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Joined 01-25-12, id: 3663045, Profile Updated: 05-15-13
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis.

About Me.

Gender: Girl

Age: I lost count...

Things I love to do: Draw, paint, read, write, sculpt, sing, and confuse people (I'm REALLY good at it!)

Food: CHOCOLATE! And chicken, carrots and various fruits.

Things I can't live without: Oxygen? My iPad, my books, my friends, family and a few others.

Religion: Christian, kind of agnostic.

Questions and Answers

Moon or Sun? Moon, all the way.

Ocean or Mountains? Ocean.

Spelling and grammar? Pretty good, except in Irish, then it's pretty desperate.

What can you live without? Coke and Pepsi, they taste weird. And pizza (don't judge me!).

Summer or Winter? Winter, I really don't like the heat.

How often do I update? Randomly.

Funniest thing you've ever heard? Lots, but one of the best would be the head of NASA saying that there are no dumb questions, then being asked how many moons orbit the earth.

Dislikes?"Battery low" (hate that!), my computer freezing, slow Internet, people wanting to cut my hair, being sick and my muses abandoning me.

To Do list? Finish stories I haven't updated in months.

Hollywood or Bollywood? Both.


Music: Basically anything.

Films: Disney/Pixar (my secret shame!), Mamma Mia!, Les Choristes, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Les Miserables and a whole lotta others.

Books: Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Mortal Instruments, Infernal Devices, anything by Rick Riordan or Dan Brown and many, many more.

TV Shows: House of Anubis, Revenge, The Good Wife, Suburgatory, The Big Bang Theory, Raising Hope., American Horror Story.


House of Anubis.





Victor/Vera (Victor deserves love!)


Harry Potter






Percy Jackson



Heroes of Olympus




Dan Brown


Random Quotes.

"Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...

The Earth began to cool,

The autotrophs began to drool,

Neanderthals developed tools,

We built a wall, (we built the pyramids),

Maths, science, history, unravelling the mysteries

That all started with a big bang. Hey!" - The Big Bang Theory.

"Girls, I know it's Monday and I know it's the first day back. But that's life! Stop looking so glum!" - My maths teacher.

"You're giving up the Internet for Lent? Let me know how that works out for ya." - Random person in the school corridor.

"Oh my God! You guys aren't married!" "Matzel tof!"' - $#*! My Dad Says.

"First time I slept in, I woke up naked in a wheelbarrow." - $#*! My Dad Says.

"Not just a pretty face. Or, as Mr Doyle says to me, not even a pretty face!" - My English teacher.

"Sucking up to me won't spare you from my wrath." - Trauma Team

"Tell me how to make scrambled eggs in a beaker!" - Trauma Team

"Adi, get your strict face on. (Pause). I don't think Adi has a strict face." - My religion teacher

"It's Iran, it's 1972, everyone get your flares on." - My religion teacher

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

"You're a freakin' genius, ya idiot!" - Futurama.

"Whoever's whistling, would they please stop it?" "Miss, it's a bird..." - Maths class.

"Sir, is that phone allergic to good songs?" - Electronics class.


You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' (LOL!)

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you can be socially akward because you never come out of you room because you're always writing. (THANK GOD!)

People think you have A.D.D. (Yep)

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.(Sorta)

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)


You dress like a pirate on Wednesday.

You know what a Sportalian is.

You have a fear of canteen food.

You cry whenever you hear American Pie.

Instead of YMCA, you sing CTYI!

Some of your closest friends live abroad.

You lost the game.

You can't live without The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

You've taken part in a floorgy.

You understood most of this.

(copy this into your profile if you fit one or more of these descriptions.)


If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say, "What was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you make yourself look stupid on a daily basis, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you copy and paste so much that you often have to stop and think about whether or not you've already copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile (many times!!)

If you can read this message, you are blessed beacause over two million people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuoltblvieetaht I cloud aulactly

uesdnatnrdwaht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuanmnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at CmabrigdeUinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in whtoredrltteers in a wrod are, the

olnyiprmoatnttihng is taht the frist and lsatltteer

be in the rghitpclae. The rset can be tatol

mses and you can sitllraed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamnmniddeos not raed

erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyastoghuhtslpeling

was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

is that awesome or what?!


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If you are one of the many writers who believe that your stories should garner more attention then your user page, yet still covers their user page with witticisms, quotes and "copy and paste this onto your profile" items, copy and paste this onto your profile

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

Welcome to the Dark Side. Are you surprised we don't have cookies?

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,

the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,

the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom. . . I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say I'll die in a short time.

I just want to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.

It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here dying, and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave,

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive,

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.

I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

I saw this on another person's profile, and I cried when I read it. Hundreds of people die every day because of DWI. And most of them are teenagers. Shouldn't this stop? This waste of life. Copy and paste this to your profile if you agree.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you",

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have 3 choices:
A) Post this and show you care
B) Ignore it and say crap about it. And I'll know you've got NO HEART
C) Cry and copy this but you never read it again because it make you sad.
Please just copy and post this.

( _ )

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination.

Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?

Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?

Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Curiosity was framed. Stupidity killed the cat.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Silence is golden but ductape is silver

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s a waste of time

Haters are your biggest fans

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the world full of toothless blind people

I did not slap you. I simply high fived your face.

You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.

Why the heck do you have my cookie in your hands? DROP IT NOW!!

Not only do I fall down stairs; I trip up them as well. Now that takes talent!

Hand over the Skittles and no one (painfully) dies.

I didn't fall for you; you tripped me.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab (hurt/duct tape/etc) people for being stupid.

Side by side or miles apart, friends are forever, close to your heart.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

OMG! OMG! OMG!...Wait, I forgot.

Normal people worry me.

It’s great to know your opinion even though no one cares

Teacher: What's the formula for water?
Student: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What made you give a silly answer like that?
Student: Because the formula is H to O

The Five Biggest Lie's I've Ever Told:
1. I'm Fine.
2. Seriously, I don't like anyone.
3. I swear that was my last piece of gum.
4. I have read & agreed to the Terms & Conditions.
5. I left my homework at home, I swear I've done it!

FRIEND: "Did you just fall?"
ME: "No I attacked the ground"
FRIEND: "Backwards?"
ME" "I'm freaking talented!"

Remember When
getting HIGH meant swinging on a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy is COOTIES?
when MOM was your hero?
and DAD was the man you were gonna marry?
and your WORST ENEMIES were your siblings?
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran the fastest?
when WAR was a card game?
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do

Pick the month you were born on...
1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran fully clothed
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I sang with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - I hugged
11 (Nov) - I skipped happily with
12 (Dec) - I bit

Pick the day (number) you were born on...
01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -Rupert Grint
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - BarackObama
15 - Harry Potter
16 - a cat
17 - the president
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - an elephant
27 - a gangsta
28 - parishilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex boyfriend
31 -my lover

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...
White - because I'm sexy like that
Black - because I love nachos
Pink - because I wear pink
Turquoise- because I'm good at Math
brown- because he is ugly
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm happy
Grey - because I have an A in Science
Other - because I'm odd
Green -because that bum stole my taco
Orange - because I still love him
RED- because the gummy bears made me
blue - because I like shoelaces
Tye dye- because I'm a stupid scuba diver
graphic- because I am crazy like that
yellow: because I like noodles

I killed Rupert Grint because I have an A in Science.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *insert harsh word here*!"

