Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, Tsukihime, and Toaru Majutsu no Index/とある魔術の禁書目録.
name:Crow.dont believe me? when i can im going to change my name to that i will make a lie reality!(ignore my ramblings)
age:old enough to know that im safe from pedobear
likes:sweets,chicken,anime and manga,comics,cute things, animals(mostly wolves and foxes oh and cats too),weapons
dislikes:rapists,sexist,racists,people who puts others down for their own beliefs,math(damn youuuuu! and the one who created you!),waiting, people who likes to hurt animal(bugs,animals,trees,everything in nature),
Belief: for every fictional story or myth out there, good or bad, there is a universe or world where the events of that story are true. also will will get you anywhere!
fav anime:naruto,dragon ball z,bleach,the world god only knows,rosario-vampire,full metal alchemist(did i speel that right?),inuyasha(i never got to see the final pity and im too lazy to go back from the beginin)
personal theme song(not really its shirou and archer theme song but hey! one can hope to have a theme song as cool as this can i?):imitation sachi tainaka
im a new writter here and i have Big ambitions for my stories if i commit any error or you have some tips to better my writing dont hestiate to point it out
also i might borrow some ideas from other writers but there are so many ideas and i forget where i got them so if some ideas belong to somoene out there leave a review or pm me who is the owner and i will apologize and ask for permission to use the ideas
Naruto/Harem (while some may think this disrespect the partners in question i do think that poligamy is awesome and if all partners are okay with it then i shouldnt be a problem)
Naruto/Hana(need more of these people) or Naruto/Tsume
"I knew a person like you once, he had the same blank face you did, only more arrogant, and had black hair. He said the same thing, give up. Give up. Give Up. GIVE UP!"
Naruto charged, faster than before, Fate sent out a double layer palm thrust, only for the blonde to skid in between his arms, avoiding the attack entire and directly bashing his head to Fate's
Play Gurren Lagann – Happily Ever After by Nakagawa Shoko
"He couldn't stop me thousands of years ago."
Naruto swung his left arm around Fate's head and pulled it down to smash it on his knee, reminiscent of the time they first fought. Fate staggered back before attacking again, faster this time, stronger, lightning fast punches that fell like rain, a vicious side kick, a claw swipe, a hammer strike from above.
They all missed.
The crippled blonde somehow completely evaded all his attacks.
'Wh-where is he getting his strength? He should be dead by now!'
"He took away my wife, and I still didn't give up."
Stepping in between the attacks again, Naruto braced his left shoulder against Fate's chest and stomped his foot causing a crater to form, using the force and momentum of the stomp to shoulder check the white haired boy causing Fate to fly back from the force and stick his shoulder back into its socket at the same time. He stifled a cry of pain. But his left arm was back in business.
"You can take away my arms, and I'll still kick you to death."
As if to show he was serious, Naruto ran at the white haired boy, evading a punch, one foot stomped on Fate's foot hard enough to create a crater, Fate's eyes widened in shock at the pain. Pining the foot beneath him so that Fate wasn't going anywhere, Naruto slung his one good arm over Fate's shoulder and fired off a multitude of high speed knee bashes, finishing with a reverse kick that nailed Fate straight in the chest and sent them rocketing over a stunned Negi and Asuna.
"You can take my legs, and I'll still bite you to death."
Drawing two combat knives from somewhere, one in his teeth and another in his good hand, he ducked under the furious punch, stabbing the knife in his good arm into Fate's shoulder joint, causing it to go limp while he leapt up from his crouched position, the knife in his mouth slashing Fate from hip to shoulders, desperately suppressing the pain Fate tried to grab the blonde but Naruto slid around him like an eel in water 'Fast!' and stabbed the knife into Fate's other shoulder joint.
'I-impossible, his getting faster, and his at-attacks, my barrier is still working but each of them are strong enough that it doesn't matter, lessened or not they still hurt!'
A gentle palm was placed on his chest and felt another behind him.
Fate stared stupidly at the blonde in front of him as the blonde gave him a sad smile and whispered so only Fate could hear him, "Wherever you are, next time we fight, I want to fight the real you, not some stupid puppet."
Naruto's face hardened, "Death couldn't take me, Sasuke couldn't take me, Obito couldn't take me, Kakashi couldn't take me and I'll be damned if I let you and some giant glowing asshole take me. MY NAME IS NAMIKAZE NARUTO, REMEMBER IT SO YOU CAN QUIT TRYING TO MAKE ME GIVE UP BECAUSE I NEVER GIVE UP AND I NEVER BREAK MY PROMISES.-Broken Faith
Play Gundam Seed Destiny OST – Kimi Wa Boku Niteiru
"Listen to me Negi. Listen to the words of a broken man. The world has many kinds of people, but everybody falls into four categories."
"The first category," he flicked the old man up from the ground with one foot before slamming his elbow onto the old man's head, causing him to smash face first into a waiting knee.
"The bad and the normal, these people, follow what everybody else is doing or just do what they want. People like Dietrich."
Naruto slid to the side to avoid a punch, "The second category; the good people, these people do what is right. Even if they are sacrificed in the process, all because what they are doing is right. People like Makie, like Asuna, like Chizuru."
