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Joined 12-17-11, id: 3538421, Profile Updated: 12-12-12
Author has written 15 stories for South Park.


I don't care if the review in its entirety is ":)" or "lol" or "meh". Just...let me know that you actually read it. Every new reader who comments on my shit is like a nugget of sunshine lighting up my heart.

Would you be my nugget of sunshine?

I write South Park fanfiction in the form of scripts (usually). The scripts are typically similar in length to half-hour episodes.

My scripts take place when the boys are in third and fourth grade. They often include an original character named Charlie Pierzynski. They are rated T for naughty language. There is no sexual content--just (immature) innuendo. I do not write slash or sex-explicit fanfiction and I do not (intentionally) read said fanfiction. Fourth graders should not engage in butt sex. (Additionally, fourth graders should not engage in vaginal sex. Also, it disturbs me that people find it gratifying to envision older versions of children--cartoons, yes, but children nonetheless--engaging in explicit sexual acts. ...Pedophiles. [Avoids flames.])

Original Characters: My Defense

If you hate original characters in fanfiction, I can't say I blame you. They usually suck. In my defense, my character scores well on Mary Sue tests, and she is not intended to be a fictionalized version of myself. The reason I include an original character is because I have trouble allowing myself to work with only the canon characters. Trey Parker and Matt Stone already perfected South Park. I have to make a few changes before I can do anything but embarrass myself. [Heck, maybe I'm doing it anyway, but in the anonymity of the internet, I feel relatively safe.]

I try to write my "episodes" in a style reminiscent of actual South Park episodes, with the canons as in-character and the plot-lines as wacky as possible. In other words, I try to make them funny. [Whether or not I succeed at this, you be the judge.] Basically, I'm writing about the kids at the time when the show is set--in third and fourth grade--but with an extra character tossed into the mix.

So what I'm going to do is introduce my character. [I figure you can read this and decide whether or not you really want to bother with reading my shit or not, because the last thing I want to do is annoy you with a character you'd like to punch in the face.] My character, Charlie Pierzynski, is a naive, nervous, impressionable, unpopular, good-natured, easily manipulated little loser. She joins the kids' class in November of third grade as an eight-year-old. She is reasonably good-natured and clever (albeit naive), but she doesn’t make friends easily. Although she is not shy, Charlie is not skilled in making good first impressions. She is not a good conversationalist; she can be somewhat blunt and un-talkative in casual conversations. In the stories I've written so far, her circle of friends is limited to Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny (and sometimes Butters). If she thinks she'll benefit from a Cartman-esque scheme, even if it involves, say, claiming she's fundraising to fight brain cancer when she's actually raising money for scrotal elephantitis, she'll usually be willing to go with it. And like everyone in South Park, she enjoys making fun of her friends.

Also...she's not there for the pairing. She's there because South Park needed a female child willing to be pushed around by the boys. And that I don't hate. Sorry, Wendy fans, but to be perfectly honest, Wendy is a canonical Mary Sue. And kind of a bitch.

And my last appeal, to those who remain skeptical: as I said, I'm writing comedies. I'm making fun of these characters, and I'm not sparing Charlie any more than I'm sparing Cartman. Laugh at her. That's what I want you to do.

The South Park Commandments: Please do not hate me for this, for I enjoy jokes and bitchiness.

1. Thou shalt watch the television program South Park prior to writing fanfictions about the Blessed Program.
2. Thou shalt have a sense of goddamn humor, for Christ's sake.
3. Thou shalt respect the sanctity of childhood innocence and avoid gut-wrenching dramas about the angst of homosexual emo versions of the amusing and youthful characters from an animated satirical black comedy program.
4. Slash not the characters without just cause, lest the characters change form and become unrecognizable.
5. Thou shalt not insert thyself into thine stories under the guise of an original character.
6. Thou shalt not make use of the words yaoi, yuri, seme, uke, kawaii, or bishi within this fandom, for such words have appropriate English counterparts.
7. Thou shalt not make the Blessed Characters into objects of sexual desire, for pedophilia is totally not cool.
8. Calm thine tits in regards to Mysterion.
9. Thou shalt not take the Holy Creations of Parker and Stone too seriously.
10. Should thee be unable to adhere to these tenets, thou shalt take thy ass to a fandom for a more appropriate television program, movie, book, or comic series. Get thee to an anime fandom!

