Author has written 13 stories for Naruto, Pandora Hearts, Vocaloid, and Kingdom Hearts.
Honestly, I dare not to post any more onto my profile. It feels frustrating to me now.
Now, I shall mainly write my stories and post them; because I'm going to write what I want out there. Etc... This excludes reviews.
Yes, I am a lazy author.
I am currently obsessed with Kingdom Hearts. I have many stories that are asking to be finished. Like Ice Princess, MKR, KR, BOLM, and SC.
If you are a Pandora Hearts fan: I present Darkness you
If you are a Naruto fan (Gaahina): I present Durability to you
If you are a Vocaloid fan: I present Immorality to you
If you are a KH fan: I present Simple and Clean to you
I want to apologize to those who've been waiting for so long for Darkness's sequel, In Pitch Black. You see, I composed Darkness at a time where it was self discovery for me. I was in a place where I couldn't get out, I had no friends near me, and I was forced to see myself as I was. And the year before, I always felt repressed, because every passion I held was disregarded by the friends I did have then. It was a lonely time I hold to myself and that I still remember today. And then, my sister hooked me up on FFnet. I had a way to vent out every emotion I held then. I was becoming a young woman, I had so many dark feelings, and there was that one person who I loved and cared for deeply, and could not reach. And you know, I began to wonder about who I really was; and it was moment that I wanted to find self identity. And I related this to Alice, because I wanted to give her a chance to show what I felt, for lack of better words. And I vented my feelings through Darkness, Tea, Invincibly Point Blank, and much more. I will never forget the moments of sheer pride and happiness I had composing those stories. And maybe it's weird, knowing that stories like these came out of a mere middle schooler. But, looking back, I don't regret anything (except for spelling errors) (*laugh*).
But, now it's a new year, and I've grown up tremendously. However, I am NOT saying Darkness was child's play. In fact, it was quite the opposite. After writing that story and then some, I feel completely drained. I put soul, heart, and tears into it, and now I feel kind of dead, but not really. I have every intention to write In Pitch Black, but I find myself not meeting expectations. With Darkness, I never set up expectations. When I wrote Darkness, all I wanted was to find a peace of mind in it and hope that there are people out on FFnet who won’t hate me for what I like, including reading and writing. I didn't know that I would get so many responses. I was really happy and shocked. But, when I wrote it, the mentality I had is much more different than the one I have now. I still feel drained and the power I get to write comes out in short, weak bursts that aren't comparable at all to Darkness. In Pitch Black is a very large challenge, considering it is Oz and I have to convey him well. I was able to write Darkness because I could easily relate to Alice, since she's a girl and I could pull similarities between us. Oz has proven to be a difficult and unpredictable character and is a boy, so it's hard to write him. I don't want to come up with bullshit and give that to fans who've enjoyed Darkness. I have the plot and the story, the words and the characters and how I should do it, but I don't have the emotions I once had that drove me further, that gave Darkness its quality and its story.
I just don't want to give out fake crap that lacks the special qualities and the emotion that Darkness had. I know Darkness had moved some of you (I could tell about over forty) (*laugh*) and I want In Pitch Black to do the same. I guess this is what they call Writer's Block...
I also want you all to understand that back in that dark time of writing, my emotions were pent up. And now, I’ve met someone who understands me as much as I want them to. I don’t know how long it will be until I experience something dark once more; Darkness gave me a form of closure. It’s nice that I’m laughing more today, having hands to hold me more, and a place to call my own, but I honestly need another way to produce a story as qualified, if not more, as Darkness.
Well, school's ending soon. Perhaps I'll have time to update. :P
I am a Teenage Dirtbag. I am flawed and human. I am imperfect. But, I am emotional and passionate, growing up fierce and sticking up for my beliefs. I am only growing up, I'm just a teenager. I make mistakes. And I will learn from them. I'm just a rotten kid slowly beginning to face the world.
I am only human.
If you are a Teenage Dirtbag, you should totally *not* paste this on your profile just to not follow the conformities nowadays.
Go ahead; being a hypocrite is a part of being a teenager. XD :P
Happy birthday to a dear friend of mine, whose birthday was yesterday.
Summer's boring and I've occupied myself with reading. Off line. My eyesight has gotten terrible, so I decided to keep myself away from the computer as much as possible. My groove for writing comes in terrible short burst and I feel weighed by my responsibility to finish In Pitch Black. And other works I promised.
Guess what? I have a deviantart account. I've been meaning to get one. Try and find me.
I realize I have so many followers on Simple and Clean. I'm sorry to those of you waiting. I'll tell you why I wanted to write this story.
As a person, I connect more with Sora than with Kairi. To be truthful, I felt that in most Sora and Kairi fics that Sora was kind of antagonized. Either he was a player, a jerk, or something. The only I could pick on Sora for is the fact that he's 'always leaving Kairi behind', which is a major factor in Simple and Clean. Maybe after I'm done with Simple and Clean, I'll do a related Namine and Roxas kind of thing called Sanctuary. I don't know. But, there's a bunch of other poop I oughta finish. I'm only good at writing when I'm emotionally stressed. That was the case with Darkness. As for Tea, I have to say that was when I was getting in touch with a darker side of myself.
