abbydog26
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Poll: How/where did you discover and start reading "and so the prince fell in lovee with the peasent" Vote Now!
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Joined 12-17-11, id: 3536981, Profile Updated: 07-26-13
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

anything that has a * next to it i have done

Hello, my name is Erin. i live in northern california. my 4 storys Im writing right now are a little piece of me,listen to your heart, car crash, and so the prince fell in love with the peasant. i did have another story but no one review it so i deleated it. i Love ASL(amarican sign lauguage) so im writing a story about a deaf girl named Kia who gets imprinted on.

also this might be 1 of the longest profiles you ever read so...enjoy=)

i put a lot of ramdom stuff that i love cuz it makes me laugh or think or want to cry.

the banner for 'and so the prince fell in love with the peasant' by Ysar : http://i369.photobucket.com/albums/oo140/ysar43/Other%20Banners/fa50e2de.png

if you are interested in ASL or deaf history watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKnF9CCYQPQ

if you liked that video go to http://www.d-pan.org/

picture from my storys(eye color may not be the color from the story)

listen to your heart

Kia Nevens: http://www.short-hair-style.com/i-want-red-hair-color-but-which-shade.html

Kia's mom:http://www.hairstylesaction.com/hair-care-wait-6-weeks-for-coloring-hair-back.html/new-women-long-brown-hairstyles-2

Kia's dad (the first one): http://differenthairstylesformen.blogspot.com/

Hinto Nevens (the first one) http://www.quizazz.com/story.php/1186231/Just-Three-Words-Changed-Everything-hearts/3/

Kia's pink sweater: http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/tops/sweaters/PRD1032630/CandiesColdShoulderCrochetSweater.jsp

Brady's car: http://cars.mitula.us/detalle/336/521282912815309/2/1/mustang-greenacres

and so the prince fell in love with the peasent

fountain: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=lionfountain&start=254&hl=en&biw=1725&bih=822&gbv=2&addh=140&tbm=isch&tbnid=lC2TMlplLjxyRM:&imgrefurl=http://www.terragalleria.com/black-white/america/georgia/savannah/picture.usga38380-bw.html&docid=x_Xt1Lok189GyM&imgurl=http://www.terragalleria.com/images/black-white/us-se/usga38380-bw.jpeg&w=326&h=476&ei=wcydT5eIKs7KiQK209GVAQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=214&sig=101479823240465459991&page=7&tbnh=148&tbnw=106&ndsp=46&ved=1t:429,r:21,s:254,i:49&tx=39&ty=86

Emmett's the strongest.
Rosalie's the prettiest.
Edward's the fastest.
Bella's the clumsiest
Alice's the quirkiest.

But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous.

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Twilight

How long did it take you to read the books?

one/two days per book

Who introduced you to the books?

the voices in my head=)

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

borrow them

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

well, SM is'nt doing midnight sun anymore=( so breaking dawn part 2

What's your dream ending to the series?

the same thing happens but sam and emily have a son a leah imprints on him=) happy ending for every one

Favorites: Who is your favorite character?

Edward

Who's your favorite vampire?

Edward

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Embry

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

"Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" Jacob, Eclipse

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

when Edward saves Bella from James

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

after bella's change when Jacob tells her he imprinted on her daughter

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

the battle edward vs victoria in the 3rd book

Which book cover was your favorite?

bree taner

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

YEP

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?

Eclipse

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun since Breaking Dawn is already out

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight sun

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

DUH Edward OF COZ!!

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Bella

Bella or Alice?

Bella

Alice or Jacob?

Jacob

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Jasper

Jasper or Edward

Edward

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmitt

Emmett or Jacob?

Emmett

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?

Billy

Jacob or Sam?

Jacob

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria, she brings back up

Werewolves or Vampires?

Both, you cant have one without the other

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

TV

Are you excited?

Already seen it

What do you think of the casting so far?

Bella isnt a good actrist and jaspers hair keeps changing even though there hair cant grow

Are you going to go see it?

Told u already. I've seen it.

Planning on going with anyone in particular?

OH MY GOD! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IVE FREAKING SEEN IT!

Do you think it will stay true to the book?

NO!!(I no coz I seen it!) BUT STILL IT'S A GOOD MOVIE!!

(A Few Last Things:)

In which book did you like Bella's character best?

breaking dawn, but after she gets turned

How about Edward's?

breaking dawn

Jacob's?

breaking dawn

Alice's?

eclipes

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

EDWARD

Write 12 of your Fave Book characters in whatever order and follow the instructions below:

(Twilight)

1.Embry

2 Aro

3 Bella

4 Carlisle

5 Sam

6 Emily

7 Edward

8 Emmitt

9 Alice

10 Quil

11 Jacob

12 Jasper

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? Emily and Jacob? Nop never

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Yes, when he is not demanding

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? jasper getting emmitt pregannt. lol XD

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? yep, one was about if alice was human when jasper found her.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? aroEmily= YUCK Never in my life

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? sam with alice or sam with quil? well because quil is a guy i would say sam and alice

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve? edward walking in on jasper and aro? lol, i think edward would rip off his ears, trying not to hear there thoughts

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. oo that's easy. when edward left bella got so deprested she tryed to kill her self but quil saw her and saved her. he imprints on her. the imprint effects her and she loves him back.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? ummm... emmitt and embry. i dont think so

