Author has written 10 stories for Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Misc. Books, and Twilight.
OHAI DER. I'm a new writer here at FF.net but I've been a reader for a few years so I decided to make an account. I love Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Maximum Ride, The Hunger Games and Glee! I'm a huge Romione, Finchel, Peeta/Katniss, Gatniss (in some circumstances), Fax and Percabeth shipper. I guess I'm an ok writer but I'm always looking out for feedback. Thanks for checking out my profile :) KTHANKSBYE.
Shippings I Ship:
-Max and Fang (Maximum Ride)
~'Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.'~ Taylor Swift ft. the Civil Wars, Safe and Sound.
:3 MAH EPIC FACE.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile.
If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile.
If you have WAY too much things to do on your hands and your on fan-fiction.net instead of doing them, copy and paste this in your profile.
65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.
Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.
Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing time wasting things, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are a computer addict, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a thing for pasting things on your profile, paste this on your profile
If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile
If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.
If you have a profile, paste this on your profile
If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished a book character was real so, so, so incredibly bad, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever said a totally random comment that had nothing to do with the conversation for no reason whatsoever, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with something and people have told you that you are crazy, copy this to your profile.
97 of percent people would cry if Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) was standing on top of a sky-scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3 who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy & paste this on your profile :)
If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" song copy this into your profile!
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the very first day it comes out... I'LL SEE YOU THERE! (oh...and copy this to your profile.)
If you have ever stayed up ALL NIGHT just so you could finish a really good book, copy this to your profile.
If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.
If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that people who don’t like Harry Potter are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile
If you think that people who don't like Maximum Ride are crazy/stupid/losers, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and I mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile.
If you only copy and paste this crap into your profile to make fun of yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you ever wished you had wings and could fly with the flock copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If u have a sister or brother who is a morning person, and you sometimes want to strangle them for waking u up at6 AMon a SATURDAY because they turned on the TV in another room or something, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that the leprechaun should just give the kids the freaking Lucky Charms so they'll stop chasing him copy and paste this onto your profile
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.
If you know that getting good grades has nothing to do with being smart, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :)
If you are a total spaz copy this on to your profile
If you absolutely HATE Justin Bieber then copy and paste this onto your profile.
94% of teens would die if Justin Bieber was abut to jump off a cliff, you are one of the 6% that would be screaming "DO A FLIP!!" then copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Hunger Games, Mortal Instruments, The Missing etc.), copy and paste this into your profile!
If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.
If you hate it when people label you, copy this into your profile
If you have a secret that nobody knows copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have had enough of me copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like me and my stories copy this onto your profile
If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile.
If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Darkangel24700, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOoT, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, rocketdog791, It’s Fnicking Awesomeness, gryffingleek394
When I read Maximum Ride I wanted to kill Fang for not kissing Max sooner. I mean, COME ON! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.
As in the words of Niall Horan from One Direction: POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.),Phish Tacko (Marty McFly, Klaus Baudelaire, Alex P. Keaton) Sugary Snicket (Danny Phantom/Fenton in my early FFN days, Durza, Dexter Morgan, Sirrus) FanofSnicket (Klaus Bauldalaire!!) Insanefangirl (Randall off monsters inc.), NicNack4U (Arnold, Aladdin, Captain Jack Sparrow, Drake Parker, Josh Nichols, Crazy Steve, Spencer, Victor van-Dort, Cosmo, Troy Bolton, Chad Danforth, Ryan Evans, Logan Reese, Chase Matthews, Pharaoh Atem/Yami, Joey Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Duke Devillin, Jafar, Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Danny Fenton/Phantom). jafarjasmineforever2005: Jafar, Aladdin, Frollo, and lot's more (There's been tons).Takara410 (Itachi,aladdin,snaraku,seshomaru,sasori ,dei -dei kun Jack sparrow, will turner ,crazy steve, freddy, micheal myer swhen he was younger,hao, zuko and tons more ooh CHASE YOUNG a sexy beast.), OutcastToReality(L from Death Note, and THE BEST FRICKIN' VILLAIN TO EVER WALK THE EARTH: THE JOKER from Dark Knight) Holly Quinn (The Joker -sigh-)Dalia N'Shard (Joker, Dark Walter, Hans Gunsche, Jack Sparrow, Severus Snape, Erik, Atem, 2005 Riddler, Ghoul, and presently, Joker), Mam'zelleCombeferre(Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Edward CullenIM SORRY, Sydney Carton, Combeferreobviously, Jehan Prouvaire, and Enjolras) Firebird's Song (Joker, Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, Jace Wayland from City of bones, Jason voorhees(Duh) and Seth Clearwater from Twilight, oh and Dorian Grey and Tom Saywer, from LXG), The Shrubbery (Gaara, Kyo, Yuuki, Gale, L, too many more!), MPHknows (Han Solo, Gale, Fang, Iggy(i dont have a crush on him, i'm in love with him), Vladimir Tod, Max off of Wizards of Waverly Place), rocketdog791 (Fang, Gale, Jacob, Jace, Sam, Harry, Kishan, and many many more!!), It’s Fnicking Awesomeness (Fang, Legolas, Edward Cullen (books, NOT movies), Gale, Captain Jack Sparrow, Dustfinger from InkHeart) gryffingleek394 (Gale, Peeta, Fang, Dylan, Harry, Ron, Finn.. and way too many more!)
