Poll: How/where did you discover and start reading "and so the prince fell in lovee with the peasent" Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.
anything that has a * next to it i have done
Hello, my name is Erin. i live in northern california. my 4 storys Im writing right now are a little piece of me,listen to your heart, car crash, and so the prince fell in love with the peasant. i did have another story but no one review it so i deleated it. i Love ASL(amarican sign lauguage) so im writing a story about a deaf girl named Kia who gets imprinted on.
also this might be 1 of the longest profiles you ever read so...enjoy=)
i put a lot of ramdom stuff that i love cuz it makes me laugh or think or want to cry.
the banner for 'and so the prince fell in love with the peasant' by Ysar :
if you are interested in ASL or deaf history watch this video
if you liked that video go to
picture from my storys(eye color may not be the color from the story)
listen to your heart
Kia's dad (the first one):
Hinto Nevens (the first one)
Kia's pink sweater:
and so the prince fell in love with the peasent
Emmett's the strongest.
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous.
A Twilight Survey
Which book in the series is your favorite?
How long did it take you to read the books?
one/two days per book
Who introduced you to the books?
the voices in my head=)
Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?
well, SM is'nt doing midnight sun anymore=( so breaking dawn part 2
What's your dream ending to the series?
the same thing happens but sam and emily have a son a leah imprints on him=) happy ending for every one
Favorites: Who is your favorite character?
Who's your favorite vampire?
Who is your favorite werewolf?
What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
"Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" Jacob, Eclipse
What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?
when Edward saves Bella from James
What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
after bella's change when Jacob tells her he imprinted on her daughter
What was your favorite adventure/battle?
the battle edward vs victoria in the 3rd book
Which book cover was your favorite?
Are these books among your favorite books of all?
This or That?
Twilight or New Moon?
New Moon or Eclipse?
Eclipse or Twilight?
Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?
Midnight Sun since Breaking Dawn is already out
Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?
Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?
DUH Edward OF COZ!!
Who do you like more:
Bella or Edward?
Bella or Jacob?
Bella or Alice?
Alice or Jacob?
Rosalie or Alice?
Jasper or Alice?
Jasper or Edward
Carlisle or Esme?
Emmett or Jasper?
Emmett or Jacob?
Bella or Rosalie?
Esme or Charlie?
Charlie or Carlisle?
Charlie or Billy?
Jacob or Sam?
Sam or Quil?
Quil or Embry?
Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?
Victoria, she brings back up
Werewolves or Vampires?
Both, you cant have one without the other
How did you first find out about the movie?
Are you excited?
Already seen it
What do you think of the casting so far?
Bella isnt a good actrist and jaspers hair keeps changing even though there hair cant grow
Are you going to go see it?
Told u already. I've seen it.
Planning on going with anyone in particular?
OH MY GOD! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IVE FREAKING SEEN IT!
Do you think it will stay true to the book?
NO!!(I no coz I seen it!) BUT STILL IT'S A GOOD MOVIE!!
(A Few Last Things:)
In which book did you like Bella's character best?
breaking dawn, but after she gets turned
How about Edward's?
If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?
Write 12 of your Fave Book characters in whatever order and follow the instructions below:
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Emily and Jacob? Nop never
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Yes, when he is not demanding
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? jasper getting emmitt pregannt. lol XD
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? yep, one was about if alice was human when jasper found her.
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? aroEmily= YUCK Never in my life
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? sam with alice or sam with quil? well because quil is a guy i would say sam and alice
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve? edward walking in on jasper and aro? lol, i think edward would rip off his ears, trying not to hear there thoughts
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. oo that's easy. when edward left bella got so deprested she tryed to kill her self but quil saw her and saved her. he imprints on her. the imprint effects her and she loves him back.