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. jasper and Edward. someone who understands me. cuz jasper can fell edwards feelings and edward can read his mind

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?umm embry and carlisle. carlisle never meet esme and embry imprints on him

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three slash? not that i no of

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? yep

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Aro/ Carlisel/sam. i dont think so

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? Quil, i dont what to think about that

why men are never depressed

men are just happier people-

what do you expect from such simple creatures?

their last name stays put

the garage is all theirs

wedding plans take care of themselves

chocolate is just another snack

they can be president

they can never get pregnant

they can wear a white T-shirt to a water park

they can wear NO shirt to a water park

car mechanics tell them the truth

the world is their urinal

they never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky

they don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt

same work, more pay

wrinkles add character

wedding dress $5000, tux rental $100

people never stare at their chest when you're talking to them

new shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle their feet

one mood all the time

phone conversation are over in 30 seconds flat

they know stuff about tanks

a five-day vacation requires only one suitcase

they can open their own jars

they get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

if someone forgets to invite them, he or she can still be your friend

their underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack

three pairs of shoes are more then enough

they almost never have strap problems in publi

they are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes

everythink on their face stays its original color

the same hairstyle lasts for years, ever decades

they only have to shave their face and neck

they can play with toys all their life

one wallet and one pair of shoes-one color for all seasons

they can wear shorts no matter how their legs look

they can "do" their nails with a pocket knife

they have freedom of chpice concerning growing a mustache

they can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

im not gay but i think everyone in this world deserves love with whoever they chose

repost this if u agree

Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY! :)

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls, OR TEXTS, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont 'feel bad', we enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you'.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful' I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either... ;- )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect!
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'I love you'...and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my 'kind.'
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

things to think about

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Ninety-Eight percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I don't like TALKING, so I MUST be a retard.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I don't wear MAKEUP, so I MUST be ugly and disgusting.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a GIRL who doesn't EAT LUNCH, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.(i will next year ;))
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCHED PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm GOOD WITH COMPUTERS, so I must be a GEEK.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I like ROCK, so I must be EMO
I HATE POP, so I must be STUPID I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I DON'T DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. (she stops about a year ago, thank God)

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I dislike TWILIGHT, so I must have no English skills

31 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
2. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
3. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
4. Say "DING!" at each floor. *
4. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
6. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
7. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
8. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
9. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
10. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
11. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
12. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
13. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
14. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
15 Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
16. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
17. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
18. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
19. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
20. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
21. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
22. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. *
23. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. *
24. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
25. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
26. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
27. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
28. Tell people that you can see their aura.
29. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
30. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
31. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." !

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb @#!*% ?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyouat that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. *

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! *

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin " @#!*% !" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds @#!*% that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap because they know it's what they act like or their own best friend/s act like

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human beca
use even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell ?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

You know you live in 2010 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. *

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone. * =(

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.*

6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!'

7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object

8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 8th graders know geography more than their parents)

9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of MSN typose, nd smily faces

10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.*

11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.*

12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.*

13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.*

14.) You just realized that there was no number 5 and that it skips straight from 4 to 6.*

15.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity. (im laught my butt of right now lol)XD*

16.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did*

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.(it depends only when they get like hit in the face with something sooooo like half)
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.(they were awsomeXD)
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

12, wow I really sound like a guy but im not

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/You love to shop.(shoping is ok)
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
You go to your mom for advice.
chapstick.

You consider cheerleading a sport.(i dont cheerlead but the flips look hard)

You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.(me and my friends play tag in macy's)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.(NOPE)
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.(I like star wars)
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around 1 more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.(Yep thats me)
You smile a lot more than you should.(I don't think I ever not smile)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.(Yep)
You like wearing dresses when you can.(only fancy dresses)
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.(sometimes)
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.(Yeppers)
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.( i made my friend katie a zombi once XD)
Like being the star of every thing

16, good im more of a girl then a boy =)

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 3.

a ninja girl camouflaged in earth tones (the mark of Athena)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

a green pillow

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?

World news

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

6:52

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time

7:05

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

the tv and the guy traped in my basement (lol jk.) i dont have a basement, he's in the closet.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

went into town with dad to get wood, the shop was closing right when we got their =(

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

rereading the chapter I'm working on, about 1/2 way done

9. What are you wearing?

jeans and a green long sleave shirt

10. Did you dream last night?

Nop

11. If the answer to 10 was yes, tell us about that dream.

i can't

12. When did you last laugh?

IDk today has been boring

13.What is on the walls of the room you are in?

4 paintings and christmas decor

14. Seen anything weird lately?

yes, but i'm not telling you

15. What do you think of this quiz?

im thinking how much longer this is going to last

16. What is the last film you saw?

New years eve

17. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

i dont no, give me a million dollors and i'll tell you

18. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

My eyes are blue

19. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Thats I was a actor inthe hunger games movie! Oh and people woudn' go hungery but I like the first one too!

20. Do you like to dance?

Yes but I suck

21. George Bush:

HAHAHAHAHA I don't want to even think about all the things I could write here!

22. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

every day i think of a new one, i'll get back to you

23. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Alec

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me you love me.

Girl:I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love(OMG I cried reading this!)