He grabbed the outstretched punch before spinning around in a judo move and throwing the demon onto the ground, but Wilhelm retaliated by stopping his fall and violently kicking Naruto away.
"Guh…. But Negi. one day the people in the good category will have to face a choice. It's a different choice for everybody, for some it's the question of what are they fighting for? Some ask themselves whether its worth continuing. They can run from that choice, run because of their fear or whatever but by running they will remain where they are, stationary, mediocre in relation to everybody else."
"Those who choose to face that first choice will come to a second choice. People like me Negi. We face that first choice and advance into the third category; those who are great. But we lacked the strength to continue and succumb to the second choice, whether it comes the form of fear, of anger, we fall into the abyss. We use that hate, that anger. It gives us incredible power to do what is necessary
Naruto struggled to his feet and held his hands out with a sad smile, "But that's as far as I can go Negi, that is as far as this blood stained hands can take me. This is my limit. I can go no further."
He looked straight into Negi's eyes, at Makie's, at Asuna's, at all the girls who were there fighting alongside Negi, "But you. All of you. All of you have the potential to go even further. To achieve that last category. You have the potential, when you face that choice and you find the strength within you to overcome that anger, that fear, that hate in you. Once you overcome that anger, instead of falling into it and using it like I did, all of you will advance into the fourth category; those who are legendary. All of you will be legendary…."
"All of you have that potential, the ability to scale that wall, to achieve far greater power then I ever could. Enough power to do what is right AND what is necessary. You have BOTH power and strength. Don't mistake one for the either like I did Negi."
Naruto ducked under a punch and tripped Wilhelm before kicking him into the sky. The blonde vanished from his spot, before appearing again behind Wilhelm, "Omote Renge!" grabbing the old demon; they start spinning violently and slammed into the ground in front of everybody.
A figure leapt out of the dust cloud, right in front of Asuna before a swift gesture cut her free and the necklace on her neck was ripped off.
Crushing it in his hands, he looked up at everybody, "That is all a hypocrite like me can teach you. All of you can learn better from someone who isn't broken."
"Everything else….. is up to you."-naruto broken faith
They watched him leave.
"I am alive and I am dead. I have a soul and I have none. I have taken countless lives and lived every last one of them. I devour the dead and become their strength, while they become mine. I have destroyed and saved hundreds of worlds. I am sane and have given into madness. I am Blacklight Strain DX-1118. I am Alex Mercer."
The strong have the right to be condescending toward the weak. Likewise, the weak have the right to tell the strong to stick that condescension up their collective asses."
"If there is one thing I fear, Shinigami-san...it is neither you nor your domain."
Scabbard remained quiet as he had pondered what he had just discovered about the girl for several minutes. "… among all the people I have met in my travels… there was one man alone who I truly considered my brother in all but blood." He started off slowly. "… he was the only man I knew of that could create weapons as fast as I could… but in more variety, and lethality…" He let his words sink in to Tenten's head before he continued. "… and the oddest thing about him was that he was a Faker… like you." Tenten's eyes widened in shock. "All the weapons he created were temporary constructs from a technique that he had… and were all copies of the originals that he had seen at some point in his life. The copies had all the powers, purpose, properties, material compositions of the originals, and held the same memories as well, enabling him to wield them expertly without exception as if he were the one that brought the blade's name in the history books himself. The only flaw was that the quality of any of the weapons was just short of the original… yet that did nothing to reduce how dangerous he was on the battlefield."
Tenten remained quiet as she gave Scabbard her full attention, as if she were listening to the greatest story she had ever heard in her entire life.
"We… parted ways a while back…" Scabbard sighed as he closed his eyes. "But I gained permission from him to make his final technique my own if I ever managed to pull it off… and until recently it has been out of even my reach…" Tenten's eyes widened as the man stood up. "This is the final technique of the strongest blacksmith I have ever met. It can only be performed by those whose hearts belong to the forge, who look at weapons differently than others, who can see the true history of a warrior's greatest ally with the glimpse of an eye. Should you train hard enough, this technique will eventually be yours. Do not however think that you will be able to learn this before the exams. For now though, please keep this a secret. Even my family does not know that I have completed this technique…"
Tenten nodded shakily as she stared at the man in awe.
Scabbard took in a deep breath and started to mould his chakra while letting his mind conjure up the landscape of the technique.
A graveyard of blades, a sun the color of past blood…-yet again with a little help
"Good question. In reality, there is no universal answer, as everyone has different standards for light and dark." Eva explained. "However, I can tell you this: unlike wind that opposes stone, fire that opposes water, order that opposes chaos or good that opposes evil, darkness is like a small black hole that sucks everything in; the beginning of chaos."
"THE FLOOR WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME AND MY ARMY OF USED COUCH CUSHENS!" There was a brief pause. "DEMON CHICKEN OF DOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!"
"Ready to give up yet? I'm starting to tire of our game of tag."
A few minutes later there was a poof of smoke near the three training logs, and Kakashi appeared within. "Good morning everyone!"