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? ummm... emmitt and embry. i dont think so
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. jasper and Edward. someone who understands me. cuz jasper can fell edwards feelings and edward can read his mind
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?umm embry and carlisle. carlisle never meet esme and embry imprints on him
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three slash? not that i no of
13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? yep
14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Aro/ Carlisel/sam. i dont think so
15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? Quil, i dont what to think about that
why men are never depressed
men are just happier people-
what do you expect from such simple creatures?
their last name stays put
the garage is all theirs
wedding plans take care of themselves
chocolate is just another snack
they can be president
they can never get pregnant
they can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
they can wear NO shirt to a water park
car mechanics tell them the truth
the world is their urinal
they never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky
they don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
same work, more pay
wrinkles add character
wedding dress $5000, tux rental $100
people never stare at their chest when you're talking to them
new shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle their feet
one mood all the time
phone conversation are over in 30 seconds flat
they know stuff about tanks
a five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
they can open their own jars
they get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
if someone forgets to invite them, he or she can still be your friend
their underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack
three pairs of shoes are more then enough
they almost never have strap problems in publi
they are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes
everythink on their face stays its original color
the same hairstyle lasts for years, ever decades
they only have to shave their face and neck
they can play with toys all their life
one wallet and one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons
they can wear shorts no matter how their legs look
they can "do" their nails with a pocket knife
they have freedom of chpice concerning growing a mustache
they can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
im not gay but i think everyone in this world deserves love with whoever they chose
repost this if u agree
Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY! :)
We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
Guys repost this if you agree.
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
things to think about
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Ninety-Eight percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
31 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyouat that time of the month.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap because they know it's what they act like or their own best friend/s act like
Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
You know you live in 2010 when:
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. *
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone. * =(
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.*
6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!'
7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object
8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 8th graders know geography more than their parents)
9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of MSN typose, nd smily faces
10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.*
11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.*
12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.*
13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.*
14.) You just realized that there was no number 5 and that it skips straight from 4 to 6.*
15.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity. (im laught my butt of right now lol)XD*
16.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did*
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
12, wow I really sound like a guy but im not
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/You love to shop.(shoping is ok)
You consider cheerleading a sport.(i dont cheerlead but the flips look hard)
You hate wearing the color black.
16, good im more of a girl then a boy =)
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 3.
a ninja girl camouflaged in earth tones (the mark of Athena)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
a green pillow
3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the tv and the guy traped in my basement (lol jk.) i dont have a basement, he's in the closet.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
went into town with dad to get wood, the shop was closing right when we got their =(
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
rereading the chapter I'm working on, about 1/2 way done
9. What are you wearing?
jeans and a green long sleave shirt
10. Did you dream last night?
11. If the answer to 10 was yes, tell us about that dream.
12. When did you last laugh?
IDk today has been boring
13.What is on the walls of the room you are in?
4 paintings and christmas decor
14. Seen anything weird lately?
yes, but i'm not telling you
15. What do you think of this quiz?
im thinking how much longer this is going to last
16. What is the last film you saw?
New years eve
17. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
i dont no, give me a million dollors and i'll tell you
18. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
My eyes are blue
19. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Thats I was a actor inthe hunger games movie! Oh and people woudn' go hungery but I like the first one too!
20. Do you like to dance?
Yes but I suck
21. George Bush:
HAHAHAHAHA I don't want to even think about all the things I could write here!
22. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
every day i think of a new one, i'll get back to you
23. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love(OMG I cried reading this!)
In a guy...
This guy or that guy?
Punk/Goth or Gangster?: Gangster
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
If you could read that, paste this to your profile
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Lewis's Law of Travel:
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is about 10 grand.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
A sane mind is a boring one.
I admit I'm insane, but at least I'm at a normal level.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
teachers are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.
It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.
I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.
Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
"Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill."
"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."
Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.
My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.
If you have 5 fish and 3 of them drown, how many are left?
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Trying is the first step toward failure.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."
“I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” Tony V.
Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.
Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.
I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.
When I was younger, I hated going to weddings cause all the grandmothers would say, "Your next!" That quickly ended when I started saying that to them at funerals.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.
life isn't trying to pass me by, it's trying to run me over
when it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip 'n slide
they say 'guns don't kill people, people kill people.' well, I think that the gun helps. you wouldn't kill too many people standing there yelling 'BANG!'
flying is simple: just throw yourself at the ground and miss
when someone is getting on your nerves, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 4 muscles are needed to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain
nobody's worth your tears, and the ones that are won't make you cry
everyday is a gift, that's why its called the present
I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet
life is not measured in the breaths we take but in the moments that take our breath away
everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film
the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon
don't talk unless you can improve the silence
I'm a nobody, nobody's perfect, therefore I'm perfect
stupidity killed the cat. curiosity got framed
some of the most wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen to some of the most awful, undeserving people you know - people who are, in other words, not you
What a TRUE boyfriend would do for you:
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you
When she start's cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignore's you
When she pull's away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
When she steal's your favorite hat
When she tease's you
When she doesnt answer for a long time
When she look's at you with doubt
When she say's that she like's you
When she grab's at your hands
When she bump's into you
When she tell's you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she repost this bulletin
IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.
