Frozen Sunflowers in the Night
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Joined 01-16-12, id: 3633587, Profile Updated: 05-17-14
Author has written 6 stories for Night World series, and Twilight.


(that's Spanish for important)


Please email Miss Lydia Bennett, (my school friend and awesome Mod) or another Moderator instead. I will not get back to you in a reasonable amount of time.

Hey everybody, I'm Sterling! (No, that's not my real name!) My name's a secret. Lolz, no it's not. :) You just gotta know me and/or I'll mention it to people randomly... My friends call me Missy, or on the forum I'm on, Sterling or Isabella/Belle/Isa. Okay, so maybe you know my real name now. Oops.


Thanks so much for visiting my page! I'm a huge fan of the Night World series, Harry Potter, anything by Cassandra Clare, Hush, Hush, Percy Jackson, the Hunger Games, and Twilight.

Hobbies: riding, piano, swimming, tenis, hanging with friends, running, role playing (TOTALLY THE FUNNEST THING TO DO ON THIS SITE!!!)

Personality: fun-loving, bubbly, energetic, dramatic (only a little I think exageratory is a better word), caring

Awesomest Smiley Face Eva!!!!!!!!: @_@ Isn't it so cute??????

Soo, my life... riiiiiight... :D

My List of the Most Awesome People on the Site (Closest Friends/Acquaintances)

-The Pinkaholic (Nettie); One of my closest friends, we shall burn our school down someday! (Yes, a dangerous pair!)

-Samantha Riccio (Sammie); Um, we met through a forum, and I love you girlie! :) (And yesss, I love Hibari too! :P)

-missixtyme (Missy); Also met through the forum, hehehe, :D

-Lucky1102 (Lucky); I think I was reading one of your stories when I met you... anyway, I'm in love with your kitty!

-Mrs.Zayn.Malik14 (LJ); Another person I met through forums, I love BETAing for you!

-LightWitch12 (Lexi); I love our random conversations about breakfast food. :P

-Charlotte13245 (Lottie); You're just flat amazing. And you know it. :)

-XxCan'tBeAnyoneButMexX (Mariah); Tehehe, another forum person. :DD

-CupCakeClaudis (Claudia); Someday, you're going to be a professional chef. I promise!

-District13MAJORrebel (Chaysie); I'd never forget ya! ;)))

I'm sure there's tons of others, but I can't think of anyone else right now, so for now, that's all! :D

(Moral of the story- if you want friends on here join a forum.)

Favorite Quotes:

-"Earth without "art" is just "eh."" -I have no idea (Oh, I get it it's the... lol!!!)

-"Vampires don't drink smoothies." -me and my best friend (long story...)

"Every path ends in a pile of dirt." -me & my other best friend (lolz)

"10% of people will like you, no matter what you do. 10% will hate you, no matter what you do. But that other 80%? It's up to you." -one of my teachers (that's actually a proven fact)

"Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know." -William Saroyan (yeah, a little philosiphical, but hey, gotta have some of those)

"Enthusiasm is a kind of faith that has been set on fire." -George Matthew Adams (I have lots of that...)

"The real man wants two things from life: danger and play. That's why he wants the women, the most dangerous toy." (BEFORE YOU GO ALL "you're sexiest against your own gender!" I like this quote 'cause it's true. We are dangerous. And they best be careful who they play with.)

"I dance in the rain, so that no one see me crying."

"Tell me, Mrs. Staples, why did Bluebell have to die?" -Sherlock Homles (OMG, love that show! :D And I know it doesn't make ANY sense out of context, but whenever I hear that now I crack up. )

"We're putting you on a diet.


Because we need you to be in shape.

Are you saying I'm fat?

Not yet.

MERLIN! I am not fat!

You see? It's working!" -Merlin (Hehehe, they're so funny)

I love all the Night World couples, but my order of favorites are:

1. Morgead & Jez

2. Delos & Maggie

3. Ash & Mary-Lynette

4. Rashel & Quinn

5.Keller & Galen

6. Theiry & Hannah

7. Poppy & James

8. Thea & Eric

9. Gillian & David

Night World Oath

When I see a girl with Cancer,

I will remember Poppy North.

When I see James Dean,

I will think of James Rasmussen.

When I look up at the stars,

I will see Mary-Lynnette Carter.

When I see a lazy cat,

I will remeber Ash Redfern.

When I see sibiling rivalry,

I will see Blaise and Thea Harman.

When I see an animal,

I will think of Eric Ross.

When I see snow,

I will remember Gillian Harman.

When I think of Heaven,

I will remember Gary(Angel).

When I see something burn black,

I will think of David Blackburn

When I see an orphan,

I will think of Rashel Jordan.

When I see a cold hearted man,

I will remember John Quinn.

When I Get deja vu,

I will think of Hannah Snow.

When I see sadness in someones eyes,

I will remember Thierry Descouedres.

When I see fire,

I will see Jezebel Redfern.

When I see someone being cocky,

I will think of Morgead Blackthorn.

When I see someone who's determined,

I will remember Maggie Neeley.

When I see royalty,

I will think of Delos Redfern.

When I see a black cat,

I will see Raksha Keller.

When I see a golden Lepard,

I will remember Galen.

"Ash? Get bent and die."-Mary-Lynette Carter.

My favorite of Cassandra Clare's series is the INFERNAL DEVICES. I know most people don't like the time period, but I think it makes it seem more... mystical. And I don't like Clary from the modern on (THE MORTAL INTRUMENTS).

Also, I AH-DORE twilight boys' imprinting stories.

Something you should know: I don't like Bella , so I will hardly even mention her in my fics. Sorry for all the people out there that like her, I just can't stand her.

I love boots and heels! They are really high on my favorite things list.

So I love cats, dogs, horses, and tons of other animals. I also love for my main characters to have a pet cat, so if you notice that most of them do, that's why.

So, my new story's name is "she's so luz-ly." I picked this because all the chapter titles will be song names, and "She's so lovely," "she's so luz-ly," well, you get the picture.
my pictures for what I want Luz and Jake to look like:



(Before you ask, yes, the pic I have of Jake is of Taylor Lautner.)

I'm planning to do my favorite of the wolfs' imprint stories fanfics. I probably will do them with different characters than they imprint on in the story, just so you know.


1) forgetting to eat dinner and then at 11 o'clock realizing that you're hungry

2) that my mom won't get me a cell phone, and then she forgets to pick me up from school

3) arguing with my sister or mom

4) my sister (tough love!)


1) Jacob/Nessie. (It's too... weird a couple to write about, at least to me.)

2) Rachel/Paul. (HATE HATE HATE HATE!)

3) Edward/Bella. (It's not really the couple, it's just them.)

4) Charlie/Renee. (I know they're not really together in the books, I just don't like the idea of them ever having been together.)

5) Jared/OC (Kim's his one and only! :D)


(Erm, this isn't appearing, so pm if you want to know!!)

7 Quick Facts about me:

1. I hate it when people try to sugar coat things. Being blunt is the only way to get through to me.

2. I'm a brunette, but I like dyeing my hair red.

3. I love reading and writing.

4. I'm sixteen. (Pah, I kid you. I'm supposed to be sixteen, but I'm actually fifteen. Looooong story, please don't ask. Unless you want me angry. You really don't want that, buddy.)

5. I love to read people's work and edit stories.

6. I want to be an english teacher or an editor.

7. I have two cats.

If you know any stories that you love, please pm me and tell me what they are!

I will try to update my stories as frequently as I can, but I do have other things to do in my life, so I won't update every day! Sorry! Love y'all!

Lol, I haven't written on this account for like over a year... :P


Favorite Actress: Jennifer Lawrence

Favorite Actor: Chris Meloni

Favorite Singer: Katy Perry

Favorite Band: Erm... Train or Imagine Dragons

Favorite Food: Mac'nCheese (don't judge me)

Favorite Drink: Seltzer!!

Favorite Author: There are so many... um.. Cassandra Clare

Favorite Color: Purple or Red

Favorite Hair Color: Red, that's why I dye it

Favorite Eye Color: Um... I guess... blue? It doesn't really matter to me

I love Jacob. Wanna know why?


While Jacob would be admiring your soft blush,

Edward would be resisting the urge to suck your blood

While Jacob would be able to warm you up on a cold winter day,

Edward would freeze you to death

While Jacob faces problems head-on,

Edward runs away, and then when things get worse, tries to kill himself

While Jacob is thinking about you even when he's sleeping,

Edward is watching you sleep

While Jacob supports any decision you make,

Edward tries to control every aspect of your life

While Jacob is sweet and cheerful,

Edward is arrogant and dramatic

While Jacob will do anything for the love of his life,

Edward will let her slip away

Finally, While Jacob turns into a manly wolf,

Edward sparkles in the sunlight.

See? This proves my point at why I am...


Dear bullies,

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide.

See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.

See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country.

See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow because his family is too poor.

Re-Post this if you are against bullying.

I bet 95% of you won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as their's is.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop (I TOTALLY DO!!!), put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm a GIRL, so I must only care about make-up and skirts.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".


I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST have no social life. (HA! I pulled this off last term, but it is not a regular occurrence)

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (this is for a guy)

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.


I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.


I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.


I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with TEENAGE DRINKERS and SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.


I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.


I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.


I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (WTF??)



I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

HE: Can I buy you a drink?

SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?

SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?

SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.

SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.

HE: Your place or mine?

SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.

HE: Does beauty run in your family?

SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours

HE: I can see forever in your eyes.

SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.

HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.

SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.

HE: You're like a dream.

SHE: Go back to sleep.

HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?

SHE: Chloroform.

HE: I want to give myself to you.

SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.

HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.

HE: I think you're th best looking girl here.

SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.

HE: Can I buy you a drink?

SHE: Sure, but only if you buy my girlfriend one too.

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. *Please know, I'm not trying to get people to convert, I'm just expressing my beliefs.*

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

TWILIGHT FANS: would rather-rely on Alice for future predictions



NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings

TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you!

TWILIGHT FANS: Say shut up or i'll get James to kill you

NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that vampires are all like Dracula

TWILIGHT FANS: Know ALOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires

NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell, HELP ME SOMEBODY!

TWILIGHT FANS: When being chased yell, JACOB, SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing thunderball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation


NORMAL PEOPLE: Yell, the sun! It burns!

TWILIGHT FANS: Yell, the sun! It makes me sparkle!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile

TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on their profile!


My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid, I must be bad

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long.

When I awake I am all alone

The house is dark

My parents aren't home.

When mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With the bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But it's now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And finally he stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah.

I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Put this in your profile if you think child abuse is wrong!

Guys are like...

onions. They smell and make you cry.

play-do. You can shape them in your mind however you want but, in the end, they always turn out as a crappier version of what you imagined.

shuffle. They never quite play the tune you're looking for.

guns. If you don't know how to use them, STAY AWAY!

Taio Crus. They only wanna break-break your heart.

Put this on your profile if you love guys!

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people looked at you weird, copy and paste this into your profile

If you really hate those e-mails that say 'Make a wish! If you don't send this to 50 people in 1 minute, it won't come true!', but still send it on anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished a book character was real so, so, so incredibly bad, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever said a totally random comment that had nothing to do with the conversation for no reason whatsoever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe anymore. Copy and paste this in your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your head off.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1)Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

120 (it's more then that) Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter

1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.

9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.

10. Make them play Quidditch with you.

11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.

12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public.

13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK.

14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.

15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.

16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come permanent marker.

17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life.

18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter codename. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.

19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.

20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.

21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.

22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.

23. Pretend you can do magic.

24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.

25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you.

26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with "Three turns should do it" in a very serious voice.

30. Break any awkward silences by saying, "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons?"

31. Tell a very long joke using a random Harry Potter quote as the punchline and then laugh hysterically.

32. ...make sure the joke isn't funny.

33. Use the titles "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" to refer to random people.

34. ... make sure no one knows who you're talking about.

35. Write letters to people (friends, neighbors...politicians) and ask them to join S.P.E.W.

36. ...hand fliers advertising it to random passerby.