In a guy...
Funny or Serious?: FUNNY!
Cute or Hot?: Both can't I have both
Dark Eyes or Light Eyes?: i Love blue eyes, so light
Long Hair or Short Hair?: short hair
Curly Hair or Straight Hair?: straight
Good Dancer or Good Singer?: Dancer
Jock or Rebel?: Jock
Smoker or Non-smoker?: NON-SMOKER
Druggie or Clean?: CLEAN!
Beard/Mustache or Clean-shaven?: Clean-shaven
Younger or Older?: Older but not to old
Player or Loyal?: loyal duh

This guy or that guy?

Punk/Goth or Gangster?: Gangster
Preppy or Cowboy?: Cowboy
Sweet or Sexy?: Sweet
Well-educated or Dropout?: well-educated
Armani or Abercrombie?: What does that even mean!
City-slicker or Rural Guy?: Rural
Blue, green, grey, or brown eyes?: blue eyes
Contacts or Glasses?: Contacts

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that, paste this to your profile

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Lewis's Law of Travel:
The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

Marriage is grand - and divorce is about 10 grand.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

A sane mind is a boring one.

I admit I'm insane, but at least I'm at a normal level.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

teachers are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

If you have 5 fish and 3 of them drown, how many are left?

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

“I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” Tony V.

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

I'm the kind of person who laughs at a joke three times. Once when it's said, once when it's explained to me, once five minutes later when I finally get it.

When I was younger, I hated going to weddings cause all the grandmothers would say, "Your next!" That quickly ended when I started saying that to them at funerals.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.

life isn't trying to pass me by, it's trying to run me over

when it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip 'n slide

they say 'guns don't kill people, people kill people.' well, I think that the gun helps. you wouldn't kill too many people standing there yelling 'BANG!'

flying is simple: just throw yourself at the ground and miss

when someone is getting on your nerves, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 4 muscles are needed to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them

life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain

nobody's worth your tears, and the ones that are won't make you cry

everyday is a gift, that's why its called the present

I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet

life is not measured in the breaths we take but in the moments that take our breath away

everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film

the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon

don't talk unless you can improve the silence

I'm a nobody, nobody's perfect, therefore I'm perfect

stupidity killed the cat. curiosity got framed

some of the most wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen to some of the most awful, undeserving people you know - people who are, in other words, not you

What a TRUE boyfriend would do for you:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Sweetness

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.

If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.

If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later

and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

19 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART/BIG ASDA

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.*

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. If you get caught, run as fast as you can, grab whatever clothes you can fit in, and put them on, run to the café and pretend to be in line/reading at the table. See if the person runs past you.

18. Bring a friend, have one of you get in a cart, have the other one push, and grab random items off shelves, putting them in your cart and then go up to the cash register and have the one pushing say “How much is this person?” See how they react.

19. Walk around the store pointing to people with your fingers forming a gun and yell “Bang!” When they turn to see you.

Repost this is you laughed... or are planning to do any of these things

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Actual things on products:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On just about all Ads: "And you could get double the product free! Just pay Separate Processing and Handling" (That's not free though...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On Puffs Plus Lotion: "Contains Lotion" (...Isn't that why I bought it?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a carton of milk: "Warning: This product contains milk." (OMG REALLY?)

On a cup of Dunkin Donuts Hot Chocolate: "Caution: This Beverage is Extremely Hot" (Well, that's why it's called HOT chocolate...)

I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then

KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and

put his hands around my waist and

give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

And we'd make out in the pouring rain.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,

and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years

and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night

just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,

who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the 5 stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning.

"Haunted"
by Taylor Swift

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
but I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
something's made your eyes go cold

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But I still mean every word I said to you
He would try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead

Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't see you again
something keeps me holding on to nothing

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

I know, I know, I just know
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't go back, I'm haunted

Oh

You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I'd see it break.
Never thought I'd see it...

this song sums up New Moon prefectly i think.

add this to your profile if i agree

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"

Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"

Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"

Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

Kiss on the Neck = "We belong together"

Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...

Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"

Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"

Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"

Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"

Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"

picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.*

4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8Dont use any punctuation

9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.*

10.Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13.Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14.Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15.Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16.Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17.When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18.When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20.And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!*

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

80%of u won't repost this. Let us spread God's love with no shame.

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

Abortion is murder and it's not just killing a piece of tissue or a clump of cells, it's ending a real human life.

If you're against abortion, re-post this (im against abortion unless the pregnancy endangers the mother's life)

Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.(XD)

Friendship

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.*

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.*

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

50 Annoying Things to do at the Movie Theater

1. Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.*

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 minutes stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a love scene, reach over in front of you and cover a random person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your seat and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person next to you and say, "you never know".

11. Talk really loud on your cell phone.

12. Demand that somebody puts the volume up.

13. Sit at the back, raise your arms to the projector and make shadow puppets on the screen.

14. Bring a laser pen and shoot it at the screen.

15. Wear 3D glasses…no matter what the movie is.

16. Every time something crazy happens, turn to a random person and say, “did you see that?!”

17. Sit criss cross on the floor in the very front of the theater and look up at the screen.

18. Stand in the front corner facing the audience and do sign language translations.

19. Do the same thing stated above (#18) except translate the movie into Spanish for the audience.

20. As people enter the theater, make nametags for them.

21. After the movie go back to the ticket counter and demand a refund because the movie was terrible. Whether or not they give you a refund, buy another ticket for the same movie at a later showing.

