Wolfy The Tea Loffer
hide bio
Poll: Why are you here? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-22-12, id: 3653877, Profile Updated: 12-21-13

Wolfy The Tea Loffer (wohl-fee) (noun)

1. A self proclaimed sociopathic little fucker who happens to be an anglophile and loves all genres of music.

2. To be sexy; to be considered the ultimatum of physical attraction.

3. A word describing a person who fails at everything.

See also: Professor, fangirl, dumbass

Antonyms: Alan Rickman


Married to a list of people which I lost, but I can remember Rain, Talon, Ten, Jimmy, Frolquicek, and Slenderman.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ashes of the Past by Saphroneth reviews
Time travel, based on the Anime. So, the world ended. That's bad news. Who best to get to fix it? Well, there is this guy with a track record in world saving... Not entirely serious. T rating may be overdoing it.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 112 - Words: 563,641 - Reviews: 4018 - Favs: 2,618 - Follows: 2,444 - Updated: 5/3 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Ash K./Satoshi, Pikachu
Dragonrend by Myrielle reviews
Because there was a deeper, darker version of Dragonrend… Now Alduin must learn to live again, not as a devourer of worlds, but as a man.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 48 - Words: 222,746 - Reviews: 1339 - Favs: 1,223 - Follows: 1,352 - Updated: 4/18 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Alduin, Dragonborn/Dovahkiin
Childs Play by pupeez4eva reviews
Prussia accidentally turns America and Germany into kids again. Now he has to hide America from England, and distract Germany from his quest to find his long-lost love...a.k.a Italy. HRE!Germany.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 26 - Words: 50,143 - Reviews: 786 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 639 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 10/20/2012 - America, Prussia
I'm, Like, a High School Student Now! by Charlcharl reviews
Poland wants to impress his best friend, Lithuania. And how does he do this? He proves that nothing's going to beat him, whether it's fighting in a war or...surviving high school for a year. Ouran looks both fancy and expensive and so is the obvious choice. What will happen when Feliks goes to school for the first time ever? (Warning: Gets darker!)
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,763 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Kyōya O., Poland
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 29835 - Favs: 16,160 - Follows: 14,369 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Carousel by Oilux reviews
Alfred just moved to a new remote town with his mother, hoping for a new start. Their house is surrounded with woods, and during a sleepover, Alfred and his friends sneak out and find an abandoned park where a carousel captures all of their attention. Together, they restore the battered ride, yet what will happen when they finish? COMPLETE
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 40,002 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 2/3 - Published: 8/25/2012 - N. Italy, Germany, England/Britain, America - Complete
Finding Utopia by lumassen reviews
"I ran for my life. I had dared to love another man, and so I was to be killed. Once outside of the walls, it's a completely different world..." Berwald is an exile of Utopia, along with Lukas, Mathias and Emil. Tino, the newest exile, discovers a secret, and the people lost in time. What's the reason for his exile? Could two worlds be on the brink of war because of him?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,382 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 1/8 - Published: 4/23/2013 - Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark
Tale of Two Dovah by Victor Weiss reviews
Drake and Sito love Skyrim, Drake likes dragons and Sito likes killing random things. However, when they get sucked into Skyrim through unexplained and logic defying ways, they find themselves in a very odd situation unlike anything they'd ever expect from such a fanfic about Self Inserts. Now, they must journey for answers! RnR, I own nothing and SIs and plot bunnies!
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,516 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 9/16/2014 - Published: 9/5/2012
The Hetalia Pocky Game by The Epic Turtles reviews
What happens when Hungary and Japan combine forces and take over the World Meeting? Great minds think alike. Multiple pairings and total fluff galore...and maybe more.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 43,331 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 8/1/2014 - Published: 3/23/2013 - Japan, Hungary
Flowers of Red, White, and Blue by EgyptianRatScrew reviews
"How many times do I have to explain this to you? My name is Alfred. F. Jones, not America. I am not a country for it is impossible to be a country!" America has been missing for ten years, and he is finally found by the G8 in 2022. It turns out that he has lost his memory and has been living as a human all this time. Can the G8 help him remember who he really is?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 112,080 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 403 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 2/27/2014 - Published: 10/29/2012 - America - Complete
Shenanigans by Niki-the-awesome reviews
Alfred is turned into a cat and is taken in by Russia, who has no idea his cat is actually a fellow nation. Alfred then destroys Ivan's furniture. Comedy ensues.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 74,799 - Reviews: 766 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 470 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 12/2/2010 - America, Russia - Complete
That's Up For Debate by Somepatriot reviews
"Hello, Mr. Cleavland," Arthur greeted, nodding his head. Jim pressed his lips into a thin, neutral expression. "Good Afternoon, Arthur." Arthur smiled, a demented sort of smirk, and shook the blonde bangs out of his eyes. "So, you're probably wondering why I'm duct taped to the ceiling." (US/UK) Highschool!AU-Debate Team
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,777 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 12/30/2013 - Published: 3/4/2013 - America, England/Britain
Just One Week by BunnyOfMint reviews
After getting an assignment at school, Arthur is forced to volunteer at the local school for mute, blind, and deaf children. He gets assigned to be the 'buddy' of one American – who, despite being mute, manages to be rather loud. USUK, Yaoi, AU. /on indefinite hiatus
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,389 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 7/22/2013 - Published: 2/16/2013 - England/Britain, America
A Matter of Time by cultureandseptember reviews
