Blazestar of Shadowclan
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Joined 12-20-11, id: 3547883, Profile Updated: 02-17-12
Author has written 5 stories for Warriors, Star Wars, and Harry Potter.

Hi i am Blazestar Of Shadowclan.

Favorite Series- Harry Potter, Star Wars, Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus and Warriors

Parrings-

HarryxGinny HarryxHermione HarryxDraco HarryxLuna HarryxTom Riddle/Voldemort Godric GryffindorxSalazar Slytherin LilyxSeverus HarryxCho AnikinxPadme LukexMara FirexSpotted FirexSand BluexOak GreyxSilver GreyxMillie IvyxHawk DovexTiger

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

--POST THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU THINK HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG!!--

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

--Thank you--

If you ever wished to be an alien, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you support inter-racial marriages, copy this into your profile.

Just because we can eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, meat (well, not meat), etc... Copy this into your profile

If you've ever wished to go back in time, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is long copy and paste this to make it even longer

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

Subject: Scrabble

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law).

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!! DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

Month One Hi Mommy! I am only 3/4 of an inch long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb! If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too. I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four Mommy,

My hair is starting to grow! It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby! I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just: One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

Yes, I'm pro-life. And incase you're wondering, no, I didn't write that, but I would be honored to shake the author's hand.

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I b ecame their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter camp aigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.

Weird facts you may not know:

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

The term 'sleep tight' comes from the days when people used ropes to secure mattresses.

The Hague is the only country in the world that has the word 'the' in it's name.

The great Chicago fire was not started by Mrs. O'leerys cow.

Betsy Ross did not actually design the America flag.

John Adams and John Quincy Adams are the only father and son to both be president of the United States.

There is no scientific name for the back of the knee.

Smurfette was not the only girl smurf, later on they also added Sassette smurf to the show.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Male sea horse are the ones that have babies.

Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

There is actually an image of the Lincoln statue in the monument on the back of a penny.

Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive.

It takes 224 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

The clap that follows a whip crack is the whip breaking the sound barrier

It is impossible to kiss your own elbow.

You are 1,000 times more likely to drown in the sea than you are to be bitten by a shark.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

A bunch of stuff from Soultaker 78

My Stories

~Underground Clans~ - Hollyleaf goes into the tunnels to find 5 clan's who's existance she knows nothing about enter EarthClan, GemClan, StoneClan, MineralClan and DarkClan co-authored w/ Amberz eyez

Fate Destiny & All That Other Stuff- Anikin, Padme and Obi-wan are transported to the Harry Potter universe, and are suddenly 11

Sextuplets- Lily potter has triplets, Petunia Dursley has triplets.

Planned-

Warriors Middle School- Basiclly the warriors cats going to middle school in Hollyleaf's generation

The Mauraders Map 2.0- The Mauraders, Lily, Severus, Bellatrix Black and Rabastan Lestrange make a second Mauraders Map