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace yourcall. If you are delusional press 7 and yourcallwillbe sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. BEEP!

-Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

-Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

-An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

-I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. (this is so true for me :P)

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

-Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that *insert harsh word here* upside the head.

-I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

-A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Probies headslap each other!

-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

-Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

-We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. (but what if there fighting and kicking each other out when wee not looking o.o scary.)

-I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

-You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

-Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

-Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”

-EMO kids have cool hair.

-If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

-364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, c&p.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally copy and paste.

If people think you are mentally insane... copy and paste.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, doing nothing related to a parent's version of "homework" copy and paste.

If you are addicted to demigods and would like to become one, copy and paste.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character C&P

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste. (Is there a book like that?)

If you dream of killing a character in a book so you can go out with their boyfriend, copy and paste. (YES!!!)

If yoo cant spel too savyoorlyfecpoyadnpstae. (Just kidding, I know yooor has three o's!)

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy and paste(Some people didn't say sorry...)

If you love rain, c&p.

If you are random and don't care, c&p.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you have a post-book comatose state after reading a book and then half an hour later are spouting off random qoutes, character facts and character descriptions to people you know don't give a (inert swear word of choice). If you're crazy, c&p.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, c&p...

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen and Jacob Black are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, quickly email this!!! Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D

My name is May
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is May
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
If you care at all about this poor child, copy and paste, before it's too late..

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces

Silence is golden but ductape is silver

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." Oops.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." Noo!!! It will be cold!!

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." Rip off

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." Space counts right?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)--same the the person that I C&P from

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." NO WAY!

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". Fake pig!? You sick company!

On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping." hm...

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enableyou to fly". Dream killers!

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands". To late.

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

A - AVAILABLE: Not too fussed, to be honest.

B - BIRTHDAY: April.

C - CRUSHING ON: No one at the moment.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: MiWadi Tropical.

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My best friend.

F - FAVOURITE SONG RIGHT NOW: The Fighter - Gym Class Heroes.


H - HOMETOWN: Somewhere in Ireland.

I - IN LOVE WITH: My books and my bed.

K - KILLED SOMEONE: Does my goldfish count?

L - LONGEST CAR TRIP: Wexford to Dublin.


N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: One bratty little sister.

O - ONE WISH: Bigger house.


Q - QUOTE YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE: "This above all: To thine own self be true." - William Shakespeare.

R - REASON TO SMILE: Who needs a reason?

S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: Quarter past seven.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOUR: Wouldn't you like to know. ;)

V - VEGETABLE: Carrots.

W - WORST HABIT: Starting something then not finishing it for ages.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: My ankle.



What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby. (LOVE that one!)

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS: Already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his butt

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you in the process

FRIENDS: Will be embarassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days

BEST FRIENDS: Will be singing along with you

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping with you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are there when you're sitting in a bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you

BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the heck out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts you

FRIENDS: Will tell you they know how you feel

BEST FRIENDS: Will sit down and cry with you

FRIENDS: Ask nicely for your stuff

BEST FRIENDS: Just shout "GIMME" it

FRIENDS: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour

BEST FRIENDS: Will call you at two in the morning

FRIENDS: Won't let you do stupid things

BEST FRIENDS: won't let you do stupid things 'alone'.

FRIENDS: Will take you to buy a pregnancy test

BEST FRIENDS: Will stand outside the bathroom screaming "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

FRIENDS: Will buy you lunch

BEST FRIENDS: Will eat yours

FRIENDS: will come and ask you to get a drink with her if some strange boy grabs you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'.

BEST FRIENDS: Will push herself in between you and the punk, wrap her arms around you, and say. "I'm sorry she's here with me, find your own date."

FRIENDS: Will not try anything that will embarass you while near your crush.

BEST FRIENDS: Will cackle evily and try to push you 'by accident' into him while standing next to him.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Would repost this crud


BEST FRIENDS: Are forever

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a witch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a sissy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling witch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a witch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist. (goth-ish)
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic jerk
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular.

I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST have no female friends.
I'm AGRESSIVE, so I Must be a jerk.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink.

I write FANFICS, so I MUST be a freak.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. "The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever…The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Copy and paste this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Sylizzle.

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal): Green Cat.

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Maria Summit Place

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Kensyman

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, drink): Yellow Tropical

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Ynahlma.

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Maria

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Toki

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong): Apple Experiment.

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory): White Patch

11. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow): SSylvias


You wear lip gloss/chapstick.

You love to shop. (Eh.)

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink (I honestly hate the color pink but I wear it for Breast Cancer awareness.)

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport

You hate wearing the color black. (*scoff* I LOVE the color black!)

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were in gymnastics/dance?

It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. (JOKE!! HAHAHA!)

Like being the star of every thing



You love hoodies.

You love jeans..

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed a xbox 360.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV.

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think

Sports are fun

Talk with food in your mouth

Sleep with your socks on


Quick! Number off 12 House Of Anubis Characters and answer the following questions.

1. Nina

2. Fabian.

3. Eddie.

4. Trudy.

5. Rufus.

6. Patricia.

7. Alfie.

8. Vera.

9. Amber.

10. Jerome.

11. Mara.

12. Victor.

1.Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?


2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

She's quite pretty, in a motherly kind of way.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

That would be interesting...Rufus would have a heart attack. Not to mention the student's reactions, considering they all live in Anubis House.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?


5.Would Two and Six make a good couple?


6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Neither. Rufus is evil and they know it.

7. What would happen if Seven walk in on Two and Twelve making out?

He'd start screaming about aliens posing as them. Actually, that sounds quite plausible...

8. Make up a summary for a Three/10 fic.

No comment.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

No, Nina doesn't trust Vera.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

I'm not sure...

11. If you wrote a songfic bout Eight, what song would you choose?

Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson. I think it's self-explanatory.

12. Eight walks into Ten's room while he/she is changing, what would happened?

Lots of screaming from both of them.

13. Three and Four are fighting, but then Six comes in and brings Three and Four together as a couple.

Trudy: Eddie! Did you make this mess?

Eddie: No! Why do you blame me?

Patricia: Stop arguing! Now admit you love each other!

Trudy and Eddie: What?

14. Five and Nine are talking when Seven runs in between yelling "I love (One)!"

Alfie: I love Nina!

Amber: *slaps Alfie*

Rufus: We were talking here!