37. Report Dumbledore's death to your local authorities.

38. Call them repeatedly asking if Percy Weasley is there and hang up before they can reply.

39. Pop up in place you're not supposed to be and insist that you were only trying to Apparate.

40. If you're late for something, blame it on your broken Time Turner.

41. Deck yourself out in all of your Harry Potter gear when you know you'll be going to a public place.

42. Walk past a wall over and over again, stopping randomly to bang on. When you receive weird stares, shout, "What?! I'm look for the Room of Requirement!"

43. Every time you see them, demand an explanation of why exactly they don't like Harry Potter.

44. If anyone tells you you'll go to hell for reading Harry Potter, either: a) jump and down and tell them that you can't wait; b) tell them you'll meet them there; c) sing "Weasley Is Our King" over and over again; or d) ask them to back up this claim with evidence, and laugh at them when they can't.

45. Play the soundtracks while they're stuck in your car.

46. ...add commentary. ( Oh, this is where they...)

47. When one of the movies is on TV, call to remind them.

48. ...every five minutes.

49. If they ask for your phone number, tell them it's 6-2-4-4-2.

50. Say "Alohomora!" everytime you open a door.

51. Sort every person you meet into one of the four Houses.

52. Follow them around while acting out a scene from the book doing very annoying voices for all the characters. Expect them to join in, and act offended when they don't.

53. Count down to some obscure Harry Potter event, whether it's Dumbledore's birthday, or when a Harry Potter DVD comes out. Keep saying: "87 (86, 85, etc.) more days!" in the middle of every conversation you have with your friend. Smile in a superior way when they ask what you're counting down to.

54. Start talking about a deceased Harry Potter character and suddenly burst into hysterical tears.

55. Refuse to be comforted.

56. Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's.

57. Knit them hats and insist that you're just trying to liberate them.

58. Talk to animals and insist that they're Animagi.

59. Treat them to lunch and then suddenly realize you can't pay for the meal since the restaurant doesn't accept Galleons, Sickles, or Knuts.

60. Run up to random men with long, dark hair and scream, "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

61. Point at modern electronic devices and loudly say, "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with..."

62. Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper about the evils of our society ( Namely, Death Eaters and discrimination against friendly werewolves).

63. Send them numerous letters informing them that they have been selected to attend Hogwarts.

64. Carry around a shiny rock and proclaim that you possess the Sorcerer's Stone.

65. Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

66. End every converastion and/or letter with "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

67. ...refuse to provide an explanation.

68. Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

69. Say "Lumos" when turning on a light.

70. Point and grunt and insist that you're speaking Troll.

71. Refuse to wash your hair and explain that you're going for the Snape look.

72. Spend hours at a time trying to get your broom to fly.

73. Invite them over for the night and force them to watch the first three movies with you.

74. If they leave for any reason, restart the movie and tell them it's the Time Turner scene.

75. Shriek loudly and insist that you're speaking Mermish.

76. If you're asked to retrieve something, shout "Accio!" loudly.

77. ...when this doesn't work, throw a fit.

78. Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

79. Talk like Hagrid.

80. Point to garden gnomes and say, "Silly Muggles don't have a clue about what gnomes look like!" in a very loud voice.

81. Take them to a CD store and make them help you look for the newest Weird Sisters album.

82. Yell "Avada Kedavra" anytime they give the anti-HP lecture, then fake excruciating pain as your soul rips in two.

83. Write "Enemies of the Heir, BEWARE!" in red paint on their wall.

84. When confronted about the message, refuse to take responsibility and/or explain it further.

85. Hum Hedwig's Theme constantly and be sure to include any crescendos, decrescendos, accents, etc.

86. Petition to have Hedwig's Theme become the new National Anthem.

87. Wear all black and explain that you're in mourning over the death of "The Only One He Ever Feared."

88. ...when asked for am explanation of this cryptic title, cry hysterically.

89. Replace their entire movie collection with the Harry Potter films.

90. If they ask you about the weather, solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

91. Print this out and use it as a checklist.

92. Insist that they subscribe for your new Harry Potter newsletter and when they say no, act like you've been seriously offended.

93. Potter Puppet Pals, anyone?

94. Knit them a maroon jumper every year - especially if maroon isn't their color.

95. When taking the stairs with them, stop and insist that you have to wait because the staircases are moving.

96. If someone turns off the lights, make a loud cracking sound and pretend to Apparate to the other side of the room.

97. Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone offers you.

98. Toss a small handful of sand and yell out, "Diagon Alley!"

99. If you go to a train station with them, loudly ask random people if they know where you can find Platform 9 3/4. Do this in an extremely fake British accent.

100. When your friend is checking sports scores, ask them if they can find out the score of the latest Quidditch match.

101. If they refuse, complain (loudly) that you missed the semi-final match between the Chudley Cannons and the Wimbourne Wasps and you need to know who will be advancing to the finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes.

102. At your next sleepover, draw a lightning-bolt scar on your forehead, and just as your friend is drifting off to sleep, grab your forehead and start screaming that you dreamed Voldemort killed your parents.

103. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.

104. When at a train station with them, repeatedly throw yourself against the wall between Platforms 9 and 10. If someone asks if you need help, state in a panicked voice that you're going to miss the Hogwarts Express, and do they have a flying car that you could borrow?

105.At random moments, pick up a wand like object and run around a room, screaming deadly curses and disturbing jinxes. Then collapse, act faint and say that you must be immediately to St. Mungos for you had been placed under the Imperius curse. When not taken, repeat the process.

106. While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

107. Throw the chessboard across the room when the pieces don't move.

108. Invite them to play "find the Horcrux" with you.

109. Tell them you're wearing an invisibility cloak, then hide.

110. Say "Knock knock." When the person says "Who's there?", say "You Know." When they say "You Know Who?", roll on the floor laughing. When they say they don't get it, become very offended and refuse to explain.

111. Wear mismatched clothes and if someone asks you why say it's because you can never keep up with the muggle fashions.

112. Send out birthday party invitations for a Harry Potter character. Be sure to call everyone who doesn't respond and ask them if they're coming.

113. On the first day of school, ask all of your teachers if "Hogwarts, a History" will be required reading.

114. In casual conversation, mention things you've been taught by Professor Flitwick.

115. Call your local station or cable provider and ask if they will be carrying the Chuddly Cannon games this season.

116. Write all letters to said person on parchment with quills.

117. Whenever they read the newspaper in public, complain loudly about how Scrimegeour is paying them to keep the big stories quiet.

118. Drag them along to the nearest place that has old brick buildings, pull out your pink umbrella, and start tapping the bricks - explain that you're looking for Diagon Alley.

119. Whenever it's foggy outside, scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

120. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.

121. Insist the radio is called a Wizarding Wireless Network.

122. When travelling long distances, insist on going by Floo Powder - while grabbing a handful of soil from the nearest flowerpot.

123. Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

124. ..refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

125. Speak in a loud harsh voice at random moments and make predictions about people. Then, use your normal voice again and pretend that you don't remember anything.

126. Constantly remind them that you're Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.

127. Walk up to random people and ask them if their initials are R.A.B.

128. If they say no, give them a dirty mistrusting look.

129. If they say yes, then tackle them and demand that they hand over the Horcrux.

130. Yell "Crucio" at drivers who cut you off.

131. Call them every night and ask what the Transfiguration homework is.

The title kind of explains itself!!! but...Still totally awsome and funny!!!!

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

3) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

4) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

5) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

6) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

7) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

8) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

9) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"

10) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

11) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

12) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

13) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

14) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate.

15) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

16) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

17) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

18) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

19) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

20) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

21) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

22) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".

23) I will not put Muggle fairy books in the History section at the library.

24) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

25.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

26.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

27.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.

28.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

29.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

30.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

31.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

32.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

33.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

34.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

35.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

36.)-Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

37.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

38.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

39.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

40.). -I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

41.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

42.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

43.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

44.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

45.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

46.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.

47.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

48.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

49.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

50.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

51.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

52.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

53.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

54.) - Especially not all of them at once.

55.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

56.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

57.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

58.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently.

59.) -Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

60.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

61.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

62.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

63.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

64.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

65.)-Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

66.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

67.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

68.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

69.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

70.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

71.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

72.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

73.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

74.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

75.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

76.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

77.) -I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

78.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

79.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

80.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

81.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

82.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

83.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry

84.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

85.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

86.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

87.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

88.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

89.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

90.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

91.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

92.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

93.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

94.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

95.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

96.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”

97.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

98.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams.

99.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

100.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.

101.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

102.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.

103.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

104.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

105.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.

106.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

107.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car.

108.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.

109.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.

110.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

111.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.

112.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

113.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

114.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

115.) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

116.) I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

117.) I will not reenact Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.

118.) I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.

119.) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

120.) I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

121.) It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

122.) Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

123.) There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.

124.) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

125.) The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

126.) I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".

127.) There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

128.) I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.

129.) Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

130.) If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.

131.) I will not encourage the Holse Elves to form a union.

132.) Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

133.) When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.

134.)Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

135.) I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher. Nor will I attempt to stake Professor Snape.

136.) If I spot the Dark Mark I shall not shout 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'

137.) Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die. (Is this Star Wars or The Princess Bride?)

138.) I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.

139.) Yelling 'To infinity and BEYOND!' was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

140.) I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in the showers.

141.) Hogwarts is in theUK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.

142.) Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.

143.) When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'.

144.) Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable.

145.) There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".

146.) Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.

147.) I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna.

148.) I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint.

149.) "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

150.) Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.

151.) I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

152.) I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". That goes double for Voldemort.

153.) I'm not on Survivor, and therefore I'm not allowed to vote people out of the common room.

154.) It is not respectful to use a Polyjuice potion to become Lord Voldemort’s look-alike and glare at every person within three feet of me

155.) – Neither should I steal Harry Potters’ wand to complete the outfit

156.) It is not a good idea to teach Peeves pick-pocketing, lock-picking, or any similar thing

157.) – neither is it to convince him to join my side in return

158.) No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

159.) I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow.

160.) However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

161.) I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.

162.) I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

163.) I will not steal Veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea.

164.) The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn't work.

165.) I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”

166.) I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her.

167.) I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did.

168.) I should not tell Umbridge that I have a doggie named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway.

169.) I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors.

170.) A hug is not all Snape needs.

171.) I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff ofNottingham”.

172.) I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.

173.) I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party.

174.) I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.”

175.) I will not refer to Professer Dumbledore as ‘Tim the Enchanter’

176.) I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall.

177.) I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years.

178.) Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer.

179.) Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny.

180.) I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!”

181.) When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”

182.) Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come.

183.) When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.”

184.) Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice.

185.) I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?”

186.) Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”.

187.) I do not have a Dalek patronus.

188.) I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”.

189.) Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”.

190.) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

192.) I will not go to class skyclad.

193.) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

194.) I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

195.) I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.

196.) I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

197.) I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

198.) I am not a sloth Animagus.

199.) I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout “Long live Lord Voldemort!” because I think its funny.

200.) I will not kiss Trevor.

201.) I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

202.) Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.

203.) I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

204.) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

205.) I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

206.) I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

207.) I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

208.) If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

209.) Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

210.) I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.

211.) Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword.

212.) I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.

213.) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

214.) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

215.) -Or any other Slytherin.

216.) I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

217.) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.

218.) -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.

219.) -I am not a Professor, at all.

220.) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

221.) -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

222.) -It was not an honest mistake.

223.) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

224.) I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.

225.) -Or the teacher laundry.

226.) Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.

227.) While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.

228.) I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present.

229.) -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.

230.) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labelled firewhiskey.

231.) -Charming the label does not change anything.

232.) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.

233.) -Even if I brought enough for everyone.

234.) -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.

235.) Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.

236.) No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.

237.) Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

238.) -Testing this last is not funny.

239.) May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

240.) The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

241.) I am not possessed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth.

242.) -Neither is The Fat Lady.

243.) When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.

244.) -Especially if I can't.

245.) If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."