"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura yelled, pointing at the man, and causing all three males to wince.
"Sorry I got lost on the road of life." Kakashi replied in an uncaring manner.
Sakura turned red and was about to reply when Naruto beat her too it.
"I know what you mean." Naruto said, putting his book away and grinning at his scarecrow like sensei. "That damn road has so many twists and turns, it reminds me of a roller coaster."-naruto shifts of life
"I just have one thing to say…"
"I'm not interested in hearing it…just give up already!"
"Give up…trying to make me give up."
"AGH…unh…e-even if you take me out, another assassin will just come to attack your village. Heh… As long as we live in this cursed shinobi world…there will never be peace…."
In that case…I'll break the curse. If there's such a thing as peace, I will find it! I'm not giving up!"
"Who…who are you?"
"My name is…"
Tears ran down Naruto's face.
My name is…
A strong willed person dies for their goal. A person with extremely strong willpower will die for their goal, come back to life to finish the job, die again if necessary and repeat the cycle until they're done.
Sometimes life will throw you stones instead of balls, but its up to you to either hit it, let it get you out or take some payback.
The moment you lose your ambition a person becomes just a shell of their former self.
Finally the last one. Life is the sound but you are the player. Now make it sing to your tune. (P.S. got this off, you might be the sound but I am the rhythm.)
Nothing is impossible. Those who think that haven't lived their life to the fullest nor are idiots.
"That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!" Calculon - Futurama
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." Winston Churchill
"i have a half mind to kill you and the other half agrees..."-me
"tch fuckin humans destroying the world how am i supposed to conquer the world if there is no world to conquer?"-me
the japanesse soldiers were told their duty is to die for the emperor. your duty is to help them complete their duty as efficient as possible"-the american army WWII
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." Unknown
“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: ‘Cover for me.’ Number 2: ‘Oh, good idea, Boss!’ Number 3: ‘It was like that when I got here.’” Homer Simpson - The Simpsons
“Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?" Sideshow Bob - The Simpsons
"Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." Carl Zwanzig
"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his." General George S. Patton
“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers” Randal Graves - Clerks
"Guns don't kill people... but they sure help."
“There’s only two men I trust. One of ‘em’s me, the other one’s not you” Cameron Poe - Con Air
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Scott Adams
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." George W. Bush
"Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?" Jay - Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
"That's what the Internet is for! Slandering others anonymously."
"Fighting fair is for people that don't know how to avoid losing correctly."
"I don't drink from the fountain of wisdom, I gargle."
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
humans are incredible beings, capable of being the most compassionate of beings, of committing selfless acts for no other reason then it was the right thing to do. Humanity on the other hand, was stupid. They followed the crowd, doing what everyone else was doing no matter how wrong, simply because everyone else was doing it.'
"I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm." - George Carlin
"A fighter with lesser skill can knock out a man in one punch, but a regular person can make a skilled fighter cry like a girl with a single bullet."
"No technology is worth my dignity. If talking on a wireless headset means I gotta look like Buck Rogers, then I'm not interested. Besides, there's a reason why people hold a phone to their head! It lets people around you know your talking on the phone. So those people know not to waste time talking to you until you finish, which you then indicate, by putting that mothafucka away!" Gin Rummy - The Boondocks
"If at first you don't succeed, deny that you were really trying in the first place."
"If you get glitter on you prepare to have it on you forever, because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." Dimitri Martin
"Keep your expectations low. If you expect a kick in the balls, but get a slap in the face, then it's a victory."
"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees."
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
"You never want to be in a fair fight if an unfair fight is an option." Forrest Griffin - Be Ready When The Sh*t Goes Down (A Survival Guide To The Apocalypse)
"Cheating: The Plan B of winners for over 2000 years."
"Right leg: hospital, left leg: cemetery." Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (For those that do not understand you need to go to Youtube)
"The thing you should be thinking about isn't whether or not I can actually kill you with the nail clippers, it should be the fact that whether I can or not is irrelevant. No matter if I can or not, you know full well that I'm going to try, and that more than anything else should scare the hell out of you for more than one reason and answer your question right there."
"And that's the moral of the story. Some niggas need to go jail! I may be in hell, but at least I ain't in jail, nigga! (laughs maniacally)" Colonel H. Stinkmeaner - The Boondocks
"We are not retreating -- We are advancing in another direction." General Douglas MacArthur
"Bullets... my only weakness. How did you know?" Officer Palumbo - Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."
"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize.
I'm slipping, I'm sliding, with the hedge I'm colliding.
One of us will fall. The rest will point and laugh.
I tripped over the dog, knocked my head against the wall, ricocheted across the room, banged into the couch, rolled off of the couch taking the blanket with me, hit the floor and continued rolling, and came to a halt with the blanket over my head...this happened in all of 20 seconds. Good morning to me.
When I was a little kid, my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street.
I'll believe Yu-Gi-Oh is dangerous when I see kung-fu fighting Telli-tubbies.
I am Ash Ketchup, from Mustard Town!
My personality is addictive. Don't believe me? That's your problem now.
Money isn't everything, and you'd better know it. Now video games, THAT'S an entirely different story...
