Poll: What should the genders of the legendary Pokemon in "Unforeseen Circumstances" be? Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Star Fox, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon, and Redwall.
I have FINALLY figured out my update schedule. I will type up each chapter in order from first (continued) story to last, so expect to have all other stories in hiatus until you see an up date for the previous story. so in order it is UJC, UC, UC:AR1, and UC:AR2, so i am currently working on UJC's next chapter(s) so all other stories are on a temporary hiatus for now.
I hear tapping on my window at night and when i look through i see a tall man standing there. he wears a black suit with red tie and has a feature less face, like just skin stretched over a skull. can any one tell me who or what it is?
I. AM. AN. IDIOT. so i am/was watching a "Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman" about timetravel, and i realized what the Pokemon Giratina (is that how you spell it?) represents, like how Palkia is Space and Dialga is Time. Giratina is Space-Time.
i am back from the DEAD! (Not really, I've been busy helping Death with those poor souls that were lost for nothing during the Human-Covanet war) i have decided to scrap The Journeys of Fox Downs and have started a new series. yay! it's called the Universe Jumper Chronicles. JoFD did not gove much about Fox's back story so i did this instead. i'll still leave JoFD up but i won't continue it.
i think i have forgotten to mention the fact that i severely dislike it, when people put their usernames as something, yet never write about that topic.
for those of you star-wars writers that don't seem to know this...EARTH IS NOT PART OF THE GALACTIC REPUBLIC/EMPIRE!!! it is in the UNKNOWN regions
Those of you who write Latias and Latios stuff, i regret (not) to inform you that IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION TO THE END OF THE MOVIE YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN TWO LATIOS'S AND ONE LATIAS APPEAR!!!!!!(sorry if this spoiled the movie for you)
As I am a HUGE Minecraft nerd (even though I don't have the game) epic avatar :DD. it says MINECRAFT once i had a future. Now i have Minecraft. i am a total supporter of those who are in the rAvOlition! :DD (get it revolution rAvOlition) (alltho Israphel gets on my nerves)
eh i'll change these later...THEY HAVE BEEN CHANGED!!!!
hair: balck or dark grey
clothes: some sort of dark T-shirt and sweat pants. has a dark grey and black jacket left open
eyes: dark brown with specks of Bright green (until he gets his SPARTAN augmentations (for the changed eyes see below), this is at the beginning of the story)
Powers: After augmentations he gains the ability to control all forms of heat and flame, is still exploring what that lets him do.
hair: naturally blonde, but she dyes it white leaving streaks of natural hair color
clothes: same as Fox just more of white and light grey
eyes: a deep blue with bright green specks (doesn't change)
Note: she is no longer a full main character in the story.
Hair/fur: dark grey with silver streaks
clothes: same as above, carries around a bottomless duffle bag
eyes: (tricky part) dark grey with silver outline and jagged spikes of silver heading towards the pupil
powers: ability to control fire/heat, seems telepathic, but then again, when you live with three psychic Pokemon you pick up on somethings (he's just REALLY REALLY REALLY good at reading people and can pick up on emotions), when adrenalin get out of control eyes go completely silver having a slight glow and triggering a run as quickly as possible away response form all who see them, and has limited use of aura thanks to training from Luc, his Lucario
Species: Half human, half Vulpix
Height: about 4'10"
Hair/fur: Waist length red-brown hair with orange bangs that partly cover her eyes, has six orange tails.
Clothes: warm colors that are large and baggy enough to hide her tails inside them, a red bandanna with orange markings to cover her fox like, on-top of head ears.
Eyes: a pure, warm amber with what looks like no pupil
Powers: able to use fire type attacks, good with all types of martial arts skills, likes guns and is very accurate (ex. enemy standing 100 meters out of hit the dot accuracy range of an SMG, she fires the gun,head shot, on a target you get a smiley face, she has that accuracy and further with any gun. She doesn't like you and she gets her hands on a sniper, you're standing several miles away, consider yourself dead.)