246.) Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

247.) Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

248.) -Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

249.) Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.

250.) I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.

251.) -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.

252.) Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

253.) House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

254.) It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal post-box.

255.) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

256.) My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."

257.) Neville is not my valet.

258.) When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."

259.) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

260.) House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

261.) Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

262.) There is no bring a muggle to school day.

263.) -And I should stop insisting there is.

264.) I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.

265.) I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's Homeboys."

266.) I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."

267.) I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.

268.) -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.

269.) I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.

270.) I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

271.) I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of "intelligent design.

272.) I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

273.) I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.

274.) I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

275.) I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

276.) I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

277.) I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!" during Charms class.

278.) I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.

279.) I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.

280.) I will not enchant the telescopes on theAstronomyTowerto display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams.

281.) Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

282.) I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".

283.) Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.

284.) I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.

285.) I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler or Osama bin Laden.

286.) I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

287.) I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink.

288.) Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.

289.) Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

290.) I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.

291.) I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.

292.) -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger.

293.) I may not have a private army.

294.) -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.

295.) I must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.

296.) "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

297.) Portable Swamps are not funny.

298.) Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters or other sensitive documents in them.

299.) Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.

300.) Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.

301.) Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy; he does not need to be told... again.

302.) Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.

303.) Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

304.) Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.

305.) Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.

306.) Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

307.) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

308.) No part of the school uniform is edible.

309.) -Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

310.) Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.

311.) Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

312.) -Not allowed to use silencing charms my Prefects.

313.) -Not allowed to use silencing charms, period.

314.) Not allowed to prophesy the end of the world more than once.

315.) Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.

316.) -Especially not if I actually have them.

317.) Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.

318.) -Also will not ask her to fly under the influence.

319.) Will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.

320.) Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.

321.) Will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.

322.) I am not allowed to charm the words Ferret Boy onto Dracos forehead.

323.) I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.

324.) -Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.

325.) Playgirl and Playboy are not on the reading list for muggle studies.

326.) Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.

327.) I may not challenge prefects to meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.

328.) I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.

329.) I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

330.) I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.

331.) -Even if my prefect did it.

332.) I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open robe & tie" and call it an authorized uniform.

333.) Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.

334.) Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.

335.) I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl.

336.) - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.

337.) - The same goes for Hermione.

338.) I will not use invisibility charms on anyone's clothing.

339.) It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not comment about how the Minister of Magic is "packing.

340.) The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.

341.) I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on theAstronomyTower.

342.) - Likewise the satellite dish.

343.) The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin boys if they've mastered it yet.

344.) The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way and I am to stop insinuating that he is.

345.) I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.

346.) I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the Wolfsbane potion every month.

347.) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

348.) I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

349.) I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during dinner in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'

350.) I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.

351.) - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

352.) -Especially not with kazoos.

353.) The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.

354.) I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

355.) I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.

356.) Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.

357.) I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.

358.) -Or Wicca.

359.) -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.

360.) I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.

361.) -Or the referee.

362.) I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.

363.) I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum.

364.) -I will not give people Veritaserum.

365.) Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

366.) -Neither is Professor Snape.

367.) The house elves are not there to do my homework.

368.) -Neither are the ghosts.

369.) I am not a magical creature.

370.) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

371.) I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

372.) Seamus Finnegan does not have a pot of gold under his bed.

373.) I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

374.) Grindewald is not my role model.

375.) -Neither is Voldemort.

376.) I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

377.) I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

378.) I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

379.) "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts.

380.) I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

381.) I will not attempt to make Professor's Trelawney's predictions come true.

382.) Professor Snape's problem is not that "he needs to get laid".

383.) Draco Malfoy is not a ferret animagus.

384.) Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

385.) Providing Peeves with a case of dung bombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.

386.) Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

387.) Regardless of how much Professor Snape's hair might annoy me, it is inappropriate to sneak into his room at night and shave it off.

388.) -Likewise, it is unkind to make the aforementioned hair into a wig and wear it to potions class.

389.) -Nobody cares that it makes me feel "pretty".

390.) Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.

391.) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

392.) "OMGWTF" is not a spell.

393.) Cornelius Fudge does not appreciate being called "Fudgie the Whale.

394.) Shouting "Accio Dobby!" is not the proper way to get house-elf assistance.

395.) I will not go into Dumbledore's pensieve looking for graphic faculty smut.

396.) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

397.) The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

398.) I am not allowed to leave the catnip out in Professor McGonagall's class.

399.) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

400.) I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore. Even if it would be amusing.

401.) -Not even if I want to try to convince others he's going senile

402.) I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies. Nor will I ask it of Professor McGonagall.

403.) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

404.) Telling people that Professor Snape is an animagus and turns into a snake is not recommended.

405.) Please do not tell 1st years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl.

406.) I will not get a muggle tattoo artist to tattoo the Dark Mark on any part of my body.

407.) I will not tell 1st year Hufflepuffs that the Dark Lord eats Hufflepuffs for breakfast. Or any other meal. And then tell them that if they inform anyone of the warning the Dark Lord will choose them next.

408.) Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes it.

409.) Please stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student.

410.) I am not to "walk on water" in front of muggles.

411.) I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms.

412.) Draco Malfoy is not a vampire.

413.) -Especially not a vampire named 'Spike'.

414.) Pinning Confederate flags to the backs of Death Eater masks is not wise.

415.) Voldemort does not wish to appear in a Visine commercial.

416.) -Or as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics.

417.) The ceiling of the Great Hall would not look better as an Omni IMAX dome.

418.) Calling Voldemort "Baldemort" is inappropriate.

419.) Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.

420.) -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.

421.) I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.

422.) Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom.

423.) Cannot charm all dictionaries to have: "Gryffindor" as the definition of "gullible.

424.) Robes are not optional.

425.) Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.

426.) There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".

427.) -Even if I do conjure him up.

428.) Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Harry" in Neville Longbottom's books is both unfunny and cruel.

429.) I will not sing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song when the Weasley family passes by.

430.) -Or the "Hee-Haw" theme song.

431.) -Or "Eight is Enough".

432.) Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised.

433.) I will not ask the school to sponsor a break dancing crew.

434.) Getting Colin Creevey drunk and steering him toward a sleeping Harry Potter is just a bad idea all around.

435.) -Then using his camera to take incriminating photos is not nice.

436.) Coming up behind Harry while he and Draco are glowering at each other and saying "Oh, go on and kiss him already!" is not funny.

437.) -Even if Luna Lovegood does say, "Yes, I thought so too."

438.) I am not a Balrog animagus.

439.) The house never did fall on Professor Umbridge's sister, nor is she suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result.

440.) I will not ask people what their demons are.

441.) I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.

442.) I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.

443.) I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.

444.) It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.

445.) Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes.

446.) -Neither is Dracula.

447.) I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.

448.) If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.

449.) Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas present to the House means you should watch your back until June.

440.) -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.

441.) -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.

442.) I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.

443.) -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school".

444.) I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a whole handful simultaneously.

445.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

446.) I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASH SLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"

447.) I will not give Hagrid Pokmon cards and convince him that they are real animals

448.) -Likewise, I will not tell First Year Muggle-borns that Pokmon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures curriculum

449.) Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

450.) Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

451.) "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.

452.) The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.

455.) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.

456.) -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.

457.) -Especially if he's wearing it.

458.) Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.

459.) Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor or any similar character is not an appropriate subject for a Muggle Studies essay.

460.) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

461.) The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".

462.) -Even if that is an accurate description.

463.) No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.

464.) -This goes double for superglue.

465.) I am not to dance naked in the great hall.

466.) -Or on the grounds.

467.) -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.

468.) I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.

469.) The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form.

470.) I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.

471.) I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look more like Orlando Bloom.

472.) - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season.

473.) I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.

474.) Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'

475.) -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'

476.) Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

477.) Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.

478.) -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.

479.) Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable.

480.) -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.

481.) -Or 'I'm too sexy'.

482.) I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"

483.) Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

484.) I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.

485.) -Especially if it's not true.

486.) -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.

487.) -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details

488.) A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.

489.) -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.

490.) -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.

491.) Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.

492.) Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.

493.) Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around singing "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".

494.) I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.

495.) -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.

496.) -Or Harry and Draco.

497.) Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.

498.) Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.

499.) Using Love potion number nine on people are illegal. Therefore I should not make Harry fall in love with Pansy Parkinson. Again.

500.) I will not wear my 'I'm a Death Eater and Proud Of IT!' shirt at school

501.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

502.) -Or a Death Eater

503.) -Or Professor Snape

504.) -Or Harry Potter

505.) -Or Herimone when she turned into a cat

506.) -Or Draco Malfoy and claim I'm a vampire

507.) -I'm not allowed to dress up on Halloween

508.) I will not put Harry & Draco in a closet together and see if freaking gay sex occurs

509.) In Divinations Class, I'm not allowed to say I predicted that Snape is going kill Neville, no matter how funny Neville's girl screams are.

510.) Fortune Cookies to not count as extra credit in Divinations Class

511.) -That also counts for tarot cards

512.) At End-of-the-year-battle against Voldemort, I will not go up to Harry and say "May the Force be with you"


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


You love hoodies.

You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice. (Sometimes)
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
Baggy pants are cool to wear
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes



You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice. (Sometimes)
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

1st day of school: I'm so excited!

1 week later: When are the holidays?

Hey, did you do the homework?" "WAIT, WE HAD HOMEWORK?!"

FEELS like 20 minutes have gone by in class. It's ONLY been 2

If there's a fire at school, who's actually gonna stay quiet and walk? (we ALL agree on this...)

"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" No, that's why I'm whispering...

copy and paste this if your one of these students!!

Things to think about!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

copy and paste this on your profile if you got a thought outta' this


Female come backs
pick up line comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Post this on your profile to make someone smile!


1. You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

2. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

3. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

4. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

5. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

6. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

7. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

8. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

9. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

10. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

11. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.

12.Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

13. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (He he he... oops)

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

42 things to do in an elevator!!

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. MEOW occasionally.

6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7. SAY -DING at each floor.

8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.

25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"

34. TELL people that you can see their aura.

35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air.

39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors

40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39/

41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.

42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has SURVIVED, died, or is LIVING WITH cancer! it's died for me. :( I miss you!!


When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:




When you rearrange the letters:


1.YOUR REAL NAME: Isabella

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Isaizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Red Tiger

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Katherine Squirrel

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Smiarmar

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (current underwear color, favorite drink): Black lemonade

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Sikatmy

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): black Magnus

9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Darcy

10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (something bad, favorite fruit): Hooting Blackberry

11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (third favorite color, pirate accessory): Pink Hook


(U U) (this is the most important thing on this page)

(GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... IT'S NOT SHOWING UP!!! I'LL FIX THIS!!!) (my friend made that for me. I love it sooooooo much!)


(゚、 。 7

l、 ヽ


Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.


Well, I'm working on my forum right now. That has my complete focus. (We're #3! WE CAN DO IT!) As well as my story that I'm writing off of FF.

School's boring as Hell, but hey, that's life!!

