Author has written 9 stories for Digimon, Amulet, Twilight, Hunger Games, and Devil's Arithmetic.
Before anyone asks any questions. NO. LUNAR IS NOT MY ACTUAL NAME. I wish it were, though. *sigh*
Here is a little bit about me:
I love to write, as you can see. My record for updating chapters for stories is eleven chapters in Eight days. I spend All of my spare time writing. It's my passion. It's what I would love to do for a living. But for now, it's just a hobby. I love to take pictures, my profile picture that you see over there is my own, (Please, hold your applause!) my teacher enjoyed the Anonnemysness of it. Creepy, right? ;D
I have brown hair and brown eyes, I am not a One Of a Kind yet I am unique. And I try to get people to know more and more about me and my culture (Persians, woo-hoo! c:)
I usually don't like to do sports--that's because I suck at it--but when I do, I do volleyball. I'm really good at it if I do say so myself. Plus I love to sew and cook, it's close third and second but my main hobby is writing. I spend ninety-nine percent of my day writing and the rest is eating, reading a book, or sleeping. Yeah, I'm a total geek. :D You could say I'm "obsessed" with One Direction. I love them to pieces. They're amazing and just so cute and talented. My favorite (although I hate to pick one) would have to be either Niall, Harry, Louis, Liam or Zayn. ;D Okay! I'm sorry! I just cant pick! I love to listen to music as I read or write, it kinda calms me down. And the lyrics sometimes inspire me more. So.. yeah.. :)
I role-play, too. On Facebook, actually. I have more than five accounts while most people only have one. It's tough, but I love it. :) I've made such great friends. Sidney, Kenzie, Johnny, April, Brie (my girlfriend), Jonathan, Jason, Camryn, and so many more! Of course, with friends comes enemies. My worst enemy yet. Macy, Alissa and Irene. Those little bitchs. Ugh. Gets my blood boiling at the mention of their NAME. UGH! Okay, spas moment over. Calm Lunar is now back. My main account on Facebook is here: Finny. If you role-play, add me! c:
And if you have Tumblr, follow me! I usually post up stuff about random things. c: so follow me here: Perfect Is For Barbie.
Books I read and recommend you read, too:
I recently started reading a book series called The Mediator, and I find it very, very interesting. Its keeping me on my toes.
I have read all the books for Twilight and I read Breaking Dawn in three days, but I've read the book eight times in the past year that I've had it.
I love the Maximum Ride series because I really wish I was as brave as Max, Angel, Nudge and the others, but I never will be.
I've also read The Hunger Games trilogy and would like to say.. Finnick, Prim, Rue, Boggs we'll miss you so much!
Abandon trilogy's better than The Hunger Games! I fell in love with John, and.. Okay I wont spoil it for you guys, but John is such a sexy BEAST. ;) ;)
The Mortal Instruments, of course, is a MUST READ GUYS. MUST. READ.
I've read Looking For Alaska by John Green. Kinda sad and too real for me. I'll stick with angels and fairies thank you very much! I've also read Faults in our Stars T_T
Divergent and Insurgent, also a must read guys!
The Seven Kingdoms Trilogy (Fire, Graceling and Bitterblue) has stolen my heart. Love the characters. Love the author.
Princess and the Frog. Such a cute series. Love it so much, also a must read.
Delirium. Just finished it, no no! Bad ending! No no T_T I won't spoil it for you guys but the ending made me cry not okay.
Hush Hush is also an awesome series and I recommend you guys read it. cx
Now! Anime's I've watched that I HIGHLY recommend for you anime lovers:
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Sword Art Online
Ourian High school Host Club
Origin: Spirits Of The Past
Say “I love you”
Kaze No Stigma
Inu X Boku Secret Service
My Little Monster
Hiiro No Kakera
Jyu-Oh-Sei: Planet of The Beast King
Eden Of The East
Attack on Titan
Free (not finished)
Good luck! Ninomiya-kun
Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet
Baka and Test
My Bride Is a Mermaid
Okami-San And Her Seven Companions
Secret world of arrietty
Howl’s Moving Castle
Strike The Blood
Kill La Kill
Heavens Lost Property
Uta no Prince sama
Hope you Enjoy my Stories!