Amber: Oh, right. *slaps Rufus*

15. Ten and Two are in the middle of a battle when seven comes flying through screaming "Super (Seven's name)"

Jerome: Nina's mine!

Fabian: No, she's mine!

Alfie: Super Alfie!

Jerome and Fabian: Not now, Alfie!

16. Ten kills Four, Four's last words?

Tell Jasper I love him!

17. What would Two think if Four got One pregnant?

How is that even possible?

18. What would the rest of the people on the list above think if Ten and Six got together?

Most: Well. that was unexpected.

Mara and Eddie: What?!

19. One, two, three, four, five, and Six are fighting when Seven, Eight, Nine,Ten,Eleven and Twelve comes to watch. What happens?

Nina, Fabian, Eddie, Trudy and Patricia are fighting Rufus.

Alfie, Amber, Jerome and Victor help fight Rufus as well.

Vera wonders if she should help Victor or Rufus.

Mara wonders who the heck Rufus is.

20. (Opposite of 19) Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve are fighting when One, Two, Three, Four, Five, and Six come to watch. What happens?

Alfie, Amber, Jerome and Mara are arguing with Victor and Vera.

Rufus tries to drag Vera away to plot.

Trudy tries to diffuse the situation.

Everyone else grabs some popcorn and sits down to watch.

21. "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." Your thoughts?

Nina and Amber are in a happy relationship until Amber runs off with Trudy. Nina, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Mara and a brief unhappy affair with Victor, then follows the wise advice of Rufus and finds true love with Eddie. Yikes...

If you're as mad about the series as I am copy and paste this survey into your profile
then delete my answers and write in your own!
(I did not create this survey)

Question 1: What is your favorite Harry Potter book and why? Least favorite?
Order of the Phoenix because of the pranks on Umbridge. Half-Blood Prince because Dumbledore died.

Question 2: What is your favorite Harry Potter movie and why? Least favorite?
Order of the Phoenix - Same reason as the book.

Half-Blood Prince - Same reason as the book.

Question 3: Who is your favorite character?
Tie between McGonagall and Narcissa Malfoy.

Question 4: Who's Your Favorite Teacher at Hogwarts?

Question 6: Who is your favorite Death Eater (You-Know-Who included)?
Bellatrix Lestrange

Question 7: Who is your favorite Hogwarts Student?

Luna Lovegood

Question 8: What house would you want to be in? Which house do you think you would be sorted into?

Ravenclaw, probably.

Question 9: Would you join the Order or the Death Eaters?
The Order!

Question 10: If you could choose any character to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, who would it be?
One of the Weasley twins.

Question 11: Who would be your best friend?

The Weasley twins.

Question 12: Warner Brothers postponed the release date of the Half-Blood Prince movie to July of 2009. What are your thoughts on this?

WHAT? WHAT?!?!?! WHY MUST YOU KILL ME! Then the movie ended up being my least favorite

Question 13: What is your favorite magical creature?


Question 15: Would you throw Dolores Umbridge into a boiling vat of acid?

Question 16: What character would you dress up as for Halloween?
Umbridge. She'd scare anyone.

Question 17: How did you get your copy of The Deathly Hallows?
Bought it.

Question 18: How did you get into Harry Potter?
I saw the second film on a school tour.

Question 19: What is one memorable experience you have had involving the series?
Halloween film night in the old fort. We watched the third film.

Question 20: Have you ever seen a movie you were not particularly interested in, simply because it had a Harry Potter actor in it?

Question 21: Would you go to Hogwarts, Durmstrang, or Beaubaxtons?

Question 22: What was your favorite Triwizard task?
The Lake!

Question 23: Before you read The Deathly Hallows, what was your opinion of Snape?

There's more to him than meets the eye.

Question 24: Do you read or write fanfiction?
Oh yeah.

Question 25: Which spell do you wish you could use in real life?
ALL OF THEM! But probably Accio because I lose my stuff really easily

Question 26: What position would you play in Quidditch?
Chaser because I have good aim.

Question 27: What was your favorite moment in any of the books?
Narcissa lying to Voldemort.

Question 28: What event in the series did you wish had happened differently?

That Fred and Dobby didn't die

Question 29: Would you join the DA?
You even have to ask?

Question 30: Do you think You-Know-Who has EVER had a girlfriend?

No. Who'd want to date a psycho?

Question 31: What name from the series would you be willing to change your own name to?

Question 33: What would your pet be?
An owl. Or a snake.

Question 34: If you could belong to any family in the series, which would it be?
Weasleys would be fun.

Question 35: Which Hallow would you most like to have?
Invisibility Cloak.

Question 36: What is your favorite horcrux?
The diary.

Question 37: Ever seen Potter Puppet Pals

Question 38: What would your patronus be?
A raven.

Question 39: What would be your animagus form?
A raven.

Question 40: Who is your favorite Marauder?

Question 41: If you went to Diagon Alley, where would you go first?
Flourish and Blotts.

Question 42: Favorite member of the Black family?
Sirius or Narcissa.

Question 43: Favorite member of the Weasley family?
Fred and George!

Question 44: Who should have won the Triwizard Cup?
Um, Harry Obviously

Question 46: (insert actor here) should totally play (insert character here).
Pat Shortt should totally play Mundungus Fletcher.

Question 47: What would you wear to the Yule Ball?
A lilac and black sleeveless gown.

Question 48: How many times have you read the series?

Lost count.

Question 49: Who is your favorite couple?

Don't make me choose!

Question 50: Did you like this survey?
It's alright.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

It's a beautiful day... Now watch some idiot screw it up.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence at something that happened yesterday.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

"Odd how easily you can forget your hand is on fire"

Pandas are awesome because they aren't racist. They're black, white, and Asian.

Fan-Fiction: Because sometimes the author screws up, and things need to be fixed.

The world can't end in 2012, because City of Heavenly Fire doesn't come out until 2014.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.


If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever snuck on fan fiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, say, your homework, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, (250!? I've read a 750 in less than one day!) copy and paste this into your profile

If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, (two days (holla!)) copy and paste this on your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would sigh and say: "where to begin?"

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone for no apparent reason but know you'll find one later copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who needs to get run over, copy and paste this into your profile.

Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight or stairs. If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me. If this saying applies to you, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you know all the words to your favorite song/songs copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

What sweet little girls are made of: Sunflowers and bows. What awesome little girls are made of: Gun powder and lead. Copy this if you’re awesome.

If you screamed like a little kid when you found out a Mortal Instruments movie was coming out, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a computer addict, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a thing for pasting things on your profile, paste this on your profile

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on copy and paste this into your profile.

If your a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you believe that since weird means different, and different means unique, that being weird is good, copy this into profile.

If you are afraid to show who you really are, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a crush on 1 or more fictional characters, paste this on your profile.(you know who you are ;D)

If you've ever fallen off your chair in school, put this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If people say you read too much, copy this into your profile.

If you would kill to have super powers, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. (ALL OF THE ABOVE)


So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and alot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Lovesong - Adele. (I'm not romantic, but whatever)

Waking Up: Mad - NeYo. (I hate early mornings)

First Day At School: Heartbreaker - (It's an all girls school...)

Falling In Love: Forever - Chris Brown. (Fair enough.)

Fight Song: Knock 123 - Imelda May. (Unless it's a fight with my boyfriend)

Breaking Up: The Promise - Girls Aloud. (Fail.)

Prom night: Big Bad Handsome Man - Imelda May. (Apt, I suppose)

Life: Pass Out - Tinie Tempah. (No comment.)

Mental Breakdown: Wild About My Lovin' - Imelda May. (What?)

Driving: Can't Get Over - September. (Hmm..)

Flashback: Fat Bottomed Girls (Glee Cast Version) - Mark Salling. (Okay...That's a bit weird.)

Getting back together: Light Up The World - Glee Cast. (Alright.)

Wedding: Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons. (Okay.)

Birth of Child: Pjanoo - Eric Prydz. (Well it is a happy occasion.)

Final Battle: Just Can't Get Enough - The Saturdays. (Odd song to sing during a battle.)

Funeral Song: Hollywood - Marina & The Diamonds. (I did want to be an actress.)

Final Credits: I Know Him So Well - Susan Boyle & Geraldine McQueen. (Aw, sad.)


Play an instrument?: No, but I sing.

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: No

Like to sing?: Yes, people say I have a good voice but I'm not so sure.

Have a job?: I watch my mother's shop sometimes.

Have a cell phone?: Yep.

Like to play sports?: Basketball, nutsack, maybe badminton.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.

Have a crush on someone?: Sorta

Live somewhere NOT in the United States?: Yes.

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: No, 4.

Have any special talents/skills?: Does an IQ of 148 count?

Exercise daily?: Yes.

Like school?: Depends on the day.


Say the alphabet backwards?: I've been doing it since I was 2.

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: No.

Speak any other languages?: Some Irish and French and I know a few words of Latin, Ancient Greek, Spanish, Italian and Russian, not enough to make a sentence.

Go a day without food?: I did it for a blood test before.

Remember your dreams: Yes.

Read music, not just tabs?: Not well.

Roll your tongue?: No.

Eat a whole pizza?: Not a hope.


Won something in the lottery?: Yes.

Snuck out of the house?: No.

Lied to get out of trouble?: I've tried.

Had a computer crash?: Yes! Grrr.

Gotten lost in your city?: No, it's a village, pretty impossible to get lost.

Seen a shooting star?: Yep.

Been to any other countries?: Yep.

Had a serious surgery?: Does eye surgery count?

Stolen something important to someone else?: No.

Solved a rubiks cube?: Couldn't be bothered.

Gone out in public in your pajamas?: Yes.

Cried over a boy?: No

Kissed a random stranger?: Nope

Hugged a random stranger?: She hugged me.

Been in a fist fight?: No.

Been arrested?: No.

Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: It was Fanta.

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: Nah.

Sneaked into the opposite sex's bathroom?: I accidentally went in, the signs had fallen off the doors.

Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: Yes.

Swore at your parents?: No.

Kicked a guy where it hurts?: No.

Been to a casino?: No.

Ran over an animal and killed it?: No.

Broken a bone?: I came pretty close.

Gotten stitches?: Nope.

Had a water balloon fight in winter?: No.

Made homemade muffins?: Yeah...

Bitten someone?: No.

Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: No.

Burped in someone’s face?: No, it's rude.

Favorite HoA quotes:

"I will not give up; On Sarah, the quest, and certainly not on you." (Fabian Rutter, House of Anubis)

"Leave Her!" Fabian

"Didn't you use to be Mara?" Jerome

"I got it! Get a different face!" Alfie

"Where's Joy!?" Patricia

"It's ten o'clock! You all know what that means! You have five minutes precisely, then I want to hear a pin...drop!" Victor

"It's basically-the apocalypse!" Trudy

"Soon, you'll all be saying the Pledge of Allegiance" Nina

"But this is my signed copy of The Solar System is Your Friend!" Fabian

"I did not tell you creep!" Jerome


"I'm intrigued and completely frightened at the same time." Mara

"You think I'm a genius!?" Amber

"I think the coming to life." Nina

"Why are you dressed as a duck?"
"I'm a canary."
"Oh,sorry,a canary dressed as a duck."

"What's with the stupid chicken outfit?"Fabian,Amber,Fabian,Mara

"Are you mad?!"
"Yeah, quite possibly." Sweetie and Rufus

"Fancy a bite?" Alfie

"...Girls in bikinis..." Jerome

"Falls off his chair in amazement (then actually does it)." Alfie

"Fabian! You're a genius! I love you!" Nina

"Alfie Lewis, champion of the earth! We're doomed." Patricia

"I ordered a doll's dress?"Amber, Jerome's impression(which was SO much funnier)

"Dar dare,dardar dis dall?"Alfie with his wolf mask describing Joy

"Sibooboo..." Alfie

"Will you go to the prom with me?"
"Yes. YES?!"
"YES!!!" Fabian and Nina

"And you didn't pee your pants, so bonus..." Patricia

"NO! She's the Ice Queen! Icy Queen of Ice!" Jerome

"Welcome to "We-Love-Mara Land" Population: Jerome!" Alfie

"I've got my pin, and its ready to drop!" Trudy

"What are you doing miss Martin." Fabian

"Cruelty, thy name is Amber..." Jerome

"The Bible says always come prepared."
"Amber, thats the Boy scouts." Amber and Fabian

"Speak of the Devil. Literally, I'm surprised my phone didn't burst into flames..." Jerome

"And the plot thickens, as they say." Jerome

"I'm not scared of you!"
"We were thinking more about Rufus."
"Him I'm scared of." Jerome and Patricia

"Hello Victor, Sweetie here."
"HAHA! That was terrible!You need to work on your accent!" Fabian and Nina

"I hate it when the house talks..." Amber

"Toilet Duty. That's like five times this term." Alfie

"Tut tut, Fabian, tut tut." Amber

"I thought I was going to prom with Fabian...AHA!" Patricia

"You genius, genius, genius girl, you!" Fabian

"Mick's a meat-head." Jerome

"It's...girly stuff...that girls use...I can be really...girly at times..." Patricia

"Weird taste in films you got..." Nina

"Rufus! Ever heard of a phone?" Jerome

"Even Harry Potter didn't go till he was eleven..." Mara

"You got it!" "
"Got what?"
"Looks, brains, charm, everything you don't have Jerome." Nina, Jerome, and Fabian

"It would be the American, wouldn't it?" Jerome

"Adorable, now I'm starving!" Patricia

"Indeed you do Alfie, indeed you do!" Jerome

"Amber what's witht the cloves of garlic? This isn't twilight!" Fabian

"You wanted to be school rep, so I made sure you were. Welcome to politics!" Mick

"You're insane."
"Very observant, now go." Jason and Rufus.

"Curiouser and curiouser..." Jason

"Yes, you listen to this old man, Nina!" Victor.

"My feelings for you have always been genuine."

"As were mine." Vera and Victor.

"It pains me to admit it, but I think this task is more suited to the young and nimble." Victor.

"And to my worthless son. Tell him..that I am sorry, and that I was the worthless one after all." Victor Sr.

Jerome: AH!! Alfie, don't do that... *looks at Alfie's outfit* If you're lost, the 80's are that way.
Alfie: It's for Amber. New term. New girlfriend. New Alfie!

Phone Rings*
Mick: Whos Poopy?
Jerome: Uh... my... life coach...

Alfie: Once upon a time there was a poor boy named Alfredo who fell in love with a beautiful but very choosy princess. The princess made Alfredo a promise, but...
Amber: I did not promise.

Alfie: Do you think she'd prefer flowers, or an adoption certificate for a baby vulture?
Jerome: ...If you don't know the answer to that, you're going to be single forever.

Amber: I tried to make myself dream about Justin Bieber once, except it wasn't Justin Bieber, it was just a beaver. *makes beaver buck tooth face* I put that down to a brain typo.
Nina: Amber... What are you talking about?
Amber: Why what are you talking about?
Nina: Dreams.
Amber: Me too!

Jerome: I refuse to be blackmailed by you anymore. Do your worst.
Poppy: Fighting talk. You've got sass Clarke. I like that. See ya later, LOSAH.

Mick: What, uh... is that a photo?"
Jerome: What photo?
Mick: Well the one you're holding and I'm pointing at.
Jerome: This is a... picture of... my girlfriend.
Mara: You've had a... girlfriend?
Jerome: Yeah I... she dumped me like a shoe I can't stand the sight of her...

Mick: Is that.. Jerome?
Patricia: He makes a real pretty lady.

Jerome: Do the crime, and pay the fine!
Mara: Jerome! Why do you have to be so mean?
Poppy: And tall!

Alfie: He's got a sister?
Fabian: Poppy? Yeah she started this term.
Mara: Why is Jerome so secretive about everything?
Patricia: I know, I mean who keeps a sister a secret? Weird...
Nina: Not as weird as Jerome in a dress.
Alfie: I can't believe it! I tell him everything! Even some things I definitely should have held back, like my fear of red doors and olives...

Jerome: Get your sticky mitts off my stuff, now!

Jerome: Don't push it Poopy.

Mara: You are nothing but a big bully Jerome Clarke.
Jerome: Mara, I do love it when you talk me up.
Mara: Poppy just wants to read the letter. She is your sister.
Jerome: She is a robot sent from the future to ruin my life.
Mara: Please? For me?
Jerome: ...Jaffray, I can deny you nothing. Okay, she can see it but... do not be taken in by her. I trained this girl myself.

Amber: Ouch... Matching tattoos right before the breakup?
Nina: It's the Mark of Anubis. It means we have to find the Mask of Anubis for this Egyptian spirit.
Amber: So far, so Sibuna.
Nina: If we don't... We forfeit our lives...
Amber: Eh well, at least it's not like you're gonna die or anything.
Fabian: Amber! That's what forfeit our lives means.

Jerome: Where's Jaffray? Joy had to take over her speech tut, tut.
Mick: She was dumping me at the time...
Jerome: *smiles when Mick looks away* ...Must be really hard for you.
Mick: I just don't understand her reasons. I mean I thought she really liked me.
Jerome: Well, I mean you've still got Australia, right? See ya later, crocodile dandy!
Mick: Maybe I should talk to her again first.
Jerome: Bad idea. You do not want to seem desperate.
Trudy: Oh Mick! You're missing all the fun! Have a bun. Ha!
Mick: *takes bun* ...Yay...
Trudy: Yay!
Jerome: I'll tell you what. I'll talk to her for you. Mara listens to me and if she's got doubts, I'll know.
Mick: I can't believe you're being so sympathetic.
Jerome: Mr. Sympathetic, that's me... You're not eating that? *takes Mick's bun*

Jerome: I tried Mick, I really tried.
Mick: What did she say?
Jerome: It's bad, she started using your name in the past tense.
Mick: What does that even mean?
Jerome: It means she thinks the sooner you move half way around the world, the better.

Fabian: 'Today I saw a cloud that looked like a Sphinx. What a joy it is to be alive' ...This is so boring.
Nina: If I read any more my eyes are gonna fall out.

Jerome: So, uh pop quiz. Is it just coincidence that you broke up with Mick at exactly the right moment to make him follow his dreams?
Mara:...Pass. My turn. When are you going to help Poppy track down your dad? She needs you.
Jerome: Pass.
Mara: Your dad clearly has stuff he needs to say to you.
Jerome: I should be taking notes, you're clearly the authority on honesty.
Mara: ...Me and Mick is nothing to do with you. Oh, and another thing. Yeah, maybe I am interfering, but I just want to stop you from doing something you'll regret. *walks away*
Mick: Mara! *looks at Jerome* What did you say to her Clarke?
Jerome: Me?! I'm the one who just got slammed! But I guess you know how that feels.

Victor: I must prepare for the arrival of the exhibition, so if you have nothing of any consequence to say!
Fabian: N-no. W-w-w-wait! Y-y-y-yes! I-I do. Victor it's party time!...Forrrr he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow. That's right Victor it's party time!
Victor: I did not authorize any party.
Trudy: Uh, bit early Fabian. We're not ready yet!
Fabian: No time like the present Trudy WOO surprise!
Everyone: Surprise!!!

Joy: The guy you've been waiting for since forever is waiting for you. I know I just couldn't sit here.
Patricia: Okay, I give you both permission to slap me, if I ever get like this over a boy... Actually I'm good. I can slap myself.

Jerome: Poppy Clarke. You will never make a cat burglar.

Jerome: I promised Poppy a P.I., a P.I. she must have.
Mara: Have you found anyone yet?
Jerome: I made a short list but uh, I'm meeting one of them this afternoon.
Mara: See?
Jerome: What?
Mara: You do care about your sister. Deep dow-
Jerome: No, no, no. No. I just have a reputation to preserve, that's all. I get things done, and I never ever compromise.
Mara: So which P.I. are you meeting?
Jerome: The cheapest!

Mrs. Andrews: Ah Joy. A word. Uh, I'm worried about your schooling. Thanks to your um... absence, during last years unfortunate interruption, you have fallen a little behind.
Joy: That kind of was your fault Mrs. Andrews.
Mrs. Andrews: Never the less, I want you to have a tutoring partner.
Joy: What a study buddy?

Roper: Pete Roper. Private I. Gimme a fiver.
Jerome: You... weren't exactly what I was expecting.
Roper: No?... Big hair. Bad attitude. You're exactly what I was expecting... So? Lost someone?
Mara: Are you even a real private investigator?
Roper: Rule one- Don't question me, don't question my methods.
Mara: That's two rules...
Roper: Yeah... Rule three- Don't answer back.
Jerome: Are you making these rules up as you go along?
Roper: Rule four- Refer to rule one... Now, do you want me to find your lost property or not?
Jerome: I guess.

Nina: R-E-B-T-R-O. Rebtro.
Fabian: I don't get it.

Vera: Victor?... What an impressive cellar!
Fabian: What's he doing?
Nina: Flirting. I think I just heard Victor... chuckle.
Fabian: Awww maybe he's in love? *laughs*

Jerome: You said you had some good news for me?
Roper: That's right. Pretty easy to track down in the end.
Jerome: Really?
Roper: Yeah. Got the address. Hung around. Rifled through the trash. *hands Jerome a bag* Pretty juicy stuff in there. Oh! Careful with that one, it's got cat food on it. At least, uh, I think it's cat food... Now, here's the address, and um, that's her photo.
Jerome: That... is my mother... I know where she lives because OH YEAH I live there too!
Roper: So why did you ask me to find her?
Jerome: I didn't!
Roper: Here's the piece of paper you gave me, Joan Clarke.
Jerome: ... John. It says John Clarke!
Roper: ... That was never an H.
Jerome: You're fired!

Fabian: It was taken out.
Nina: Oh no!
Fabian: But not that long ago... by someone called... DABed?
Nina: Is that some quirky British name I haven't heard before?

Joy: He misses study buddy sessions to spend more time with Nina, and yet he's writing me poems.
Patricia: Joy it didn't have your name on it.
Joy: Ah, see, I see your mouth moving, but I'm just not listening!

Jerome: Yeah... Come in.
Poppy: Oh... Hiii... Are you and the Gerbil an item now?
Jerome and Mara: No.
Poppy: ... Ooh...

Jerome: I need a way of raising money fast- Alfie, Alfie, Alfie! Brainstorm, okay? First thing that comes into your head, and-
Alfie: Donkey.
Jerome: ... Donkey?
Alfie: You wanted the first thing that came into my head. Trust me, it's better than the second thing.
Jerome: How does donkey, help me think of an idea... Donkeys! Yes! Alfie this may be your best idea yet.
Alfie: Yesss.

Patricia: Stick your feet in will you.
Eddie: You woke me.
Patricia: Yeah well student lounges are for lounging, not sleeping. Clue's in the name.
Eddie: Okay. I was on a plane for 8 hours, and then I was on a train for 4 more, and now I'm in Boresville UK and don't need a lecture. Okay Hermoine?
Joy: *Gasp*
Patricia: Great that's all we need, another patronizing American who's only reference to the UK is Harry Potter. Who are you anyway?
Eddie: Who are you?
Patricia: I asked first.
Eddie: Really?
Patricia: Next time you trip somebody up, remember it's considered polite to apologize in this country.
Eddie: Do you ever stop talking? I should call you Blabs. Or Yacker. Aaaah, Yacker.
Patricia: And maybe I should call you, a cab back to the airport.
Eddie: *clapping* Devastating.
Patricia: As much as I'd love to stand here trading stereo types, I think I'm gonna go hang somewhere else. Come on Joy.
Joy: ... He's pretty cute, isn't he?
Patricia: Pfft, he likes to think he is.

Sweetie: What on earth...?
Jerome: Donkeys, Mr. Sweet! Poor, innocent, mistreated donkeys. Look at Eureka here, his poor, neglected face. His sanctuary badly needs new facilities, like stables, and, better hats.
Sweetie: Jerome, what is it you want?
Jerome: I want permission to run Donkey Day, Mr. Sweet. All the money raised on the day will be going to a very good cause.
Alfie: Yeah. Very good cause pft.

Jerome: Hey. New boy. I put your name down for a donkey day challenge.
Eddie: Pfft, what about you? I see you asking everybody else but not doing a lot yourself.
Alfie: He has got a point Jerome.
Jerome: Who's side are you on?
Eddie: I'll agree to do a donkey challenge if you do.
Jerome: Okay.
Eddie: Excellent. I get to pick the challenge.
Jerome: Hang on-
Eddie: Ah eh. Donkey diner. If you can eat 3 gallons of creamed carrot, I will personally sponsor you 100 dollars.
Jerome: ... 100 dollars?
Eddie: 150 then. Deal?
Jerome: Done.
Alfie: Who is this guy?
Patricia: Hey Jerome. I still don't have a partner for the Wonky Donkey.
Jerome: Yes you have! It's Eddie!
Patricia: Him?!
Eddie: Me?
Jerome: You'll bond! See, Donkey Day is already bringing people together!

Mara: Jerome!
Jerome: Mara!
Mara: What's going on?
Roper: He's paying his debts, love. That's what.
Mara: Is that donkey money?
Roper: ... Better not be.
Mara: I knew it! Donkey Day is just one big scam isn't it?
Jerome: Mara, I can explain-
Mara: How could you do it to those sick donkeys? Do you want to end up like your dad?
Jerome: There are no sick donkeys Mara...
Mara: ... Well find some then! Or I let the donkey out of the bag!

Mara: About time.
Amber: You try walking with an Alfie strapped to your leg!
Mara: No thanks...

Jerome: You did check whether this creamed carrot could kill me right?
Alfie: Yeah. It can't kill you. It could poison you.
Jerome: I'm sorry what?
Alfie: It's called Carrotinosis, you don't die, you just, turn orange. That's good right?
Jerome: How is that in any way good Alfie?!
Alfie: If scientists had bothered to give it a proper medical name, they probably developed a cure too... Probably.
Jerome: *Stands up to leave*
Mara: DO IT for those poor little donkeys!
Jerome: What about poor little me!
Alfie: Just... imagine it's a milkshake, a carrot flavored milkshake.
Jerome: That's not helping Alfie.

Amber: I broke my nail.
Eddie: Go sisterhood!

Amber: Sorry! Sorry! No shoe gets left behind!

Amber: You know what pink Power Ranger would do. She'd long jump it. Or pull-point it. Or would she javelin it?
Fabian: Amber, you're just listing sports.
Nina: How many more traps are there gonna be between us and the mask? Ten? A hundred?
Amber: A thousand! I hundred thousand! A million!
Fabian: Amber! Now you're just listing big numbers.
Amber: Yeah... Sorry. I list things when I get anxious.

Roper: Has anybody seen Jerome Clarke? He owes me money. Jerome Clarke, he's a tall kid with mad hair!