And, pm me if there's anything you're curious about, or if you just wanna talk. :)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Love will tear us apart by draiochta reviews
Sonia is imprinted upon by a certain Jacob Black. What should have been love turns into hate as Jacob fights the imprint for Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 66 - Words: 175,515 - Reviews: 1300 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 407 - Updated: 8/1/2016 - Published: 2/8/2012 - Jacob
EMOTION by Qmagic reviews
Seth has always loved Jacob, but after he finally confesses; Jacob rejects him and the pack turns on him. Will Seth fall into despair or will his dreams come true? Follow the story of Seth, Jacob and the Quileute wolf pack as they struggle to learn the meaning of love and forgiveness while coping with dark secrets that may very well lie deep beneath the La Push reservation grounds.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 216,250 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 2/5/2016 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Jacob, Seth
Mates For Eternity by xxLuAshxx reviews
Male vampires are very possessive and dominant of their mates. Bella Swan is a vampire before she moves to the small town of Forks. What happens when she moves to Forks? *POSSESSIVE EDWARD & LEMONS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT* R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 67,063 - Reviews: 1440 - Favs: 2,608 - Follows: 1,226 - Updated: 1/19/2016 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Adventures Of Bella The Nanny by Joie Cullen reviews
Bella, a NY Jewish girl turns a bad break up and job loss into something way cooler. Being a nanny, for the kids of a hot Broadway producer. But it's not easy when he's got a psycho assistent that hates her guts. ExB, T, Based on The Nanny
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 87,124 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 12/1/2015 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Bella, Edward
My Imprinted Love by lilmama9886 reviews
Isabella Clearwater is running from her abusive alpha boyfriend. She runs to La Push were Alpha Sam and Beta Paul both imprint on her. Rate M for Abuse,Rape, Language and lots of lemony goodness.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,532 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 11/24/2015 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Bella, Paul
The Alpha, The Hot Head and The Human by blondie134 reviews
What happens when Bella moves back home to be with her father and gets imprinted on by two wolves and finds out she has two soulmates. Sam/Paul/Bella...Dominant and possesive Paul and Sam
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,735 - Reviews: 609 - Favs: 842 - Follows: 910 - Updated: 11/13/2015 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Bella, Paul
More Than No Good by KuraiArcoiris reviews
Reborn had never disagreed with any of the ninth's decisions, but when the Vongola boss sent him to Japan to train Sawada Tamaki, the hitman started to think that the ninth had chosen the wrong twin…
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 59 - Words: 304,794 - Reviews: 3491 - Favs: 4,334 - Follows: 3,919 - Updated: 6/22/2015 - Published: 2/2/2012 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., Reborn
My Badass Cousin, His Badass Imprint by tokiluv reviews
Regular JakexBella imprint story but throw in Bella's cousin and Seth imprints on her, only trouble can ensure. Jake imprints on Bella, Bella tells her cousin about her troubles, She gets mad and comes to Forks, Seth imprints on her, and she hates him for it.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,163 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/7/2015 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Jacob, Seth
Voices by Sunni Dayze reviews
Aria is Jared's twin sister and was bullied by his best friend Paul for a few years. Aria despises Paul, but what will happen after he returns with her brother after disappearing for a few weeks and imprints on the one girl who hates him the most? Paul/OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 73,089 - Reviews: 501 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 703 - Updated: 4/2/2015 - Published: 6/3/2011 - Jared, Paul, OC, Kim
Have Mercy: Part One by sunshine2006578 reviews
Jacob didn't imprint on Nessie. Instead, he sank into a devestating depression. Mercedes, the new girl in town, becomes his imprint. And suddenly, he's better than before-only now, the Volturi are coming back...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 68 - Words: 146,346 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 3/24/2015 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Jacob, OC - Complete
Rescue me, my Werewolf by Michelle7 reviews
When all your life you've been abused, how can you deal with each new obstacle in your path? Sophie's an abused girl looking for somehting more than hatred. When Paul makes her life more miserable than it already is, how will the two cope when he Imprints on her? Or when there just seems to always be one more obstacle in their way to being happy? M for Rape/Abuse/Language/Lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 66 - Words: 148,283 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 1/15/2015 - Published: 9/23/2010 - [Paul, OC] Embry, Sam - Complete
The Submissive by jacobluver113 reviews
So many people think the submissive is the weakling and the underling. But they don't have a clue as to what a submissive truly is. My name is Jacob Ephraim Black-Lahote-Uley. And this is my story. FUTURE MPREG and of course SLASH!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,884 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 502 - Updated: 12/19/2014 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Jacob, Paul, Sam
Mafia Row by Phantom Hitman 1412 reviews
Welcome to Mafia Row, where normal criminals fear to tread. When the Strongest and Highest Ranked House get a new addition, why does it seem as if the mood has lightened? Parental!Arcobaleno now including Bermuda. Involves nearly every Mafia Family too.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 100 - Words: 377,414 - Reviews: 2524 - Favs: 1,618 - Follows: 1,344 - Updated: 11/8/2014 - Published: 3/3/2012 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., Arcobaleno
Alpha's Mate by KaiaLuna reviews
Sam imprints on an emotionally damaged Bella when she moves to Forks to live with Charlie. RATED M FOR A REASON! - Edited and revised.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 186,479 - Reviews: 1964 - Favs: 2,291 - Follows: 1,175 - Updated: 10/16/2014 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Bella, Sam - Complete
Call Of The Alpha by PhoenixWhite1120 reviews
Jacob's life has been nothing but hurt and betrayal, but when Sam Uley imprints on him this is bound to change...-right? Jacob's a bit OCC in this one due to his circumstances. SamxJacob, JarredxSeth boyxboy don't like don't read.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,723 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 8/21/2014 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Jacob, Sam
Denial by shadowglove reviews
SLASH. AU. Jacob is in denial. Bella is his sister. Edward is in his mind. And apparently, according to Alice, everyone in the wolf tribe are destined to imprint on a vampire...and will also catch a case of the Gay Flu too. Pack/Coven Fic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 73,760 - Reviews: 702 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 621 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 12/21/2010 - Jacob, Edward
The Pack Imperative by unbidden16 reviews
The Quileute legends were not entirely accurate in their depiction of imprinting. Who was to know that the pack imperative was so strong? Bella is just about to find out how strong. A/U. Warning: ménage, mature themes, domestic discipline. 'STRONG' SCENES REMOVED TO ULTERIOR SITES DUE TO CRITERIA...see profile for details/links.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 279,493 - Reviews: 2766 - Favs: 1,920 - Follows: 1,975 - Updated: 6/13/2014 - Published: 5/23/2011 - Bella, Jacob
You are mine, Isabella Swan Forever by LilyAurora reviews
Wolves are possesive and dominant by nature, but what will happen when one becomes obsessed with Bella Swan. Will she let herself be consumed by his desire or will she fight it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 141,323 - Reviews: 2538 - Favs: 2,426 - Follows: 2,721 - Updated: 4/27/2014 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Bella, Paul
My idiot and I by Bunpire sapphirerocks reviews
"Wait,so you're saying I am his soulmate and we are engaged?" "Yes,that's the truth. And BTW you are moving in with him." "What!" "Aww, come-on it'll be fun" the idiot smirked. No one ever saw this coming. World war 3 is about to start. Read and review!:D
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 59,041 - Reviews: 773 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 3/5/2014 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Ash R., Mary-Lynette C.
Sometimes It Takes a While by Ozma333 reviews
Teddy/Victoire. Story follows Victoire through her fifth and sixth years at Hogwarts as she flirts, dates, and eventually discovers her feelings for a certain metamorphagus. Ends with the famous Platform 9 and 3/4's kiss.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 85,457 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 707 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 2/23/2014 - Published: 2/6/2009 - Victoire W., Teddy L. - Complete
Like a Boss by ChirpChirp1827 reviews
One Hundred Drabbles showcasing Tsuna as a boss.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 100 - Words: 28,350 - Reviews: 382 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 1/20/2014 - Published: 5/13/2012 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S. - Complete
The Alphas Seer by LittleLowe reviews
As soon as he looked into her grey orbs he knew she was the one, but what happens when the girl he used to be obsessed with suddenly realises what she's missing by letting him go…Jacob/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 54 - Words: 136,790 - Reviews: 1251 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 1/7/2014 - Published: 12/14/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Dangerous Seduction by MuggleBornWY reviews
"Let me go!" - "No," he says, smirking. "You're coming with me." An accidental sight of something she should've never seen led her to meet him. Initial loathing. Then sparks starts flying. UPDATED!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 73,835 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 12/31/2013 - Published: 10/21/2011 - Alec, Bella
The Broken Angel by lovepink495 reviews
Lily Swan is Bella's younger sister. She falls in love with Jacob only to get her heart broken.Can a certain werewolf mend her broken heart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 24,058 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 11/29/2013 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Paul - Complete
Camelot by brb bbe reviews
I've just hit a nudist. With my car. And I'm pretty sure he's dead. Oh, and by the way, did I mention when he woke up - he stared at me like a lunatic? Yep, I had just hit a nutter with no clothes on. Could this day get any worse? JACOB X OC DURING BD UNDERGOING EDITING
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 163,074 - Reviews: 1077 - Favs: 826 - Follows: 778 - Updated: 10/8/2013 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Jacob, OC
The True Imprint by WhiteWolfePrincess10 reviews
What if Jake's True Imprint wasn't Reneemse? A/U and OOC. Full summary inside. Rated M just in case because of language,some violance and everything, possible lemons :
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 95,360 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Jacob
The Day of The Falcon by Naleky reviews
He's a phantom. No one knows his face or his real name. And he never fails. Merlin is the most wanted master thief of the United Kingdom, a shadow that can't be caught and can't be stopped. But with Arthur Pendragon – the new head of the task force set out to capture him – Merlin might have just met his match. A breathtaking game of cat-and-mouse begins. Modern AU
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 32,988 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 270 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 8/19/2013 - Published: 4/2/2013 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Imprinting Sucks! by Trunk'sfallenAngel reviews
"I barely know what's going on anymore. I mean, I thought I knew, but I really don't. Every-where I look there's always a new surprise and I just want my life to be normal and with me being whatever the hell I am, having a werewolf brother, werewolf friends and having a werewolf imprint on me makes normality impossible! I don't hate you Jake, but I'm NOT okay with this!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 82,121 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Jacob, OC
Those Who Dance Within the Flame by Scarlet has Fantasy Issues reviews
"George, please make this easy for the both of us…" "Make what easy?" George knocked her hand down and pulled her to him. "Selena, you're talking like this is goodbye for us." George/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 54 - Words: 152,345 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 8/4/2013 - Published: 7/21/2011 - George W., OC - Complete
Keep Dreaming by Mrs.Cena.lover reviews
Alexa Fuller not only had to deal with raising her brother Brady after her father's death but Paul Lahote. Alexa is thrown into a whole new world along with her best friend Kim, a world her father used to tell her before bed. A Paul imprint story. (Under editing)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 62,205 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Paul, Brady - Complete
The Wrong Wolf by Suz26 reviews
*On HIATUS* Kim's been crushing on Jared since grade school. One day he suddenly takes an interest in her. Will he be everything she's hoped or will reality fall short of fantasy? Will another wolf prove more compatible? M/AU/OOC - Paul/Kim/Jared
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 250,085 - Reviews: 907 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 7/13/2011 - Kim, Paul
Monster by TheBloodyWhiteWolfxoxo reviews
I'm nothing but a monster burning in a hell that only exists in my head. There's no hope until one harmless glance chances logic and binds two eternal enemies together in a twist of fate. Can the escape from this hell be found in an infuriating dimpled grin? Or is this another dark, dirty trick of my own mind? A forbidden passion, hellfire, and wild tempers—this is no fairytale.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 68 - Words: 298,780 - Reviews: 1531 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 6/14/2013 - Published: 12/12/2010 - [Emmett, OC] - Complete
Lily's Sacrifice by LilyRosePotter101 reviews
Lily Evans and James Potter have left Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is the story of how Lily and James get married and when Harry was born, and when they died. This is my first fanfic...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 15,993 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/11/2013 - Published: 4/14/2012 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Dear Nagi by AmyFawkes reviews
Tsuna is best friends with a girl named Nagi. Writing letters to each other, they hoped to spend time with each other on her 10th birthday, but everything goes wrong and she is caught in a fatal car crash. He continues to write letters to her.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 14,957 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., Chrome D.
Paul love story: Fighting for you by Neejaloveslife reviews
Your boyfriend's friend imprints on you. It is confusing, because suddenly everything starts to change. It's not only affecting you, but other people too. What do you do? Accept your fate or fight against it?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 29 - Words: 74,054 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Paul - Complete