22. Half way through the movie run down to the screen, touch it, and then run back to your seat
yelling, “I touched the screen! I touched the screen!”

23. Repeat the lines in the movie.

24. Accuse the person behind you of kicking your seat. Constantly demand that they stop even though they aren’t really kicking your seat.

25. Tape “reserved” signs on every single seat before the movie starts.

26. Get a large group of people and act out a wedding scene. (As if a couple were getting married in the theater) Make sure everyone is in costume, and that there is a bride, groom, priest, bridesmaids, best man, etc. Use the theater aisle as if it were a Church aisle and have a bride walk down to meet the groom standing at the front. Act out the entire scene as if they actually were getting married.

27. Sneak in chickens (find a way) then let them run around freely during the movie.

28. Laugh extremely loud at a line that wasn’t meant to be funny.

29. Wear a white sheet over yourself and cut holes for eyes (like a ghost) then creepily walk around with your arms out chanting “OOOoooOOOOO I am the ghost of the theater! ooooOOOOOooooOOOO!”

30. Ask the person who sells you the ticket to give you his/her autograph

31. Ask for a discount because you are single and entering alone

32. Wear sunglasses and a white cane and ask them how a blind person would be accommodated.

33. Bargain with the ticket price

34. Turn around to the person behind you and say, “Excuse me, can you please kick my seat? Thanks.” Once they start kicking your seat yell “HARDER! HARDER!”

35. Every so often, do an awkward moan.

36. Get the entire theater to sing happy birthday to a random person.

37. Every 10 minutes pretend something has impacted your life. Put your hand on your chest. Gasp, and as you nod your head look at the person next to you and say ”mmmmmmm!”

38. Stare at a random person next to you the entire time.

39. When buying your ticket, ask to pay half the price because you will be leaving half way through the movie.

40. Half way through the movie stand up and yell “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?” and then run off.

41. Ask a random person next to you to explain the movie because you don’t get it.

42. Ask a random person to go buy you popcorn because you don’t want to miss the movie.

43. Before the movie starts get everyone to bow their heads as you lead them in prayer. Pray for the movie. While praying, extend your hands towards the screen.

44. Stand up in the middle of the movie and start a head count.

45. Run up and down the aisles making rocket ship noises

46. Eat the popcorn from a random person sitting next to you.

47. Yell out loud demanding that they pause the movie because you need to use the bathroom.

48. When something is really funny, don’t laugh, instead point at the screen and scream: “L-O-L L-O-L L-O-L!!”

49. Blow your nose into a tissue and then show the contents of the tissue to a random person sitting next to you saying, “Look what I did!”

50. As the credits roll and people start to leave yell, “No! Everyone! Don’t Go! There is Something After the Credits!” After the credits roll and there is nothing say “Just Kidding!” Then run out giggling.*

Girl1: Come to the dark side! We have cookies!

Girl2: Okay*steps over to the dark side*

Girl1: We lied about the cookies! Mwahahhahah!!!!!!!

If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

I want a guy who I can run to with
eyes filled with tears,
red cheeks,
messed up hair,
mascara running down my face,
and the first thing he says to me is...
WHOSE ASS
AM I KICKING?

If it can't be fixed with duct tape, then you haven't used enough.

I like deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good.

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the tme to do it.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.

No one ever says "it's only a game" unless their team is winning.

If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

ABCDEFG

gummy bears are eating me

one is red

one is blue

the yellow one just ate my shoe

Now I'm running for my life.

The blue one's got a butcher's knife.

ABCDEFG

gummy bears are eating me

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

friends are God's way of apologizing for family

parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

My mom thought LOL means "Lots of love" so she texted me saying, Grandma died LOL.

In scary movies, the victom always yells, "Hello?" as if the bad guy is gonna be like "Yeah I'm in the kitchen you want a sandwhich?"

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8118423151811 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11141523125475 = 96 But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 120209202145 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2211212198920 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1191911919199147 = 118 So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. (I did Hard Work and had some Knowledge but Attitude got me to where i am now.)

I went to a party, Mom And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didnt drink and drive, Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right, The party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece, I never knew what was coming, Mom Something I expected least.

Now Im lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, The kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own bloods all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, This girl is going to die.

Im sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Tell daddy to be brave, And when I go to heaven, Put Daddys Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had, Id still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom Im getting really scared. These are my final moments, And Im so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say I love you, Mom So I love you and good-bye.

Help stop drinking and driving!!

