Colonel Cooper
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Joined 11-29-11, id: 3475085, Profile Updated: 01-01-16
Author has written 28 stories for Twin Peaks, Frasier, and Good Wife.

User name - Colonel Cooper - from Twin Peaks episode 1:03 (Rest in Pain), the name Audrey jokingly calls Agent Cooper at breakfast.

Actual name - Rob

Location - Peterborough, U.K.

Coming Soon - A Universe of Possibilities

After the Events of "A New Universe," Cooper and Audrey begin to navigate their relationship along the hazardous currents of life in Twin Peaks. Maintaining secrecy from a conniving father is danger enough, without the import of two names from the past - Windom Earle and John Wheeler - to thrust them, and the town itself, into the realms of death and despair.

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Of Death and Moonbeams by Lynzee005 reviews
"I believe I may have gotten my wish—one of them—from the night I was shot: Diane, I made love tonight—three times, in fact—to a beautiful woman for whom I have genuine affection," Cooper spoke as he leaned back in the chair and took another sip from his coffee mug. (Part I of the Moonlight Trilogy) **COMPLETE**
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 24,964 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 7/15/2013 - Audrey H., D. Cooper - Complete
Of Death and Moonbeams (Abridged) by Lynzee005 reviews
Dale Cooper was no stranger to death. But tonight, the death of Leland Palmer had shaken him to his core... **Abridged from a longer piece, currently of the same name**
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,529 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Audrey H., D. Cooper - Complete
I Was Lonely in My Room by gagewhitney reviews
The next time she takes off her clothes and climbs into his bed, it's nearly 2:30 in the morning and he's fast asleep.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/14/2011 - [D. Cooper, Audrey H.] - Complete
Come Save Me Tonight by apckrfan reviews
Spoilers for all of the series. Cooper finds out about the explosion at the bank and that Audrey was there.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,261 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Sense of Unease
An attempt to wrap up the Twin Peaks story in the form of a prose poem.
Twin Peaks - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Published: 10/12/2015 - Complete
I Take You Seriously reviews
Lana needs to know if Kalinda is as serious about their relationship as she is, so she delivers an ultimatum - "If this is just nothing to you, then don't come by here tonight, okay?" An ending to the abridged scene in 6x09.
Good Wife - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,237 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2015 - Kalinda S., Lana D. - Complete
Transitions
This brief excerpt (written several years ago) was intended to be the first chapter in a twenty-five years later story - but the over-arching plot never really came together to my satisfaction, and so I never continued with it. The main protagonists are two young women - Maddy and Laura. What is their relationship and who are their parents? Only one question gets answered.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,316 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/24/2015 - Complete
Twin Pecs reviews
Cooper isn't the only new guy in town but, unlike the quirky F.B.I. Agent, this one is decidedly hostile.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/5/2014 - Laura P., Sarah P. - Complete
The Flying Nun reviews
Pete discovers another body lying on the shore of Black Lake. Who is it this time? The story title gives that question away!
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/29/2013 - Harry T., Pete M. - Complete
Passing Through Nature to Eternity reviews
Is it possible for an inanimate object - say, a school desk - to absorb some small essence of a pupil who sat there for many long hours? Cooper believes it, he's tried it before.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,697 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/18/2013 - D. Cooper, Laura P. - Complete
The Gift reviews
A four part story in which Ben discovers Coop at One-Eyed Jack's - and concocts a nasty little scenario.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,191 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/5/2013 - Published: 11/17/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete
What a Java Palaver reviews
Coop and Audrey are the hosts for the very first Twin Peaks coffee competition - and most probably the last.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/30/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Mind Your Language reviews
Major Briggs admonishes his wife for using profanities at the dinner table - at least I think he does!
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Complete
The Measure of a Man reviews
Coop is easily inspired - even when it's hard...
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 214 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/12/2012 - D. Cooper - Complete
Crossing the Lion reviews
The real reason Leo killed Bernard Renault - or maybe not!
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Leo J. - Complete
A New Universe reviews
A continuation of their hotel room scene from episode 17 - Cooper doesn't want to leave with Audrey thinking he's perfect, but their subsequent conversation reveals truths he's been unwilling to analyse.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,888 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/22/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Twin Piques reviews
Imagine if ABC had insisted that David Lynch wrap up the Laura Palmer storyline, and he responded, in a fit of pique, by doing it in 60 seconds flat. Not only that but he simultaneously wraps up the Audrey/Cooper storyline - therefore "Twin Piques."
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/16/2012 - D. Cooper, Ronette P. - Complete
Oh, Brother! reviews
In this Alternate Universe drabble they may be monks - but have the Horne Brothers really changed their habits? My thanks are extended to wonderTWINpowersACTIVATE for providing the perfect title, and for their continued support and enthusiasm.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Benjamin H. - Complete
Audrey for Breakfast reviews
Surely Coop can't have Maple Syrup every morning? This is a crude one - be warned.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete
Sex Secrets from the Gazebo reviews
James and Donna reveal secrets about their respective mothers.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2012 - James H., Donna H. - Complete
The Cranes Are Not What They Seem reviews
A Triple-drabble: The Crane boys in Twin Peaks - however the RR Diner is not the Cafe Nervosa.
Crossover - Frasier & Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Frasier, Niles, D. Cooper, Norma J. - Complete
Audrey in the Hospital II: The Unnecessary Sequel reviews
Sequel to "Audrey in the Hospital" - day 2 of her recovery from the season 2 finale bank explosion.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Audrey H. - Complete
Truman's Ho reviews
A re-imagining of the scene in episode 02:17 where Coop relieves a drunken Harry of his gun, after the death of his beloved Josie. The first two lines are taken from the episode's script.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Harry T., D. Cooper - Complete
A Dilemma with Horne's reviews
A drabble detailing Audrey's conversation with Dr. Jacoby about her father's madness, with her initial father-hating character still intact.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Audrey H., L. Jacoby - Complete
A Mockery of Justice reviews
A triple-drabble, or tribble, or trabble - whatever...detailing Audrey's initial reaction to a certain Mr. Wheeler, if her character hadn't been lobotomized by off-screen circumstances.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 323 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H. - Complete
Cock and Bull reviews
Albert doesn't know what a slash drabble is. My thanks are extended to wonderTWINpowersACTIVATE for providing the perfect title for this piece, and for their continued support and enthusiasm.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/25/2012 - D. Cooper, Albert R. - Complete
Audrey's First Time reviews
We all know that Audrey appeared to inexplicably give herself to that Wheeler bloke in episode 27, but that was a specially edited version for the network. The full story of who she gave herself to, and why, is detailed here...
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/17/2012 - Audrey H. - Complete
Hawk's Week reviews
5 days in the life of Deputy Hill.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Hawk - Complete
Back to the Salt-Mines reviews
After Cooper and Audrey finally get it on, Coop feels the need to dictate - much to Audrey's annoyance.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/13/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
The Battis Indulgence reviews
An AU comedy/drama scene in which Special Agent Dale Cooper interviews Emory Battis, General Manager of Horne's Dept. Store, while Audrey and Diane listen in from the closet.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,524 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Audrey in the Hospital reviews
A drabble detailing what happened to Audrey after the end-of-season 2 explosion at the bank.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Audrey H. - Complete
Audrey in the Shower reviews
Ben's in the dock for striking Agent Cooper. Why? And where's Audrey? In the shower, hopefully, or the story title's a bit strange.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/9/2011 - Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete