Author has written 24 stories for Babylon 5, Hobbit, Farscape, Team Fortress 2, Firefly, My Little Pony, The Tomorrow series, and Titfield Thunderbolt.
Right behind you! - The Spy from TF2
I own a copy of TF2, but nothing else save a few hats, a badge, a few weapons (drop system), and Pyrovision Goggles ('borrowed' from somebody I'd killed). I'm not Gabe Newell.
My profile picture is "Mother" from Psycho (the 1960 one).
Completed - Meet the SASman; The Warning; Die Leichte Kavallerie; Sniper's Walk; Last Men Standing; Old Dun Fortress - MACINTYRE; Unusual Conscripts; The New Zealand Stalwart; Nuclear Fortress 2; The Prisoners; Midnight Healing; Soldier Tzu's The Art of Fortress; The Support; After the Robot Wars; Old Mercenaries, New War; The Mangled Hands; Prison Break; A Kingdom For A Princess.
Completed but possibly continued - Valentine Meets Demoman; Your Forehead Looks Like A Coffee Table; Get to the Firefly, Lads!; Three Mercenaries in Equestria.
On hold - The Allies (unable to update until I have the original ending).
Currently working on - nothing.
Thanks to anyone who's given me a review!
I will convert any fanfiction to a script upon request (permission must be had from the original author if it is not yours - I WILL check).
Also, if anyone wants their fanfiction with an OC in a community, ask me. I'll check it over, and add it if I think that it's good enough for the community (and has an OC), I'll add it.
Steam profile: KingdomOfThomond
Extract from the B.E.F. (or Wipers) Times, No. 2 Vol. 1, Mon 25th December 1916
Intelligence Summary – X Regiment
Fanart for The Support (courtesy of Magic Winter):
Age: over 13
Location: Long Bredy, Dorset, England
Favourite Books: Tomorrow series, Redwall, Mortal Engines quartet, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, William, Discworld, Poirot, Jeeves and Wooster
Favourite Movies/TV: The Titfield Thunderbolt (about trains, incidently), Babylon 5, All Creatures Great and Small, Farscape, Red Dwarf, 2DTV
Favourite Edited TV Trailers: Law Abiding Engineer, Meet the Demopan,
Favourite Newspaper: Daily Mail (we must destroy The Guardian! Grrr.)
Favourite Video Games: Battlefield 1942, BF2, BF2:SF, Rise of Legends, The Hobbit; TF2
Favourite Artists: Rush, Be Five, Alestorm, Edvard Greig, Eric Coates, Vaughn Williams, Christopher Franke
Favourite Hobby/sport: fencing
Favourite Farscape Quotes
Rygel: [I'm] aquatic. That's water, not mud. Mud is mud. You can't breathe in it, you can't move in it. It holds you, it grabs you, it sucks you down. You want to know about mud? I know about mud!
Aeryn: [about Peacekeeper commandos] I'm sure your world has no force so ruthless, so disciplined.
Rygel: John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. May you have safe transport to the hallowed realm. Actually, not our hallowed realm. That's for Hynerians. Go find your own hallowed realm. With the Ceremony of Passage completed, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.
D'Argo: She was vague to the point that I suspect she doesn't have a clue.
Scorpius hallucination/Harvey: Revenge is a dish best served cold, and you like revenge, don't you John?
Scorpius hallucination/Harvey: [about Aeryn, in a Hawaiian shirt] Kill her! Then we'll have pizza!
Crais: FREEZE! You're under arrest! You have the right to the remains of a silent attorney! If you cannot afford one... tough noogies! You can make ONE phone call! I recommend Trixie: 976-Triple 5-LOVE. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?! Well do ya, PUNK?
Rygel: Ten percent of this plan is lunacy, fifty percent of these riches is not enough, one hundred percent of dead is dead.
How not to respond to a beta-reader/reviewer/potential publisher (aka "Bernard's Letter", from Black Books):
Dear Mr Trussington Howell-Foxforthy,
Thank you for returning my manuscript and your enclosed nasty niminy-piminy little note. I am afraid your letter is most unsuitable for me at the present time as I’ve just spent the entire weekend writing the novel that you have summarily rejected. I can only assume that it is company policy to reject all mansucripts not submitted in 10-ft high braille. And yes, I am aware, that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection. But in this, as with all else, I am an innovator. Therefore I may freely address you as pissmidget.
Still, there is time for you to change your views, and I think you will when we meet. And meet we most assuredly will. When I suck out your eyes and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you’ll make as I headbutt you into a fine paste. I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden, violent death.
Yours Faithfully, Bernard Black
Everyone… Everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher. And to do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of genius. “Bernard!” they said. No, Brendan, Brendan, “Brendan” they said. “Congratulations! Here, have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend!”
Donate weapons of mass destruction to me here:
George Orwell's six rules for writers are:
1) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character!
10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame.
11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17. Thou shalt show and not tell.
18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art.
20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. It will also create Minis. Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Aragogs, Mochi Nations - whatever it is, the Mini will hate you.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers
(Borrowed from Annette Hughes, who borrowed it from Lily Winterwood, in hopes of spreading these so desperately needed rules through the fanfiction community for better stories)
And finally, KoT's rule of fanfiction:
When writing a fanfiction that is part of a series (season, if you're an American), state where the fanfiction is in that series. If there is more than one series for something, like Red Dwarf of Farscape, state which series it is.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won't repost it?
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Pinkpelt, Lolita of the Damned, Colonel Bastard, Elena21, Invader Kiwi, KingdomOfThomond
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
93 percent of teenagers and children would go insane if the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus were about to jump off a skyscraper and die. If you are part of the 7 percent that would grab popcorn, a chair, and scream 'JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!', copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: KatakaCandy2429658, Invader Elze, Invader Misty, Invader NAV, Invader Kiwi, KingdomOfThomond
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you think High School Musical was a crappy movie, copy this and paste it in your profile.
If you think child abuse is horrible, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever felt like the Spy is trying to stab you in the back (or worse), copy and paste.
If you frequently look back to see if the Spy is right behind you, copy and paste... and always check your backside.
If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with Team Fortress 2, copy and paste this.
If you are OVERLY obsessed with Team Fortress 2, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a MySpace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks MySpace is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
If you HATE High School Musical with a burning passion, and think those people have no real talent, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you would be absolutely horrified if High School Musical ended up on Broadway, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, Icedragon012990, Night's Fang, StrawberryXThief, Ice Moon Hime, Seengot, elena21, Invader Kiwi, KingdomOfThomond.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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