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Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.
Let me sum it all up... I'M A HARRY POTTER FREAK!!!
People say I'm crazy, but I'm not! I assure you!
If you ask me, NOT being a Harry Potter freak makes you crazy!
Ah well, I don't know what else to write so... BYE BYE!!!
17 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!"
16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!"
17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you.
My Mother Taught Me
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
Your Guy Side:
You love hoodies
You love jeans
Dogs are better than cats
It's hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice
You own like a trillion baseball caps
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors)
You love to go crazy and not care what people think
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
Cats are better than dogs.
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne
You love the movies
Used to play with dolls as little kid
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it
Like being the star of every thing.
TOTAL: 3...OH NO!!!
Harry's the bravest
Ron's the most oblivious
Hermione's the smartest
Ginny's the toughest
Neville's the clumsiest
Luna's the weirdest
Dumbledore's the greatest
McGonagall's the strictest
Snape's the greasiest
Nick is the ghostiest
Crabbe's the dumbest
Goyle's the largest
Fred is the funniest
Cho is the sappiest
But Draco Malfoy can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone else jealous!!! :)
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.
Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.
Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azmanig huh? If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy an dpaste this to your profile.
If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
Why America has some Issues
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
The person who said that nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
in a world of cheerios, be a frootloop
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door and said that you haven't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have never broken a bone and are quite surprised by that, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should give that freakin' Trix rabbit some Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have actually gotten a black eye by walking into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. (wasn't originally here but had to add it. It happened to me right before a school dance!)
If you have ever tried to go into the backyard and ran into the glass door that you didn't see, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile (my friends think I'm crazy because I'm always arguing with the old school computers)
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're aware that so many people pretend to be something they're not, copy this into your profile.
If you've said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.
If you like chocolate put this in your profile...(HAND IT OVER!)
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, Nymphadora1177, accio gold
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts), vampirechick123 (Edwrad cullen...even though he is real) snow in my coco (Edward cullen. Sexier than you! and all mine...I wish. I refuse to believe he isn't real.), Pepa333(Draco Malfoy, Edward Cullen, Damon Salvatore), SlytherinLuver(Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Edward Cullen) Nymphadora1177(james potter, ron weasley), accio gold (Jack Frost)
If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list, Sapphirepaw, Liontide, Arrowwing, Poppyleaf, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, Nymphadora1177, accio gold
If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Koki-chan (Everyday, I think my stairs are cursed), Majickal (over at my mom's friend's house...which was very embarrassing because I almost broke my nose), Neassa (let's not get into it...) Darkecogir (I done it a couple a times)Tora-kun126(sideways, backwards, forwards, up, down, over, and underneath. I've done it all) DiRtY BuBbLe (more than I fall down them, and, also, I cannot figure out how to walk in a straight line ...any ideas?) HollyluvsArty, Super Reader (unfortunatly yes. All the time.)scarily obsessed(i burst a blood vessel in my ankle!owww!),TwilightNatalia(I've fallen up them, down them, around them...you name the direction and I'm sure I've managed it at least once!) vampirechick321, snow in my coco ( falling up is worse than falling down =( TRY IT!!), Pepa333 (I'd rather not talk about it...),SlytherinLuver(it waz very painful but not az bad az falling down stairs), Nymphadora1177(I know sad right?), accio gold (almost daily)
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it?
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!
Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup?
Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
If something goes without saying, why do people say it?
Please note: Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year...and he died laughing
Everything here is edible. I am edible, but, that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
"It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking?
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.
Confusion is a term for the stupid.
I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.
I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers
Come to the dark side, we have cookies! Me: are they chocolate chip? Dark side: Uhh...sure... Me: COMING THROUGH!!
I ran with scissors and lived! (definitely t-shirt worthy!)
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder
I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive
Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over!
Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.
It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a life.
Words to live by
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Who ever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject
We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
My imaginary friend, named Lucienda Pedophileran, thinks that you have serious problems.
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "Let's do it again!"
A day without light is, well, night
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. (Or the one with cookies...man these are good!)
if anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. (MWAHAHAHA!!!)
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.(yep three...)
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
If you are in love with The Maurauders (maybe minus Peter Pettigrew), paste this in your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile(yes well ...umm...i forgot.)
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't an emo bastard, copy and paste this in your profile
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile (how about like all the time?)
If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile (if only I had my way!)
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and paste it on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you almost always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.
65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile (last time I was at the beach, my parents threatened to confiscate my book!)
If you've thought of killing someone because they asked you what your favorite book was copy and paste this into your profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile..
If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you ever heard voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you are an obsessed fangirl/boy, copy and paste this into your profile. (don't even get me started)
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!
If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this to your profile!
If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro(hehe, yeah don't ask)
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.(happens everyday. my family has gotten used to it)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.(sigh I love my world. Lots of books there. Lots and lots of em. Edward's there too sighs dreamily)
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile (I'm pretty much the only one I've ever talked to...my mom calls me anti-social...I've always wondered why. I have very intelluctual conversations with myself)
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your (YEAH!!)
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile.
IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
I have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen."
"I luv my crazy, goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends."
"I used to be normal until I met those losers I call my best friends."
"Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait."
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile
Dear Dorothy, Hate Oz, Took the shoes, Find your own way home! Toto
Everyone makes fun of the redneck until the zombie apocalypse.
You can't process me with a normal brain.
Revenge. The reason I get up each day.
Three wise men... you can't be serious!
I'm far from normal.
333. Only half evil.
After exercising I always eat pizza...just kidding. I don't exercise.
If common sense is so common, why is it so scarce?
I'm not EVIL, I'm GOOD... with a TWIST!
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
I'm too epic to fail!
Ah! - The Element of Surprise.
Um? - The Element of Confusion.
I'm always disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire.
You can't get arrested for being awesome.
I'm confused, oh wait a send, maybe I'm not.
Warning: I do dumb things!
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Jesus loves you, but I'm his favourite.
It's not denial! I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept.
I'm already going to hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
I scare my own family.
I put the fun in funeral.
I never finish anythi
I may be wrong but I doubt it.
I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.
This is the earliest I've ever been late!
Sorry, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you just suck.
I'll see you at my intervention.
I make stuff up.
Things to do today: 1. Wake up 2. Survive 3. Go back to sleep.
...As a matter of fact, the whole world DOES revolve around me.
The early bird can have the stupid worm because mornings & worms SUCK!
I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick.
I am crazy, and so am I.
I'm not stubborn. My way is just better.
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
The early bird might get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Clowns kill people.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life.
I. Like. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Support bingo. Keep Grandma off the streets.
I'm so old I fart dust.
A.A.A.A.A. American Association Against Acronym Abuse
Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again!
I'm smarter than you're.
Real bear hugs are often fatal.
Think I'm sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
Allergic to stupid people.
I'm already visualising you with duct tape over your mouth.
I flunked anger management.
Lets flip a coin. Heads I get tail, tails I get head!
My mum thinks my friends are a bad influence, but honestly, I'm the one coming up with the ideas.
I'm not lazy. I'm physically conservative.
Mephobia: Fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everyone dies.
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
I should come with a warning label.
Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
I love the sound you make when you shut up!
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realising it.
I'm not a stalker. I'm just persistent.
Sarcasm: The body's natural defence against stupidity.
I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.
Karma takes too long, I'd rather beat the crap out of you now!
Bacon makes everything better.
Let's be honest, you're a moron.
I know I'm not perfect, but I'm that close it's scary.
I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm just saying you're got bad luck when it comes to thinking.
I'm only sarcastic when I'm speaking.
An apple a day will keep anyone away if thrown hard enough.
Don't act like you're not impressed.
Why kill them with kindness...when you can use a hammer?
I'm immature, unorganised and loud. But I'm fun!
I'm Mum's favourite.
Don't make me violate my probation.
Don't blame me, I was born awesome!
Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now!
Relax. I'm hilarious.
I'm not anti-social. I'm anti-stupid!
When I was a kid...no, wait, I still do that.
I'm kind of surprised I'm not an action future by now!
The voices are back. Excellent.
Dear Math, I am NOT your therapist! Solve your own darn problems!
I'm mean because you're stupid!
I'm actually not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
It's okay if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right.
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time to thank a stupid person today.
Just be glad I'm NOT your kid!
I'm not weird. I'm limited edition!
Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power!
Let's eat Grandma! Let's eat, Grandma! COMMON SENSE SAVES LIVES!!!
Do not disturb. I'm disturbed enough already.
If at first you don't succeed, reload and try again.
I'm not racist. I hate everyone equally.
STUPID SHOULD HURT!!!
I have issues.
Strangers have the best candy.
I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.
Zombies eat brains (you're safe)
Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies.
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you!
You can't fix stupid. Not even with duct tape!
If history repeats itself, I am SO getting a dinosaur!!!
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
Dear Karma, I have a lis of people you missed.
I'd be unstoppable if not for law enforcement & psychics.
I tried it at home.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...and spiders,
DON'T GROW UP! IT'S A TRAP!!!
I like you, but if zombies chase us, I'm tripping you!
If you say 'gullible' slowly it sounds like 'oranges'
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
The hardest part about a zombie apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited.
Always be yourself...unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn!
You say Twilight rocks?
If you are a Harry Potter obsessed person, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you love Harry Potter so much you wish the characters were real (Wait! They're not real?!?!) copy and post this onto your profile!
If you believe in Werewolf rights, (GO REMUS!!!) copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you can spout a Harry Potter quote on command, copy and paste this onto your profile!
I promise to remember Harry
Each time I see lightning
And I promise to remember Ron
When I see red hair that's blinding
I promise to obey school rules
For Hermione's sake of course
And I promise to remember Malfoy
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Ginny
Whenever I see an adoring fan
And I promise to remember Neville
When someone says no, but they say 'I can'
I promise to remember Luna
Whenever I see the moon
And I promise to remember Fred and George
When I see someone acting like a loon
I promise to remember Dumbledore
When I see someone with long, grey hair.
And I promise to remember Molly
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Tom Riddle
Whenever I am scared
And I promise to remember Hedwig
When someone says 'I have always cared'
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Potter fans know.
Harry Potter isn't an obsession...
it's a way of life you know..