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FBI JUSTICE LEAGUE by Sleepingkit reviews
The gang's back, rising from the failure of the 'Coon and Friends', and now are the FBI JUSTICE LEAGUE! They wish to do better as a team, and fight against those who are criminals. Will they prosper or fall once again?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,227 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/22/2012 - Published: 6/16/2012
Snowpocalypse by Wedjat reviews
After a massive snowstorm, Kenny does whatever it takes to give his sister the Christmas she deserves…even if it means working for Cartman and fighting an army of polar bears. COMPLETE.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,649 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Mysterion, Karen McCormick - Complete
Super Broflovski Brothers by RockHead South Park reviews
Adventure is the name of the game when the first born daughter of the Royal Canadian Family is abducted. Can Sir Ike Broflovski and His reluctant brother Kyle Save the day? or will an evil force rein over Canada once more?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,322 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 2/10/2012 - Ike B., Kyle B.
What best friends do: CoverUp by Links6 reviews
Stan usually forgets his and Wendy's anniversaries... good thing Kyle is always to the rescue, but not without some revenge attached. Rated for Language!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Proms suck part 1 by Finni101 reviews
There's a prom at the kids school and Kenny asks Nora to go with him to the prom and she says yes, but Kenny might not be so happy as he thinks he'll be when he goes to the prom.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,269 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Kenny M., Karen McCormick - Complete
Nora, The Norwegian by Finni101 reviews
Nora has just moved into south park and she misses her home country. When Kenny finds out about this he suggest that going on a field trip might suit her, but that idea might not go so well with the other kids at school.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,487 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Complete
It all started in South Park by SP1gooner reviews
When a new boy from England moves to South Park, how will he cope with the changes and how will he make new friends and enemies. OC.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,123 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 1/4/2012
Tales of Toddlerhood by Madam RedRose25 reviews
Read scenes that took place when Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters were ages four, five and six. Cuteness and chaos are sure to arise! Accepting any ideas you may have for this.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 45,735 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Stan M., Kyle B.
Terrance and Phillip A to Z by Bridge7112 reviews
26 One shots about Canada's biggest stars since these two don't get enough love. Will be updated weekly.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,872 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Phillip, Terrance
The End by Wedjat reviews
Tensions rise in South Park with the appearance of foreign exchange students and Stan's inevitable move. The entire town is thrown into turmoil and the stage is set for a final confrontation between Kyle and Cartman.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,076 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Kyle B., Mysterion
The Gambler by sevenperseids reviews
Albus Dumbledore's thoughts during the moments before his death. One shot, complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 584 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/4/2005 - Albus D. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sing a Song of South Park reviews
A collection of songs and parodies from Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and more. The following lyrics contain coarse language and due to their content should not be read by anyone.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,439 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011
Mistletoe Immunity reviews
In this musical Christmas adventure, Charlie starts a wide-reaching social movement to make Christmas accessible to Jews, Cartman grants a little girl's impossible Christmas wish, Stan makes a stand against mistletoe, and Kenny wants a Blue Ryder Carbine-Action Four-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. TSP Episode 7.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,375 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/12/2012 - Published: 6/17/2012 - Eric Cartman, Kyle B.
Fall of the House of Pierzynski reviews
With the help of Mr. Mackey and Damien, Charlie processes some of her childhood memories. Meanwhile, Cartman, with Chef as an unwitting accomplice, exacts revenge on Western culture for feminizing cooking. TSP episode 106.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,047 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Eric Cartman, Mr. Mackey
Gender Confusion: The Trilogy reviews
In this revised compilation of the first three Threadbare South Park episodes, a new kid with an abusive parent moves to South Park. Hilarity ensues. Starring Kyle, Cartman, Stan, and this one other kid. Don't like OCs? Me neither. Give this one a shot. TSP episodes 101, 102, and 103.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 26,111 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 5/21/2012 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Of Towels and Men reviews
Even when all hope is lost, love can be a miraculous thing... / Christowelie drabble. MOAR PLZ!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Christophe, S. McTowelie - Complete
Dating: It's a Process reviews
TSP Valentine's Day Special. Kyle and Charlie become "boyfriend and girlfriend". No plot? No problem! Sequel to "One of the Girls".
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,821 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/16/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Kyle B. - Complete
Mysterion Has TittyVision reviews
This story is my pride and joy; my gift to the realm of comedy. "Greetings, fellow superheroes! I am... Stethoscope!" Coon & Friends begrudgingly allow an oddball superhero to work as their secretary. Meanwhile, Mysterion deals with some titty issues. TSP Episode #203
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,381 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 1/8/2012 - Kenny M., Eric Cartman - Complete
Mysterion Saves the Day reviews
A parody of an over-used fanfiction plotline, and a more realistic Mysterion moment.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/6/2012 - Mysterion, Kenny M. - Complete
One of the Girls reviews
The fourth grade girls have made another list, ranking the girls from prettiest to ugliest. This time, it isn't rigged, and Charlie Pierzynski is dead last. TSP Episode #202
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,367 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Kyle B. - Complete
Butters' Very Own Stories reviews
Who's the boy with his own set of stories? Everyone knows it's Butters! That's me! Butters stars in a series of unrelated short stories. No romance or slash. Rated T for "It's South Park, for God's sake."
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,402 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Butters S.
Hedgehog reviews
Stan is scared of a hedgehog, Tweek might have rabies, and the whole town is convinced that a cult is ritualistically mutilating animals. This script contains coarse language and due to its content should not be read by anyone. TSP Episode #110.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,204 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/27/2011 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Stan M., Tweek T. - Complete
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner reviews
"Dude, this is so cool. Killer headless Norwegian Congolese warrior ghosts kick ass!" It isn't just a song. Roland is real, and he's out for revenge... against Stan. Not for die-hard Taylor Swift fans. TSP Episode #108
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,056 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Stan M. - Complete
Girl Scout Cookies reviews
"I am in the planning stages of an entrepreneurial project. I need an undercover worker with intelligence, spunk, and female genitalia to infiltrate the Girl Scouts and facilitate the acquisition of the cookies. That's where you come in." TSP #201
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,251 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Eric Cartman - Complete
Elephant Balls reviews
When a strict sub takes over for an ailing Mr. Garrison, the kids rally to help pay for his surgery. But raising money for scrotal elephantitis isn't as easy as it sounds. Meanwhile, five-year-old Becca has a crush on Kenny. TSP Episode #109
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,557 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/23/2011 - Published: 12/20/2011 - H. Garrison, Kenny M. - Complete
The Charlie Arc reviews
A new kid moves to South Park. Cartman brainwashes a four-year-old. Butters gets grounded. A con-man psychologist tricks the adults into fearing their own children. Kenny dies multiple times. Hilarity ensues. Getting revamped and split up!
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,212 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 12/19/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M.
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