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Joined 11-27-11, id: 3469091, Profile Updated: 01-20-12
Author has written 6 stories for Hunger Games, Assassin's Creed, Brink, Warhammer, Lord of the Rings, and Ranger's Apprentice.

My name is Jacob. I enjoy many books, video games, and movies. I like The Hunger Games, Assassin's Creed, Fallout 3, the Elder Scrolls series, Star Wars, Halo, Rangers Apprentice, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and the Inheritance series chiefly among them.

MY FORUM: http://www.fanfiction.net/myforums/jacob55smith/3469091/

Things to do When Bored in a Store

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

I must say I've done over half of the things there.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. LucilliaAL

Rules For Hogwarts:

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda

- I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

- The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it.

- It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

- "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

- Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey."

- I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs

- The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife with PMS

- "I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!"

- "So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead."

- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret

- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

- Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July...

- Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

- I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office

- I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

- Especially not with kazoos.

- The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

- Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden.

- There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".

...Even if I do conjure him up.

- Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

- The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

- Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

- I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins.

- I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

- I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me."

- Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas.

- No combination of these is acceptable.

- Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

- Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

- I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.

- I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever.

- If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change.

- I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.

- I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.

- I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.She asked if they would ask the man one question.She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

You know you live in 2011 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played Solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) You're shocked when you hear that people CAN actually survive without cable.

4.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or MySpace.

6.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

7.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

8.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

9.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

10.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

11.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

12.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Dear (the last person you talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but 1. I think I realized it 2 3 and I saw you 4 5. I'm sure you're 6 enough to understand 7. I'm returning 8 to you, but I'll keep 9 as a memory. You should also know that I 10 11.


-your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Glee - Man
Pretty Little Liars - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whiskey - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonardo
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Dear Corinn (my sister),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your camping car, and I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that extreme home makeover sucks. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of a new life as a clone.

Greetings to your frog Leonardo,

-Jacob Smith-

Okayyyy, that was really weird... and funny...

Guilty or Innocent?

Asked someone to marry you? innocent
Kissed one of your Facebook friends? Innocent
Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
Ever told a lie? Guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back? Guilty
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent
Kissed a picture? Innocent
Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent
Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty
Held a snake? Guilty
Been suspended from school? Innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
Stolen from a store? Guilty
Been fired from a job? Innocent
Done something you regret? Guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Guilty
Kissed in the rain? Innocent
Sat on a roof top? Guilty
Kissed someone you shouldn't? Innocent
Sang in the shower? Innocent
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty
Shaved your head? Guilty
Slept naked? Guilty
Had a boxing membership? What?
Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Innocent
Been in a band? Guilty
Shot a gun? Guilty. All the time.
Donated Blood? Innocent
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent
Eaten cheesecake? Guilty
Still love someone you shouldn't? Guilty
Have/had a tattoo? Innocent
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty
Been too honest? Innocent
Ruined a surprise? Guilty
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk after wards? Innocent
Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent
Dressed in a woman's clothes (if you’re a guy) or man's clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent
Joined a pageant? Innocent
Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Innocent
Had communication with your ex? Don't have an ex, so, Innocent
DATING Someone? Innocent
Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? Innocent
A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney/cab fare? Innocent
Get totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty
Taken a bath by candle light? Innocent
Taken a bath/shower with someone else? Guilty
Been to court? Guilty. For an adoption :D
Been a witness to a crime? Anything major? No. Innocent
Milked a cow? Innocent
Played in dirty water? Guilty
Spent the night in a hotel? Guilty
Drank milk from the carton? Guilty
Fell In love with in actor/actress? Innocent
Snuck into your own house? Guilty
Panicked because you missed your T.V show? Innocent. Don't have cable, so it doesn't matter.
Played with fire? GUILTY!! For all of you who care to know, I happen to be a pyromaniac. So yes. I have played with fire.
Slept all day, stay awake all night? Innocent
Had lice? Innocent
Had chickenpox? Innocent
Fought at school? Guilty
Spray painted a wall? Innocent
Stolen Food? Guilty
Taken a picture with the president? Innocent
Taken a picture with your principal? Innocent
Peed from having a nightmare? Guilty
Sleep walked? Guilty
E-mailed a stranger? Innocent
Talked to an operator? Innocent
Enjoyed your vegetables as a child? Innocent
Spoiled as a child? Innocent
Written love notes but never handed them out? Innocent
Think you're screwed up in the head? Guilty
Acted a fool in public? Guilty
Painted your own toes? Innocent
Selfish? Guilty
Conceited? Innocent
Been on TV? Innocent
Tired of this survey? Guilty
Forgot something majorly important? Guilty
Set off the fire alarm? Guilty
Had more than 5 alarms to wake you up in the morning? Guilty. My grand total is 7
Did 7 really eat 9? What?
Draw in class instead of doing your work? Guilty
Guys: have you ever taken your GF out to the dollar movie theatre? Innocent.
Girls: has your BF ever taken you to the dollar movie theatre?
Enjoy music? Guilty
Spend more time on your MySpace than cleaning your room? Innocent
Want to be a monster? Innocent
Get embarrassed easy? Guilty
Is 7 your lucky number? Innocent. It's 2.
Are you an early bird? Innocent
Do you write poetry? Innocent
Know how to swim? Guilty
Have a hidden stash of money? Innocent. My first impulse is to spend.
Clean your ears? Guilty
Like the sound of the ocean? Innocent