Please read my stories and review if you do. every review, big or small, makes me smile =) but i like the longer reviews =)

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Wisp by Cris reviews
Edward wins more than he bargained for at what was supposed to be a friendly poker game. AH. Ysar made me my banner!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 325,303 - Reviews: 13763 - Favs: 5,354 - Follows: 6,716 - Updated: 11/20/2014 - Published: 4/22/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cliff Diving by hawaiiangrl reviews
Sam imprints on Bella when he is cliff diving. Sam and Bella begin to figure out what they were when an unexpected guests comes back with disturbing news.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 36,597 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 637 - Updated: 9/29/2014 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Bella, Sam
Coping with Change by The Plasma reviews
Bella has Asperger syndrome, a form of autism, and she is forced to move to Forks to live with her father while her mother is traveling with her step-dad, while in Forks she must deal with a new environment, a new routine, new people, and new feelings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 61,812 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 6/13/2014 - Published: 12/10/2009 - [Bella, Edward] - Complete
In Too Deep by TragicallyMagical reviews
"So we're soul mates?" And all it took was a nod from him to confirm it. That day when I had wanted to die, the day I lost my brother was the day he saw me for the first time. It was the day that he finally noticed me after all these years The day that he imprinted on me. Brady Imprint Story!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 231,991 - Reviews: 332 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 6/7/2014 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Brady
Heavenly Scent by Infinitypoet reviews
On Bella's first day of school, Edward finds himself completely consumed by her scent. Everything about her sings to him. The La Tua Cantante connection is much different canon. AU, M Edward's POV
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 22 - Words: 113,111 - Reviews: 1380 - Favs: 2,228 - Follows: 928 - Updated: 5/24/2014 - Published: 9/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Want A Mommy! by TheStrong1 reviews
Summary: MOBWARD! DADWARD! 34 year old Edward Cullen is the head of the Cullen Family, he's deadly, he's charming, and he's a single father with a small boy who's greatest wish it to have a Mom. 21 year old Isabella is sweet, maternal, loving and good natured. When the Cullen boys crash into her world, she finds her lonely simple life is never going to be the same.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,104 - Reviews: 1623 - Favs: 2,301 - Follows: 3,355 - Updated: 4/22/2014 - Published: 1/5/2013 - Bella, Edward
The Black Pirate by madaboutforks reviews
When Lady Renesmee de Cullen's ship is attacked by buccaneers, led by the infamous Black Pirate, she suddenly finds herself thrown into a dangerous world of passion and adventure. A swashbuckling Twipirate romance. AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 42,502 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Bloody Fingerprints by Emily Bones reviews
Vampires have revealed themselves and Bella is living in a world trying to adjust to a new species. She is sick of other people and just wants to get out of her backwater town. She didn't want to become a vampire soul-mate, but life's unpredictable. OOC. AU. UP FOR ADOPTION
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 21 - Words: 102,286 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 3/5/2014 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Bella, Edward
Mr Sun by sevenblankpages reviews
My doctor told me it was iron deficiency anemia. My body couldn't make enough red-blood cells to carry oxygen to my brain, and as a result, I was constantly cold. Until he looked at me. UPDATE: A revised & retitled under Mr. Sunshine...go find it! :)
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,799 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 2/21/2014 - Published: 12/26/2011 - Jared, Kim
A Work Of Fiction by Team Edward Rules All reviews
After another hideous date, twenty-one year old writer Bella Swan decides to create her perfect man in the form of words. She never dreamed that the next morning, she'd wake up to find him in her apartment. And what's even stranger is that he believes he's known her for years.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 43,475 - Reviews: 446 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 2/1/2014 - Published: 10/2/2012 - [Edward, Bella]
Warren Sisters by WaNderLuSt2 reviews
When Claire's mother found out about imprinting she did the only thing she could think of and ran. Now fourteen years later the Warren sisters' come to La Push. The pack feels a connection with the middle sister. Is it possible Claire has returned?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,136 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 1/12/2014 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Claire
Fatum Lamia by Nerdette Love reviews
A vampire film star, a human librarian and a paranormal phenomena. When a vampire finds his mate, how possessive will he become? Past horrors, a little boy and a destined romance come together to tell a tale of the joining of two broken souls. E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 75,951 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 628 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Bella, Edward
Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F Words by anhanninen reviews
When man-whore, foul-mouthed Edward's life takes an unexpected turn, he's left with a baby to raise. With the help of a friendly neighbor, he learns sometimes the unexpected could be the best thing that's ever happened. All Human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 142,732 - Reviews: 6292 - Favs: 5,922 - Follows: 4,740 - Updated: 12/1/2013 - Published: 11/3/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
All For You by xXCourageousXx reviews
The meeting with the wolves didn't go quite as everyone had planned. Especially not when a wolf imprints on Bella. Bella/Brady.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 52,622 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 11/14/2013 - Published: 2/25/2012 - [Bella, Brady] - Complete
Unexpecting Connections by JasonMorganfan87 reviews
A class project reveals a surprising connection between Bella and a member of the Cullen family. How will this change her relationship with the entire family? And will Bella be put endager when others learn of the connection?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,207 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 10/12/2013 - Published: 2/6/2012 - Bella, Jasper
Paralyzed by MusikMuse reviews
A/H ASelfless Bella has given up everything so that her brother, Emmett, could follow his dream to be a pro football player. When an accident leaves her crippled, her brother comes to her rescue and offers her a place to live. She meets Edward Cullen, star quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Will sparks fly, or will the sh** it the fan? Read to find out! Read & Review please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 33 - Words: 104,864 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 9/11/2010 - [Bella, Edward] - Complete