Pack Of Submissives by TurnItUp03 reviews
SLASH, AU, M/M. How the hell did we become the chief's daughters? Or son's for that matter? Seth Clearwater and his adoptive brothers, Brady and Collin Clearwater are a pack of submissives. Their small pack have been convinced by their parents to return to La Push from Seattle for the summer, little did they know, a pack of dominants await their arrival. Now *POSSIBLE M-PREG*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 96,809 - Reviews: 382 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 2/16/2013 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Seth, Brady, Collin, Jacob - Complete
Attracting the alpha by bethanxo reviews
Hermione has had enough of the fame after the war so moves to a small town of forks to live with her uncle charlie,when you befriend a coven of vampires and you attract the attention of an alpha wolf whats normal? set after dh and new moon. no emily
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,634 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 347 - Updated: 1/11/2013 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Hermione G., Sam
Life of a WolfGirl by Evalyd Yamazaki reviews
The way he was staring at me reminded me of a baby opening it's eyes for the first time, mouth open and eyes wide. And then he dropped his hotdogs, splattering chili and relish all over my favorite pair of boots. A JacobxOC imprint story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 92,878 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Jacob
The Big Bang by PrincessMoonDog reviews
What if instead of goody two shoes Nora, we replaced her with her rough-and-tough, binge drinking, motorcyclist counterpart Roxi? Can this bad girl survive when a certain fallen angel takes an interest in her, or will this songbird get her wings clipped? PatchXoc AU COMPLETE
Hush, Hush - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 23 - Words: 25,624 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/22/2012 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Patch/Jev, Vee - Complete
Katekyo Dame-Tsuna! by Yoshikuni Itoe reviews
What if Tsuna and Reborn's roles were switched? Reborn is a Sun Arcobaleno in training, and a tutor is sent to help him. R27, shounen-ai, Teen!Arcobaleno, Cool!Tsuna. Rated T just to be safe :D
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 37,966 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 564 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 12/15/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Reborn, Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S. - Complete
The Puppet Master by Glitch in the System reviews
What's eating Paul? What's with that flame on the water? What was Laurent doing just standing in Edward and Bella's meadow? Why does Edward care about Mike's car? Why doesn't Alice know about her past? Cammy knows.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 86 - Words: 459,087 - Reviews: 4755 - Favs: 1,968 - Follows: 1,635 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 3/24/2008
The Angel's Ploy by ChelseaDagger14 reviews
"His eyes dropped to meet mine and the expression turned to shock in less than a second. "Nice to meet you." I said politely. And then he fell. No, literally. To the ground. He fell to his knees." Jacob/OC Post-BD
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 68,577 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Jacob
I'd Come For You by If-I-Were-A-Wolf reviews
"Yes I'd come for you, no one but you, yes I'd come for you, but only if you told me to. And I'd fight for you, I'd lie, it's true. Give my life for you, you know I'd always come for you." They took my love, and I will get him back... Sequal to W.O.T.A.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 42,605 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 11/23/2012 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Embry, Sam
A Simple Kiss by Malfoy vs Potter reviews
Draco's dared, what is he dared? Who knew a simple dare to kiss your arch rival could lead to something so much more. HP 6 & 7 never happened! WARNING: Boy/Boy pairing, angst, language, abuse, rape, mental abuse, suicide attempts! Read and Review Please!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,798 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 10/26/2012 - Published: 1/15/2005 - Draco M., Harry P.
Fix Me by NobleAndAncientLineBlack reviews
Ever since her best friend started dating Embry Call, Erin always seems to find herself in awkward situations with Jacob Black. He keeps staring at her as if she's the most amazing girl around. That should creep her out, right? So why does she like it? OC/JACOB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 95 - Words: 252,487 - Reviews: 1606 - Favs: 727 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 10/15/2012 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Holding Sam by MeraNaamJoker reviews
Sam saves Bella after she gets lost in the woods. She returns the favor in more ways than one. A romance set in AU New Moon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 120,079 - Reviews: 1636 - Favs: 1,805 - Follows: 820 - Updated: 10/9/2012 - Published: 7/17/2011 - Bella, Sam - Complete
Melting Ice by LoveMeLikeHer reviews
Sinder, is half vamp - half human like Nessie, when her father is murdered by wolves, she is forced to live with the Cullens, she isn't a big fan of wolves, but what will happen if one imprints on her? Not as bad as it sounds, please give it a shot! :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 54,269 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Embry - Complete
Five Weeks by hopelessromantic5 reviews
Convinced his life is over, Paul decides to end his life when he loses Leah. Quil asks him for five weeks to prove to him that life is worth living. It will take all of Quil's energy, friendship and love to convince the man he loves to stay with him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 118,684 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 9/1/2012 - Published: 3/3/2012 - Quil Jr., Paul - Complete
How to Annoy KHR Characters by Tsuyoshi95 reviews
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 7,943 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Complete
Infect My Heart by dayuuuumgirl reviews
Clary: artistic, successful, in control. All her hard work has brought her to becoming the VP and sales lady of the prestigious Shadowhunter Academy. When she is forced to work with Jace, her life just might spin out of control.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 50,710 - Reviews: 612 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
A Wolf's Love by Phantomstallionfanatic reviews
i really suck at writing a summary but... its a paul/seth slash. dom/sub. sub pregnancies weird i know but oh well read it if you like paul/seth with sam/embry input as well maybe others too not sure yet R&R! : M on the safe side
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,545 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 8/4/2012 - Published: 9/14/2010 - Paul, Seth
Mafia Preschool by MyHobbyIsToRunFromReality reviews
Tsuna, Hayato, Takeshi, Kyoya, Mukuro, Chrome, Ryohei, Dino, Enma, Shimon Guardians and all other young Mafioso. Welcome to the hell on Earth that is Mafia Preschool. Please don't drip your blood on the floor. No, Primo, you cannot pull your son out.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,559 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 556 - Updated: 7/31/2012 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Tsuna/Tsunayoshi S., H. Gokudera
Snake Among the Badgers by Exceeds Expectations reviews
You walk around in a body that doesn't quite fit and you speak in gruff, cryptic words to hide the truth. One boy sees through you. He is seventeen. He is a Hufflepuff. And he is a champion.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,039 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Published: 7/29/2012 - Barty C. Jr., Cedric D. - Complete
Bet you weren't expecting that by QueenOfTheSmurfs reviews
Patch and Nora split up in Crescendo. But what if, before they broke up, they had had sex? Nora has been put in more danger than ever before, but Patch is not there to save her this time…
Hush, Hush - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,801 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Patch/Jev, Nora G.
The Nanny by Orchid Child reviews
It was a mistake all Bella wanted was directions to NYU but Edward mistakes her for the new nanny. Quiting doesn't matter anymore since his kids have taken a liking to her and her to them. And it helps when your employer is a living Adonis. AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 68,013 - Reviews: 1660 - Favs: 1,401 - Follows: 1,720 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Between The Bars by LoveFool420 reviews
Jacob bullied Paul his entire life up until the day he imprinted. What will happen when there's another alpha from a rival pack fighting for Paul's heart? Slash, lemons, sexual abuse, and mostly love, please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,875 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 7/7/2012 - Published: 10/9/2011 - Jacob, Paul
The Gathering by ninetailsgirl94 reviews
What happens when Luce, Lal, Mammon, and Lussuria plot a night in Kokuyo Land for a Friday night with Ten deadly rules. Enjoy Pairings will be mentioned in the story. Bad summary we blame lack of sleep. Story with my sis! Please be nice and NO FLAMING! If you don't like it. Don't read. Arcobaleno are adults. 1 Vongola family will be in it!
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,547 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 6/4/2012
Sugar & Spice by GoinnGaGa reviews
Imprints always come in pairs; that's the rule. So when Embry Call, a new and in-the-closet gay wolf, imprints on Paul Lahote, the straight Beta of the pack, he can only hope that the rule applies to him as well. Even if it means mixing sugar with spice.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,679 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Embry, Paul
Pish Posh by Itzelle reviews
Poor McKenna is thrown back into public school after five years of home-schooling. What happens when the bully of her past becomes her new imprint? Can Paul win back McKenna's trust? Paul/OC. A unique imprint story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,724 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Paul, Embry
Long Live by lollypopgirl222 reviews
Paul imprints on Jake. Jake loves Bella. How will Paul win Jake's love? PAUL/JACOB. RATED M FOR A REASON! Based on Taylor Swift songs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 27,308 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 5/25/2012 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Blood Moon by SheeWolf85 reviews
Ness and her family are human. She is visiting her aunt & uncle while her parents go on vacation. Jacob is Alpha with a dangerous past that won't stay where it belongs. J/N, AU, M for language, sexual content, and some violence. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 107,173 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 5/20/2012 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Someone: Part One by heartbeat7 reviews
Emma Young is not living the life she's always dreamed of. When her sister, Emily, announces her engagement to Sam Uley of La Push, Emma moves in with her sister. She never expected to meet Jacob Black and the one girl who could ruin it all.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 83,055 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 5/9/2012 - Published: 10/25/2011 - [Jacob, OC] - Complete
Try by imaginesex reviews
"My You are so not a Puppy anymore" Jacob said looking up and leaned down towards my member still not looking from my eyes .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,828 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 5/7/2012 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Seth, Jacob
Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf? by tqt13rocks reviews
Mickey is used to being hurt. He was driven from his home by people who hated him because he's different. Now, this guy keeps saying they're soul mates. If that's true, why does he seem to hate Mickey more than anyone else? Slash. Language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 75,157 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Double Imprint by Death101 reviews
Jake imprints right before Bella's wedding. Her name is Ashley Hewes and she is Quileute, what happens when she is showing signs of phasing? Breaking Dawn events.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 4/19/2012 - Published: 4/18/2012 - Jacob
Collide by Becca97 reviews
Apparently, tackling someone you barely know to the ground is considered romantic nowadays! Paul/OC Takes place during New Moon! Please R & R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 49,382 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 4/18/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Paul
The Dark Wolf by SoundShield11 reviews
Paul Origin story. Eventual M/M Slash. Join Paul as he discovers his wolf heritage, finds an imprint, and tries to battle his inner turmoil. Rated M for lemons later, language, and adult themes/situations. Paul X Seth. A bit AU/AH. Some OOC, non-canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 59,292 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 4/14/2012 - Published: 2/17/2012 - Paul, Seth - Complete
Warning: Hot! Handle with Care by ImNotAfraidOfTheBigBadWolf reviews
Paul wants Bella. Even with her secret past and secrets. But will she let him have her? But what happens when Paul find out the truth? And the pack finds out about them? Chaos ensues. Rated M for Language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,744 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Bella, Paul
The Boy In The Mirror by Dustland-Fairytales reviews
Alec never believed in ghost stories. How wrong he was.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 14 - Words: 47,733 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 10/5/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Outcasts by Hank's Lady reviews
Two members of the wolfpack, shunned by their communities, return to La Push. It would seem obvious for them to turn to each other when thrown together, but the opposite happens.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 72,058 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 4/12/2012 - Published: 3/8/2012 - Paul, Embry - Complete
I imprinted on my brother's boyfriend by Ashtin Nightwalker reviews
Paul screws around and the pack hates it. A surprise imprinting doesn't help. Rated M for strong language. AU/OOC jacob's POV. Sorry I suck at summaries. DISCONTINUED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,692 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 4/12/2012 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Jacob, Edward - Complete
It Will Rain by TurnItUp03 reviews
M/M. Seth believed an imprint promised happiness, but his was brought to a halt when he was deceived by the one who claimed imprinted on him, can he live on knowing that he may never fall in love again. What obstacles will he face to keep his family safe? Mentions of M-PREG. 'Save The Hero' the sequel is up.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,721 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 1/18/2012 - [Seth, Paul] [Embry, OC] - Complete
I Gotta Make Her Mine by vampsluv2bite32 reviews
Of all the pack,who'd have thought I would imprint? Especially on someone I never knew existed? On someone I've never thought twice about? But there's one thing I do know. I gotta make her mine. Paul/OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 38 - Words: 35,588 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 3/31/2012 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Paul - Complete
Hell And High Water by LowlifeTheory reviews
All human AU. Stiles' dad is a Senator. Derek's the bodyguard hired to protect him.
Teen Wolf - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 37,548 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Derek H., Stiles - Complete
Meant to Be by Fr333bird reviews