Wow, this really reveals alot about someones personality.

Your Real Name: Loren

Your Gangsta Name (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Lorizzle

Your Detective Name (favorite color and favorite animal): Red Wolf

Your Soap Opera Name (middle name and what people call you): Jacob Dorksalot

Your Star Wars Name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Smilorall (That sounds weird)

Your Superhero Name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Soda

Your Arab Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's name, and last letter of your mom's middle name): Oijlnkh

Your Witness Protection Name (mom's middle name): Louise

Your Goth Name (black and a name of your pet): Black Robin

Your Rock Star Name (favorite fruit and something that can go wrong): Pear Spelunking

Your Pirate Name (any color and a pirate accessory): Green Sash

1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question press the next button to get your answer


1. What is your motto?

Another One Bites the Dust

2. What do your friends think of you?

Gerudo Valley

3. What if you got so mad, that everyone stayed away from you and let you have your space for 4 days?

Viva la Vida

4. What if there was a stalker chasing you?

Mad Russian's Christmas (Instrumental)

5. What would you do if your friend left you?

We Will Rock You

6. What if you saw a bunch of random people/things?

I'm Yours

7. What if a male friend could do everything an adult can do?

Drops of Jupiter

8. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Beautiful day

9. What do you think when you see the person you like?

Killer Queen

10. What do your parents think of you?

More Than A Feeling

11. What will you dance to at your wedding?

You Can Call Me Al

12. What will they play at your funeral?

Kakiroko Village (But that's a happy song...)

13. What is your hobby/interest?

The Dynamo of Volition

14. What would you do if you worked at a casino?

Coyotes (:D)

15. What do you think of your friends?

Hey Soul Sister (I only have one female friend soooo...)

16. What is the worst thing that could happen?

Closer To Love

17. What if your brother/sister never stopped bothering you?

Diamonds on the Souls of Her Shoes

18. What is the one thing you will regret?

Superman (It's Not Easy)

19. Where would you like to go?

Homeless (Noooooooooo)

20. What has a catchy beat?

That Was Your Mother

21. Will you ever get married?


22. What is the dumbest thing you've ever said?

Black Horse and the Cherry Tree

23. Does anyone like you?

Annie (What are the odds? I don't even know anyone named annie.)

24. If you could go back in time, what would you change?

Under African Skies

25. What will you do to make the class laugh?

Stoppin' the Love ("Get a room!")

26. What will you post this as?

Everyone I Know

27. What is your current mood?

Ballad of the Goddess, from Skyward Sword

28. What do you think of your best friend?

The Boy in the Bubble

29. What is your favorite pasttime?

If It Kills Me

30. What are you going to do tomorrow?

Here we go

31. What interesting thing happened to you?

Only Human

32. What did your last text say?

I Know What I Know

33. What does your best friend think of you?

Make It Mine

34. Where do you wish you were?

Runaway Car (No, I don't wish I were in a runaway car)

35. What does the person you like think of you?

The Legend of Zelda Main Theme Medley

36. What will you be like in 10 years?

Fire & Rain (That describes my personality now.)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

Godly Parent is...


You like being in charge.
You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.
You were voted Class President.
You do what’s best for everyone.
You think you have what it takes to run for President.
You think every problem has a solution.
You love showing off
You like plane rides
You are hydrophobiac



You feel at home in the water.
Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.
You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.
You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.
You visit the local pool on a regular basis.
You swim professionally.
You hate seafood.
You never get seasick.
You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.
You are acrophobiac



You’re not that much of a people person.
You like staying in the dark and writing poems.
You experience bad moods on a regular basis.
You like listening to loud, angry music.
You spend most of your time alone.
You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. Only sometimes
You like to keep to yourself.
All your closets are padlocked.
You write in diary/journal.
You feel most active at night.