Species: can't tell, anthro Vulpix maybe
Dark Fox Downs
looks like fox but is more like a shadow (is just like Nikki's Darki Thanks StoryWolf!!) with blood red eyes
Fox's Pokemon (does include some that are not in the story yet) Eve the Gardevoir, Luc the Lucario, Vee the Omnivon, Breeze the Dragale, Zel the Floatzel, Tia the Latias, Soph the Ninetales, Arson (Arc) the Arcanine, and Trixie the Zoroark. (more will be added later on)
Maria's Pokemon Amber the Vulpix
i hope StoryWolf can use these to help her to draw my characters
Unforeseen Circumstances (and Alternate Reality parts) Characters
Name: Jason Kings (1)
Species: Human/Absol Anthro (like this for the rest of his life after experimentation by those annoying evil teams we all know and love)
Age: 14 (and on)
Hair: Shortish brown-black-grey hair. (Dark blonde in winter, Deep brown at current length in summer, Black-Grey at military length in summer)/ Absol fur white and has that strange curve down the left side of face, a black spot in the middle of the hair on his forehead, on one side there is LONG black hair that has the strange properties of an Absol's horn. (when he get's ready for a fight he tends to tie that hair into the sickle/scythe.
Clothes: like Fox's minus the Jacket/White jacket and shirt and sweatpants. the jacket and sweatpants have what looks like black streaks from the elbow/ knee to the ALMOST the wrist/ankle. Note: the streak is ALWAYS on the OUTER part of the elbow/knee. he has a watch that will be explained a bit more down below. he wears special white shoes with slits to allow for his retractable feet claws. same with his gloves.
Eyes: Fox's after SPARTAN augmentations/Red like an Absol's. There is a cut that has never fully healed on his left eye so when he cries or his eyes water you can count of seeing him "cry" blood.
Powers: has a "Watch" that allows him to have any sort of protective suit and weapons. (he doesn't use it much though) the black "streaks" on his clothes are really switch blade like spike blade things. he can use all the moves of an Absol and has the same senses of one. already told you about his claws.
Personality: he tends to be slightly reserved until he gets to know you better. he is loyal and will ALWAYS stick up for what he believes is right. he can seem a bit mad or insane because of what he has been through. Claims to have a PhD in Psychological warfare and kicking a$$. He says that he bleeds tears and cries blood. tends to quote The Sorrow a lot.
Pokemon: All of his Pokemon are female and almost all of them have had experiments done to them too (Latias/Tia Lass has not). mainly the fact that they all have enough human DNA to switch between an Anthro and Pokemon form. They are an Absol (Midnight), Zoroark (Trixie), Umbreon (Luna), Blaziken (Who has had Dark Type forced into her so she has that "Shadow the Hedgehog" look meaning she is mostly Blood Red with the neck/hair feathers being black and yellow where it needs to go.) the Blaziken's name is Shado Kasai (Shadow Fire in Japanese) Shado or Kasai for short. Last but not least is Latias/Tia Lass for when the Dark types can't do something she helps out. her profile is just below.
Family: He does have a mom, dad, twin, younger brother, and younger sister. but they are not with him (not dead, just in his home universe)
History: about a week after finding a Latias in his room, Jason unwillingly travels through space and time with her to the Latias's home universe and region (Ameria) where she works as a Pokemon Center and Research assistant. (only the Nurse Joy's and Professor Pewdie know that she's a Latias.) shortly after becoming a trainer Jason is captured by Team Homosimi for experimentation. he is injected with Absol DNA and manages to escape while rescuing a Absol, Torchic, Zorua, and Eevee. later on he finds out that they all have been injected with human DNA and starts planning on how to bring Homosimi to it's knees. When he learns that several legendary Pokemon have been captured and are being held in the base where he was taken, Jason raids the place and frees them. they join him in his quest to bring Homosimi down even though he has not captured them. after rescuing more legendary's, he defeats the leader of Homosimi, Moses. Jason manages to get back to his home universe, but before long is forced to leave because he's not "normal". after this he wanders the Pokemon universes before settling down with on an island not far from Ameria and turns it into a safe haven for the legendary Pokemon.
Likes: most Dark type Pokemon, the dark, his Pokemon, most of the Legendary Pokemon, and people who treat their Pokemon nicely.