"The first time I see Riley, my eyes lock onto him and I can't look away." Seth and Riley's lives are shattered by events beyond their control. Can they overcome the challenges they face and still be together? Slash, AU, contains wolves and vamps.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 95,145 - Reviews: 1031 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Seth, Riley - Complete
Wish upon a full moon by MeandPizzatheOTP reviews
Maia hads been an outcast ever since Paul destroyed her. She's dying inside, and no one, especially Paul, cares. But, when Paul IMPRINTS on her, he realises that in hurting her, he's hurt himself even more. Can he win her over before she's too far gone?- Kept up because of the amount of reviews it has received, but It is from when I was 11 and into the disgusting world of twilight
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,470 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Paul
Hello New Boy by mothamaeghan reviews
Magnus falls for the new kid the first moment he sees him. Will the new kid feel the same? First FanFic, I will try my best at side pairings. M/A, J/C, I/S. R&R. BoyxBoy, don't like don't read.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 90,726 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 3/3/2012 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Everthing's Changed by deanandcas reviews
Taco Bell? Ladies undergarments? How far someone will go for love? follow the mortal instruments gang give or take a few on a wild adventure were things are different and very funny! features unusual pairings R&R please.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,194 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012
Chasing A Rock Star by ThunderBoltsAndLightning reviews
Jace and Clary, famous for hating each other as well as being huge in the music industry reunite and are forced to play nice when they sign on as lovers in an upcoming film, Chasing A Rock Star. 1st Place Winner for AH Story and 2nd Place winner over all.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,268 - Reviews: 741 - Favs: 646 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Revelations by Hank's Lady reviews
Written from Jacob's point of view, beginning with a startling revelation from Quil which eventually leads to confusion and heartache as the pack begins to form.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,412 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 1/28/2012 - Jacob, Embry - Complete
Always by amdragjakelong'sgurl reviews
There was only one thing more important to the Wolves than hunting vampires. And that was protecting the women they loved. Sam/Emily Jared/oc Jacob/oc Paul/oc Seth/oc Quil/oc Embry/oc Leah/oc Most OC's are MARY SUES. REVIEW ANYWAYS. Twilight through BD
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,170 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 1/29/2012
Embry's Secret Imprint by SoundShield11 reviews
Embry imprints on Jake, but keeps it hidden. Written mostly from Embry's POV, the story covers how Embry deals with the secrets of his life. M/M Slash,but no lemons. Rated T for alcohol, mild violence, and some language. Disclaimer:I own nothing.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,035 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 1/28/2012 - Embry, Jacob - Complete
Shattered Moonbeams by Stormy Feather reviews
Caius's daughter is abused and raped repeatedly by Aro even though he thinks it's an act of love. Will she fall in love with her abuser or be completely afraid and run away? Story is better than it sounds. Special shoutout inside! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,827 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/11/2012 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Aro, Caius
Framework Sanity by Cennis reviews
"Killing things, that I can do. You get in there – stab, shoot, burn, get out. Simple. But, dating... that I don't understand." Magnus/Alec, AU. For Bel.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,209 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 12/13/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Where the Heart Belongs by Brincelven reviews
A messy year full of drama, romance, action, and horror RW/SHM RW/OC SHM/LLP LLP/OC HW/OC ASP/OC. 100: The End, Part 4
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 467,740 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 2/4/2012 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Albus S. P., Scorpius M., Rose W., Lily Luna P. - Complete
Away From the Sun by CallmeRuth reviews
"Behind every untrusting girl is a boy who taught her to be that way." But its time for a little change, I'm done. This is me, and you cant change me. But when I decided this I never thought I'd be imprinted on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,809 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/3/2012 - Paul
Back to La Push by BlueEyedCountryGirl reviews
The happiest day of Kaitlynn's life was when she was 7 & her dad moved them away. She was bullied by Paul & Jacob for being overweight. Now 10 years later her dad is moving them back how will she react when she sees them & Paul imprints on her.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 88,586 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 2/2/2012 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Paul - Complete
Who Do You Think You Are? by Hanski reviews
Kim has three brothers. Her best friends are Jacob,Quil and Embry. Her life changes when Jared notices her. Will she accept him? Will her life remain the same when she is friends with the Cullens? It's not only the supernatural beings that enter her life.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 48,568 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 1/29/2012 - Published: 6/28/2010 - Jared, Kim
The Meeting of The Institutes by Nephilim Jedi reviews
Tessa, Will, and Jem travel to NY to meet with the NY institute. Turns out Tessa has a friend there. Cue jealous Will. Plot thickens, but I don't want to have any spoilers. :D OC
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,584 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 1/25/2012 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Tessa G., Will H.
Read it and Realise by nosilverbullets reviews
Steph is a young writer who moves to La push. what happens when she finds that her characters are real? Or falls in love? Will she interfere with the plot? or will she let nature take it's course? Read and review. xx paul/OC.CANON also a little Embry/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 46,033 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Embry, Paul - Complete
Mirrors by Cassy-Kay reviews
Ariana moves back to La Push and meets Embry, the imprint doesn't always take to their wolf right away...will Embry be able to win her over? And what happens when Ari starts acting strange? Embry & OC imprint story. Rated M for lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 88,606 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 7/6/2011 - Embry - Complete
Blood Feud by glassangelrose reviews
LAST CHAPTER UP! When Kieran Hemlock is arranged to marry Ambra Ellwood the two bloodfeuding families toast to a new era of peace and friendship. But when Kieran falls for a human and threatens to break his promise the whole NW could suffer the concequ
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 27 - Words: 44,706 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Ash R., J. Quinn - Complete
S A L V A T O R E by RunWithJacobBlack reviews
AU When Jade & her family move from Australia to Forks, Jade hates everything about the place, until, she meets Jacob Black. And now, her life is endanger & needs Jacob's protection. But will Jacob always be there to protect her? And who is Jade to Jacob?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 62,460 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 10/23/2010 - Jacob - Complete
Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place by SadieGirl18 reviews
Sequel to my previous Hannah/Paul story, Regrets and Forgiveness. Not on Hiatus anymore. Re-edited chapters. Hate, love, family, confusion, miscommunications, a deaf werewolf, an oblivious half-vampire, and a whole lot of chaos. Three love stories in one.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,048 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 1/6/2012 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Paul
A Weird Kind Of Love by TurnItUp03 reviews
M/M, SLASH, M-PREG. Seth Clearwater returns to his home of La Push to stay with his grandmother. His plans to stay are changed once he meets Jacob Black & Paul Lahote. Please no flamers.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 83,441 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Seth, Jacob, Paul - Complete
It Was Meant To Be by TnmElovr reviews
Embry imprints on Bella. Wooh that's great! The only problem? She's five. Follow both of them through twelve years of anger, tears, betrayal, love, and heartache.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,070 - Reviews: 695 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 504 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 2/5/2010 - Embry, Bella
UnWanted by Aly Darcy reviews
Rashel Jordon isn't normal; She's a vampire hunter, part of circle daybreak, and has a vampire as a soulmate. She's used to things going wrong and plans getting ruined until one mission goes way off track. Now she has to make the hardest decision of her life, which includes leaving her soulmate and going after his creator and her worst nightmare, Hunter Redfern. *UNDER EDITING*
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,099 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 5/21/2010 - Rashel J., J. Quinn - Complete
Obvious Choice by McKennaBlack reviews
Claire has a wolf as a best friend and a boyfriend she adores. When she finds out the truth behind her relationship with one of them she has to make a decision that may push the other away.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 80,064 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 12/27/2011 - Published: 9/23/2010 - Claire, Quil Jr.
forbidden love by janeyxpanie reviews
takes place after clockwork prince. *contains spoilers* it's a tessa and will fanfic. c: R&R please
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,073 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 12/14/2011 - Tessa G., Will H.
The Golden boy next door by vampchick09 reviews
"I almost had a heart attack he took his towel that wrapped around his waist..." The Insitute is unavailable, the Clave moves the Lightwoods, next to a redheaded girl. Plz give it a chance! The story is Better than the summary for Real!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,075 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 10/11/2011 - Clary F., Jace W.
Shifting Directions by Hank's Lady reviews
Sam's story from age 17, starting right before he phases, following his discovery of what he really is and where his heart lies.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 84,389 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 11/23/2011 - Sam, Jacob - Complete
Damn This Wild Heart by Insane Cali Gurl reviews
Olivia came to La Push, but will she ever tell anyone why? Maybe a little think called imprinting and a pissy wolf can help. Only time will tell.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 36,501 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 12/18/2011 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Paul - Complete
Endless night by Lucyferina reviews
The wolf growled impatiently and Paul let go once again the little slip of power he was holding over his animal. He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. Bella sighed, but didn't move away. Post-Eclipse, strongBella/ sexyPaul.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 30,599 - Reviews: 771 - Favs: 1,042 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Bella, Paul - Complete
Heart Attack by lollypopgirl222 reviews
It's just another heart attack; I'm never gonna take you back; I'm never gonna break; I'll show you; I won't call you." Paul is in love with Hannah, but Jacob imprints on Hannah. What will happen when Jacob fights for her love? JacobxPaulxOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 26,643 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/25/2011 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
A Wolf's Embrace by MrsWolfPack reviews
What if life was out of your hands? What if Fate hated you? Could you live through the obstacles? A certain wolf wants to help. Will he be able to? Or will multiple forces knock him back? Wolf Imprint story. Not everything is easy Paul x OC R&R No regrets
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 44 - Words: 495,779 - Reviews: 558 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 11/9/2011 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Paul - Complete
Here Be Dragons by shosier reviews
As a little boy, Charlie Weasley cultivated a passion for dragons. But that little boy had no way of knowing where that passion would take him in life. These are Charlie's adventures – the ones only hinted at in canon. Warning: contains slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 121,630 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Charlie W., OC - Complete
Enemies with Benefits by teenagekicks95 reviews
Ariella and Paul have never got on well together. Ariella is a hot headed girl who can't seem to keep away from hot headed Paul what happens when the enemies become more? disclaimer: dont own anything
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 30,394 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 7/25/2011 - Paul - Complete
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11617 - Favs: 9,524 - Follows: 6,660 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Songs of the Moon: MoonDance by Song of the Moon reviews
AU story. Jacob destroyed himself after he lost Bella to Edward, but maybe it's finally time for him to realize his own potential and the incredible man he is destined to become. Jacob and OC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 101,740 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Help! by Raksha Souza reviews
What happens when Will pushes Tessa towards Gabriel by accident. G and T go out but something between the two of them makes her start to starve herself can W help her. Is he still in love with her? Will and Tessa will end up together G is an instegator.
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,380 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 8/29/2011 - Tessa G., Will H. - Complete
Under the Full Moon by Italianmommy8907 reviews
Alessandra was a sailor.She settles down in Forks,WA. She's an orphan and wants to find out where she comes from, because she's a werewolf.Her only clue is a necklace.Then she meets Jacob Black chaos erupts.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,146 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/27/2011 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Embry Call of the Wild by Roses in May reviews
Embry is feeling torn between his loyalty to the pack, and his desire to move on with his life. Much wolf drama with some humor and a little bit of romance thrown in for fun. Embry/OC centric with some Quil/Claire, Seth, and Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 59,046 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 9/7/2011 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Embry - Complete
Tale I'm About To Tell by BlackDiamonds.32.20.54 reviews
Paul has grown up in a different world away from Wolves, but not to far from Vampires.What happens when he suddenly meets Jacob, an imprint? Paul is shoved into a world that is more complicated then before, especially when the past comes back to bite you.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,986 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 10/14/2010 - Paul, Jacob
Sweet,Sexy,Hot and Spicy! by Maricela-XDLovingYa reviews
Claire Young is a very Sexy 15 year old that is getting hotter everyday. Quil is one of her best friends. Can Quil resist Claires alluring self? Can Claire keep Quil in the friend zone? Claire/Quil fic. ooc for claire.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,787 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/5/2011 - Published: 2/26/2011 - Claire, Quil Jr.