Camelot by brb bbe reviews
I've just hit a nudist. With my car. And I'm pretty sure he's dead. Oh, and by the way, did I mention when he woke up - he stared at me like a lunatic? Yep, I had just hit a nutter with no clothes on. Could this day get any worse? JACOB X OC DURING BD UNDERGOING EDITING
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 163,074 - Reviews: 1043 - Favs: 659 - Follows: 648 - Updated: 10/8/2013 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Jacob, OC
Contractually Bound by LyricalKris reviews
She'd cost him everyone he'd ever loved. Surely a few months of marriage wasn't too high a price for her to pay in compensation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 82,259 - Reviews: 5452 - Favs: 3,067 - Follows: 2,918 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hell is Empty and All the Devils Are Here by xoxThis.Is.How.It.Goes.Downxox reviews
In their fifth year at Hogwarts, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy had a baby girl. Now, dark secrets will be brought to the surface- Lord Voldemort has a task that Draco must complete- if he fails, his daughter and girlfriend will be killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,849 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 7/16/2013 - Published: 1/25/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M.
The Princess and the E by CLWN reviews
When Bella meets the mysterious 'E' he calls her his Princess and she's soon drawn into his dangerous world of organised crime. But this is no fairytale, so when Edward finds himself in trouble, it's up to his Princess to save him. OOC/AH. ExB AxJ RxEm.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 31 - Words: 214,813 - Reviews: 3526 - Favs: 3,970 - Follows: 2,902 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 4/19/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Project by crystalann0821 reviews
Bella is called by The Major of the Vampire army to help in a way this human nutritionist never thought possible. will she feel the mating pull the same as he does?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,895 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 487 - Updated: 4/12/2013 - Published: 3/20/2012 - Bella, Jasper
Dine and Dash by KittyTylz reviews
Bella gets dared dine&dash but is caught by the restaurants owner, Edward Cullen. He's a 19-year-old dangerously attractive but deadly gangster. The well connected leader of the Shadow Fangs, he also happens to be the enemy of the gang her best friend Jacob belongs to and she's stuck in his territory to avoid a permanent record. AH/AU,Possessward,Torch Awards Peoples Choice Winner
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 222,439 - Reviews: 2361 - Favs: 1,874 - Follows: 2,165 - Updated: 4/10/2013 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Edward, Bella
Nobody's Little Girl by HelloElla reviews
A billionaire couple searches for their long lost daughter. A lonely, troubled young man finds and gives refuge to a homeless girl with no name. Paths are crossed and hearts are given, but you can't keep what was never yours.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,863 - Reviews: 5751 - Favs: 4,304 - Follows: 3,597 - Updated: 1/29/2013 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Never Let Me Go by TragicallyMagical reviews
After I was diagnosed with Huntington's disease I had one rule I felt compelled to follow. Don't fall in love when you have an incurable disease that's going to kill you. But looking at Collin all I wanted to do was forget what was happening to me, what was eventually going to rule my life, and let him in. I just wanted to live without worrying about tomorrow. Collin Imprint Story!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,310 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Collin
Unrequited by Perry Maxwell reviews
AH, BPOV: Edward left Bella almost a year ago, upending her whole world. What happens when Bella receives a phone call that just might shatter it? "Wait, Alice…Edward is dying?" I choked out.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 106,836 - Reviews: 4431 - Favs: 2,977 - Follows: 2,870 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tears Fell Into The Ocean by Just-Soldier-On reviews
I'm a girl who's life has been ripped and torn from the impact of bullying. We decided to start fresh on a tiny reservation in Washington, seemingly named La Push, a place that consists of cloud and rain, a place where we barely see a ray of sun.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,353 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Jacob - Complete
New Town, New Life, New Love by freddieandgeorgie reviews
My family moved to the reservation my mom grew up on. When she goes over to see her childhood friend Sue she takes me with her. Little did i know that on the other side of that door was the guy who would change my mind and feelings forever. Imprint Story
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,419 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Seth
Pets and slaves by writersblock335 reviews
Vampire keeps humans as slaves or pets, bella is a 'runt' who has lost her familiy to slavery, edward is a rich and famous vampire who wins bella in a bet,can diffrences attract?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,174 - Reviews: 823 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 648 - Updated: 11/10/2012 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Bella, Edward
Midnight Sun Continued by AllisCullen reviews
I pick up where Stephenie Meyer left off, in the edition of MS she posted on her website. She finished before the end of Chapter 12, which I think is part of Twlight chapter 13, and I just pick up there. ALL EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 144,644 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 10/14/2012 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Bella, Edward
In Love with a Wolf by XxBloodyredrosexX reviews
One day Bella finds a bronze wolf in the forest. The wolf, suddenly attached, now visits Bella on afternoons and they sleep under a tree sometimes. Til one day she wakes up to a man, not a wolf. Possessive Edward *Full sum inside!* MATURE!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 61,277 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 629 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 9/23/2012 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Bella, Edward
Waking Up by lookalittlegreen reviews
After a terrible car wreck, the 8-month-pregnant Bella slips into a coma. This short story documents her experience of waking up. Rated T just to be on the safe side for very mild language. All Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,735 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 9/17/2012 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Catching Fire And Burning Down by Tare-Bear reviews
The effect it has on him is nothing short of satisfying. But wrong, so, so wrong, and different and not me. It's the hunger. The side of me that I didn't think would be. That wants things like this; nakedness, beds, Peeta. And so it's not really me, who reaches out and grasps his wrist when he makes to stand and leave, it's the want. The fire begging for more fuel. *Rewritten*