Name: Latias/Tia Lass (pronounced Loss)
Species: Latias/Latias disguised as a human
Age: 1/looks 14
Hair/fur: has feathers/ sleek brown hair with a hair band with decorations that look like a Latias's ears
Clothes: Just about anything that is red and/or white
Eyes: a soft golden orange
Powers: any that a Latias has/ same as before with extreme attractiveness (aka pretty girl distraction)
(Alternate Reality 1)
Name: Jason Kings
Species: human/Mobian Malamute/Redwaller Malamute/Lylatian Malamute
Age: 14/16/18 and on
Hair/fur: a glossy black/think wolf
Clothes: same as the Jason above/black finger-less gloves and military boots
Eyes: Deep brown with green flecks/ Blazing orange with a darker orange separating his eyes into perfect quarters
Powers: Carries around a Chaos Emerald (although he finds that out when he "drops in" on Mobius) that is a Blazing orange with darker orange lines splitting it into perfect quarters. his eyes change color depending on his "view" they look blind when he is in X-ray vision, in Night Vision they are that color green, in Heat Vision they are that color spectrum with the hottest at the top and coldest at the bottom, in "Chaos" vision they are the color of his emerald. he can split the emerald into the quarters and place two of them in different positions on his sword rod (his preferred position is Energy Sword style)and creates a sword of Chaos energy and the other two quarters are placed on a shield gauntlet that spins them around REALLY fast and twin "sharp" Yin-Yang halves are formed. he can fire bursts of chaos energy from the sword in different ways depending of the shape, and he can swing the shield detaching on of the halves that can cleave several enemies in two. He can shape an stiffen his fur into any melee weapon (but it does have a distance limit) and can run as fast as Nikki (see StoryWolf)
Species: Mobian Malamute/human/Redwaller Malamute/Lylatian Malamute
Age: 14/16/18 and on
Hair/Fur: glossy black with gold dyed inlays/think wolf (again)
Clothes: white finger-less gloves and steel-toes with silver linings. white and grey shirts, shorts, pants, jackets, etc. (no dresses, you wouldn't catch her DEAD in a dress.)
Powers: She is a telepath (and prone to reading other people's minds as a habit to make sure they aren't hostile) she can run as fast as Nikki (don't know who that is? look up StoryWolf) and shape and harden her fur into just about any sort of melee weapon (but it does have a distance limit)
info on mah stories
Universe Jumper Chronicles: is (one of) my newest creations (not really i spent several month while my account was down writing this)
This one probably has not been posted yet, Unforeseen Circumstances: takes place in a universe much like yours. does NOT follow the story line of UJC (might be random things about it) and now how 'bout a small sneak peek huh?
Let me explain a bit about me. My name is Jason Kings, I have, well USED to have, eyes that were a deep green with small gold flecks. I like to wear pretty much anything dark as long as it is not purple, red, green, yellow, or anything like that. I will wear blues, blacks, and greys. I prefer to keep my hair short, around military length. I’m 14 (now) and going into high school. I am very close to being underweight for my age, about 107. I live in Zionsville, Indiana (No I won’t say EXACTLY were). I liked to be alone most of the time. All in all, I used to live an average life. Key word there USED TO, it all changed a week before my 14th birthday when SHE appeared in my room...
By the way. I NEED REVIEWS PEOPLES!!!! I CAN"T GET INSPIRATION IF I DON'T REVIEWS!!! constructive criticsisum (can't spell it) i good. Flames will be used to make s'mores, quite literally. i WILL write them on pieces of paper and use those to start a campfire. NEED O/CS BADLY!!! i do it for some of your stories, why won't you do the same? *uses the dreaded Cutsie Eyes of Doom*
something else, this deals with the Unforeseen Circumstances universe, i am planning on Jason and HER to go into the Pokemon universe somehow. there will be a poll on this prof. about the genders of the Legendary Pokemon. will be up until the end of July, so do the poll and let me know! Actually let me rephrase that. it will be up until i write that part of the story.