The threads will unravel. (Slow-building, serious take on the "OC dropped into Hetalia" trope. Historical. No pairings.) [Credit to Creativay for cover art.] COMPLETE.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 202,682 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 3/1/2013 - England/Britain, America, Egypt, OC - Complete
Just a Little Drunk by Llygoden reviews
Germany and Italy are drinking together. Over the course of the evening, both of them have their own realisations. Gerita
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,536 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/2/2013 - Published: 4/11/2013 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
Waking up in Skyrim by artemide68 reviews
A girl bored with her current life heads to sleep after playing Skyrim till late. When she wakes up she finds herself in Helgen, and is about to be executed...
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 38 - Words: 77,349 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 3/20/2013 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Dragonborn/Dovahkiin, Faendal
Too Many Left Behind by Xx A Misguided Ghost xX reviews
This is a group of poems written in honor of all the warriors that have fallen. Please read and review! If you will, please request cats. Rated T for blood and death
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 37 - Words: 8,841 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Complete
Merry Christmas, LawlClan by For Our Duckies reviews
This is quite a boring story; you should read something else. Here we just study (trans-1,4-bis[(4-pyridyl)ethenyl]benzene)(2,2'-bipyridine)ruthenium(II) and its effect on Ferncloud's kit production.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,275 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/31/2012 - Published: 12/11/2012
Diaries of a Dragonborn by REVOLuTiontte En Casca reviews
Dear Diary, I will make sure to preserve you for future generations if: I'm still alive after all this gallivanting across Tamriel, and my back is not yet broken from carrying the Dragonborn's junk. Love, Lydia.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 56,906 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/4/2012 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Lydia - Complete
No Souls by Coqui's Song reviews
When Firestar dies, he thinks he's going straight to StarClan. Little does he know that gingers have no souls...
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,675 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/3/2012 - Firestar - Complete
I Was Trained For This by Shadow-TheLastHero reviews
Sparkkit was always ignored. By her family, and just about everyone else. Except Briarthorn. Sparkpaw was treated like an outcast. Cats ignored her and, if they didn't, they spat names at her. Except Briarthorn. Sparkwater was always left out of everything. Cats hated her. Except Briarthorn. That was because she was the assasin. Briarthorn taught her everything about assasination..
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,693 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Complete
The Dimension Chronicles: Meet the Warriors by Totally-Not-Addicted reviews
Stacey's life takes a turn towards the crazy side when she warps two Warrior cats into the real world. Now, she has to take care of them until they can go back home. She soon finds out that her task isn't as simple as it seems...
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,604 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 4/25/2012 - Bramblestar, Squirrelflight - Complete
World Is Ours by the butt-loving cynic reviews
There are three things wrong with Riley's life: She's going to a new school, she has an insane grandma who thinks she's lesbian, and said crazy grandma gave her a globe that spews forth hot men proclaiming to be countries. Wait, what?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 128,547 - Reviews: 776 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 8/20/2011 - America - Complete
HetaOni Chaos by Everlasting Faerie Light reviews
What happens when Hungary forces the nations to watch HetaOni on youtube? How will they react? Rated T for language. Slight USUK, slight GerIta, slight Spamano.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,359 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Japan, N. Italy - Complete
Haunted House by 0equilibrium0 reviews
When Matthew finally moves away from home, everything is new: new house, new city, new neighbors, new house mate...hold on a second, what?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 27,862 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 3/27/2011 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Canada, Prussia
Color by JansenFriedh827 reviews
Italy has a gift. He can see all the colors that connect people, represented by strings tied between them. He can see everyone's if he concentrates hard enough. Why is Germany any different? GerIta, hints of other relationships.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,065 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 675 - Follows: 60 - Published: 12/12/2010 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
tw1l1t3 by Georgasaurus reviews
Twilight sucks. We know it and George knew it, too. However, after flaming the vengeful Stephenie Flyer, George finds himself in the place of Bella. Will he manage to get away from his homosexual vampire stalker, or will he be stuck in Hell forever?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,313 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 12/7/2010 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Complete
Kyuketsuki by WhiteCrow10 reviews
The town of Sima has always been looming the shadow of the feared Kyuketsuki mansion, a vampire said to live in the building's dark catacombs. Monster hunter Alfred Jones comes into the picture. Can he keep his eyes on his job? USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,998 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 9/17/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Film Reels of You by CheshireCity reviews
Sometimes reuniting can be surprising. As Feliciano tends to a sick Ludwig, the German slowly begins to recall something familiar from the past... fluff, bl, comfort
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Sworn Brothers by Peridot Tears reviews
That was the day Japan stopped loving China.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,334 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Japan, China - Complete
Connection by Smrtypantz reviews
Alfred and Arthur may not get along in real life, but once they start chatting online without knowing who the other is, they find themselves falling for their mysterious emailer…
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,507 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 10/16/2009 - England/Britain, America - Complete