You own a garden.
You like the great outdoors.
You have a green thumb.
You’re an environmentalist.
You have a special connection with animals.
You’re a vegetarian.
You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.
You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.
You love going to flower shops.
You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.



You often start fights. (No but I don't hesitate to jump in)
You’re a very aggressive type of person.
You like watching wrestling.
You’re competitive.
You like reading about war.
You don’t take crap from anybody.
You have anger management.
You never back away from a fight. (Or at least, I'd rather not, but if I know I'm gunna lose I do. I'm not stupid.)
Everyone does what you say.
You don’t always think before you do something.



You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.
Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.
You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.
You’re the valedictorian in your class.
You’ve never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card.
You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.
You think it would be better if you were the President.
You have a huge shelf of books at home.
You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.



You’re very creative and artistic.
You like listening to all kinds of music in general.
You always feel sunny and optimistic.
You are talented at drawing.
You like writing poetry.
You can play at least 3 musical instruments.
You like going to art museums.
You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. (Wouldn't know, I've only entered one)
You have straight As in Art on your report card.
Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.



You dislike boys in general.
A deer is one of your favorite animals
You can shoot targets
You like silver.
You like the moon better than the sun
Zoe Nightshade is awesome
You love wild animals
You spend most of your time outdoors.
You love to move around the place
Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters.



You have a way with tools.
You build awesome things during your free time.
You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.
Metalworking is your forte.
You have your own toolbox.
You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.
You’re a techie.
You often have carpentry projects.
You dream of being a carpenter.
You aren’t afraid of fire.



Every guy/girl swoons for you. Lots of guys do.
You like putting on makeup.
You naturally smell good.
You never experience a bad hair day.
Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.
You’re always at the front of every trend.
You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.
You’re often invited to parties.
Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”
You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.



You like pickpocketing your friends. (Check your pockets ;D)
You’re a prankster.
You’re a speed demon.
You consider yourself restless.
You’re the best speaker in the class.
You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.
You’re inventive and resourceful.
You often start arguments.
You’ve never lost a debate.
You like making witty and sarcastic statements.



You’re the life of the party.
You like wine.
You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.
You can finish a martini in less than a minute.
You have a happy, cheerful disposition.
You’re a foodie.
You like going to social events and mingling with people.
You like trying out new food.
You feel that you’re abundant in life.
You think that too much of anything is bad.


I do believe I am a sun of Hermes. I was serious about that "Check your pockets" statement.

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Deadliest Warrior: Kasrkin Commandos vs Gears by batfan94 reviews
Who is the Deadliest Warrior? Vote who you think should win. NOTICE: CANCELLED
Crossover - Warhammer & Gears of War - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,018 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/9/2014 - Published: 9/17/2011 - Marcus F.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Black Ship reviews
Tobias was born a Psyker. This is the story of how he was taken from home by one of the infamous Black Ships.
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,978 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/25/2014
Teh Lerd of teh Rerngs: Teh Fellowship of teh Bling reviews
A very... interesting... band of people bring a powerful ring to it's making point to be destroyed. Warning, this is meant to be stupid. Rated M for language and sexual innuendos. Enjoy!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,581 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6/13/2014 - Published: 12/13/2013 - Complete
Deadliest Warrior: Assassins VS Rangers reviews
Assassins VS Rangers. WHO IS DEADLIEST! Rated T to be safe.
Crossover - Assassin's Creed & Ranger's Apprentice - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,913 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/11/2013 - Published: 12/11/2011 - Ezio A., Will - Complete
Legion reviews
The story of Kaldrakh the Impenetrable, Phaeron of the Joviak Dynasty, and his rise to power.
Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,784 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/4/2012 - Published: 11/30/2012 - Necrons
Brink: The Skulls reviews
The special Security task force, The White Skulls, must stop a devious Resistance plot. Rated T for violence, language and blood.
Brink - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2012
Hunger Games: In the Shadow of Death reviews
Nearly 20 years into the future of the book The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, although Katniss and Peeta rebelled, the Hunger Games continued to take place. In this, the 93rd Hunger Game, Thrazz Altar needs to survive to keep someone he loves alive.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,434 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 11/29/2011