There is an experimental chapter story a coming! 'tis called Unforeseen Circumstances: Alternate Reality 1. it is a triple threat crossover in this order; Sonic the Hedgehog, Redwall, and Starfox. features roughly the same main, main character and MIGHT feature one of the lesser characters from the regular UC story. the Prologue
Well, this has to be the strangest days/weeks/months of my life. If being transported to another universe and changing into something else wasn’t crazy enough, those evil robots trying to wipeout anything that is sentient and living certainly aren’t helping, BUT meeting that hot otherworldly chick did help quite a bit…and there I go rambling on. Let me start from the beginning… First off, my name is Jason Kings. I used to have a normal life until I got knocked out in a stream somewhere in Colorado, woke up in a hospital with a strange gem in my hands.
stuff that has nothing to do with my stories
This is for all you awesome people out there. WHEN DOES THE NARWHAL BACON!?!? (pm me if you know the answer. first one who does get's there user name mentioned in my prof.)
something for you fools who write Sonic the hedgehog pairings (or any other parings this includes shippings). sonicxamy (or what ever it is)=good, sonicxO/C (or Ash or whoever it is)=okay, and sonicxshadow(AshxJessie or Gary) and or rouge or other=bad. it will never happen. THE SAME GOES FOR ALL OF YOU WHO DO THIS!!!! yaoi= DISPROVE!!!! (i am perfectly fine with it in real life, but in a ff EW, just ew)
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven
i will appreciate it if you guys (and girls) can give me some of those funny "Copy and Paste this into your profile if you have done this" thingies.
My Life's Soundtrack. (will be changed in about a year)
Opening Credits : Never Surrender
Waking Up : Fireflies
First Day of School : Hide
Falling in Love : Coming Back Down
Fight Song : Not Gonna Die
Prom : Want You Gone
Life : Another One Bites The Dust
Mental Breakdown : The Final Countdown
Driving : It’s Not Me It’s You
Flashback : To The Sky
Getting Back Together : Don’t Mine At Night
Losing Your Virginity : Should’ve When You Could’ve
Wedding : One Day Too Late
Birth of Child : Deja Vu
Final Battle : L490
Death Scene : Faceless
Funeral Song: Life is a Highway
End Credits : Battle Cry
The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000 word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.
Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
Agato the Venom Host
The Dark Graven
Lord Orion Salazar Black
Kumo no Makoto
Korraganitar the NightShadow
Final Black Getsuga
Masane Amaha's King
Nero Angelo Sparda
DO IT!!! (if others have done this, please give me your username so i can add them.)
Copy and Paste things
If you are weird and you are proud of it, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever talked back to your TV because of what someone on the show said, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it ,Sn1ck3rD00dl3, Annoyed Child, Ryu-chan the koorime,sqishy-muffin, AkatsukiFan, Shifter-youkai, ChOpStIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Nigellica, Getting-up-for-the-let-down, UzumakiNasadi, Species Unknown
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001, HeartOfAgony, sorceress-of-faith, Ribbon-chan03, LaughsLikeGirl, Zakuro17, Getting-up-for-the-let-down, UzumakiNasadi, Species Unknown, Lightning Latias
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Nigellica, Getting-up-for-the-let-down, UzumakiNasadi, Species Unknown
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
Love Vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..
Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?
If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile
If you are looking for more of these, Copy and Paste this into your profile.
If you copy and pasted that petition right before the copy and paste section, copy and paste this to your Profile..."I am/was one of those who protested against the removal of stories with lemons or extreme violence from this sight." add your name too!
If you agree with me on the question of "why did the FanFiction sight moderators not take action YEARS ago when people posted lemons and extreme violence and start NOW!?" copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird, means you are normal. Saying that your normal is odd. If you admit that your weird and are very proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
A poem about abortion. Very sad!
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
It is Murder...The dad was at work, they came to the mother, who was 7 months pregnant with her second child. They beat her, dragged her to the hospital against her will, forcibly drugged her, and then aborted the baby without her consent. If you are against the Chinese Communist Party's violations/abuse of human rights and the forced abortion, Copy and Paste to show you care. then add your name, Species Unknown,
My name is Molly
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Molly
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care
I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
You know you live in 2008 when you...
1.) accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it and I know you did
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile! (BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!)
Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. (or coats, handbags. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal eletrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile, dammit!
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (and i never will)
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, loop-de-loop-ride, wfea, PotterPhan21, Tansiana, Tigerlilystar, Sweet-Sunshyne, iBlametheNargles, Latias_Saphira, Species Unknown
If you think you are awesome, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have an unhealthy obsession with weapons, fire, sharp things, etc, copy and paste this into your profile
If you laughed at any of the above, copy and paste this into your profile
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love your ability to read, write, and own a library card more than you love school copy and past this into your profile.