The link to my FictionPress homepage is here, go check it out and read my stories! Enjoy!
Here are my stories and their Summaries!
1. Understanding love At Last
This is a One-shot based on Takuya and Zoe. Will Takuya Finally understand his love for Zoe? Will he and his friends ever see Ophanimon, Neemon, Bokomon and the other Digimon again? The answer to those two are, yes. He will, and he will say his love to her loud and proud, once he understands what his feeling actually are toward her. This is right after season four ends. So Enjoy my continued version of Season four guys!
2. Unexpected Love Story
Ronnie, Pierce, Max and Emily were in the void. This is in Emily's Perspective. Will Emily Betray Max? Will Max go over the edge and put an 'end' to Emily's destiny? Who is good and who is bad? Why did Max ever betray Emily? This is a prequel to Adventure to Find Love. Complete and with only three chapters filled with Love, Trust, hate, Loss, and Stupidity. So enjoy!
3.Take My Hand
This is a story about a girl named Tara who survived a terrible Car Accident, the Cullen family got to meet this brave girl before she died. Will Carlisle Cullen change her for the family? Is Tara the missing piece in the family? Who is Tara's mate? Does she even have one? Read this story of love, loss, and coming of age.
4. How It All Began
I did not like the ending in the first book of The Hunger Games, it was not the way I hoped it would end. So I changed it. Story starts in the arena when Katniss finds out she can go home with Peeta if they win. It will continue into Catching Fire and, hopefully, Mockingjay. So enjoy this "in-progress" story of Love and Trust.58. Never really dead
Well, I m the first author to post up a story in this category. So yay me! This story is not made to offend anyone, I did not enjoy that Chaya Or Hannah died so I made it into a love story. Not really good at summaries. First chapter is a short Prologue so I hope you enjoy it.
5. Tiny Window
Isabella Swan is forced into a marriage with Mike Newton after high school. Her mother tries to support her father, and keep Bella assured at the same time. Charlie Swan is old and nearly retired. He wants nothing but the best for his only daughter. Since Jacob and Edward broke her heart she doesn't accept them anymore. Slight OOC. 500 words. Completed.
6. By Royal Blood
Lady Isabella is only ten years old when she sees things no child ever should. Her mother has cheated on her father; Isabella is to be married to her cousin, Prince Edward of Seattle; her father is dead; a fire started in her home burns everything down and she is taken away from her family and riches. Isabella is kidnapped and becomes a slave. Will she find her family again? Set in medival times, slight OOC, all humans, original canon characters.
7. Challenge Accepted
Bella and Edward have been friends since high school. Edward is the local player and Bella rarely gets any dates. After six years of crushing on Edward, Bella finally thinks up a plan when she's drunk and gets Edward to agree to being her boyfriend. She calls it, "The Love Game" and whoever falls in love with the other first, loses.
8. Truth or Dare
This is a fanfiction where the readers, that's you, give me suggestions on which dare/truth that our victims-.. I mean, "characters" in Twilight should be facing next.
There is no MUST, who rules your life? You do. So take it to where you want to go. Because that's the place you'll be stuck in for all eternity and you better be happy, or you'll regret it.
I hang out with a girl the skips school, smokes, does drugs, fails most of her subjects in school, has piercings everywhere, and in a couple years would let any guy get some with her, so you think I'm like her? Wrong, I am the opposite. I am the responsible one. The one that will wait for the right guy to lose her V card to. I will never smoke or do drugs, Ill work somewhere were they help kids quit these things. I will stand up for my friends, even if it means Ill get beaten into nothing but shit. I will never skip school and I am going to do my best in school. Don't judge me by who I hang out with, just because I have lunch with them and get their advice on life it does not mean that I'm exactly like them. I hang out with her because she needs help, and I don't hang out with her because feel sorry for her shitty ass. I hang out with her because she never ceases to amaze me. She will come to school with her head held high in something a little too revealing and I'm the one that's covered up. Shes brave, I'm not. And that's what makes the world go round, right? Different people are interesting. If we were all goody two shoes, like me, then there would be nothing to talk about. Because I'm quiet and always have my nose in a book while she goes around yelling about whats right and whats not. Shes got confidence that I lack. We need each other to survive high school, so don't judge me by who I hang out with, and don't judge her by what she is revealing to you. Deep down inside we are all people, different people that need one another to give advice and to tell the other about bad experiences so that one will be the only one to face them while the other does not need to.
