Author has written 6 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, and Hunger Games.
I'm part of a collaboration called 24 Wars for 24 Tributes. The author publishing it is 13ASB. I'm writing the girl from District 4, Emily. Please read, review, and follow the story!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! I don't want to continue a story if nobody likes it! Suggestions are appreciated, but please BE NICE!!!!!
You have heard of both Leyna and Jeyna, both Jasper and Liper, but have you ever heard of anything other than Percabeth? NO!
20 Percy Jackson Questions
1. Percabeth or Prachel? Percabeth
2. Favorite guy character? Percy Jackson
3. Favorite girl character? ANNABETH!!!!!
4. Favorite God? Hades, because he rules
5. Favoite Goddess? Artemis
6. Zeus, Poseidon or Hades? Hades
7. Is Luke hot? YEAH
8. Would you join the hunters? Probably
9. Archery or sword fighting? SWORD FIGHTING ALL THE WAY!
10. Iris messaging or Hermes express? Iris Messaging
11. Favorite minor God/Goddess? Hestia(although she isn't really minor, she just isn't an olympian) If that answer isn't good enough, then Iris
13. Least favorite? Nemesis
14. Would you live year round at Camp Half-Blood or just go in the summer? Year Round
15. Favorite couple? How is this differant from favorite pairing? percabeth, but it's the same as my favorite pairing...
16. Are you a demigod? HELL YEAH I AM!!!!!
17. Who would be your parent? Artemis(if she had kids) but since not either Athena or Hades...random I know
18. Favorite minor character? Travis Stoll, or Thalia, or Nico, or Calypso
19. Ethan or Luke? Luke
20. Favorite monster? Hydra!
You Know You're Obsessed With Percy Jackson and the Olympians When...
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp Half-Blood shirt.
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events.
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies .
You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:
-Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. also shes a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate...
-Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.
-Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.
-Hermes- Cutting off your Internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.
-Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me, I don’t want to waste her time!
You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
You give all your siblings god parents
You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You still think Thuke could happen.
You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.
You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.
Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.
You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.
You didn't go look at page 203 in BotL because you have it memorized
You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations.
You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"
When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters.
You go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. When the dude at the desk looks at you weird,you announce that you’re a demigod.
You put in grey contacts and pretend that you are Annabeth
You curse out the gods when something bad happens.
You watch the show and read the book every chance you get.
You claim that you are a demigod and need to go to Camp in New York.
You go to New York and ask for a man named Chiron and that you need to go with him.
You look for a Latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw Greek field days.
You try to find Rachel and ask her for a prophecy.
Every time a major water storm or earthquake happens, you scream at Poseidon
Every time something or someone dies that you are close to, you blame Hades.
You’re in a running/swimming race, and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.
You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.
Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…
You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.
You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!). (No offense, Ares)
You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses???
Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.
When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.
Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
Whenever your Internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.
And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. (Lol, I’m so dumb when it comes to technology. I thought my iPod was broken when in fact it was out of battery.)
When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"
You cried when you finished TLO.
You did a happy dance when TLH came out.
You are on FanFic trying to quench your thirst for PJO until TMoA comes out in fall.
You eat, sleep, and breathe Percabeth.PERCABETH RULES ABOVE ALL ELSE. THEY SHOULD BECOME THE KING AND QUEEN OF OLYMPUS AND CAST HERA AND ZEUS INTO TARTUARUS!!!!)
Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page.
You're in love with a fictional character.
You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO.
You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series.
You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood.
If you want to push Rachel Elizabeth Dare off a cliff.
You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.
You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.
You know which pages the good parts are on.
You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Apollo.)
You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.
You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.
You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.
You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.
You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.
Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.
You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.
You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”
On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.
You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.
You have one (or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.
You know PJO better then most sane people.
You have links to every great PJO site.
You add things to the list every day.
You know what you would do if you were Percy.
You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not.
At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.
You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work.
For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Mythomagic cards, and they understood.
Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'.
You are trying to learn Greek. (I learned the Alphabet and can write it fluently!)
You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
Every language you know is some form of Ancient Greek.
You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes.
You have an instant crush on Nico!
You just have to research more about Greek mythology (I am now a genius about that field.)
You call up the Camp Half Blood number.
You want to learn Latin.
About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross-over.
You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you have.
You make sure all of your friends (or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO.
Your friends (at least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree.
A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed.
You have something on your school things (or home things), that says 'Daughter (or son if you're a guy) of god/goddess’, and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says ‘Daughter an unliked god/goddess’.
You’re nodding and smiling when you read this
You own every single book.
You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.
You call yourself a demigod.
You wish with every fiber of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real.
You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.
You've called someone you know a satyr.
You name your pet fish Clovis
You noticed that in TLO, Rick Riordan wrote Connor in Chapter 3 (I Take a Sneak Peak to my Death) and Conner in Chapter 10 (I Buy Some New Friends).
You noticed that in TLT, Rick Riordan said the girl in Percy’s dream, (Thalia) had ‘stormy green eyes,’ when in fact she has electric blue eyes.
When you're History teacher asks you what's your favorite food and you answer 'Double Stuf Oreos' because Ares gave them those with a backpack in TLT.
You accidentally call one of your friends a PJO name.
You change the lyrics in LOVE STORY by Taylor Swift from, "Marry me, Juliet" to "Marry me, Annabeth".
You try to talk to horses.
You try to summon the dead.
You try to summon lightning.
You try to breathe underwater. (which did not end well...)
You look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement.
You check to see if horses have wings before you ride them.
You have done at least 15 (or more) of the above things.
YOU HAVE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE!!!
List your favorite PJATO/HOO/Both characters in no particular order, 1-12
Have you ever read a six/eleven fic? do you want to? NicoxArtemis? nope
Can you recall any fics about nine? Clarrise? Yes, i wrote it.
Would two and six make a good couple? Why/Why Not? NicoxPercy...Uh...No
Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? BeckondorfxClarrise or BeckondorfxTravis...BeckondorfxClarrise
What would happen if Seven walked in on two and twelve kissing? Thalia walking in on Percy and Athena kissing. She would yell at both of them for betraying Annabeth. And she would summon lightning to shock them both
Is there anything such as One/Eight fluff? AnnabethxJason? idk...
A title and summary for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fix: Annabeth dies and Thalia and Athena contort each other... After her death??? idk
Do any of your friends write/draw eleven? No
If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? RANDOM FLUFF!!!!!
When was the last time you read/wrote a fic about five? Two days ago!
5 and 12 are in a happy realtionship until 5 dumps 12 for 3. Brokenhearted, 12 has a date with 6, an unhappy breakup with 8, and follows the wise advice of 9 and finds true love with 10.
Beckondorf and Athena are in a happy relationship until Beckondorf dumps Athena for Piper. Brokenhearted, Athena has a date with Nico, an unhappy breakup with Jason, and follows the wise advice of Clarrise and finds true love with Travis
What would you title that story if you made it real? What would the warning be? Major PJO oddness WARNING: MMMMAJOR ODDNESS!!!
Character, Overall? GINNY WEASLEY!!!!!!!
Female Character? Ginny Weasley
Male Characters? Harry Potter
Group Of Characters? DUMBLEDORES ARMY!!!!
Adult? either Filch, Snape, or Dumbledore
Non-Canon Ship? Luna/Neville or Dumbledore/Umbridge
Sweet? Chocolate frogs
Place? Aragogs home in the forbidden forest
Weasley Twin? FRED!!!!
Product? A wand, duh!
Shop? The three broomsticks
Couples? What Do You Think?
Ron/Hermione? Always going to happen, what with the bickering for seven years!
Harry/Hermione? ew no way! They're like siblings! That's gross!
Harry/Ginny? MY FAVE HP PAIRING IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!