I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
98 percent of teens do or have tried pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who have not, copy and paste this into your profil
if you hate the Edward Cullen fangirls, copy and paste this into your profile PLEASE!!!!
If you see no point in the vampire novel, TWILIGHT, and all its sequels, copy and paste this into your profile and prove to the world that Twilight is just a load of over-advertised/loved crap.
if you agree that Romeo and Juliet is just a relationship between a thirteen year-old and a seventeen year-old that lasted three days, incorporated the deaths of six people, and is NOT a romance/tragedy story copy and paste this into your profile. (if i ruined it for you, trust me, you'll thank me later)
If you hate High School Musical and you wish that they would all just die then copy and paste this onto your profile. (well, maybe not die. that would be extreme, but i wish they would disappear.)
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I LIKE LLAMAS, so I MUST be either Peruvian or an annoying freak.
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a GIRL so I MUST love Barbie, wear pink and go out with the guy next door.
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I LIKE ANIME, so I MUST be a yaoi fan.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I DON'T LIKE THE TWILIGHT SERIES so I MUST be a REJECT. (i don't don't like them, i *ing HATE them!)
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I'm JAPANESE so I MUST love anime and eat sushi every day.
I'm DYSLEXIC so I must have one SPECIAL SKILL and be utterly rubbish at everything else.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST be JINGOISTIC and BAD-TEMPERED.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (and i am)
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST be GINGER, love HAGGIS, play the BAGPIPES and wear a KILT.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I'm BRITISH, so I MUST be either a chav or a stuck-up toff.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast ( or parent's don't allow it)
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
If you wish that fictional characters were real, copy and paste this to your profile
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous
There is a light at the end of every tunnel...just pray it's not a train!.
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
Life and Death: By Leanne Main
Her Dad was a drunk,
Her only friend,
She always talked to it,
Until her parents,
A bruise on her leg,
But she grabs her bear,
She sits in a corner,
Such a bad life,
Then one night,
Then her Mom suddenly,
She thrust the blade,
The Mom walked out,
Police showed up,
One officer slowly,
It must have been bad,
PLEASE REMEMBER THAT CHILD ABUSE IS VERY REAL. DO ALL YOU CAN TO STOP IT AND SPREAD AWARENESS.
(why are there no boy "i am the girl who..."?)
1: Is it an animal? No.
2: Is it a mineral? No.
3: Is it a vegetable? Yes.
4: Is it smart? No.
5: Is it bigger than a breadbox? Sometimes.
6: Is it found in the forest? Yes.
7: Is it Furyfur? Definitely not. Nor is it M or any other friend that hates it.
8: Is it awesome? Never.
9: Is it hard to find? No.
10: Does it have purple hair? No, they usually have unnatural red hair.
11: Is it a hobo? Yes but no.
12: Are they dipheads? Oh yes.
13: Do they have bad taste? Yes.
14: Is it obvious that they've never read/watched anything good in their life? Yes.
15: Are they aware of how clueless they are? No.
16: Do other people know that they're looking at idiots when they walk by? No, because they're usually camouflaged, unless it's on their t-shirts.
17: Do they notice really obvious mistakes? No.
18: Will they ever get boyfriends/girlfriends? Boyfriends, no. Girlfriends, possibly but obviously they're not interested.
19: Do they think that all hot guys sparkle, they just use a lot of sunscreen so you can't see it during the day? I wouldn't know.
20: Is your word "Twilight fans?" Correctamundo!
--Copy and paste above on your profile if you hate Twilight fans.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I wasBLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.
A true Pokemon fan is someone who will defend it when someone makes fun of it. It is someone who will love over anything else no matter what age and is not afraid to shout it out to the world. A true Pokemon fan will encourage others to learn the important meanings that Pokemon holds. And you'll love Pokemon forever and ever. If you are a true Pokemon fan, then copy this onto your profile!
If you despise spammers and crap-tastic authors, copy and paste this onto your profile, then slap your pen name in after mine: Mike Prower the Fox, Species Unknown
I went to a party, Mom,
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school
We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
(Originally from mandy-san's profile)
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did it!