If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.
If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
19 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART/BIG ASDA
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.*
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
17. If you get caught, run as fast as you can, grab whatever clothes you can fit in, and put them on, run to the café and pretend to be in line/reading at the table. See if the person runs past you.
18. Bring a friend, have one of you get in a cart, have the other one push, and grab random items off shelves, putting them in your cart and then go up to the cash register and have the one pushing say “How much is this person?” See how they react.
19. Walk around the store pointing to people with your fingers forming a gun and yell “Bang!” When they turn to see you.
Repost this is you laughed... or are planning to do any of these things
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Actual things on products:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On just about all Ads: "And you could get double the product free! Just pay Separate Processing and Handling" (That's not free though...)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On Puffs Plus Lotion: "Contains Lotion" (...Isn't that why I bought it?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a carton of milk: "Warning: This product contains milk." (OMG REALLY?)
On a cup of Dunkin Donuts Hot Chocolate: "Caution: This Beverage is Extremely Hot" (Well, that's why it's called HOT chocolate...)
I WANT A GUY...
who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,
hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on his chest.
A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.
I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
Someone who would let me gossip to him
and just smile and agree with everything I said.
He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then
KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.
Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.
He would take me to the park and
put his hands around my waist and
give me big bearhugs all the time.
He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.
And we'd make out in the pouring rain.
He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,
and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.
I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years
and COUNT STARS with me.
Who would stay home with me on a Friday night
just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.
Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,
who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.
But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the 5 stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning.
You and I walk a fragile line
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
Stood there and watched you walk away
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I know, I know, I just know
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
You and I walk a fragile line
this song sums up New Moon prefectly i think.
add this to your profile if i agree
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.*
4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8Dont use any punctuation
9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.*
10.Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13.Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14.Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15.Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16.Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17.When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18.When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20.And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!*
ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.
THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?
THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.
THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...
80%of u won't repost this. Let us spread God's love with no shame.
Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.
Abortion is murder and it's not just killing a piece of tissue or a clump of cells, it's ending a real human life.
If you're against abortion, re-post this (im against abortion unless the pregnancy endangers the mother's life)
Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.(XD)
None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.*
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.*
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.
50 Annoying Things to do at the Movie Theater
1. Try to start a wave
2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.*
3. Wear a huge Afro wig.
4. Every 15 minutes stand up and then sit back down.
5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”
6. If there is a love scene, reach over in front of you and cover a random person’s eyes.
7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.
8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.
9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.
10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your seat and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person next to you and say, "you never know".
11. Talk really loud on your cell phone.
12. Demand that somebody puts the volume up.
13. Sit at the back, raise your arms to the projector and make shadow puppets on the screen.
14. Bring a laser pen and shoot it at the screen.
15. Wear 3D glasses…no matter what the movie is.
16. Every time something crazy happens, turn to a random person and say, “did you see that?!”
17. Sit criss cross on the floor in the very front of the theater and look up at the screen.
18. Stand in the front corner facing the audience and do sign language translations.
19. Do the same thing stated above (#18) except translate the movie into Spanish for the audience.
20. As people enter the theater, make nametags for them.
21. After the movie go back to the ticket counter and demand a refund because the movie was terrible. Whether or not they give you a refund, buy another ticket for the same movie at a later showing.
22. Half way through the movie run down to the screen, touch it, and then run back to your seat
23. Repeat the lines in the movie.
24. Accuse the person behind you of kicking your seat. Constantly demand that they stop even though they aren’t really kicking your seat.