Alrighty, I finally updated two stories.
For many of the stories people are waiting for, I have the whole outline for them, but I'm just stumped at times, though. I'm really sorry. This is the case for Ice Princess, Kagamine Rin, In Pitch Black, and a couple of others.
Anyways, school started, and I love it. I love it so much. It's so different from MS. I wasn't sure if there were going to be evils at my school, but it turned out that there isn't. I'm in a happy period of my life.
My gosh. It's been a long time since I've been here. I apologize.
I realize what a jack*ss I've been about never posting anything up. I won't provide an excuse in this paragraph, but feel free to read the paragraph below to hear how things have been going for me. Onto the main point - I've lost my zest for writing. I also see that several authors have too. But then again, new writers are always popping up. Writing has only ever been an outlet. Now, it's been INCREDIBLY unfair to those of you who wanted to read the stories I have always promised, and if you are willing to hear it, feel free to PM me. I can't give you a story, but I can give you the plot line I had planned and imagined. And for all the other stories I wanted to write, feel free to do so.
Maybe someday I'll come back in the future, but my life is suddenly about to change. I'm a high schooler now - oh, how I have grown, haven't I? The coming years are about push me farther and whip me up far more than I can ever imagine. My life has already changed. The moment I stepped through the doors of my high school - and it's no regular high school - I had a feeling that I was done with writing, for a long time. Writing has always been associated with the dark, raw feelings I had back in middle school. It was raw, perverse, and I was innocent to them. Middle school wrecked my entire being. I didn't know how to express them in any other way other than writing. High school helped me to not forget, but to also grow. Am I happy now? No. What teenager is completely happy? Am I happier than before? Yes, oh, god yes. Why? Because I understand myself now, better than I did before. Writing helped me to redefine my persona, my feelings, my identity. Not that I hate writing now, I am very sad that I lost my zest for it, it's just that I am about 90% satisfied with my life, and writing was part of the process in achieving that satisfaction. Maybe it's cliche, but I'm not above professing my love of someone. To me, that someone is life, in all its rawness, loveliness, beauty, ugly, hatred, passion, and realness. I will never forget the way in which writing has influenced the way I think, feel, and believe.
Unless you decide to find me on the internet or PM me, sayonara for now .
It's been a long while hasn't it? Being a teenager isn't fun anymore, haha. I never realized what a high strung brat I was until now, after receiving the honor of having a romantic partner. I have one less worry on my mind, as I now have a mating partner, hahaha. It's funny because they seem like the asexual kind (when I first met them, it was when I started writing fanfiction and I screamed 'YOU'RE ASEXUAL'). It's been about 1.25 years.
Anyways, how are you all?
Every time I step back here, I am constantly filled with nostalgic memories of writing, listening to Vocaloid, reading lesser known manga, and hot summer nights. I always wrote when my heart was hurting on an extreme emotional level. Any kind of teenager aneurysm I might have now is purely academic -.- Ugh.
You guys are free to PM me, contact me to get feedback on how the stories are going to go. :) I'm not gone forever, I'm still lingering.
Yeah, I still come on here, occasionally. But I have gained many life lessons in the past. Idk what this may mean for writing, but it is much more different than what I previously believed.
1) When you start loving someone, intimacy isn't so bad. The idea of giving away my virginity to someone no longer holds the worth that I thought it once did (but don't tell my parents, haha), as evidenced in some of my stories like Darkness. It's a social contract, and I'm no longer a prude. My body is something that's meant to be loved. Love can be many things, especially when it comes to someone you care about deeply. And that goes hand in hand with refusing to slut shame someone, unless they legit cheat on someone that obviously cared, or participated in helping being the partner to cheat with, etc.
2) High school is so not about jocks, sluts, nerds, etc. Well, not for me. I go to an early college. My living situation is that there are two shit high schools, two private religious schools, an early college high school that doesn't have sports. Let me tell you, I have never had sooo much freedom before. But I do admit getting in trouble with the campus police...haha..ha... In my high school situation, it's about class rank. It's about being successfully better than your peers. That is pressure. What most of you call 'high school' was my middle school (yes, I was one of the many bullied). I'm doing so many extracurriculars and college classes (I finished my high school classes) that I can't breathe. It's about getting to have the final say. The speech. The ability to stick your middle finger up on the stage.
3) Alcohol: not that bad. Honestly. As long as you are with trusted guardians. And as long as you find the right one for you.
4) Oh god, for those of you still in high school, join some clubs. You won't believe how scary and hard it is to get into colleges that are your top pick (if you are applying to some top rate unis, that is). If you sit at home alone, wondering how to make friends, join clubs! Volunteer! I was really, really lonely when I was in seventh grade, and I finally thought, "I am fucking sick of this. Fuck this!" So, I started volunteering anywhere I could. And then I joined clubs. While you may or may not make tight friends, it does give you a sense of belonging, a sense of happiness at helping someone, being able to make someone else's day.
Happy Holidays and New Year to you all :)