When Temari gets mad, she whines to Kankuro. When Kankuro gets mad, he whines to Gaara. When Gaara gets mad, people DIE.
When in doubt, nuke it 'til it stops moving.
When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
Nobody can deny it: Sesshomaru is in fact the Lord of All Things Fluffy.
Since when is blood blue?
Selphie is wierd. Tifus is hyper. Wakka is retarded. Riku is cool. Kairi is funny. Sora...isn't.
"Why don't you just give up?!" "I never really learned how to!"
"Hey! Why don't you give us a handicap?!" "Is that another word for 'coffin'?"
Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!"
Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to sky dive TWICE.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
"If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!"
Logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!!
There are no stupid questions; only stupid people.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils...
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
What you call dog with no legs?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
I have gone out to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
I got lost in thought. It was an unfamiliar territory.
I know you are, but what is he?!
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
The road to success is always under construction.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Guy pulls into a handicapped spot, nothing's wrong with him! So I RAN HIS ASS OVER. I made an honest man out of him! Then his mom gets out and starts swinging her crutches at me! ...took her out with the door.
This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.
If it's a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two-cents in, what happens to the other penny?
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
I have a dream where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
My friend: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." Me: "Y'know, there's a reason for that."
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't!
"A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch."
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
My friend: That's all folks! Me: But you didn't say anything.
Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
Hello. May we pick your nose?
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Open seven days a week and weekends.
If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.
If you can read this, please pull me out of the snow.
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
Intruders will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard — bell out of order.)
Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
No trespassing without permission.
7 days without pizza makes one Weak.
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
English well talking. Here speeching American.
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Don't make me go medieval on you.
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT!!
If assholes could fly, this would be an airport.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
He’s Not Dead, He’s Electroencephalographically-Challenged
My Friend: "Honk if I'm Jesus!" Me: "Quack." My friend: "You didn't honk." Me: "That's the idea, dumbass!"
Don't worry! This will only hurt a lot!
How may I ignore you today?
I haven't suffered any dain bramage.
I'll get as want as I drunk to be!
I swear to drunk, I'm not God!
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
I missed you, but my aim is getting better.
"That was 2 1/2 hours of my life I won't be getting back." "Yeah, that was basically 2 1/2 hours of I COULD BE ASLEEP RIGHT NOW!"
Any problem on earth can be solved with careful application of explosives.
"That cat is a walking question mark." - Roxas, talking about the Cheshire Cat
"If they're in High School, why do they seem like they're in Jr. High or Kindergarten?" "Because the Japanese want to fuck with us." - A comment-convo about a video on Youtube, the video in question is an english dub of the anime 'Lucky Star'.
MY BIG BROTHER'S QUOTES:
"Open your not pants!" - ...he said this one Christmas when he wanted pants for Christmas.
"PANTS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - Said on the same day as the other one, but after I received pajama pants as a gift.
"Man make fire for to cook meat." - I forgot when he said this, actually.
"I need shotgun for because bullets." - He said this when grabbing an auto-shotgun in Left 4 Dead 2.
"AAAAH! MANY ZOMBIES! SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!" - His first time playing Left 4 Dead.
"I have bullets! (gunshots)" - Another L4D2 quote.
"AH, BALLS!" - Said whenever he messes up in a game.
Copy all of that into your profile if you thought it was funny.
"Nope, no matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it, Nancy. Quit yer bitching."
"I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing, it's the same color as last place... It's purple."
"Women are like Voltron, the more you hook up the better it gets."
"There's no 'I' in team." "Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!"
Caboose: "Hey Church, ever wonder why we're here?"
Church: "You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that has happened, you know what I learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant, or an idiot, or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise them on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they are a complete and total fucking douchebag."
Caboose: "...I meant why are we up here in the sun when we could be standing down there in the shade."
Church: "Oh. Yeah, okay. Let's go stand in the shade." - Red vs. Blue
"Hey, this is Carl, and yeah, I'm plenty pissed...at God for forsaking Kurt Warner in my time of need when he was a New York football Giant. And now He's working in completely mysterious and retarded ways by letting the Cardinals play in the Super Bowl. Listen, the state of Arizona is only good for one thing: testing A-bombs so the people from the good states don't get hurt. Pittsburgh's gonna be up by 24 before O-Town can say "My country, 'tis of thee," but I'm gonna give all you party bookies some Super Dull XLIII over/unders to keep your guests from killing themselves before halftime:
Number of human interest stories about Larry Fitzgerald's dad during the pregame show—17;
Those are the actual Vegas over/unders through a true insider! Now go make some money, dummy, 'cause I'm pissed." Carl - Aqua Teen Hunger Force
"Yep, hand to hand combat is the old school way to kill your enemies. Killing a man with your bare hands says 'We're all equals as men except I'm slightly more equal because I'm still alive and your dead.' Of course dropping a nuke on them from 50 thousand feet is totally acceptable. I mean let's face it, there just not enough time in this world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling."