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Perils of Innocence by avidbeader reviews
AU. In an institute to help children with psychological issues, a child is abandoned by his guardians because he does extraordinary things. Rather than fear him, the doctors work to help him try to control this ability. They discover other children with these incredible powers. And then odd letters arrive one summer day. Rating will probably go up later. Eventual H/Hr.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 90,749 - Reviews: 2655 - Favs: 3,938 - Follows: 5,343 - Updated: 1/9 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Fall of the Fire Empire: Special Edition by MasterGhandalf reviews
A hundred years ago, Prince Zuko succeeded in capturing Avatar Aang, and the Fire Nation achieved victory in the Hundred Year War, subjugating the other nations. Now it is the Fire Empire under the ancient Dragon Empress Azula and it rules the world with an iron fist, but new heroes, one from each surviving nation, must arise to challenge tyranny.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 60 - Words: 191,833 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 11/13/2013 - Azula, OC - Complete
Magical Relations by evansentranced reviews
AU First Year onward: Harry's relatives were shocked when the Hogwarts letters came. Not because Harry got into Hogwarts. They had expected that. But Dudley, on the other hand...That had been a surprise. Currently in 5th year. *Reviews contain SPOILERS!*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 69 - Words: 260,704 - Reviews: 4895 - Favs: 4,989 - Follows: 6,253 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P., Dudley D.
A New Era by Organ Man reviews
The Pokemon Revolution is over. The world has changed forever. How has it affected the lives of the people and Pokemon of the world?
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,204 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 9/1/2014 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu
Life's a Gas by Bee4ever reviews
What happens when Sunny and Sides pull the ultimate prank?
Transformers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,706 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 7/21/2014 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Sideswipe - Complete
The Surrogate Witch by CloveisAwesome reviews
Hermione Granger is a surrogate desperate for a job. Draco Malfoy needs a child in order to inherit his father's fortune. Draco hires Hermione to carry his child for 9 months. Draco's baby brings them closer than they ever would have expected. Dramione Romance. Post Hogwarts. Work in progress. Eventually, it will be novel length.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,694 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 6/18/2014 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M.
The Jedi Council: Behind the Scenes by WearTheMask reviews
What really happens during an average day of the Jedi Council. Parody. Meaning much OOCness. Read and review!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 35 - Words: 82,069 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/17/2014 - Published: 6/5/2005
FiM: Binky Pie by Miyajima reviews
Pinkie Pie is visited by a strange customer whilst working at Sugarcube Corner. Chaos ensues.
Crossover - Discworld & My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 16 - Words: 40,687 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 5/26/2014 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Death
When Dreams Clash With Realities by Heaven's Prayers reviews
RotS AU Anakin/Padme What if dreams come true? What if an idea or person is wrong? Or if timing and events were somehow changed; how would this effect the bitter reality you live in? Will it help the odds, or make things even more agonizing? Anakin Skywalker is about to find out when an accident happens to Padme that changes his future entirely. R&R pretty please!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 19 - Words: 45,049 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 5/2/2014 - Published: 6/3/2012 - [Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala]
Only the Things the Heart Believes are True by lalunaticscribe reviews
Once, John Watson met an Incubator and made a contract. Of course, once upon a time, John Watson made a wish he could not regret. What does worlds have to do with his meeting Sherlock Holmes? Here we go again. Runs concurrent with Here Dwell Together Still
Crossover - Sherlock & Puella Magi Madoka Magica/魔法少女まどか★マギカ - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 32,737 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/8/2014 - Published: 11/27/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., Homura A., Kyubey - Complete
Opposing Attraction by edward18 reviews
Fed up with each other one day, Miko and Jack get into a rather vicious fight leading to some...unexpected results...
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 148,371 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/16/2013 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Jack D., Miko N.
Strange Visitors from Another Century by Isilarma reviews