If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
Five Reasons Why Bella's an Idiot:
1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die.
2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie.
3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably?
4. She can't win an argument with Edward .
5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep)
Repost if you agree to at least three statements.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Copy and paste if you want Justin Bieber to jump off a cliff. And would laugh your ass off.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, Blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
Good friend Vs. Best friend
a good friend will comfort you when he rejects you
a best friend will go up to him and say "it's because you're gay isn't it?" (no offence intended to anyone!)
a good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you
a best friend will pass him in the hall and whisper "seven days"
a good friend helps you find your prince
a best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you
a good friend will help you move
a best friend will help you move the bodies
a good friend will bail you out of jail
a best friend will be in the cell right next to you saying "That was AWESOME!! lets do it again!"
a good friend will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing
a best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
a good friend will help you learn to drive
a best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance
a good friend will help you up when you fall
a best friend will point and laugh because they're the ones who tripped you[me]
a good friend will go to a concert with me
a best friend will help me kidnap the band
a good friend asks you for your number
a best friend asks you for their number
a good friend will hide you from the cops
a best friend is probably the reason they're after you
a good friend lets you make an idiot out of yourself in public
a best friend is up there with you making an idiot out of herself/himself too
Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.
Fake vs. Real
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
Friends: Tell you that you look nice.
Friends: Say "see you later!"
Friends: Bail you out of jail.
Friends: Forgive you.
Friends: Politely refuse food.
Friends: Are only through school.
Friends: Laugh with you.
Friends: Tell jokes with you.
Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell.
Friends: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
Friends: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend.
Friends: bail you outta jail.
Friends: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house.
Friends: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.
Friends: come over every couple of months for a sleepover.
Friends: are offended when you make fun of them.
Friends: are shy around your boyfriend.
Friends: don't see you if you're sick.
Friends: dare you to scream into the street.
Friends: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"
Friends: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night.
Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you.
Friends: Ask why you're crying.
Friends: Annoy you.
Friends: Forget you.
Friends: Like you.
333 ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart--super funny--
1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _
6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"
10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME"
11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts
16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department
19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap
20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
22. Open a pack of Yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."
25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool...
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."
28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song
29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"
30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Then run out of the store screaming
31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called Wal-mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles
33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them
34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out 35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!"
36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room
38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food"
39. TP as much of the store as possible
40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal
41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."
42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department
46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom
47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"
48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens
49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts 50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners
51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!
52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night 5
53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras
54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand
55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face 5
56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by
57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a McChicken 59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"
60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!"
61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name
62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters
63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans
64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again
65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you
66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!!!
67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing
68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!!"
69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head
70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted"
71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!"
72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that.
73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."
74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.
75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song
76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store
77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead
78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you
79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles
80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."
81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down
82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham
83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle 85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions
86. Swing on the half price banners
87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed
88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty 89. Hold Barbie for ransom
90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You"
91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart
92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"
93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"
94. Do your own radio show over the intercom
95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask
96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up
97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!
98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you
99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over
101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund
102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby
103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..."
104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded
105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items
106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!!!"
107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!"
108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!"
109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit
110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"
111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around
112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!"
113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend you're having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!" Then start rolling around
114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..."
115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy fries. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the fries above their head like there getting married
116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"
117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in
118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.
122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Wal-Mart
124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things
125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone fromNew York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.
127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.