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?
Be nice to your kids, they'll chose your nursing home.
An apple a day keeps the Doctor away...if you can throw it hard enough.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
Unattended children will be given a puppy and an espresso. -- Actual sign at a restaurant.
"Don't let worries kill you, let the church help." -actual church sign fail on the internet
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
They Hurt HerAbout six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.
If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you
1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7. Note expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, um... um... Damn.
25. Train army of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49. That way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a shit.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can also kill you.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM...
66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it's broken glass.
73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers into blender.
82. Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as "mortal".
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...
Copy and Paste this to your profile if you laughed at at least one of those. I know you did. =3
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (ya that's the only time i have for my daily primping...)
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (a bit late for that!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (what, you were thinking it would be COLD??)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of car accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off our streets...)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (isn't that why i'm taking this in the first place...?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (ummm... WHAT OTHER USE??)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (whoa! talk about a newsflash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Southwest??)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
Don't read this if you don't like those horror story things!
There were 3 girls
They were looking through people's MySpaces
The girl slowly came upon this one particular MySpace
It had creatures in the background, and the man looked like a phsycho
She started laughing with her friend on how ugly he was
Right then, an instant message came up
It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like myMySpace??
XxLoVemExX: What?? Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know; you're looking at my MySpace right now.
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how?
SatanStalker: I just do. Especially to pretty girls like you. With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high shorts.
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover whatever she could.
Her and her friend started to get worried now.
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living daylights out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy *beep* man just block him, he's a freaking psycho!
The girl: Ok holy *beep, you think he's watching us?
SatanStalker: I am. Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem.
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem.
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really scared.
Girl's friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs, trust me I doubt he's really coming. It's just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girl's friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.
She goes and knocks but no one said anything
She opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead.
She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom; her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. With her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
Dormitory: Dirty room
Animosity: Is no amity
Astronomer: Moon starer
George Bush: He bugs Gore
The eyes: They see
Slot machine: Cash lost in me
Presbyterian: Best in prayer
Election results: Lies! Let's recount
Snooze alarms: Alas! no more z's
Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one
The earthquakes: That queer shake
Mother in law: Woman Hitler
Desperation: A rope ends it
15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
post this on your profile if you hate justin beiber, think he sounds like a girl, think he's 5 years old, and only has his music to make fun of him. also if your not one of those die-hard fans that travel hours to see him, cry when he sings, and never wash your hand when he touches it in a concert. add your name if you hate JB: KNDnumbuh007, rachpop15, buddygirl1004(all 5 of us!), In the Closet Fanfic Reader, thewayfaringstrangers, Cookie of the Dark Side, Species Unknown
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
.••) .•).•.•) .•)
I Have A Few Questions . . .
Repost this if you agree with it.
One Nation, 'Under Allah.'
97% of teens would cry if they saw Edward Cullen standing
95 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off, add this to your profile!
They laugh because I'm different...I laugh because they're the same.
Newscasters are the people who tell you "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it's not.
I live in my own little world. But that's okay; they know me there.
If you can't convince them, confuse them
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Don't make me mad... I'm known to bite at random
Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
I didn't invent sarcasm, but I perfected it
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If you can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
When your board and want something to do, open your text book and start writing, "Terrorist attack at 3:00 AM" on all the pages, then give it to a cop. When he asks who wrote this, say your teachers name and take him to the school.
When your teacher tells you to solve a problem on the board, go up there and start writing her life story.
Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Smile. It scares people.
What does not kill me had better run pretty darn fast!
yeah, I'm crazy, it runs in the family, what's your excuse?
There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives
I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away
If you laugh I will laugh If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh harder
If it starts actually raining cats and dogs, don't go outside
(the answering machine)
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you
Hi, this is the refrigerator. John's answering machine is broken but i'll give the message to John. Now just speak very slowly while i write down the message and stick it to myself with these little cute magnets
I'm out of my mind! but feel free to leave me a message
(end answering machine)
My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, I replied, no, we all seem to enjoy it
Just remember, everything happens for a reason. So when I smack you upside the head, remember... I had a reason!