The destruction of the time turners in the Department of Mysteries throws Harry, Ron and Hermione a thousand years into the past. There they meet the Founders of Hogwarts, who are not at all pleased about what has happened to their school. They decide that something must be done. Voldemort is going to be in for some very nasty surprises.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 134,989 - Reviews: 1139 - Favs: 2,170 - Follows: 2,757 - Updated: 11/14/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., Salazar S.
Expecting the Unexpected by heretherebemonsters reviews
Starscream's affair with Megatron gets serious in a way neither have anticipated. Mostly just stupid fluff but hopefully someone finds it entertaining. This is absolute tripe actually. Warning: slash, mpreg. Don't like, don't read. I own nothing you recognize. Also if you're confused about the universe, please see my profile page.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 55,834 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 11/10/2013 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Megatron, Starscream
Here Dwell Together Still by lalunaticscribe reviews
The story of Shirley Holmes, Puella Magi, who just wanted to find a world to be happy
Crossover - Sherlock & Puella Magi Madoka Magica/魔法少女まどか★マギカ - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,268 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/7/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Twisted Dimensions by Discovercat reviews
AU The war with Voldemort has gone wrong, so Hermione goes back in time and space in order to keep the world from ending. Unfortunately for her, though the faces are familiar, the world she is to save is nothing like the one she left behind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,804 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 9/22/2013 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Hermione G.
Into the Penumbra by Vialco reviews
Obi-Wan Kenobi is captured on Geonosis by Count Dooku. As the Sith Lord's prisoner, Obi-wan learns the secret identity of the mastermind behind the war and changes the course of galactic history.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,909 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 7/29/2013 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Obi-Wan K., Count Dooku
A Different Dursley Family by Lucillia reviews
Getting expelled from Smeltings was probably the best thing to happen to Vernon. Finishing her Nursing degree was probably the best thing to happen to Petunia. In this universe, Harry Potter is left on the doorstep of a very different Dursley family.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,280 - Reviews: 1139 - Favs: 2,918 - Follows: 4,249 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Vernon D., Harry P.
Harry and Scarlet Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by little-miss-fire-starter reviews
So we all know Harry is awesome and special. So, let's throw in a twin sister and see where this goes? You know the deal, best friends, close-via-siblingship-, and definitely in for some major trouble during their first year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Let's just see what all that trouble actually is, shall we?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 39,078 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 7/4/2013 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Harry P., OC
Mercy for the Young: Atonement by randomideaguy reviews
What if Anakin had a moment of pause, a small second of indecision? The results of a second thought could affect his entire fall to the Dark Side, and the entire fate of the galaxy.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 21 - Words: 30,147 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/2/2013 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Anakin Skywalker
See-Through by Elis1412 reviews
Harry leaves the Dursleys at a young age and is instead raised by ghosts! Will Harry be able to adapt to their strange ways or will he fall under the bus in the process? Deadpan!Harry Manipulative!Dumbledore AU. UNDER REVISION
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 27,232 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 6/20/2013 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Harry P.
Can you keep a secret? by OptimusPrime's Girlfriend reviews
Hot Rod has secrets who he hasn't shared with anyone until he spills them all to a handsome mech on a shuttle. Back at his office, he is suddenly face to face with the stranger from the shuttle, a mech who knows every single humiliating detail about him... I promise it's better than it sounds. You might not like it at first but I think it gets better as the story goes on.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,498 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 6/19/2013 - Published: 4/18/2010 - Hot Rod, Optimus Prime
2 in 1 by Kitt SummerIsle reviews
The war ends. What comes after? One side wins, the other loses. Coping with a win is no easier than coping with a loss. And sometimes the winners lose more...
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,907 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 5/22/2012 - Starscream, Optimus Prime - Complete
Red and Blue KickAft by ThreeInOne reviews
AU, major Optimus OOC intentional. Meet Optimus Prime, smart alec, short-tempered, flirtatious, and slightly crazy leader of the Autobots. How are they going to adapt to this new Prime? Minor Optimus/Airachnid, major Optimus/Arcee and Starscream/Airachnid. Rated T for violence, character death, Cybertronian cursing, and suggestive material. I am taking reader plot submissions.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,633 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Optimus Prime, Arcee