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 23 - Words: 99,646 - Reviews: 1140 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 804 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Katniss E., Peeta M. - Complete
A May to December Romance by Positively 4th Street reviews
My name is Isabella Swan and today, I signed a contract that would put me in the steel tight clutches of a man I didn't know, for four years. A girl's gotta pay for college somehow, right? AH. Come meet 'Sugar Daddy' Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 142,603 - Reviews: 7766 - Favs: 8,256 - Follows: 9,903 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 1/7/2011 - Bella, Edward
There Will Be Freedom by johnnyboy7 reviews
Sequel to the story There Will Be Blood. Two years have passed. Bella and Edward are safe on their island but will the dark underworld of crime pull them back in? Rated M for language, lemons, dark scenes, and violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 42 - Words: 319,532 - Reviews: 11890 - Favs: 5,970 - Follows: 4,205 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I'm Right Here by LiveLaughLoveDreamHopeSmile reviews
I hugged my knees to my chest as the pain of the imprint ripped through me. I felt someone sit down next to me; I looked up and saw Brady. I bit back a sob, but the tears didn't stop falling. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer."I'm right here,"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 36,712 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 7/14/2012 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Brady
Three fallen angels looking for help by Sammieatszombies reviews
Jared has three sisters who live with his 'Step' father who beats them up everyday for 4 years. When the Sisters Decide to Go back to La Push they have a few surprises along the way. A Seth, Embry and Jared story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,660 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 2/29/2012 - Jared, Embry
The Bad girl and her Werewolf by taydortot reviews
Wild child Ace Black finds herself in la push with severe injuries and a huge protective werewolf shadowing her every move. With a damaged past and unsure future will she give into the imprint. And intense passionate story beginning to end M for cursing
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 40,807 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 5/22/2012 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Paul
Vindicated by JacklynnFrost reviews
Bella is kidnapped and given to Edward who is a son of the Volturi Crime family, which makes their money through human trafficking. Mafia, mob, some violence, Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 138,013 - Reviews: 1087 - Favs: 1,996 - Follows: 979 - Updated: 4/25/2012 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I'm Back Miss Me? by ClaudiaPattinsonCullenXxX reviews
Bella was nerdy, ugly and had no friends. She was also bullied by Edward and his clan. She left to live with her mom and is now back as the worlds hottest young model. What will happen... Summary is rubbish but the story is better
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,321 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Bella, Edward
Run for me by EverythingIsDifferent reviews
Prim's POV during Catching Fire. From the announcement of the Quarter Quell onward. Will be regularly updated at LEAST every other day, if not everyday.
Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 44 - Words: 76,143 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Prim E. - Complete
The Meaning of Life by artemis lecter reviews
What if Jacob HAD imprinted on Bella in New Moon? And how would it have changed the way Bella felt?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,439 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 12/6/2009 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Wading in the Surf by FindSarah reviews
JacobxOC. Aurora is your typical California girl; laid back and loves to surf. When her parents tell her they are moving to Forks, she couldn't help but grin at this new opportunity to meet new people and possible cute small town boys.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,901 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 2/16/2012 - Jacob
Don't Take the Girl by EmmaleeWrites05 reviews
Bella and Edward go through life together, and Edward only has one request...Please Don't Take The Girl
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,435 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 3/21/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Less than dirt More than Diamonds by taydortot reviews
"Society and I had a mutual understanding: I was worthless, nothing, less than dirt, apparently the greek god following me hadn't gotten the message." imprinting fic Jacob/OC Lemons Language...Passion Pain... NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,226 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 3/12/2012 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Jacob
Expect the Unpredictable by Gothicwolfgirl reviews
Starts off in the part of New Moon where Bella goes to see Jacob after he ignores her. After a pack member phases in front of her, later apoligizes and imprnts on her. What will happen? Who will imprint on her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,145 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 3/2/2012 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Bella, Paul
Protector, Lover, Friend by anyaloves24 reviews
I like La Push, I don't know why. It just feels like I belong here, like it's home. I know it sounds ridiculous, I've never even spoken to anyone who lives here. I just find myself wanting to go back, like somethings waiting for me there.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,475 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Embry
My Little Angel by orangegirlie reviews
Charlie abuses Renee. While at the hospital she fears for her and baby Bella's life. She confesses everything to Carlisle, and has the Cullens adopt little Bella. No Jacob. Better than Summary.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,461 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Bella, Edward
The Start of Our Lives by xoxThis.Is.How.It.Goes.Downxox reviews
After a drunken one night stand, bushy-haired bookworm Hermione Granger finds out that she is pregnant to none other than Draco Malfoy. They begin their lives as teenage parents and learn to live together and maybe even eventually fall in love? R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 76,999 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 1/25/2012 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Burning Sun by AutumnSunLight reviews
"His smile lit up my world." What if Bella had kissed Jake in the truck the night after she cliff dived, before Alice showed up?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,855 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Bella, Jacob
Lying for the Abuser by my-bronze-haired-angel reviews