130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
132. Light a match under a sprinkler
133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.
134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies.
135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.
136. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"
137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.
138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
139. start hitting on the mannequins.
140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.
141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.
142. Put women's clothes into men's carts.
143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking.
144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!"
145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.
146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!"
147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?"
148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel
149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!
150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!"
151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.
152. Ask for Goat Milk
153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.
154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!"
155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people
156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!!"
158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?"
159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!
160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.
161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA"
162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!!"
163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.
164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker! 1
65. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins
166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head.
167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.
168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.
169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face
170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.
171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.
172. Start playing the violin. 173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!" 174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.
175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.
176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce like a bum
177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!!"
178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily
179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.
180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.
181. Shoot spit wads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically
182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!"
183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"
184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff
185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.
186. Walk around in a court jester costume
187. Run at people with a pitch fork
188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack
189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them 190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."
191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!"
192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people
193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'
194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.
195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day
196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals
197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera
198. Yell curse words at people
199. Knock down as many displays as you can
200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away.
201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people
202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away
203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"
204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle
205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces
206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.
208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.
209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.
210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store.
211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!"
212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.
213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.
214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!"
215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"
216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock
217. Tap dance through the store
218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican
219. Rip open every package you see
220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.
221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)
222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."
223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again.
224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!"
225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are.
226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI Joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!!"
227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers.
228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see.
229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish.
230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face.
231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you.
232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target
233. Throw a party in a busy isle
234. Test drive lawn mowers
235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store
236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around
237. Carry a bomb and make it explode
238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it
239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager
240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by
241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!"
242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.
243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar
244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!!"
245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers
246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car)
247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac.
248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!"
249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?"
250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it
251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?"
252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda
253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!"
254. Order a pizza from the cashier
255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred
256. Start a food fight
257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?"
258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves.
259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you
260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt
261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious"
262. Flip off the manager
263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too...
264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!"
265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide across the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!!!!!!"
266. Throw a dance party
267. Write on the floors
268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling.
269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear.
270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint.
271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it.
272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!"
273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them.
274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.
275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!!"
276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.
277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie!
278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done.
279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase
280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra
281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.
282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow
283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks
284. Flirt with the manager's husband
285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman.
286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil
287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!"
288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun...
289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in
290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register."
291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people.
292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!"
293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...)
294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target,Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them.
295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...)
296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!"
297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!"
298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!"
299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint
300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!"
301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas
302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey
303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar
304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal-Mart a Make Over.
305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry.
306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!"
307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes.
308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.
309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!"
310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run.
311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples."
312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!"
313. In Wal-Mart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them.
314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?"
315. Spit in the manager's face
316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad
317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat valet guy stole my car."
318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt
319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles
320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!"
321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!"
322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!!"
323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people
324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance
325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!"
326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person.
327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!"
328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them.
329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!"
330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years.
331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed Elmo’s hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!"
332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song.
333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!!!
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, asshole?
What have you pulled?
If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.
If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere.
If you have pulled an Iggy: You have run into an inanimate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.
If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.
If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have fared in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.
If you have pulled an Angel: You have invaded someone else’s personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull an Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recommend the first one.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (what other kind of soap is there??)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (a little too late, huh?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.(Really? I had no clue!)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Um... ok??)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to...?)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No duh Sherlock)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Was that a popular problem...?)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
'Happy Hunger Games! May the odds, wings, wands and gods be EVER in your favor!' -A tribute to Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Maximum Ride and the Hunger Games
~'The magic may be over, but the games have just begun.'~
Hey guys. I have an idea for a series of songfics I'm planning to write. 13 Taylor Swift songfics for The Hunger Games. I thought it'd be cool to have 13 because there are 13 districts in Panem, and 13 is Taylors' lucky number. I'm a huge fan of her music so I thought that it would be cool. Just PM me your ideas. So far, I'm going to do Eyes Open and Safe and Sound. Thanks guys! ~Gryffingleek394
