Poll: Which Person should find Percy and Artemis? Vote Now!
Author has written 2 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
10 WAYS TO BE S-T-U-P-I-D
1. Ask For Directions To A Place You're Already At.
How to annoy your parents.
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
 I need to tell you a secret. First, look at number 5.
Things to do on an Elevator
. Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
this is this cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on (or at least, smiling)
Boy: At last, I can hardly wait!
Aftermarriage (read it backwards
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Will teach me how to drive
FRIENDS: Will go to the concert with me
FRIENDS: Will hide me from the cops
FRIENDS: Will let me make a fool of myself in public
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add your name: Akatsuki Child, AeonFirebrand,The Prince of Awesomeness,
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch sutdy at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
Now my sroites can be mleipsdeld fveroer!
A while ago a twelve year old child was approached by a man who said "Deny that Jesus Christ was real, or die." The child did not and was killed, if you would rather be shot than deny the Lord Jesus Christ, copy, paste, and add your name; The Demented Leprachaun, Akastuk Child, InkWeaverabc, TheLunyOne, DragongirlM, NormalityIsNonexistant, booklover1398, hardrock1997 PercyJacksonChaosCommander, AeonFirebrand,The Prince of Awesomeness,
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children. Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
Johnny Brought A Gun To School
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
When life gives you Lemons
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate.
When life gives you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!
When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.
50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)
2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.
3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.
4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”
5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”
6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.
7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”
8. Don’t do your Homework.
9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.
10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”
11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.
12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.
13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”
14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.
15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!”
16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena
17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room
18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says
19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow
20. Speak in French.
21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”
22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well
23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."
24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.
25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”
26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."
27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”
28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”
29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.
30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”
32. Bring in a 7th Grader and says he’s your new pet.
33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.
34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.
35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.
36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.
37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.
38. Glue all their scissors together.
39. Make paperclip jewellery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…
40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”
41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’
42. Talk to a pen.
43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”
44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.
45. Smile. All the time.
46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”
47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’
48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"
49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.
50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.
51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!
52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!
53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"
54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"
55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!
56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!
57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!
58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my god. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! HELP!"
59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"
60. Every time she isn't looking at you have a slap war with the person sitting next to you.
61. Every time the announcements come on say”Oh No! Not the voices again!”
62.Every time they turn around, play charades with someone on the other side of the room.
63. Ask stupid questions that have nothing to do with what they’re teaching (e.g. Why do dogs have wet noses?)
64.If you're late, quote Tolkien: "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
65.Say to the teacher, "Excuse me, but I don't get ANY of this. If you could just start over from the beginning-say, September?
66. Sit in the front desk, where your teacher can see you. Then, just start scribbling in a notebook. When your teacher asks you, "What are you doing?" Reply by saying, "I'm drawing. Shouldn't you be teaching instead of looking at what I'm doing?"
67.If the teacher asks a question, jump up and down yelling "Pick me, pick me!" and act as if you're going to die if they don't call on you. Once they do, answer with "Orange".
68. Say "Seven days..." in a creepy voice
69.Write the words; “I hate school” in permanent marker on your forehead.
70. Make paper signs and go on strike because you are overworked and “underpaid”.
71.In history class, stand up and say, "Actually, that's not true at all." Then make up your own version, involving purple dragons.
72.When your teacher asks you a simple question such as "Who can tell us about Christopher Columbus and the effect he had on our history?" Be sure to include space aliens and giant pink elephants in your explanation
73. When asked to throw out your gum, politelty say "I regret to inform you that chewing gum is part of my religion, and I think it darn right rude of you to criticize the religion of another being!"
74. Send your teachers a list of "Ways to Annoy Your Teachers" in an envelope labeled "Blackmail."
75. Answer every question "Yes, Professor Umbridge..."