"Shotgun to the face is a great contingency plan! Wanna see how it cures insubordination?" Sarge - Red vs. Blue
"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"Do you know why Americans love guns? And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo, "cocking your gun." No, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity where a poor man can become rich and a pussy can become a tough guy if he's got a gun in his hand." Mr. Hammerson - Shoot 'Em Up
"You know what I really hate? What I really hate, is a pussy with a gun in his hand." Mr. Smith - Shoot 'Em Up
"Fruit don't talk... Fruit just listens... and waits." Earlie Cuyler - Squidbillies
"Okay I'm going to be completely serious with you... There's every chance in the world I was drunk when I said that."
"Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid."
"I'm more stoned than Jesus!"
"Yeah, well I fucked your granny!"
"The conversation always gets more interesting once my nipples are involved."
"Talk about drop kicking a small child..."
"Wait, wait, shhhh... you hear that... it's the sound of a poor girl stuck in the rape van, calling for help..."
"YOU, Sir, are a sanitary napkin!"
"Somewhere right now... Bill Clinton is laughing his ass off..."
"Dude... dude... duuuude... I just realized... I have arms."
"I may need Jesus in my heart, but Jesus does not need me. He'd be all scared and alone like 'Where am I? What's that smell? Why's it so dark in here'... the smell is the rotting corpse of my innocence."
"My gaydar tells the future."
"They may be only eight years old... but I could totally kick all their asses."
"Don't worry, when I'm an overlord of the world and everyone bows down to my evil will... I totally won't kill you."-ME and a friend..i think
"if im going to fall THEN ILL DRAG HALF THE WORLD DOWN WITH ME!...wait on second tought ill drag all the world except two women let see how humanity survives...plus yuri is hot" me
"You should never avert your eyes from death, never look away from the lives you have taken. And you should never forget the people that you have killed, because I can assure you they will never forget you." Solf J. Kimblee - Fullmetal Alchemist
"Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex in which case... yeah, bed is still for sissies." Gregory House - House
"I've run over black cats that were luckier than me."
"Thank God I wore underwear today." Derek Zoolander - Zoolander
"Sometimes I need what only you can provide... your absence." Me
"I'm so miserable without you it's like you're right there with me." Me
"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there." Charlie Sheen
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." Charlie Sheen
"A.A. was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis-DNA." Charlie Sheen
"Dying is for fools... amateurs." Charlie Sheen
"C.B.S. picked a fight with a warlock." Charlie Sheen
"If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, 'Dude! I can't handle it, unplug this bastard!' It fires in a way that's maybe not from this, uh... this terrestrial realm." Charlie Sheen
"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars." Charlie Sheen... and now me.
"If it doesn't hurt you're not doing it right... just like sex." Me
"Experience isn't something you get until right after you need it."
"I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money."
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
"I'm a peaceful man with bad intentions."
"There's a new sheriff in town... and he has an army of assassins."
"I just had a brainstorm." "I wasn't aware storms could exist in a vacuum."
"I wake up in the morning and piss excellence."
Fit Tony: "That's why I keep my friends close-."
Homer Simpson: "-And your enemies closer?"
Fit Tony: "No. Why would I do that? If they were close they would kill me."
"Just because you sold seven million albums doesn’t mean you’re talented. It just means that there are seven million people that are stupid as hell." Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks
Murphy's War Law
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoil-less rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
10. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
18. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
19. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
20. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
21. The easy way is always mined.
22. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
23. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
24. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
25. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
26. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
27. Incoming fire has the right of way.
28. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
29. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
30. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
31. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
32. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
33. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.
34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
35. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both).
36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
38. Tracers work both ways.
39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
40. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
42. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
43. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
44. Weather ain't neutral.
45. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
46. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.'
47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
48. Napalm is an area support weapon.
49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
53. The one item you need is always in short supply.
54. Interchangeable parts aren't.
55. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
56. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
62. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
63. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
66. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
67. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss.
69. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
70. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
71. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
72. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
73. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
74. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
75. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp).
76. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
77. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
78. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
79. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
80. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
81. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
82. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else.
83. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
84. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
85. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
86. Murphy was a grunt.
87. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
88. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
89. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
90. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
91. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
92. The crucial round is a dud.
93. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
94. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
95. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
96. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him.
97. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
98. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
99. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
100. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
101. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
102. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
103. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
104. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet.
105. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
106. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
107. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
108. Walking point sniper bait.
109. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
110. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
111. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
112. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
113. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
114. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.(sad but true luckily i didnt lose any of my buds in the army! im a combat medic too!)
115. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.(yeah quite a few of that
116. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
117. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
118. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
119. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss.
120. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined.
121. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.
122. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.
123. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit.
124. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.
125. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.
126. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.
127. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.
128. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.
129. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too.
130. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too.
131. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.
132. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both.
133. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case."
134. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
135. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.
136. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.
137. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.
138. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep.
139. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms.
140. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
141. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.
142. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
143. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
144. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
145. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.
146. Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
147. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
148. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
149. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them.
150. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
151. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
152. Being shot hurts.
153. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded.
154. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
155. C-4 can make a dull day fun.
156. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
157. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils.
158. If you lose you don't care.
159. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.
160. Always make sure someone has a can opener.
161. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
162. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying.
163. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.
164. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA!
165. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
If you have done any of these things and thought it was funny copy and post this on your profile.
You know you live in 2007 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. XD
"Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard."
"If it doesn't kill you, use it and kill somebody else..."
"I want a shirt that just says "f* you" on it, and I want to wear it while walking through airports all day. There's no such thing as a bad word, just bad intentions."
"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes." Jimi Hendrix
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything; it is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone - The Godfather: Part II
"You cannot achieve success, without the risk of failure. And I learned a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If you're not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But you're never gonna get there unless you risk it all the way. I was a failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying 'Okay. Watch out. Here I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.' So now, I'm just a little more dangerous." Paul Heyman
"That man [Batman] won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. [Punches Darkseid through the wall] I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. [Punches Darkseid again] But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am." Superman just before uncorking an assbeating of a lifetime on Darkseid, reaffirming that he is indeed a bad mother f'er - Justice League Unlimited
"Show me a man with a combover and I'll show you a man that believes that by crushing a bag of chips... you make more chips." Sheng Wang
"My plans always work! ...Sometimes!"
"Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said... 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.'" Ricky Bobby - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
"If animals have taught me anything it's that you can die very quickly and very suddenly under a bus or on the side of the road." Charlie - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal." Peter La Fleur - Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
"Saying you're a history major out loud is basically just the same thing as telling your friends, 'Yes, I do remember every dumbass thing you've ever done in front of me, and I can bring it up accurately whenever I want, so don't start.' I love it, but there's not a whole lot of good job options available for it. What the hell am I going to do, teach? I'm way too hateful to teach kids." Kenchi618 - Me at Buffalo Wild Wings after being asked by friends why I try to major in communications instead of the other thing that I'm good at
"Live every week like it's Shark Week." Tracy Jordan - 30 Rock
"I am finished doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, 'something that kills people.' And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I am sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut." Hattori Hanzo - Kill Bill Vol.1
("Money doesn't buy happiness.") Rebuttal: "...Have you ever tried not having money before?"
"You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war, especially with yourself." Yuri Orlov - Lord or War
"Ambition is the willingness to kill the thing you love and eat them to stay alive." Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock
You know you're obsessed with Naruto when,
· Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
· Live by a strict diet of only ramen.
· Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.
· Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
· Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan".
· Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
· Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
· Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.
· Paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books.
· Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.
· Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
· Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.
· Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "Chidori" as you pass out.
· Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n.
· Start to call your teachers Sensei.
· Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.
· Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.
· When someone ask you who your dream guy is and you say Naruto.
· Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.
· Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.
· Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
· Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.
· Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.
· List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
· Can spout out a random character quote on command.
· Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a hole in a wall with it.
· Sneak around and try to beat your grand father.
· Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why!".
· Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
· Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea. (have not been bitten yet)
· Read manga 24 hours non-stop.
· Decide that if you can't hit a tree 1500 times then you'll jump rope 1500 times.
· Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".
· When you run, you run with your arms behind you.
· Try to walk on top of a hot spring.
· When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage.
· Write your name in blood on a big scroll.
· Take a leave of absence for two and a half years and when you come back pretend you are cooler and smarter.
· You paint the kyubii seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you.
· You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand.
· You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain.
· You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
· You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.
· You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.
· You always wear green, skintight clothes.
· When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.
· You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage.
· You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it and claim to catch demons.
· You sharpen chop sticks and claim them to be senbons.
· You yell out "Wind Shuriken Throw of Death" when throwing a frisbee.
· You stick pythons up your sleeves, jump down from a tree, and say that you're Orochimaru.
· Throw knives around the house and scream "I am practicing to throw my kunais!"
· You try to gulp down ramen and nearly choke.
· Paint dark circles with mascara around your eyes and claim to be able to control sand.
· You faint when someone touches your forehead.
· You flail your arms in circles to try and kill bees.
· You try to kill your brother every day.
· Dye your hair pink and follow around the hottest guy you can find.
· You constantly crack your knuckles and do hand signs without even thinking.
· You claim your gym teacher to be your mentor.
· You always wear an orange jumpsuit.
· You claim your life goal is to kill your brother.
· You drink sake and say you are in the "spring time of youth".
· You add the word dattebayo to the end of each sentence.
· You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match by your mouth to create a fireball.
· You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!".
· You always carry a large fan behind you.
· You paste Naruto's face on pictures of your friends and claim to have met him.
· In the middle of the night, you blast a flashlight into your dad's eyes and yell "Chidori!"
· Get Konoha tattoos on various parts of your body.
· Tattoo the love symbol on your forehead to look like Gaara.
· Carry a fan and wave it at anyone with a shadow.
· Draw a swirl on your palm and claim to be able to do the Rasengan.
· When being attacked, you spin in circles to defend yourself.
· When fighting someone, you attack to hit that at their chakra points.
· You name your pig Ton-ton.
· You look in the mirror and think its your shadow clone.
· You yell "Konoha Senpuu" when kicking a soccer ball.
· You carry around a puppet all day and claim it is dangerous.
· You call your teacher Iruka-sensei.