A Lover's Choice by AnakinCaffrey reviews
After plenty of tragedy, things begin to turn out for the better. Anakin has to make a choice that will change him completely. His willingness will only prove his love for his wife. MPREG.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 87,109 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Anakin S., Ahsoka T. - Complete
UnVeiled by Snapegirlkmf reviews
After the Second Wizard War, the Veil turned inward and spat out a few familiar faces-as children! Severus, Sirius, and Lily get a second chance to live their lives over again. What things will change, and what will stay the same? With Harry as Sev's guardian, Remus as Sirius', & Lily has a surprise new family. AU!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 61 - Words: 306,575 - Reviews: 2660 - Favs: 973 - Follows: 847 - Updated: 4/22/2013 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
LakeClan by Sunofaia reviews
The Clans have been all but terminated, with the exception of a few survivors. When the survivors form LakeClan as a memorial for their fallen Clanmates, they begin to realize that it won't be as easy as they'd hoped.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 52 - Words: 80,221 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 6/30/2012 - Dovewing, Tigerheart - Complete
We are the Golden Trio! by Oracle2Phoenix reviews
Rose is just born and Al is due. But after finding an ancient mirror, Harry, Ron, Hermione and baby Rose are sent back into their 11-year-old bodies the night before they first met. Trapped in the past and wary of the Wizarding World, they seek to kill Voldemort as soon as possible. Together Harry, Ron and Hermione shall show the past who the Golden Trio really are.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 13 - Words: 76,617 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 9/23/2011 - [Hermione G., Ron W.] Harry P., Rose W. - Complete
The Super Secret Diary of Eustace Clarence Scrubb by balfies reviews
Eustace Scrubb is an annoying prat, and this diary is a clear example of this. Rated M for VERY strong language, highly inappropriate content and serious butchering of C S Lewis's characters. I am a horrible human being for writing this.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,887 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/29/2013 - Published: 3/17/2011 - Eustace Scrubb
Loss by Kitt SummerIsle reviews
A late-night call from the Nemesis to the Ark causes Prowl to glitch and turns everything upside down. But what's wrong with Starscream?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 38,948 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 3/20/2013 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Starscream, Optimus Prime, Sideswipe
100 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks by Feeding-The-Wolves reviews
I published the original version of this last year, and got some very interesting feedback. Most of it was positive, but I thought some of my reasons were a bit childish, so I'm currently rewriting them. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,583 - Reviews: 440 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 3/18/2013 - Published: 9/20/2011
Harry Potter and the Arcana by the Imaginizer reviews
Harry Potter's life as we know it is entrenched with destiny, sewn together like a tightly plotted book. But what if his bond with destiny was far more imminent? What if whatever card said that Harry Potter is rubbish at divination was turned upside down?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 167,030 - Reviews: 1540 - Favs: 2,364 - Follows: 2,451 - Updated: 3/10/2013 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Harry P.
Reunion by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,134 - Reviews: 1672 - Favs: 3,789 - Follows: 3,099 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Complete
The Chaperones by EsmeAmelia reviews
COMPLETE. Han and Leia serve as chaperones on their kids' field trip to Tatooine. Will they keep their sanity?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,691 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/17/2013 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Han S., Leia O. - Complete
Sidetracked by RussianWolf7 reviews
While on a Ministry assignment, Harry stumbles across a wasted, homeless, mess of a Malfoy in Muggle London. What to do with a Malfoy who has lost everything? Take care of him, of course! Drarry; Harry/Draco.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,525 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 2/13/2013 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Infection Which Poisons Our Love by Eriksangelofmusic4ever reviews
Erik is left alone and hurting over the pain Christine has caused. From that single kiss, Erik is reborn, but the rebirth is not what others would have expected. The world hated Erik, and so he hated back. With a new life in America and a new job, Erik's cold heart still prevails, even when a familar angel re-enters his life. Sometimes, love is not always forever. E/C Pairing.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 60 - Words: 157,958 - Reviews: 478 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 2/3/2013 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Erik, Christine - Complete
