Colonel Cooper
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Joined 11-29-11, id: 3475085, Profile Updated: 02-20-13
Author has written 25 stories for Twin Peaks, and Frasier.

User name - Colonel Cooper - from Twin Peaks episode 1:03 (Rest in Pain), the name Audrey jokingly calls Agent Cooper at breakfast.

Actual name - Rob

Location - Peterborough, U.K.

Account status: ON HIATUS

It looks like the Twin Peaks fandom on here is either in hibernation or in a very deep coma, which is a shame as I've enjoyed writing for it - but if no one else is writing/reading/reviewing, which seems to be the case - then how long can I continue to plough a lone furrow without frustration setting in? It is with regret, then, that I'm going on hiatus for the immediate future - hopefully during my absence the fandom can show some green shoots of recovery. It is my fervent hope that talented authors such as Ronnie Rocket, thegrumblingirl and AlienAmongUs will return to the fandom, re-invigorated after their absence, to continue with their long-lapsed stories, and authors such as Lynzee005 and eclectictsunami (who've both published just the one outstanding story) will find further inspiration with another offering for the fandom.

In closing, thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed my work, especially Ronnie and Margot, it means a lot. I intend to leave the PM facility open, if anyone wants to say hello, they'll be more than welcome to...

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Of Death and Moonbeams by Lynzee005 reviews
"I believe I may have gotten my wish—one of them—from the night I was shot: Diane, I made love tonight—three times, in fact—to a beautiful woman for whom I have genuine affection," Cooper spoke as he leaned back in the chair and took another sip from his coffee mug. (Part I of the Moonlight Trilogy) **COMPLETE**
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 24,964 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 7/15/2013 - Audrey H., D. Cooper - Complete
The World Spins by Ronnie Rocket reviews
"What is it about fire that's so beautiful? I mean, if you didn't stop it, it'd just go on and on. Burn away lifetimes or something." A collection of short stories exploring the lives and loves of Twin Peaks' many residents before, during, and after the series.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 6/1/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H.
Of Death and Moonbeams (Abridged) by Lynzee005 reviews
Dale Cooper was no stranger to death. But tonight, the death of Leland Palmer had shaken him to his core... **Abridged from a longer piece, currently of the same name**
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,529 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Audrey H., D. Cooper - Complete
A Horse of a Different Color by Ronnie Rocket reviews
"It's strange, and Audrey doesn't know how or why she knows this, but on the same day, separated by seven states, she and Dale saw identical wrens digging for worms." An Audrey Horne character study.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,289 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/9/2012 - Audrey H., D. Cooper - Complete
I Was Lonely in My Room by gagewhitney reviews
The next time she takes off her clothes and climbs into his bed, it's nearly 2:30 in the morning and he's fast asleep.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/14/2011 - [D. Cooper, Audrey H.] - Complete
Come Save Me Tonight by apckrfan reviews
Spoilers for all of the series. Cooper finds out about the explosion at the bank and that Audrey was there.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,261 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Twin Pecs reviews
Cooper isn't the only new guy in town but, unlike the quirky F.B.I. Agent, this one is decidedly hostile.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/5 - Laura P., Sarah P. - Complete
The Flying Nun reviews
Pete discovers another body lying on the shore of Black Lake. Who is it this time? The story title gives that question away!
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/29/2013 - Harry T., Pete M. - Complete
Passing Through Nature to Eternity reviews
Is it possible for an inanimate object - say, a school desk - to absorb some small essence of a pupil who sat there for many long hours? Cooper believes it, he's tried it before.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,697 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/18/2013 - D. Cooper, Laura P. - Complete
The Gift reviews
A four part story in which Ben discovers Coop at One-Eyed Jack's - and concocts a nasty little scenario.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,191 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/5/2013 - Published: 11/17/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete
What a Java Palaver reviews
Coop and Audrey are the hosts for the very first Twin Peaks coffee competition - and most probably the last.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/30/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Mind Your Language reviews