25. Tape “reserved” signs on every single seat before the movie starts.
26. Get a large group of people and act out a wedding scene. (As if a couple were getting married in the theater) Make sure everyone is in costume, and that there is a bride, groom, priest, bridesmaids, best man, etc. Use the theater aisle as if it were a Church aisle and have a bride walk down to meet the groom standing at the front. Act out the entire scene as if they actually were getting married.
27. Sneak in chickens (find a way) then let them run around freely during the movie.
28. Laugh extremely loud at a line that wasn’t meant to be funny.
29. Wear a white sheet over yourself and cut holes for eyes (like a ghost) then creepily walk around with your arms out chanting “OOOoooOOOOO I am the ghost of the theater! ooooOOOOOooooOOOO!”
30. Ask the person who sells you the ticket to give you his/her autograph
31. Ask for a discount because you are single and entering alone
32. Wear sunglasses and a white cane and ask them how a blind person would be accommodated.
33. Bargain with the ticket price
34. Turn around to the person behind you and say, “Excuse me, can you please kick my seat? Thanks.” Once they start kicking your seat yell “HARDER! HARDER!”
35. Every so often, do an awkward moan.
36. Get the entire theater to sing happy birthday to a random person.
37. Every 10 minutes pretend something has impacted your life. Put your hand on your chest. Gasp, and as you nod your head look at the person next to you and say ”mmmmmmm!”
38. Stare at a random person next to you the entire time.
39. When buying your ticket, ask to pay half the price because you will be leaving half way through the movie.
40. Half way through the movie stand up and yell “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?” and then run off.
41. Ask a random person next to you to explain the movie because you don’t get it.
42. Ask a random person to go buy you popcorn because you don’t want to miss the movie.
43. Before the movie starts get everyone to bow their heads as you lead them in prayer. Pray for the movie. While praying, extend your hands towards the screen.
44. Stand up in the middle of the movie and start a head count.
45. Run up and down the aisles making rocket ship noises
46. Eat the popcorn from a random person sitting next to you.
47. Yell out loud demanding that they pause the movie because you need to use the bathroom.
48. When something is really funny, don’t laugh, instead point at the screen and scream: “L-O-L L-O-L L-O-L!!”
49. Blow your nose into a tissue and then show the contents of the tissue to a random person sitting next to you saying, “Look what I did!”
50. As the credits roll and people start to leave yell, “No! Everyone! Don’t Go! There is Something After the Credits!” After the credits roll and there is nothing say “Just Kidding!” Then run out giggling.*
Girl1: Come to the dark side! We have cookies!
Girl2: Okay*steps over to the dark side*
Girl1: We lied about the cookies! Mwahahhahah!!!!!!!
If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
I want a guy who I can run to with
If it can't be fixed with duct tape, then you haven't used enough.
I like deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it
He who laughs last thinks slowest
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work
I'm not cynical, everything just sucks
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good.
I'm not as dumb as you look
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.
No one ever says "it's only a game" unless their team is winning.
If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.
gummy bears are eating me
one is red
one is blue
the yellow one just ate my shoe
Now I'm running for my life.
The blue one's got a butcher's knife.
gummy bears are eating me
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
friends are God's way of apologizing for family
parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
My mom thought LOL means "Lots of love" so she texted me saying, Grandma died LOL.
In scary movies, the victom always yells, "Hello?" as if the bad guy is gonna be like "Yeah I'm in the kitchen you want a sandwhich?"
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8118423151811 = 98
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11141523125475 = 96 But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 120209202145 = 100
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2211212198920 = 103
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1191911919199147 = 118 So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. (I did Hard Work and had some Knowledge but Attitude got me to where i am now.)
I went to a party, Mom And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom So I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didnt drink and drive, Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right, The party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece, I never knew what was coming, Mom Something I expected least.
Now Im lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, The kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own bloods all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, This girl is going to die.
Im sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Tell daddy to be brave, And when I go to heaven, Put Daddys Girl on my grave.
Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had, Id still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom Im getting really scared. These are my final moments, And Im so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say I love you, Mom So I love you and good-bye.
Help stop drinking and driving!!
Please read my stories and review if you do. every review, big or small, makes me smile =) but i like the longer reviews =)
Unsafe External Link
|Community:||vampires, wolfs, aliens, vikings, and other AU storys|
|Focus:||General: All Categories|