The Case Files of Patient 57 by RogueBludgers394 reviews
Patient 57 - Neville Frank Longbottom - lived for twelve years at Caylarium Institute. He alongside Patients 21 and 101 were the first to go to Hogwarts in three decades. Together, they prove that everyone has a story no matter how insignificant their beginnings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,724 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/12/2013 - Neville L.
Being Human by Allison Shorecoat reviews
When the base is destroyed Optimus is assumed dead. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Mysteriously turned human Optimus seeks refuge with a small gang of social outcasts, but when the stakes rise to all new highs, he faces one hard decision after another and soon the question arises. How much of the old Optimus Prime survived the explosion?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,458 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/22/2012 - Published: 12/8/2012 - Optimus Prime
Fallen Angel by Tsy Descartes reviews
What if Erik was never rescued from the gypsies by Mme. Giry, but by someone else? As enemies become friends, strangers become lovers, Erik discovers an alternate world with no Phantom of the Opera, and where he might get the fairytale ending he deserves. Please R & R!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,565 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Erik, Philippe
Through a Cybercat's Optics by Lunar Mist reviews
I just wanted to get home before curfew. Was that really too much to ask? Now, I'm stuck as a cybercat, and to make matters worse, I was adopted! By a mech, no less! Oh, and not just any mech. Optimus Prime. My life is so over. Just shoot me now. OP/OC
Transformers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 257,860 - Reviews: 1403 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 11/5/2012 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Optimus Prime - Complete
It Takes Time by Hayden Avery reviews
Vader finds Luke at age five; while still trying to retain his good heart Luke grows up conflicted as he is raised by his sith lord father. Years later when the far outsiders threaten the galaxy the Empire and the Rebels must ally themselves, forcing Luke and his father to work with Obi-Wan and his padawan Leia.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,291 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/13/2012 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Darth Vader, Luke S.
Friends Forever by Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee reviews
Orion Pax swore to stop Warlord Ratchet and his Autobots no matter what the cost. Then he got his chance. He never knew what a grave mistake he had just committed Slightly AU
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,325 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/7/2012 - Published: 3/9/2012 - Ratchet, Optimus Prime - Complete
A Brand New World by icecreamsundaes2013 reviews
Sure the war is still raging between both factions and neither are giving up, but what if there was younglings that suddenly appeared one day? Well, I guess it's up to those whacky 'bots and 'cons to raise them. Or will the young lives be extinguished... Nah, so read and follow the crazy misadventures of Flarelight and friends. AU and First Story FINALLY FINISHED!
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,042 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/28/2012 - Published: 9/20/2012 - Megatron, Optimus Prime - Complete
Darth vs Ani by MellowLemon reviews
Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker, both 12, and both in the hands of Luke and Leia. How will they survive?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,355 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/24/2012 - Published: 8/8/2012 - Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader
From the Brink of Disaster by UnknownFigment reviews
Palpatine is dead, and the Empire will never come into being. At first, the Jedi rejoice, but slowly it becomes clear that things have gone too far to be fixed by one death. RotS AU, because there aren't enough already.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,529 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 8/3/2012 - Complete
My Love Will Never Die by Penelope Zozes reviews
Sequel to "The Phantomess of the Opera". Belle and Charles have started their life under the opera house together. Must read Phantomess or you will be lost! R&R
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,015 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 7/13/2012
Broken Promises by TayaCurragh reviews
"I can't wait until I'm all grown up," Lily said, "When we're both mummies our children can be best friends!" As Harry says his final farewell to the Dursleys, Petunia reflects on how she treated her only nephew.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,045 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Petunia D., Harry P. - Complete
Heart to Heart Talk by ChuckyDoll reviews
In the first one-shot, you see a brutal scene in which Jonas gives a painful memory to Fiona, who is now his Spouse. The following chapters are a series of one-shots telling Fiona's story about living with Jonas. Disclaimer: This story depicts instances of abuse and I urge you not to condone Jonas' actions here. Some reviewers have taken the subject matter too lightly.