· You go to school with a forehead protector and claim it is the new trend from the Hidden Leaf Village.
· When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times.
· You stay up all night claiming that the Shukaku will eat you.
· You lay and stare at the clouds all day claiming everything to be troublesome.
· You have a frog wallet.
· Every time your class goes on a field trip, you call it a mission.
· You get angry and feel like punching Karin whenever she makes a move on Sasuke.
· Paint your skin red and tell everyone you opened the third chakra gate.
· You type in Konoha as your hometown on Internet forms.
· You keep paper shurikens in your fanny pack.
. You copy and paste this into your profile so everyone knows you are Naruto Crazy.
1. No wasted beer in the name of humour.
2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control
3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her it’s a 6 day waiting period.
4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. (The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving his friend’s home)
5. Short shorts have been banned… Unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.
6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.
8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.
9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare in case a friend is in desperate need.
10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.
11. No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then you’re not a man.
12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.
13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrower puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticeable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.
14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you got to do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favour will one day be replayed.
15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.
Addendum to Man Law No. 15:
If at any point during the process of determining the shotgun rider a hot girl hints that she would like to sit up front the driver has the sole right to declare her the shotgun rider and depending upon the situation may even deny rides to all other passengers. However, if said hot girl is an ex of any passenger they may overrule the driver's decision and make her ride in the back. Additionally, if all passengers happen to be female then revert back to original method of deciding shotgun rider substituting mud wrestling for UFC cage match. The winner then gets either a cold water hose down or shotgun the next ride unless the car is really shitty and the owner doesn’t care about muddy seats.
16. It is PAPER, ROCK, and SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.
17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.
18. You poke it you own it.
19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.
20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.
21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count… rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E … Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet… or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants… (Or any other article of clothing).
23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should pop his collar.
24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.
25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty.
26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat; if not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegetarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.
27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.
28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"
29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are separated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.
30. under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another man’s attempt at getting some tang. Let’s just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch.
31. Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.
32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn’t mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used is said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or an ufc cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it.
33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.
34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to Manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships.
35. Women can't drive.
36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.
37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.
38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you don’t agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support
39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.
42. A man will not live in his parent’s house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.
43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". And the right to leave the room.
44. Sex is more important then talking
45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.
46. Grilling, regardless of weather, is always the first choice for cooking.
47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat
48. Men will invite other men to Man Law
49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "it’s not their brand."
50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.
51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.
52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.
53. If you spill a man’s beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.
54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you can’t drink it in said time, don’t open it. If you can’t drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.
55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.
56. It is never a man’s responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbour’s lawn.
57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.
58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.
59. The bachelor’s party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).
60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. It’s understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.
61. A man purse is still a purse.
62. No man shall dance for fun unless it’s to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.
63. Body paint is only acceptable on a man if it’s on game day and to support his team.
64. No man shall bring a woman to the guy’s night out. This is punishable by verbal abuse for life.
65. If you do not sweat, it’s not a sport. (People sweat during Beer Pong.)
66. If a large snake catches a man off guard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.
67. No man shall wear a beret unless it’s for his military service.
68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.
69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.
70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.
71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.
72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring.
73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.
74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.
75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.
76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.
77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.
78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.
79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch.
80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice.
81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, Lacrosse, or Ice Hockey.
82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys.
83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavoured that comes in a bottle.
84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female.
85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married (female’s identity is subject to change depending on time period Man Law is read).
86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing.
87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-toeye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away.
88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man.
89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions.
90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her.
91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monte Cristo, CAO.
92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined.
93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet.
94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!" (Exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your best friend’s birthday is optional)
104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriend’s cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing. You should know such things.
106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favour of better athletes - as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.
108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
109. You cannot rat out a friend who shows up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks it’s broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
111. Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. And as such said people must consume alcohol on St. Patrick’s Day. Green and/or gold body paint may be worn, but no glitter.
112. When passing another man in a tight area where contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "Fag" may be deemed necessary. Resulting immediate demotion in man status.
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
"Knowledge is power."
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting."
"Can you really trust a sane person?"
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
"you do not question where the log comes from for the log will always be with you as long as you call for it like a part of your soul"-naruto
"You can believe me if you want to, it doesn't matter.""But even though I've failed before, even though Hinata might have failed before, we're not failures. Everyone screws up, but being a failure is letting everything that's happened get to you, to let it beat you in the end like you did. You've got to keep reaching. You're not born to be a success or a failure, you've got to make it that way yourself. No matter what you're going to get knocked down somehow… you've just got to know how to fall… and get back up when you do."-naruto
"i alone am the honored in this world"
"OH MY SOUL ROAM THE HEAVENS!!!"-GUAN YU
"Let the anger of the righteous flow and become the hammer against the wicked. Let the sword of justice run cold with the tears of the faithful." - Unknown
"As time flows onward everything in the world is constantly changing...nothing is eternal." - Unknown
"Stand strong through the storms of life, the sun will always shine on you." - RJ Richie
"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." - Jesse Jackson
"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." - John Wayne
"You can kill the dreamer but you can't kill the dream." - Martin Luther King Jr.