Mythical Beings and Mystical Feelings by wonshik zitao reviews
A girl with special abilities, who lives her life as a nomad, goes to a new place where she meets the one thing that changes her life forever... her imprint. Jacob BlackxOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,832 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Hold Heart by mistressofdarkness666 reviews
A newborn army is being created again, this time there target is La Push. When a mysterious woman appears to assist the wolves; the Elders are apprehensive. Who is she? Why do the Elders dislike her? And why the heck is Leah looking at her like that?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 35,302 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Leah - Complete
POSSESSIVE by kieraa reviews
What Paul wants, Paul gets. So when he imprints on new girl, Nicki Summers, he commits himself to making her his. So why is she resisting the imprint, and what exactly is so special about her anyways? STARTS AFTER NEWMOON
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 66,378 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 4/1/2011 - Paul - Complete
An Angels Embrace by JessieMundaiFan reviews
Devastated after Bella rejects him, Jacob Black was absolutely miserable. He wished he could have a guardian angel guide to him through life. Be careful what you wish for Jacob, you might just get it. Jacob/OC SLASH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,681 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Jacob, Embry
Love Me Chronicles: The Down To Earth by Mrs.TeenWereWolf reviews
It sucks. Being in love with a guy who doesn't know you exist. My friends tell me its Kim and Jared all over, again. I disagree. I like to make my own story about how I first talk to Embry to being his girlfriend. Let see where that takes us.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 29,132 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 7/27/2011 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Embry
The Alpha's Imprint by dorme99 reviews
From the first moment Bella and Jacob came in contact with each other there was never a choice. They were destined to be together forever. But is Bella really strong enough to fight in a battle between Vampire and Werewolf?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 47 - Words: 150,933 - Reviews: 1076 - Favs: 862 - Follows: 543 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
My Target Mind by JessieMundaiFan reviews
In Ephram Black's time, the La Push Tribe gained allies that would help them in their time of need. The tribe's new allies did well and were rewarded for all their help. However, the fight was far from over. This is a Paul/OC SLASH story
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 37,786 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/21/2011 - Published: 1/4/2011 - Paul, Embry
Satellite Heart: The Big Bad Wolf: Book One by Mon-cheri reviews
"I bet you're the second type of person. You're a time bomb. When you hear something you don't like, you lash out and start over reacting. Collin, you're just one giant, possessive, fluff ball of fury." EmbryOC CollinOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 78,760 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/20/2011 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Collin, Embry - Complete
How the Mighty Fall by Ninadoll reviews
Wolf Territory - He was notorious amongst those who did not know the real him. He was known as the poor boy who made it good, a sinner in the eyes of many, a bastard both by birth and character and mostly an animal in the bedroom. I invite you to get to know the real man.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 172,336 - Reviews: 1532 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 7/20/2011 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Embry - Complete
Destiny by Pches reviews
Izzy's had a hard life but u couldnt tell from her carefree, outgoing spirit. Story begins in late summer -between Twilight & New Moon- Jake's still a good kid. Bella and Edward are happy in love. Izzy moves to Forks. Lives are about to change forever.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 131,732 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Jacob - Complete
In For The Kill by nosilverbullets reviews
Jess is seventeen and pregnant. Paul wants nothing to do with it so he chases her away... then he imprints, but is it too late to redeem himself? Paul/OC, CANON, currently a Four-shot, Rated T for language and slightly- adult themes.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,480 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 7/1/2011 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Paul - Complete
Battlefield by Julie's Jewels reviews
It's rough being the 'bastard child' of La Push; ridiculed by some for having blood that comes from outside the tribe, Jack has to survive an abnormal life where he faces harsh tribal sentiment at nearly every turn. What could make things more complicated? Well Jacob Black of course, Jacob and his merry pack of miscreants...and something called a half-print? Jacob/OC (OMC) Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 97,252 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 6/27/2011 - Published: 2/14/2010 - [Jacob, OC] Quil Jr.
Wanna Bet? by Mellyb6 by Just a Kiss Contest reviews
ENTRY FOR THE JUST A KISS CONTEST: He's using her to win a bet. She's using him to make the ex jealous. In the end, they're both going to win much more than expected.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,109 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Paul, Angela - Complete
Wanna Bet? by mellyb6 reviews
JUST A KISS ENTRY: He's using her to win a bet. She's using him to make the ex jealous. In the end, they're both going to win much more than expected. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,109 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Paul, Angela - Complete
You're an Idiot, Sirius Black by Squid7000 reviews
My 7th year to-do list: 1. Find a cure for cancer. 2. Avoid EX-best friend, Sirius Black, at ALL costs. 3. Survive. *cricket, cricket* Yeah, I should be so lucky. SB/OC **ABANDONED. To anyone who's stuck around or left a kind word - thank you so much. I'm so sorry.**
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 89,278 - Reviews: 536 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 369 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Sirius B., OC
Serpentine by MarauderNextGen reviews
Au/ooc 18 year old Harry is in search of adventure He heads off to find dragons with Charlie But when the Parselmouth and man people said prefers dragons work close sparks ignite warn slash some definite Weasley bashing
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 97,326 - Reviews: 760 - Favs: 1,705 - Follows: 947 - Updated: 6/12/2011 - Published: 7/27/2010 - Harry P., Charlie W. - Complete
Imprint Book 2: Secret Crush by justareaderfan reviews
Emma has been crushing on Jacob ever since she moved to La Push. She has dodged him for most of the time until he imprints on her. Will she be okay with it or will she keep running away from him? Jacob/OC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,891 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 6/5/2011 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Jacob - Complete
Unknown, Please Read by DaY aNd NiGhT-Jess and GG reviews
Ok I couldn't come up with a title. Amy is Jacob bestfriend since diapers could there be something more? Everyone in LaPush thinks so. This would happen if Jake moved on in New Moon when Bella went to Italy. ***Sequal posted on page also!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 42,667 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 6/13/2010 - Jacob - Complete
Lessons and Lies by Storm that Twists in Spiral reviews
Next-Generation one-shots A-Z. Some fluffy, some angsty, all different. Includes but not limited to Teddy/Dominique, Rose/Scorpius, Lily/Lysander, and Roxanne/Lorcan. Rated T for just a few chapters. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 31,105 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Teddy L., Dominique W. - Complete
The Life I Belong To by Jae Bee reviews
Paul and my o/c character's imprint story. Brought to you by the author of I'm His Lobster, and I'm Running Away, So You Can Make Me Whole. I promise it's better than it's summary. I don't own SM characters. Please read, review, and enjoy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 64,589 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 5/23/2011 - Published: 10/1/2010 - Paul - Complete
Second Chances by aquamysticwriter reviews
A new Institute is built in Forks and Clary, Jace, Isabelle and Alec are transferred there. They meet up with the Cullens and the La Push werewolves and things get a little complicated. WARNING post COG and BD spoilers! Anonymous reviews accepted.
Crossover - Twilight & Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,594 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 5/8/2011 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Complete
Blue Hour Renesmee and Jacob's Story by holkeer reviews
The unlikely relationship concerning a Cullen and a werewolf starts all over again. And when Renesmee is endangered, the Cullens and Jacob are forced into action. However, this predator might be all too familiar for Jacob...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 121,209 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
Love You Forever : A Paul Imprint Story by Just-Soldier-On reviews
Elizabeth Black is Jacob's cousin, what happens when Paul imprints on her? Elizabeth has an uncaring mother, what has happened to her to make her so 'rebellious' to her mom how will she react to the 'wolf' world? WARNING: There is lots of swearing n humor
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 56 - Words: 97,279 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Paul - Complete
This Mortal Life by hidingfromsomeone reviews
For Jake, the only thing that could make life any worse would be imprinting. The only thing that could make that any worse would be imprinting on another guy. One- shot for Slash Backslash contest NOW EXTENDED! NC-17 for yummy wolfy lemony slash scenes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 36 - Words: 190,278 - Reviews: 931 - Favs: 549 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 3/27/2011 - Published: 10/30/2009 - Jacob - Complete
Cause I'm Awesome by Jenasys Loveless Lovecraft reviews
Paul doesn't want to give up his Playboy ways just because he's a wolf now. Ryvre detests the idea of losing your choice on one of the most important things in life. How will this stubborn pair react when Paul imprints, and neither of them want it?PaulxOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,101 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 3/13/2011 - Published: 11/12/2009 - [Paul, OC] Collin
What You Don't Know by Airplane reviews
It's become very clear to Eugene that Rapunzel has little to no understanding of amorous affection.
Tangled - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 88,185 - Reviews: 2293 - Favs: 3,419 - Follows: 1,093 - Updated: 2/9/2011 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Rapunzel, Flynn R. - Complete
The Forbidden by jesi lily reviews
Scorpius Malfoy was not a spoilt brat, it was a simple matter that he got what he wanted when he wanted it. The Problem is...They tend to want the things they just can't have.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,764 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1/15/2011 - Published: 11/21/2010 - Lily Luna P., Scorpius M. - Complete
Not Myself Tonight by GoinnGaGa reviews
When a night of fun with the pack turns into so much more for Jacob and Paul, what secrets will be told? What questions will rise? And what will the consequences for their actions be?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,400 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Paul, Jacob - Complete
Regrets and Forgiveness by SadieGirl18 reviews
Hannah has been an outcast ever since Paul and his buddies humiliated her,and have tormented her ever since. But what everyone doesn't know is the pain their adding to her already hard life. Find out what happens when Paul imprints on her. Please Read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 77,422 - Reviews: 1390 - Favs: 859 - Follows: 428 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Paul - Complete
Angel of Revenge by Pen-Always-In-Hand reviews
Formerly titled New Age. It's been 10 yrs. since COG & 5 since BD. Clary meets the Cullens when they find her son, and then again 8 yrs. later. But trouble is stirring. Will this be the third Uprising? T just in case. C&J A&M S&M Twilight pairings R/N&OC
Crossover - Twilight & Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,408 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 11/21/2010 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Complete
Humans by theplaceswego reviews
Vivyan Landing has always wanted the Quileute "stars" to take an interest in her. Not for romance, but to save her and her brother from the man they used to call father. Her wish is granted first day of grade 11, but why? Rated M in later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 60,765 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 11/18/2010 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Paul - Complete
Wedding Bells by musegirl reviews
When Jade and Mark's wedding brings Mary-Lynnette and Ash together for the first time in two years, sparks fly. But will they be for better or for worse? Rated M for language and lemons.
Night World series - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 31,810 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/10/2010 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Ash R., Mary-Lynette C. - Complete
Think Twice by GASPLudwig reviews
The 'freak' girl of La Push, who is best friends with Kim, and bullied by Paul, feels betrayed when Kim leaves her and becomes part of their little gang. But whats even worse, is that she was just imprinted on by her worst night mare.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 32 - Words: 33,002 - Reviews: 661 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 11/4/2010 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Paul - Complete
Stalker of My Heart by Psycholips reviews
Edward Cullen, next in line to be mafia boss wants shy Bella Swan. And he always gets what he wants. Even if she thinks he's a creepy stalker. Very dark Edward but sweet at the end.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,147 - Reviews: 801 - Favs: 818 - Follows: 778 - Updated: 10/4/2010 - Published: 3/9/2010 - Edward, Bella
Dumbstruck by Perfekt Rain reviews
"I'm pregnant." "That's great! Who's the lucky guy?" "You." No reply.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,226 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 6/5/2010 - Leah, Jacob
Barking At The Moon by BlackDiamonds.32.20.54 reviews
Jared's imprint leaves him a mess, but just maybe there is someone who can heal him after all. Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,071 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Jacob, Jared - Complete
Boys vs Girls by Night Worlder 13 reviews
The soulmates have been sent to a bootcamp by Thierry. But its a boys vs. girls bootcamp. How will the two weeks go? and who will win? Copyright Night Worlder 13
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,268 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 7/19/2010 - Complete
Possessive by twilightHDfan reviews
Possessive can be defined as "having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others". Paul isn't the only one in La Push who's possessive. SLASH. Jake/Paul. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,448 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 414 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 8/21/2010 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Quil Imprinted On Bella! by Hannah Writes R reviews
Edwards left for a different reason. Bella finds comfort in a new friend, and things turn out WAY different. BellaxQuil! Lemons. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 36,688 - Reviews: 699 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Quil Jr., Bella - Complete