Harry/Pansy? Seriously, where does this idea come from? I don't even think they've even spoken apart from spiteful comments
Ron/Luna? No...Ron's too mean to her.
Ron/Pansy? NO! this is just wrong
Ron/Fleur? No, that's his brother's wife, Ron's not like that!
Hermione/Draco? In AVPM it's cute, but in the books absolutely not. AVPMdracohermione
Hermione/FredORGeorge? I don't like it...ew...
James/Lily? Not really
Lily/Sirius? No, that would mean Sirius would betray James.
Lily/Lupin? No! They're great friends, but wouldn't work as a couple
Tonks/Lupin? They are sooooooo cute!! he's like "I'm no good for you and too old" and she's like "I don't care!!" and they made Teddy :D
Draco/Pansy? No, Draco is actually nice inside...somewhat nice
Fred/Angelina? It could happen but I totally prefer George/Angelina
Harry/Cho? Worst pairing in the whole of HP!!!!! CHO NEEDS TO DIE AND GO TO HADES!
This Or That?
Harry or Ron? Harry
Hermione or Ginny? Ginny
Neville or Seamus? Neville
Snape or Slughorn? Snape
Fred Or George? Fred
Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione? Harry/Ginny
Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Ron/Hermione,
Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna? Harry/Luna
Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna? Ron/Hermione
Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione? Hermione/Krum
Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione? Ron/Hermione
ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey? Butterbeer
Zonko’s or Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes? Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes
Hog’s Head Or The Three roomsticks? The Three Broomsticks
James/Lily or Snape/Lily? Snape/Lily!!!!!! =)
Hogwarts or Hogsmeade? Hogwarts (or pigfarts...)
Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley? Diagon Alley all the way :)
Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley? Knockturn Alley
Beartie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees? Beartie Bott's.
Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet? The Daily Prophet
Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch? Rita Skeeter
Gyrffindor or Ravenclaw? Gryffindor! I'd want to be like Hermione where she is still smart
List Twelve of your favorite characters from HP, in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.
2. Lily Luna (harry and ginny's daughter)
7. Cho Chang (I only put her here because I hate her!!!!!!)
9. Cedric Diggory (aka edward cullen)
12. Romilda Vane
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
3. What you happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
That would be weird because then Fred would be pregnant with Romildas baby
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Lily Luna and Umbridge...noooooo
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Hermione with Cedric or Voldemort...VOLDEMORT!!!!
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve "going at it"?
Cho walking in on Lily Luna and Romilda Vane:
Cho: romilda! Thats Harry and Ginny's daughter! Do you hate Ginny as much as I do for stealing Harry! I know! Let's team up to get revenge on her! We'll start by killing Lily Luna because I'm a psychotic creep! Yay! *KILLS LILY LUNA*
8. Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff
Ginny and Fred...hmmmmm
9. Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fix
Cho Chang and Romilda Vane...comforting each other because Harry and Ginny make a perfect couple and Harry doesn't like them.
10. Would you write Two/Four/Five?
Lily Luna, Dumbledore, Hermione? Ummm...idk...no
11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Fred...If I Die Young
12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Ginny, Umbridge, Romilda..."DONT READ THIS!!!!!"
13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
14. (3) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (3), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (1).
Harry and Cho are in a happy relationship until Cedric runs off with Cho. Harry, brokenhearted, has a hot one night stand with Luna and a brief unhappy affair with Romilda, then follows the wise advice of Hermione and finds true love with Ginny. OMG WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!! THAT IS SOOO WEIRD!
15. Would 3 and 7 make a good couple?
Cho and Harry...OVER MY COLD, LIFELESS BODY!!!!!!! WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THAT PAIRING SHOULD HAVE THEIR BLESSING OF HECATE TAKEN AWAY AND BE CAST INTO TATARUS WHERE THEY CAN ROT WITH KRONOS FOREVER!!!!!!!!) in case you can't tell I HATE CHO CHANG!!!!!!!!!