Whatever it is, I didn't do it. Unless I was supposed to do it, in which case I did it brilliantly
Bleach and latex gloves: $10... Plastic wrap, trash bags and duct tape: $ 20...Chainsaw: $200
The Horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
A friend would help you up when you trip and fall. A best friend would laugh, trip you again, then laugh some more!(:
Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."
I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice
I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?!
I am so talented I can fall up the stairs, trip on flat surfaces, and get hit by a parked car. Aren't I just amazing? :)
sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say 'YOU'RE IT!!' and then run away
I wonder if anyone else has road rage when pushing a cart through the aisles at Wal-Mart?
The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary
I have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen
Sarcasm is not a free service I offer...It's a personality trait
I'm smiling. That alone should scare you
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional
What you're looking for is always in the last place you look..." Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!"
here's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird
The voices and I took a vote, and your insane
(On a T-Shirt) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?
Normal people worry me.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.
I'm that type of girl/boy who walks into chairs and says sorry
"If all your friends were jumping off a cliff would you jump off too?" -- "If it meant that I would never hear that stupid cliche again I would be first in line."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
It's okay to talk to inanimate objects, its when they talk back that you should be worried
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door
Deck of Cards
It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.
The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'
The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'
The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'
The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,
I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'
The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'
'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments
The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .
The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.
The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.
The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.
Prayer for the Military.
Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on...
Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Bless them and their families.
I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.
There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.
Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.
Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on
One Sunday in church, a congregation of 2,000 was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to foot in black and carrying submachine guns.
One of the men proclaimed 'Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ, remain where you are.'
Instantly, the choir fled, the deacons fled...and most of the congregation fled, too.
Out of the 2,000, there remained only 20. The man who had spoken took off his hood. He said, 'I got rid of all the hypocrites for you, Pastor. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!'
If you are willing to take a bullet for Christ, copy and paste the above story into your profile, and add your name to this list: TaggerungGirl, lord Vrel, Zach of Death, Species Unknown
Why do we ((sleep)) in church, But stay ((awake)) through a 2 hour movie? Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about God, but so ((easy)) to Gossip? Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a Christian magazine, but find it ((easy)) to read Playboy? Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a Godly Facebook Wall Post, Yet we ((repost)) the nasty ones? Why are ((churches)) getting smaller, But ((bars and clubs)) are growing? Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Would You Have Read This if it Said... Read This In Gods Name.
FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? Question mark? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Killer of thy Cookies (Singapore), Inspirational Spark (Both of us!)- United States, UmbraFox (Australia) Species Unknown (USA)
The Top Ten Reasons Why Anti-Gay Marriage People Are Stupid:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. (Take that Fred Phelps!)
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.
"So, you want to know some of my titles eh? Well, here's a few; Wanderer Eternal, Loser, Annoying, freak, unnatural, POS, and SOB. And those are just a few of the NICE ones!"-Fox Downs
"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." Winston Churchill
(my own little twist on that quote) "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. The Master Chief has faced the living embodiment of fear and lived, so naturally, he should have nothing to fear."- me on The Master Chief
"I am the embodiment of your sins." (anyone guess who that is?) P.S. this person/thing is the living (well technically undead) embodiment of fear.
"Wake me...when you need me..." Chief to Cortana in the legendary ending of Halo 3
"hna,hna,hna,hna,ha! Do you REALLY think that would kill me? You're dumber than I thought. What part of Prophet of Death do you not understand? It means, I. Can't. Die."-Fox Downs
If at first you don't succeed, Skydiving is not for you.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them.
Faliures are not those who fall down, but those who are not willing to bother getting back up.
When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice into the eyes of your enemies.
When life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world try to figure out how you did it.
You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Snowflakes: God's version of an unassembled snowman. Okay, God, we have enough pieces now.
Silence can not be misquoted.
You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Choose at least 3, at most 10 of these to possibly go on your grave
"If you think that nothing is impossible, then you've obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."
"You can't stop saving the world if you are the chosen one. The universe forbids it." some Deviantart person named Tiger-of-Zen
"im awake and alive and i need a savior because a monster lives inside me i will never surrender untill i collide while looking for angels this is the last night so say goodbye because its not me its you so become stronger be better than drugs and you to can become a hero"-1thehightofparadise
|Focus:||General: All Categories|