HAI BLAKE IF YOU'RE READING THIS XD
55 reasons why Percy loves Annabeth
1. Because she caught his attention the moment he saw her.
2. Because she looks like a Malibu girl with princess curls and stormy grey eyes.
3. Because she told him that he drools in his sleep.
4. Because she didn't like him at first.
5. Because she was hesitant to ride the tunnel of love with him.
6. Because she calls him Seaweed Brain.
7. Because she vowed to fight by his side no matter what.
8. Because friendship is what she holds closest to her
9. Because she held his hand down to hell.
10. Because she's way smarter than him
11. Because he calls her wise girl
12. Because she sent him pictures of her in front of architectural landmarks
13. Because Tyson loved her as much as peanut butter
14. Because she's hesitant to trust people
15. Because of her determination to help her friends
16. Because he held her in a bubble underwater after the sirens
17. Because she allowed her walls to come down on the boat
18. Because her fatal flaw is hubris
19. Because she didn't dress like a model
20. Because she hugged him after he wasn't a rodent anymore
21. Because she wasn't afraid of any of the monsters
22. Because of her new soft spot in her heart for Tyson
23. Because she kissed him on the cheek after the chariot race
24. Because he missed her even though she was in New York
25. Because she got prettier every year
26. Because she didn't mind his horrible dancing
27. Because she risked her life for him by jumping of the cliff
28. Because he never worried about someone more than her in his life
29. Because she was considering becoming a huntress
30. Because Nico thought she was his girlfriend
31. Because they both held up the sky
32. Because they found her just in time
33. Because they both had a grey streak in their hair
34. Because she didn't become a huntress
35. Because she was happy to see him after his school blew up
36. Because she was independent enough to lead her own quest
37. Because she turned to him when she was upset and hugged him
38. Because she broke the rules and sat next to him
39. Because she's terrified of spiders
40. Because she thought she would lose him to Rachel
41. Because she always got mad at him
42. Because she kissed him good luck on Mt. St. Helen's
43. Because she knew where he was those 2 weeks
44. Because she was becoming seriously beautiful
45. Because she grew impatient with him for not telling her how he feels
46. Because he saw her in the river styx
47. Because she took the knife for him
48. Because the world was crashing around them and all that mattered to them was that they were okay.
49. Because Annabeth chose Percy over Luke
50. Because he stayed mortal for her
51. Because Tyson helped her with his misshapen birthday cake
52. Because she will never make things easy for him
53. Because his brain felt like it was melting when they kissed
54. Because they had the best underwater kiss of all time
55. Because when they raced away from camp half-blood, he didn't look back
55 reasons why Annabeth loves Percy
Because he drools when he sleeps
Because he humiliated Clarisse and flooded out the bathroom
Because he's an annoying son of Poseidon
Because she didn't like him at first
Because he didn't understand the hatred between their parents
Because he wanted her to ride the thrill ride of love with him
Because he wanted to work together with her
Because she never hated him
Because he convinced her to reunite with her father
Because it was nice working with him
Because his brother turned out to be a Cyclops
Because she got mad at him frequently
Because he convinced her to sneak out to save Grover
Because he was no longer a guinea pig
Because he told her to "Hang on" when there was no other option
Because he let her cry on his shoulder
Because they built a chariot just like their parents
Because he was no longer embarrassed to have Tyson as a brother
Because he was afraid to ask her to dance
Because he stepped on her toes while they danced
Because his mom teased him about baby memories
Because he was afraid to lose her to the hunters
Because the second time they danced, he asked her spontaneously
Because they had a movie date and he wanted to see her
Because she thought she was losing him to Rachel
Because he was happy they were partners
Because he knew she was able to take on her own quest
Because he was there for her when she was losing her mind
Because he held her hand when they discovered the labyrinth
Because he made her want to punch him, but she kissed him instead
Because he was the most annoying person she ever met
Because he was the bravest person she ever met
Because he was adamant to know the last line
Because Silena saw the relationship
Because he would choose her to reattach his head before anyone else
Because he was alive and not dead with Beckendorf
Because he's courageous, has a sense of humor, and is good-looking
Because he was clueless and obtuse
Because he was staring at her more and more
Because he could've died in the river styx, but he lived for her
Because he protected her when she was wounded
Because he owed her one after she took the knife for him
Because he's cute when he's worried
Because he asks for a kiss for good luck
Because he caught her before she fell
Because he listened to her about the knife and Luke
Because the world was collapsing around them and all that seemed to matter was that they were okay
Because he denied immortality for her
Because his mom hugged the life out of both of them
Because Athena approved of him now
Because he stumbled on his words to tell her how he feels
Because he actually thought she would make things easy on him
Because they kissed and were thrown into the lake
Because they had the best underwater kiss of all time
Because He knows her.
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