Charlie hates his daughter and rapes and abuses her everyday.When she calls the ambulance what will Charlie and the Cullens do? Charlie OOC Adult for rape and launguge.*I own nothing it all belongs to Mrs.Meyer i'm just playing with the characters*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 77,510 - Reviews: 609 - Favs: 461 - Follows: 473 - Updated: 12/26/2011 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Chronicles of a Diabetic Imprintee by mariposablossom reviews
Lunchbox with snacks. Check. Insulin and needles. Done. Glucometer and strips. Always. Emergency gluco-shot. Of course. Werewolf boyfriend. Obviou – wait a sec, how did that get there?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,895 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 11/26/2011 - Seth, Collin
The Ties That Bind by NicoleTwilight reviews
Edward's POV of Bella's pregnancy, burning and awakening in Breaking Dawn. Covers all the missing moments with Edward, Bella and the Cullens, and what they went through. See what happened after Bella ran into Rosalie's arms at the airport...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 201,126 - Reviews: 1103 - Favs: 1,033 - Follows: 559 - Updated: 10/29/2011 - Published: 5/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
I'll Fight For You by McKStar reviews
What if Edward did fight against the newborns? What if Edward left Bella at a campsite with Seth and a cell phone? What if someone got hurt? No character deaths! Rated T for slight sensitivity.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 7/25/2011 - Edward, Bella
Pregnant? What makes you think that? by sacha-lee reviews
What if Bella and Edward did have sex in the meadow at the end of Eclipse? What if Bella became pregnant... what if the pregnancy was as it should be, normal? POST ECLIPSE ExB Fluff Normal pairings. I love reviews
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 44,944 - Reviews: 779 - Favs: 631 - Follows: 504 - Updated: 7/17/2011 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Bred by MoneyTunes10 reviews
Bella's purpose in this world is to produce human-vampire hybrids…she is a commodity…this is her story as the chosen human to breed hybrids for the Cullens. AU/OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 31,580 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 9/19/2010 - Edward, Bella
There Will Be Blood by johnnyboy7 reviews
Edward Cullen,25,the son of a Chicago mob boss. He is second-in-command, cold and dangerous. Bella Swan,18,small town girl who has just enrolled as a freshman at Northwestern. A story about how love can survive in the cruelest of worlds.Very OCC.Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 48 - Words: 368,286 - Reviews: 12348 - Favs: 9,272 - Follows: 4,131 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Arena, baby by Kaylarea reviews
Takes place in Cathching Fire. Katniss and Peeta are in the arena again trying survive, but things get complicated, when Peea wasn't lying and Katniss and him are married and pregnant. Will they be able to win and save their child?
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,402 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Katniss E., Peeta M.
Out of the Dark and into the Sun by Taylor-Lynn95 reviews
Edward left Bella, and Sam imprints on her when he finds her. R&R :
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,544 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Bella, Sam
Solar Flare by lizziestar reviews
Seth was worried he was never going to imprint, until he met Erin Morgan. But Erin's keeping something from him. Will he find out what? And what will Carlisle discover that not even Erin knew about herself?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 47 - Words: 84,074 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Seth - Complete
Praying for Time by Ava Abney reviews
Violet Clark has just been imprinted on by the werewolf, Collin. She has also just been diagnosed with cancer. Acute myeloid leukemia, to be exact. Now, Violet and Collin must confront her treatment and the possibility of her death. CollinxOC SethxOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 39,861 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 3/19/2010 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Collin, Seth
Unexpected by Anon1967 reviews
Right after Eclipse. What if Edward and Bella had not waited, and Bella became pregnant right after graduation? What if it was a normal pregnancy, how would Bella and Edward handle it? Fanfic of them starting a family, Breaking Dawn never happens.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,542 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 11/15/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Edward, Bella
Fix The World Up For You by shopluvva33 reviews
THIS STORY IS ADOPTED FROM Twilightaddict471993! In this story vampires imprint. When Edward sees Bella Swan, the new girl, Edwards knows he has found his imprint, but Bella doesnt want to know. Will their love win out or will someone get in the way?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,074 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/18/2009 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
Expecting by topaz addiction reviews
Disregards what happens in Eclipse. Cute little oneshots about Bella being pregnant. Some fun Cullen times await! Rated T just incase!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,390 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 2/7/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Complete
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And So the Prince Fell in Love with the Peasant reviews
Vampires rule the world. Vampires can imprint on human girls. but the furture king, Edward, is not allowed to imprint, he must marry a vampire.What happens when Edward finds a peasant named Bella hurt and he imprints on her. full summary inside. R&R AU banner made by Ysar
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 42,484 - Reviews: 785 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 748 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Bella, Edward
listen to your heart reviews
Kia Nevens,her brother,and parents moves to la push.but a young werewolf imprints on her.problem 1, Kia is 95% deaf. problem 2 her brother is also a lapush wolf. but will this be a road block in Brady and Kia's relationship, or a way to become closer.R&R real GLOSS and ASL grammer.R&R great story 4 both hearing a deaf readers. on brake
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,202 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/20/2012 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Brady
Car Crash reviews
edward went hunting and bella gets into a car crash. will she be ok? after new moon. two-shot. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,664 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/14/2012 - Bella, Edward
a small piece of me reviews
it all started with a ripped photo of Jaspers mother, but will it turn up some old family roots? what if Jasper's sister is Bella's many great grandmother. Now Jasper has the decendants he always wanted and a piece of his sister that he thought he lost
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,054 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 42 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Bella, Jasper
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