Fighting Paul by sarah.yoko reviews
Kate just moved to La Push. She befriends all the locals, and the whole town loves her. When Paul comes along and imprints on her, she wants nothing to do with him. She just wants to have an easy life. But Paul won't give up that easily. PaulxOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,884 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 7/30/2010 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Paul - Complete
Little Wolf by bluenewmoon reviews
Jacob finally turns, and then imprints on none other then Sam Uley! Not only is he a wolf but he's a submissive, can he deal with, wolves, vampires, and suspicious friends all while falling in love with a guy he hates? Sam/Jacob SLASH! AUish
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 31,770 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Jacob, Sam
Anger Managemet? by cassymae reviews
Paul & OC!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 16,605 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/26/2010 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Paul
Teasing the Tease by StupidLeeches reviews
Fics for Nashville donation - Paul/Rachel one-shot. A little dirty fun at a bonfire. Not totally canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,286 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Paul, Rachel - Complete
I'm Done by Insane Cali Gurl reviews
A certain Quileute imprints on Alexandria Thompson...What now?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,418 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 6/23/2010 - Paul - Complete
Hidden Symbols by cyberpen reviews
Talli secretly likes the band New Moon, but not in the obsessive way like some fans. So when her best friend begs her to go meet Paul, one of the singers, what happens when he imprints...and not on her best friend that adores the ground he walks on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 76,170 - Reviews: 543 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 257 - Updated: 5/27/2010 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Paul - Complete
The Adventures of a Beta Wolf by Julie's Jewels reviews
Jessie had always been Sam's best friend, so what happens when Jessie changes soon after Sam? The new tale about the pack and their lives, and how things would have been different if there had been just one more 'werewolf.' Slash of Sam/OC (OMC) & OC/OC. Set before Twilight and through Breaking Dawn
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 184,624 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 5/17/2010 - Published: 10/21/2009 - [Sam, OC] Jacob, Embry - Complete
Simple Kind of Life by Jenasys Loveless Lovecraft reviews
Leah Clearwater never liked Bella Swan. So when she goes to the bonfire on First Beach and imprints on her-Bella, Edward, Leah and Jacob get thrown head first into a world of drama. Lemons in later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 50,918 - Reviews: 667 - Favs: 972 - Follows: 478 - Updated: 5/4/2010 - Published: 10/20/2009 - [Leah, Bella] - Complete
Oh Jules by Lov3good reviews
My feelings for Paul changed the minute he knocked a door into my face. But I guess, that's the price to pay for love. Paul/OC !COMPLETE! SEQUEL UP!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 111,230 - Reviews: 692 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 5/1/2010 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Paul - Complete
The Posession by Lil Leif reviews
Maggie starts having bad dreams and when she figures out the cause of it she can't help but hold a little fear towards what is happening to her.
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,043 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/30/2010 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Delos R., Maggie N. - Complete
The Blessed One by Kusabana reviews
What happens when a reletive of Sam's shows up on the Rez. Just like everyone else in Twilight series she isant what she seems she is The Blessed One Rated Mature for Language and possible mature content in future chapters JacobXOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 56,670 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 4/24/2010 - Published: 7/6/2009 - Jacob - Complete
Heart of the Beast by rebel angel365 reviews
Paul’s temper only seems to get worse as the days go by. Can something, rather, someone, get to his heart? Please RxR!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 42,731 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 4/17/2010 - Published: 12/30/2007
Just Wanna Be Happy by Insane Cali Gurl reviews
COMPLETE...What happens when a half Indian/half paleface girl has an arranged marriage to Paul? - Okay so this is my first Twilight story. My stories don't follow the books or movies storylines, so be gentle please!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,191 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/16/2010 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Seeing Things in Black and White by TheBreakingDawn333 reviews
Jacob imprints on a boy who is convinced that Embry has Brainwashed his best friend into joining Sams "Cult". Based after Breaking Dawn. Jacob/Oc M for Language, Violence, and Lemons. Full summary on chapter 2. Complete
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,701 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Jacob, Embry - Complete
Did you forget? by Lil Leif reviews
Something strange is happening to Morgead
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,997 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Jezebel R., Morgead B. - Complete
Trust Factor by RECH2O reviews
After Lewis exsposes them Cleo Rikki and Bella runaway, Rikki to Mexico, Bella to Italy, and Cleo to Forks Wasington. each girl meets vampires in her own way and they give them mixed thoughts about who they can and cannot trust.
Crossover - Twilight & H2O: Just Add Water - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 27,626 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 11/28/2009 - Complete
WILF by daysi73 reviews
Aiyana and Sinopa have moved to La Push to write a book on sex. Can the guys from La Push help them with that? Rated M for adult content
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,188 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/26/2010 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Jacob, Paul - Complete
Finally My Turn by deadaccount2014 reviews
Leah Clearwater is the most miserable La Push werewolf that ever did live. She's lonely and depressed and frustrated. All she wants is to imprint; to be happy. Be careful what you ask for. F/F slash, Leah/OC -- CH13 UP "Epilogue" -FINISHED-
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,195 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 2/4/2010 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Leah - Complete
Here In Your Arms A Kim and Jared Imprint story by Vampire-vs-Werewolf reviews
A Story where Kim Watts a rich teenage girl, daughter of two of the richest lawyers in LaPush , falls in love with Jared Thailwood a werewolf.;See the romance, horror and drama. A great Imprint Story... Read and Review.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,507 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Jared, Kim - Complete
Jacob Have I Loved by DazzledbyJake reviews
This fan fiction is about Jessica—no, not Jessica Stanley—the Quileute girl mentioned on p. 118 of Twilight. I thought it might be interesting to explore a relationship between her and Jacob—what possibly could have happened.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 62,691 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Jacob, Quil Jr. - Complete
Sucks To Be ME by platowasabore reviews
Around the time that I found myself standing over the silently writhing Jared, the most popular guy in school, on the ground after i just kicked him in the groin one thought made itself most prominent in my mind 'Why me' Kim/Jared
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 40,972 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Kim, Jared
Just The Girl by iluvwerewolves01 reviews
Embry has an imprint...who hates him with a passion. Will she realize what she's missing and fall for her imprinter? Please R&R! Based on the song: Just The Girl by The Click 5 :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,469 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Embry, Jacob - Complete
Be My Wonderwall by Dreams Are Bursting Bubbles reviews
Becca returns home to La Push. When she meets Embry, her best friend as they were kids, he imprints on her. Can Becca leave her fears behind and start again? Full summary inside. Please read and review. Constructive criticism is much appreciated.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,044 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 10/21/2009 - Embry, Rebecca - Complete
Will There Ever be a Happy Ending? by fantasyessa reviews
Alyssa's life isn't perfect. It hasn't been for a long time. But when she meet's Brady, everything changes. Will he be the one to make her eternally happy, or will he crush every hope she's managed to create? Finished!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,450 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 5/5/2009 - [Brady, OC] - Complete
An Unlikely Pair by lynarose55 reviews
Forever has always been an optimistic term for Camryn. But when it changes context, specifically when connected to a werewolf, forever doesn't appear to be as appealing. Her problem now is to figure out if it is for the better or worse. Paul x OC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 44,012 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Paul - Complete
Unexpected by bexxyy reviews
Bella is Sam's sister and is coming home to La Push. Lets just say Paul never thought he would imprint until she turned up! Jinxed imprint Challenge
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,326 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 134 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella, Paul - Complete
The Lust Charm by MinervaEvenstar reviews
Love Potions are illegal for creating artificial feelings, but Lust Charms make real attractions stronger. Sirius wants to know if Remus fancies him and since Remus controls urges well Sirius casts a Lust Charm on him to find out. Includes RL and SB PoV
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,089 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/5/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - [Remus L., Sirius B.] James P. - Complete
Art Of Imprinting by The Orgasmic Uke reviews
Jade was just so used to change... But when it came to his life and the love a wolf... Change was something completely out of this world for him. Full Summery inside. JacobXMaleOC. SEQUEL IS UP: Art of Devotion
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37,301 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 27 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Jacob - Complete
H20 Just Add Werewolves by aBeautifulLiar reviews
I am no longer free, I am a prisoner in my own head. I can't be the person I want to be because there is nobody to share my secret with here; But I am not the only one with secrets in Forks, I am not the only one with something to hide.Twilight&H20
Crossover - Twilight & H2O: Just Add Water - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 20,218 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 6/17/2009 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Jacob, Rikki C. - Complete
The Average Werewolf by Auphora66 reviews
Collin is content with his life as a werewolf, but he's soon going to have to deal with more than he ever imagined! Imprint story. CollinxOC. NOT YOUR AVERAGE STORY- READ PAST CH1 TO FIND OUT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 58,407 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Collin, OC
You're the one I love to hate by deadlybeautiful reviews
Paul's imprint story. Paul/OC -started before BD-
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 53,440 - Reviews: 627 - Favs: 555 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Paul - Complete
Life with the wolf by Got-a-quill reviews
“Yes, your scent, is something different, I want it, and I will have it” He sneered.“I’m a mud blood; do you really want me within your ranks?” Hermione said, hoping he would reject her. “Blood does not matter, in wolf packs, only the bite”
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,243 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 496 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Fenrir G., Hermione G. - Complete
Hey There Delilah by Totally3rdGrade reviews
Our hands touched on accident and a hot electric shock ran through me, an electric shock that I liked. The air in here suddenly felt humid and I felt my face blush- This is a story about how love can heal all wounds, no matter how deep those wounds are.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 58,487 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 11/4/2008 - Published: 10/15/2007 - Jacob - Complete
Yin Yang by Eximaus Xiana reviews
Fooling with a Jacob/Embry pairing. I am the destroyer of innocence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,856 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Jacob, Embry
Supernova by Sourcherry01 reviews
All it takes is that first glance… but, when has love ever been that easy? The fight is half the fun. Jacob/oc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 68,444 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 5/29/2008 - Jacob - Complete
I Want to Hate You by rapink93 reviews
Paul wants to hate Angela. Seeing that she is Bella's friend. But he can't fight the love he has for her. Imprinting sucks. Paul's POV. This story will only be a series of short drabbles
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,643 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/7/2008 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Paul, Angela - Complete
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She's so Luzly reviews
This is a Jake imprint story. *No Nessie.* Jake imprints on a girl that is five years younger than him. Can he convince her that he really loves her? Or will her past catch up to her and take her away first?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,088 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/25/2012 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Jacob
Birthday present reviews
So, this is a birthday present for one of my best friends, Nettie. The Pinkaholic on Fanfiction. Demetri's been gone a while, and he comes home to...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 877 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2012 - Demetri - Complete
BUB reviews
You're nothing but a Big Ugly Brute, a B.U.B. This is a one-shot I wrote because my friend was being bullied. Please read and reveiw!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 255 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/6/2012 - Seth, Paul - Complete
Not on your life reviews
That stuck up prick! He thinks he is so amazing that he can do anything he wants to anyone and not get away with it? Not with me here. I hate him! And now I'm going to make his life as miserable as he made mine.I WON'T UPDATE THIS UNTIL MY OTHER STORYS F
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,044 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/2/2012 - Paul
Forever and Always reviews
Hannah is a small town girl, living in a huge world. After all, she is Hannah Montana! This is a Theirry and Hannah story Sorry, but I don't have much time to write this story. Not on Hiatus, just expect VERY slow updates. 1 per month, maybe
Night World series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,806 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/10/2012 - Published: 2/6/2012 - Hannah S., Thierry D.
Jeremy Trouble reviews
The Daybreaker Girls are bored. Poppy comes up with a plan. My first post! Please R&R! I DON'T OWN NIGHT WORLD!
Night World series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,179 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/26/2012 - Ash R., Jezebel R. - Complete
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