Major Briggs admonishes his wife for using profanities at the dinner table - at least I think he does!
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Complete
The Measure of a Man reviews
Coop is easily inspired - even when it's hard...
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 214 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/12/2012 - D. Cooper - Complete
Crossing the Lion reviews
The real reason Leo killed Bernard Renault - or maybe not!
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Leo J. - Complete
A New Universe reviews
A continuation of their hotel room scene from episode 17 - Cooper doesn't want to leave with Audrey thinking he's perfect, but their subsequent conversation reveals truths he's been unwilling to analyse.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,888 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/22/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Twin Piques reviews
Imagine if ABC had insisted that David Lynch wrap up the Laura Palmer storyline, and he responded, in a fit of pique, by doing it in 60 seconds flat. Not only that but he simultaneously wraps up the Audrey/Cooper storyline - therefore "Twin Piques."
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/16/2012 - D. Cooper, Ronette P. - Complete
Oh, Brother! reviews
In this Alternate Universe drabble they may be monks - but have the Horne Brothers really changed their habits? My thanks are extended to wonderTWINpowersACTIVATE for providing the perfect title, and for their continued support and enthusiasm.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Benjamin H. - Complete
Audrey for Breakfast reviews
Surely Coop can't have Maple Syrup every morning? This is a crude one - be warned.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete
Sex Secrets from the Gazebo reviews
James and Donna reveal secrets about their respective mothers.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2012 - James H., Donna H. - Complete
The Cranes Are Not What They Seem reviews
A Triple-drabble: The Crane boys in Twin Peaks - however the RR Diner is not the Cafe Nervosa.
Crossover - Frasier & Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Frasier, Niles, D. Cooper, Norma J. - Complete
Audrey in the Hospital II: The Unnecessary Sequel reviews
Sequel to "Audrey in the Hospital" - day 2 of her recovery from the season 2 finale bank explosion.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Audrey H. - Complete
Truman's Ho reviews
A re-imagining of the scene in episode 02:17 where Coop relieves a drunken Harry of his gun, after the death of his beloved Josie. The first two lines are taken from the episode's script.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Harry T., D. Cooper - Complete
A Dilemma with Horne's reviews
A drabble detailing Audrey's conversation with Dr. Jacoby about her father's madness, with her initial father-hating character still intact.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Audrey H., L. Jacoby - Complete
A Mockery of Justice reviews
A triple-drabble, or tribble, or trabble - whatever...detailing Audrey's initial reaction to a certain Mr. Wheeler, if her character hadn't been lobotomized by off-screen circumstances.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 323 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Audrey H., Benjamin H. - Complete
Cock and Bull reviews
Albert doesn't know what a slash drabble is. My thanks are extended to wonderTWINpowersACTIVATE for providing the perfect title for this piece, and for their continued support and enthusiasm.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/25/2012 - D. Cooper, Albert R. - Complete
Audrey's First Time reviews
We all know that Audrey appeared to inexplicably give herself to that Wheeler bloke in episode 27, but that was a specially edited version for the network. The full story of who she gave herself to, and why, is detailed here...
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/17/2012 - Audrey H. - Complete
Hawk's Week reviews
5 days in the life of Deputy Hill.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Hawk - Complete
Back to the Salt-Mines reviews
After Cooper and Audrey finally get it on, Coop feels the need to dictate - much to Audrey's annoyance.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/13/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
The Battis Indulgence reviews
An AU comedy/drama scene in which Special Agent Dale Cooper interviews Emory Battis, General Manager of Horne's Dept. Store, while Audrey and Diane listen in from the closet.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,524 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/11/2012 - D. Cooper, Audrey H. - Complete
Audrey in the Hospital reviews
A drabble detailing what happened to Audrey after the end-of-season 2 explosion at the bank.
Twin Peaks - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Audrey H. - Complete
Audrey in the Shower reviews
Ben's in the dock for striking Agent Cooper. Why? And where's Audrey? In the shower, hopefully, or the story title's a bit strange.
Twin Peaks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/9/2011 - Benjamin H., D. Cooper - Complete