Jerome: Gather round, gather round everyone! I have for your selection the finest array of masks for the up and coming ball. All of them reasonable prices. Not a single mask here that wouldn't make your face look more intriguing, mysterious and charming.
Alfie: *picks up monster mask* Aw, this one's mine.
Jerome:... except that one.
Amber: Alfie you can't wear that mask, my dress isn't green, and you're not eight.
Alfie: Amber-
Eddie: *cough*whipped*cough*
Nina: *walks over to Fabian with a mask on*
Fabian: It's perfect.
Nina: But I don't have anything to wear it with. I mean with everything that's been going on I haven't had any time to-
Jerome: Hello Nina. I couldn't help overhearing. Now, I am not only the belayer of fine masks, but of fine dresses to go with them. Reasonable prices.
Fabian: *laughing* A dress you chose, Jerome? I don't think so.
Mara: Oh, they are pretty. I've seen the one he sold Joy.
Joy: It's true I look amazing.
Mara:... He's working really hard to pay off the debt, so...
Nina: Oh, okay.
Jerome: *brings over dress* I promise you will love it. But, try before you buy, because I do have a no returns policy.
Nina: *takes dress*... Thank you Jerome. *leaves*
Alfie: Dude isn't that the same dress you sold Joy? They're gonna look exactly the same.
Jerome: Individuality is over rated.

Amber: *watching Fabian and Nina kiss* Wow!... Alfie, why can't you be more like that?
Alfie:... Like Fabian?!
Amber: I know, see what you just made me say?!

Amber: In your version of the dream, did you two get kissy-kissy?

Eddie: How does it feel to have your life in my hands?
Patricia: I'd feel safer on the deck of the Titanic. *falls off latter*
Eddie: *catches her* I knew you'd fall for me.
Patricia: Get off me slime ball!
Eddie: Sure thing! *drops her*
Patricia: Hey!

Eddie: Dude, you play hopscotch?
Fabian: I guess so?
Eddie: What a chump.
Patricia: He's got two girls, desperate to hang out with him. Who's the chump.

Fabian: I got it! I think I might be a-
Jerome: A little girl!

Fabian: Alright let's do this before I lose anymore street cred.
Amber: Oh Fabian, like you have any to lose.

Jerome: I can't believe I have to wear this whilst everyone else gets to dress up!
Alfie: Look at the bright side, at least no one else will be dressed up as a mummy. Unlike Nina and Joy who will be wearing the same dress!
Jerome: *cracking up* Yeah! That is a bright side.
Alfie: Aren't you worried?
Jerome: What that someone else is gonna come dressed as a mummy?
Alfie: No. Nina and Joy. You should have told them.
Jerome: They should have asked, Alfie. They should have asked.

Amber: I'm impressed.
Fabian: I messed up?
Amber: No I mean I had no idea you could do push-ups.

Joy: See? Dramatic entrances.
Jerome: It doesn't feel dramatic...
*Nina and Fabian walk in and Nina and Joy see they have the same dress*
Joy: Are you kidding me? Jerome you said this dress was one of a kind!
Nina: He told me the same thing!
Jerome: Okay see now it's dramatic. Girls, girls, I can explain. Before I do I have to- *walks out door*
Nina and Joy: Jerome! Jerome!
Jerome: *Comes back* I can explain, but, before I do, may I please introduce Mrs. Andrews?
*Mrs. Andrews walks in with the same dress*
Mrs. A, Nina, and Joy: Jerome!

Jerome: You went behind my back! I would expect this from her, but you?!
Mara: I'm sorry Jero-
Jerome: Spare me!

Joy: I'm sure deep down he knew it was me.
Patricia: Uh, no he didn't know it was you.
Joy: Well how do you know?
Patricia: Because boys don't have a 'deep down'.

Amber: It's time to get the gang back together!!!

Mara: Jerome I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interfere. It just meant so much to Poppy!
Jerome: He wants me to go and visit him.
Mara: Is that bad?
Jerome: No! How could meeting my strange father in prison be bad? Yeah I'd say it's not good.
Mara: But-
Jerome: I need to think about it. Maybe, I don't know. In the mean time, I'd appreciate you not telling any of that to Poppy. I mean it Mara! You owe me that much.
Mara: *nods*

Eddie: What, were you sneaking off to play hopscotch?
Fabian: Actually, the reason I'm never in our room at night is because of the awful music you play and the volume you play it at.
Patricia: Sick Puppies? Awful? Eddie's the only one around here with any taste.
*everyone stares at her*
Alfie: *to Eddie* Oh you're good.
Patricia: Good at what?
*no one answers*
Patricia: Good at what?
Jerome: Eddie bet us he could get you to dance. I really thought you'd hold out longer.
Eddie: Good at ruining things.
Joy: Is that why you were singing She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain?
Alfie: Uh, murdering She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain.
Patricia: *to Eddie* You cockroach. *Get's up and slowly walks around the table and pours milk on Eddie's head*

Alfie: So what's this all about? I mean, there can't be more Cups of Ankh, can there?

Patricia: So why don't you just tell the Egyptian chic to go get the mask her self?
Fabian: Because she has no physical form.
Patricia: So tell her to bug off.

Alfie: Do you think Amber and I are... Compatible?
Jerome: I don't think anyone's compatible with Amber. Except, Amber.

Mara: Have you made your decision about visiting him yet? Maybe if you just went and saw him-
Jerome: I'm going there now.
Mara: What? You weren't going to tell me?
Jerome: Look, I didn't want to tell you in case I chickened out. I mean what do you say to a man in prison. Let alone your father. 'How's your roomie? Food good? What's the gossip in the yard?'
Mara: Jerome...
Jerome: Yeah.
Mara: Would you like me to come with you? Calm you. You know, for moral support.
Jerome: Yeah. But you still can't mention any of this to Poppy.
Mara: Jerome.
Jerome:... okay.

Alfie: Amber we need to talk. I wanna break up with you!
Amber:... No.
Alfie: What?!
Amber: No. See you in class!

John: ... Jerome.
Jerome: ... John.
John: Not ready to call me 'dad' then...
*long silence*
Mara: ...Hello. I'm Mara.
John: Oh, h-hello, I'm John. Lovely to meet you. Y-You're Jerome's girlfriend, are you?
Mara: Oh no. No we're not.
Jerome: She's not my girlfriend...
John: Oh...
Jerome: ...So what now...?
John: I know I've not been the best of dads-
Jerome: Darth Vader has nothing on you.
John: But, I want to try and put things right. That's if you'll let me, Jerome.
Mara: Jerome?
Jerome: ...It's too late. I thought I'd be okay, but I'm not. Who does he think he is?
John: Jerome-
Jerome: No! Do not tell me what to do! My dad left years ago. And now it's my turn to leave. See if you like it! *Walks away*
Jerome: Open the door.
Mara: Jerome. Let him spe-
Jerome: No! I do not care what he has to say!
Mara: If you really thought that, you wouldn't have come in the first place.