Giver - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,654 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/15/2012 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Jonas, Fiona - Complete
Autobot Party by ThreeInOne reviews
Sequel to Decepticons Gone Wild, name based off of Phineas and Ferb song "Candace Party". The Decepticons want revenge for the Autobots spreading that video of them all around the computer network. So, they decide to get even...by spiking their drinks! This can't end well. There is one couple if you want to know: BreakdownXAirachnid. Takes place after "Loose Cannons".
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,337 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/13/2012 - Optimus Prime - Complete
Star Wars: The Phantom Parody by Feeding-The-Wolves reviews
Since I already finished writing parodies of AOTC and ROTS, I figured I should try writing a parody of TPM as well! So, here it is...it's funny, I promise!
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,599 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/12/2012 - Published: 1/7/2012
MLP Laboratories: The Outbreak by NeuPferdfurt reviews
Naked, four legged freaks. Big bellies, ideal for testing experimental food, large eyes, just made for eye drops, brains big enough to discover the joys of drugs, mind-control and artificial nightmares. But friendship is magic... Disclaimer: Trigger warnings for incidents of rape (chp.4) and racism, about the only elements in this grimdark goo-fest supposed to be taken seriously.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,996 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 6/23/2012 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Complete
The next Lord by Mrs.Knockout reviews
Screams and fire. Empty streets. Dead bodies. It seems like Cybertron is in the middle of a war again. The current Prime tries to find the one who caused it, to end the wartime once and for all. But who thought, that this war, so much worse than the one before, wasn't caused by his brother?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,038 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Optimus Prime, Sideswipe - Complete
Birthmother by sweetlilsunshine reviews
She is one of the least respected members of the community, one of those who's assignment is looked down upon. Follow a girl who, though mentioned in The Giver, never had her story told.
Giver - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,006 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/25/2012 - Published: 7/26/2011
Hellfire by Darth Lawyer reviews
Padmé did not die. She is the Emperor's secret prisoner, and he wants more than an apology for the times she thwarted his plans. He will not be satisfied until he rules her completely – mind, body, and soul. Will she fall into his sinister trap?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,846 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/23/2012 - [E. Palpatine, Padmé Amidala]
Link to the Past by John Silver fan reviews
When Vader and Piett meet they discover they are linked in a way neither could have ever imagined. Non slash.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,925 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 12/11/2011 - Darth Vader, F. Piett
Ectomancer by RustyRed reviews
Falling through puddles and magic gone haywire are just a few of Harry's newest problems. With the Ministry falling apart and Voldemort unearthing ancient secrets, will Harry uncover the truth in time? Post-OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 15 - Words: 103,911 - Reviews: 899 - Favs: 1,994 - Follows: 2,209 - Updated: 2/17/2012 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Harry P.
Harry the Hufflepuff 2 by BajaB reviews
Lazy!Harry is back, and not doing very much at all...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,642 - Reviews: 759 - Favs: 2,587 - Follows: 1,070 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
The Perils Of Being Wanted by Zira Angel reviews
Kup is a rare bot that can carry sparklings, and now he's stuck with a few hard choices TFA...ish?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 40,642 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Kup, Reflector - Complete
Operation Chaos Done Right by Star Bear reviews
Having lost everything the seventh year class decides to go back in time and do it right. This is going to require lots of planning though, because they don't want to be bored by the same time line now do they?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,106 - Reviews: 389 - Favs: 1,052 - Follows: 1,266 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Harry P.
Fighting Back by Miarix reviews
A six year old Harry encounters Lord Voldemort in his hour of despair. The Wizarding World will never be the same. No Slash. Features a Sarcastic Harry, cause I love him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 70,294 - Reviews: 1057 - Favs: 1,898 - Follows: 2,019 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Art of Self Deception by Silver Pard reviews
She makes lists and burns them, as if that means they never existed.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,119 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 34 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Bella - Complete
Rise of a Dark Prince by Minstrel Knight reviews