The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8.Thou shalt not use ._., ;), or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!
10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.
11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character—yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17.Thou shalt show and not tell.
18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.
20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.
I am a girl.
Harsh but vulnerable.
Sarcastic but silly.
Stupid but thoughtful.
Thorny but tender.
Funny but serious.
Loud but passive.
Dramatic but bland.
An open book.
Easy to love & easy to hate.
Clutzy but occasionally coordinated.
Independent, but dependent on friends.
A muddling paradox
An unsolvable contradiction
And totally proud of it.
"No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age."
"Love is not blind -- it simply enables one to see things others fail to see."
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres".
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree
"Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies."
"She's my best friend. Break her heart, and I'll break your face."
"I plan on living forever...so far so good."
"Love your enemies. It makes them so damn mad." --P.D. East
"When someone says "nothing is impossible" ask them to dribble a football."
"The key to a healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed and half-closed thereafter."
Edward Cullen-Sexier than you since 1901
Emmett Cullen-Stronger than you since 1916
Jasper Hale-Charming ladies since 1843
Rosalie Hale-Better than you since 1916
Alice Cullen-Quirkier than you since 1901
The Right Guy:
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!
WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THIS:
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this into your profile if you would do this for someone you love.
(These ones are great for a laugh)
15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15. Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
-- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)
1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.
This is just a few ways to tell a guy off if he tries to get a little something-something form you at a bar.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
AND MY MOST FAVORITE!!!
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Okay moving on...
Bella: "It's...a cow."
Edward: "No, Bella. It's a dinosaur. Of course it's a cow!"
Bella: "You...want me to eat it?"
Edward: "No. I want you to throw a stick at it and see if it brings it back."
Bella: "Feeling a little sarcastic today?"
Edward: "Just a bit."
MORE FUNNY QUOTES:
-Who ever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.
-If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
-1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
-One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject
-We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge I laugh harder.
-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
-My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.
-A day without light is, well, night
-Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
-Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars
-Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
-I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;)
-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. :D
-What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
-Thanks Stephenie/Suzanne, now I will NEVER get a man. :D
-I don't obsess! I think intensely. (so true!)
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Place an X next to everything you've done. Remove it for things you haven't. Remember this is an account of your entire life!
() Smoked A Cigarette
(X) Drank so much you threw up (it wasn't alcohol though)
(X) Ate so much you threw up
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
() Skipped School
(X) Been to Canada (Oh, please! I live in Canada)
() Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
() Run away from your parents
() Been lost
() Gone to Washington DC
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Played Cops and Robbers
(X) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal in only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
() Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Blown bubbles
() Gone to the movies, paid for one ticket, and then snuck into a theater to see a different feature afterwards
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you think homophobia is wrong.
(X)I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
(X)I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
(X)I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
(X)I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
(X)I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
(X)I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
(X)I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
(X)I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
(X)I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
(X)I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic (Im not, but its still wrong to say Irish are Alcoholics)
(X)I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be a lesbian
(X)I'm an OUTCAST, so I MUST be a jealous loser
(X)I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
(X)I'm SHY, so I MUST NOT have any friends
(X)I have a lot of GUY friends so I MUST be dating them all
Lady Gaga taught me its okay to be different
Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks
Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love
Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through
Travis taught me how to be generous
Taylor Swift taught me not every guy/girl is going to treat me right
Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me
Fergie taught me how to spell Glamorous
Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell bananas
Iyaz taught me how to spell solo
Ke$ha taught me how to spell Dinosaur
I love music and it is clearly helping my education.
Random Sarcastic Junk:
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!
Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.
If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!
Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.
If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
OMG! I think I just saw a flying bird!
let me write that down in my 'things I don't really give fuck about' notebook.
Yeah you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
Warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn't exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Love me or take over...hate me. Personally I could care less
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--I'm not a can.
Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I ran with scissors, and lived!
My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"
BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
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