"If you don't go into the tiger's den you can't get the cub." - a famous Japanese saying
I believe there's a place where the restless souls wander. Burdened by the weight of their own sadness, they wait for a chance to set the wrong things right. Only then can they be reunited with the ones they love. Sometimes, a crow shows them the way. Because sometimes, love is stronger than death." - Sarah from The Crow: City of Angels
"If you are able, save for them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for the places they can no longer go. Be not ashamed to say you loved them, though you may or may not have always. Take what they left and what they have taught you with their dying and keep it with your own. And in that time when men decide and feel safe to call war insane, take one moment to embrace those gentle heroes you left behind." - Major Michael Davis O'Donnell, 1 January 1970. Tak To, Vietnam
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke
The fact that the strong kill without mercy and cruelty to the weak ... It is unforgivable!Only those who are ready to die should kill
Death is no excuse for breaking a promise
From now on my sword will be with you
Humans are the only people who are entertained by killing its own kind
there is no way that i let myself die not when i have yet to reach my objectives(inuyasha)
the more fucked up is the situation where you are the more you have to laugh at it(oga tatsumi)
"roaming the skyies sanada yukimura cannot be stopped my burning soul will not be consumed by the flames" do i need to tell you who said it?
"those who break rules are called scum but those who leave their friends are worse than scum" kakashi hatake
"i dont believe in gods i belive in m y own strengh" ikki
There are things that simply can not be stopped, "A legacy," "The dreams of mankind", "The fate of an era." As long as people continue to pursue for "Freedom", there will be nothing to stop them.
The clean becomes dirt, the dirt becomes clean, good becomes bad, bad becomes good, every living thing dies dies and is reborn
"i am the bone of my soul
steel is my body and fire is my blood
i have created over a thousand blades
unknown to death nor known to life
have withstood pain to create many weapons
yet those hands will never hold anything
so as i pray
unlimited blade works" -archer fate stay night
"is the duty of the men to forgive the lies of the women" sanji
If you sacrifice something to get something ...
"A deadlast like me may not be strong enough to take an enemy down, but unlike you, a deadlast like me is strong-willed enough to sacrifice himself for the sake of his comrades!"/NARUTO THE JINCHURIKIS NOTE
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, Richochet,Crow667.
If you actually wouldn't mind school if it was Naruto-related, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie,NejiTenfanforever, Death Note Lover, NarutoLuver35, FDS-Sasuke-fangirl, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Arashigan16, NorthSouthGorem,Crow667
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you fuckin' could, copy this into your profile.-im god!
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.-im weird im actually begining to think that im bipolar not like those idiots that are laughing in one moment and in the next are crying but neverthelles weird
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.-i daydream a lot and became some of a ditz
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!-see previous
If I could have any girl from any anime or book series (this doesn‘t necessarily mean all at once, I‘d take any one I could get) This is something a friend and I were doing one day when we were bored stupid. Not in any particular order. W=girls I'd marry if they were single and interested. I've updated this list to girls I like.
Tsunade (50 or not, she could get it)
Mei Terumi (Mizukage)
Hinata (pt 2) (W)
Shizune- Helllooooo Nurse (W)
Hana- one word; doggystyle
Tsunami- total MILF (W)
Karin- something about glasses and thigh highs
Uchiha Mikoto- See Tsunami
Tenten- she kinda reminds me of Chun-Li, and I likes Chun-Li (W)
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.-see previous
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profil
Put this in your profile if you like purple hair.
If you have ever walked and all of a sudden ended up falling on your ass copy this to your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar then copy this onto your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
If you've called a person a colour copy this into your profile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask if you're alright.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
If you are really random copy this into your profile. CHICKEN WINGS!
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.-dont know who are these guys
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.-so many guys ,so many guys
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
We're a Dying Breed
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because. To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car. To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.
...This one bulletin is for you...
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."
-do you have to ask?
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile.- oh god
ROTFLOLSHTINCBISAGOWOTTARUTDIAIOA: Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud So Hard That I Nearly Choke But I See A Glass Of Water On The Table And Reach Up To Drink It And I'm Okay Again. Post this on your profie if you've done this or think this is true.
A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Copy and Paste if your a Ninja!
Deidara will never be forgotten and will live on in our hearts. If you think this PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completly has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your head off.
If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you,copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name. Lily, The Crazy Evil Akatsuki Neko, Mood-chan-SIRIUS IS UBER HOT, VampireArgonian92, NejiTenfanforever, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KingofRandomness, Dragonfly51, Gaaras1Girl,Lazy'girl-chan, Deidara Lover, Saiyuri Haruno,oOXxJoja LeexXOo, Saku0chan, Crow667
R.I.P. Uchiha Itachi. He was a man who loved peace and who had the strength to follow the path he had chosen even when it became unbearable. Copy and Paste this to your profile and add your name to this list if you would lay a flower on his grave: sunshinelexi, Runo 44, Ralf 55, Bulla49, Saiyuri Haruno,oOXxJoja LeexXOo, Saku0chan,Crow667
If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real so you could be one of them, copy and paste this on your profile.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
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