Harry Potter's fate was sealed by a prophecy: '... a brother in light, a brother in dark...' Taken by Lord Voldemor -, a visionary leader - as his Apprentice, Harry forges a new identity. HarryGinny, background VoldemortBella
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 48,647 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 901 - Updated: 12/23/2008 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W.
A Star Wars Sitcom by madeye reviews
AU fic that follows Anakin and Padme's family life with the twins, and Yoda and Obi Wan. UPDATE: The show has been picked up for a third season.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 45 - Words: 31,399 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/1/2008 - Published: 6/5/2005
Almost a Squib by BajaB reviews
What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 46,899 - Reviews: 959 - Favs: 2,859 - Follows: 611 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
The Chosen One by sohna reviews
A Star Wars Quantum Leap xover. The night following Anakin's meeting with Palpatine at the ballet, Sam jumps into Anakin to save him from turning to the Dark Side. AU for both series. Quantum Leap time conflict explained in story.
Crossover - Star Wars & Quantum Leap - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 33,757 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/31/2007 - Published: 12/19/2007 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K. - Complete
Hippy Pothead and the Philosipher got stoned by CreativeSprite reviews
A Harry Potter Parady. It's weird and kinda dumb but I'll let you be the judge.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,926 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/13/2007 - Published: 1/29/2006 - Harry P.
Bunkbeds by Dee-and-Essy reviews
WARNING: Contains bad language, character bashing, imaginary basilisks, inappropriate student teacher relations, babelized French, crossdressing, 'The 24 Hour Soap Opera Network', violence, Communism and eye of newt.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 47,759 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/24/2006 - Published: 5/9/2002 - Draco M., Ginny W.
Harry Potter & the Azkaban Parody by Fangalla Marie and Eppy the House Elf reviews
Azkaban Story! After reading so many Azkaban stories, I have decided to write a parody of my own. This is about how everyone is demanding that Harry forgive them for betraying him without actually asking. I am going for humor more than anything
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,649 - Reviews: 2297 - Favs: 1,594 - Follows: 1,237 - Updated: 4/22/2006 - Published: 1/4/2005
The Diary Of An Erik by L'ange d'Erik reviews
A tale of how true love triumphs over all. Actually, it's more a tale of blueberry waffles, foosball tables, and cherry lip gloss, but who am I to say? Read and Review!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,015 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 7/22/2005 - Published: 3/31/2005
The Phoenix and the Serpent by ReaderRavenclaw reviews
“You can’t hurt a baby!” Even if the baby is Voldemort? Tom Potter, Harry's oldest son, is off to Hogwarts at last. But why does the Sorting Hat seem to think that he’d already been sorted? Have his parents been hiding something from him?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 43,446 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 6/1/2005 - Published: 1/10/2004 - Voldemort, Harry P.
Phantom of the Future by RDPhantom reviews
Erik is transported to the future by a freakish storm- or is was it? He begins to make a new life in a new time, helped by unlikely allies, both on the right side of the law and not. And can he forget his past love?
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,246 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/12/2005 - Published: 2/4/2005
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UndergroundClans reviews
Hollyleaf isn't the only cat in the tunnels- enter Earthclan, Stoneclan, Gemclan, Mineralclan and Darkclan co-authored with Amberz Eyez HollyleafxOC
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,778 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/21/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Hollyleaf
Fate, Destiny & All That Other Stuff reviews
When Anakin leaps on Mustafar Padme Obi-wan and Anakin find themselves in the Potterverse & they are 11 story better than summary! 1st Fic plz be nice
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,997 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/15/2012 - Published: 12/22/2011 - Anakin Skywalker, Harry P.
Fair Trade reviews
Speckletail's thoughts when Snowkit dies. Drabble T b/c i'm paranoid.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/9/2012 - Complete
Sextuplets reviews
Lily Potter has triplets, Petunia Dursley has triplets. Slytherin!Harry Nice!Dursleys
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,052 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/2/2012 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Harry P., Dudley D.
Potion 13 reviews
Response to potions challenge. Harry Potter, Peter Pettigre, James Sirus Potter, Gabrielle Delacour, Bill Weasley and an OC combine with EXPLODING POTION. Plz R&R Oneshot!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 670 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Complete
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