16. How would 9 react if 11 died?
Umm. they don't really know eachother
17. Who would most likely join the Order of the Phoenix, 3, 6, 9, or 10?
Harry, Umbridge, Cedric, or Voldemort. Voldemort would be most likely, than Umbridge, than Cedric. Harry would absolutely under no circumstances would join the Order of Phoenix. jk...HARRY!
18. Who would most likely become a death eater, 2, 5, 8, or 11?
Lilly Luna, Hermione,Fred, Luna. None of them would!
19. Who would make a better couple, 1/6 or 2/4?
Ginny/Umbridge or Lily Luna/ Dumbledore...neither
20. Write a summary for a tragedy fanfiction about 5 and 9.
21. For a fanfiction about 7 and 12, what would the genre(s) most likely be?
22. Who would most likely kill who, 1 kill 2 or 9 kill 5?
Ginny/Lily Luna or Cedric Diggory/Hermione...Cedric/Hermione cause Lily Luna is Ginny's daughter
23. Who would make the best Auror, 1, 6, 8, or 10?
Ginny,Umbridge, Fred, Voldemort...VOLDEMORT!!!!(actually probably Ginny)
24. Who's better looking, 6 or 9?
Cedric Diggory/Umbridge...hmmm...this ones hard...DIGGORY!!!!!
The Percy Jackson pledge:
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
When I say 'LOL,' I'm not 'laughing out loud.' I just have nothing better to say.
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill.
I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.
Sarcasm is my automatic response to stupidity.
Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
Fave Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus pairings
Fave HP pairings
Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals
4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
43) I may not have a private army.
44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
54) - Especially not all of them at once.
55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.
63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry
82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.
86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.
95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.
105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.
106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.
107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".
108) Even if he is.
109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.
110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.
111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.
112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.
113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.
114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.
115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.
116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.
117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.
118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.
119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.
120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.
121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.
122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.
123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.
124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.
125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.
126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.
127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.
128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.
129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.
130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.
131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.
132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."
133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "Ahhh! It's an albino dementor!"
134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.
135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."
136) To which I am not allowed to reply.
137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.
139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.
140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.
141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.
142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"
143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.
144) Portable swamps are not funny.
145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.
146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.
147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.
148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.
149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.
150) Neither is my animagus form.
151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.
153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
155) No part of the school uniform is edible.
156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".
158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.
159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.
160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.
165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."
167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.
170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.
173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.
175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.
177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.
178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.
179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.
180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.
181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.
182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.
183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.
This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you!
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
Wow. I must really be an idiot.
YOUR GUY SIDE:
x You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
x You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You say Twilight
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Yeah right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they?!
5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fricken floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the heck can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?!?
20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:
1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down
2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that
4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso
6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"
7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"
8: Dont use any punctuation
9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking
10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face
11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"
12: Sing along at the opera
13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day
15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'
16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"
17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"
18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"
19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
People are dying in a war based on inaccurate facts. Our goverment is corrupt. Gas prices still keep going up. Homes are being destroyed in natural disasters. Children are being abused by their families. The local pedophile may be a priest. Poverty still exists even though we are the richest nation. There is still no cure for AIDS. All these and you are still going to focus on a persons sexuality?
Top 71 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28. Hold an auction.
29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
30. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
31. Throw a rave.
32. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
33. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
34. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
35. Have a heated debate with yourself.
36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
37. Drum on every available surface.
38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
42. Propose to the other passengers.
43. Challenge people to duels.
44. Sell girl scout cookies.
45. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
46. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
47. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
48. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
49. Pitch a tent on the floor, and"camp out" for the weekend.
50. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
51. Shout "Food fight!"
52. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
53. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
54. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
55. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!
56. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
57. Make sushi.
59. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
60. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
61. Practice your kung fu.
62. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
63. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
64. Fly a model airplane.
65. Do yoga.
66. Play the accordion
67. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
68. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
69. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
70. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
71. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word
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