was too much to ask. According to her I was arrogant and an ass. I figure if you are begging for reviews you should also be willing to accept criticism. I actually do some research to make sure I am not wrong before I let the writer know there is a mistake in their story.
I have a test for those that write how she could feel his breath as he stood close to her. Stick your hand in front of your nose and see how far away you can feel your own breath. Unless he was practically humping her, which at the precinct she would kill him, there is no way she is feeling his breath. Although there is an exception. If she is sitting and he is reading over her shoulder she might feel his breath. You know if he is hyperventilating. (laughs)
Even better than the breath is the body heat. Through Castle's clothes I could feel the warmth of his skin. Are you kidding? God what clichéd writing. I had pneumonia once with 104 fever and you couldn't feel my body heat without touching me. People write without thinking if it is possible. Although I guess if I refer to my first entry, this is fanfiction so why do I expect facts.
The Hampton's is not an hour away. Reminds me of the Mentalist when Patrick Jane drove to Malibu(a 6 1/2 hour drive from sacramento) in thirty minutes.
He stood a millimeter away from me. Do you have any idea how small one millimeter is?
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