John: Thank you... for, not walking out... You know, there's not been one single day in here that I haven't thought about you and Poppy. Not one. I was afraid. Afraid you wouldn't want to know me. L-Look at you! You got so tall!
Mara: It's mostly hair.
John: A-A-And what about Poppy? Is she still so, strong willed like she used to be?
Jerome: A dog with a Frisbee.
John: *laughs*... thank you so much for coming.
Man: Time.
John: Already. We've got so much to talk about. Y-You'll be back? I assume?
Jerome: ... I'll be back.
John: You'll bring Poppy with you?
Jerome: We'll see. Not too soon.
Mara: It was nice to meet you Mr. Clarke.
John: Oh uh and you Mara. Um, for what it's worth I think you two look great together! ...Listen, Jerome. If you do come back alone next time, there's something important I want to talk to you about. Uh, Jerome... It looks like you're growing up to be just the man I always wanted you to be.

Nina: Okay... turn around Patricia. Don't move! Just turn. Around.
Patricia: Nina! Make sense!

Patricia: What's wrong with you two?
Alfie: We broke up.
Amber: No we didn't!

Fabian: Patricia you are A. Nina you are B. Amber, you are C. And Alfie you are D.
Amber: Wait... am I U, R, or C?
Fabian: *laughing* C.

Amber's diary: How could a man with such perfectly groomed facial hair be so horrid?

Jerome: *pulls out flowers*
Mara: *smiles and takes flowers* ...Wait, if I smell these is water going to squirt in my face?
Jerome: No! They're for being a rock. I could not have visited my dad without you.
Mara: Yes you could. BUT, I'm keeping these!
*Jerome and Mara hug*
Mara: *looks worried for a second*
Jerome: What's wrong? Allergic? They do have plastic ones.
Mara: I'm... worried about Poppy.
Jerome: You want me to tell her?
Mara: It's only fair.
Jerome: I can't... Not yet.
Mara: But why?
Jerome: I can't tell you-
Mara: You can't tell me, fine!
Poppy: *walks over* Hey.
Mara: Hey!
Jerome: Poppy.
Poppy: What are the flowers for?
Mara: They're from Jerome. To say thank you for letting him borrow my hair straightener.

Jerome: What is the matter with you today? Why are you so jumpy?
Alfie: Do you ever get flashbacks from past traumatic experiences?
Jerome: Well frequently. Bad hairstyles and past girlfriends mostly. Is that what this is about? Amber?
Alfie: No I had a bad dream last night. Suffering about stuff from last year.
Jerome: Oh that. Hey, that's all behind us now buddy. We're not in some obsurd life threatening situation anymore. So you can relax. Yeh?
Alfie: Uh-huh.

Mara: Jerome. Hi.
Jerome: Hi.
Mara: Sorry I got mad with you before.
Jerome: It's fine, really.
Mara: What you tell your sister is your business.
Jerome: Thank you.
Mara: And, if you don't want to tell me the big top secret reason why you won't tell her about your dad, then, you don't have to.
Jerome: Okay then.
Mara: I won't ask...
Jerome: Good.
Mara:... Why won't you tell me!?
Jerome: Okay! Between you and me- strictly- he wants me to come back and visit him next time, alone. Insisted. He said that he wants me to do something top secret for him and...
Mara: And...?
Jerome: Not without risks. To use his words.
Mara: Well. That doesn't sound too bad. If it wasn't for-
Jerome: The fact that he's a convicted criminal, yeah.
Mara: When are you going to see him?
Jerome: Today after school.
Mara: Jerome, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Even if he is your dad.
*Jerome walks away*

Victor: 20-20 again Corbiere. Good. I can see a pin drop.

Jerome: What are you doing here?
Poppy: Uh I don't know, seeing my dad maybe?
John: Kids-
Jerome: You snuck into my room. You went through my stuff!
Poppy: Our stuff Gerbil, that letter was for me too you know!
John: Poppy-
Jerome: Misfit.
Poppy: Mutant.
*Jerome snaps in Poppy's face* *Poppy smacks his face*
Jerome: OW!
*Poppy and Jerome start smacking each other*
John: KIDS!
*They stop fighting*
John: ...That's... the first time in a long time, I felt like a real dad!

Amber: There's bugs Alfie. Bugs. You know I don't do bugs."
Alfie: Okay? So...?
Amber: You're my boyfriend! You should volunteer to go in for me!
Alfie: We broke up... We broke up. We broke up! We broke up!
Amber: ...I will decide when we break up.

Alfie: Hey little guy... Why don't you just go that way.
Nina: Who are you talking to?
Alfie: My real friends!

John: So, Poppy. Is Jerome keeping you out of trouble?
Poppy: Jerome can't keep himself out of trouble.
Jerome: Shut it Poopy.
Poppy: He's the school prankster.
John: Really?
Jerome: She's showing off.
John: Relax, being the school prankster is not what led me in... to... well, it's not how I ended up here. I was devastated when I had to leave that school...

Joy: That's one serious sandwich.
Eddie: It's a hoagie.
Joy: What's that in there?
Eddie: Spaghetti bolognese. I invented it.
Joy: Oh Eddie, someone already invented spaghetti bolognese.
Eddie: I put it on a sandwich. *bites sandwich and then holds out to Joy*
Joy: Oh, no thank you... So what's going on with you and Patricia then? You know the dancing, the put-downs. Come on spill, have you got a thing for her or what?
Eddie: What'd she say?
Joy: Nothing.
Eddie: Nothing?!
Joy: Wow you really need to learn to play it cooler... Oh, and you've got boy sandwich all over your mouth.
Eddie: It's a hoagie!

Mara: Jerome. How'd it go? Did your dad mention the thing?
Jerome: Poppy was there.
Mara: What?
Jerome: She found the letter. DON'T say 'I told you so.'
Mara: Okay. I warned you so.
Jerome: He did mention the thing, but he couldn't tell me what it was in front of Poppy.
Mara: That's weird.
Jerome: I know, definitely need to go alone next time.
Mara: Pity.
Jerome: Why? You miss me?
Mara: No I mean... You're family now, you should all be together.
Jerome: Right...

Amber: You never know. Victor might suddenly become all nice, and...
*everyone stares at her*
Amber: What? Could happen.
Fabian: Sure. Right after Patricia becomes a guidance counselor.
Patricia: *laughing* Like that's gonna happen!

Mara: He just makes me want to scream. He's so unprofessional!
Patricia: I disagree. He's totally professional... at being a jerk! He's practically my nemesis... I'll share him if you like!
Mara: I think I'd like that.
Patricia: But Mara, the thing about having nemesis-es-es... Nemesa...? Okay! The thing about having arch enemies, is, you have to constantly think up amazing ways to get revenge on them.
Mara: Oh I definitely like that.

Jerome: Rutter, you spend an unhealthy amount of time in the library-
Fabian: No! A normal amount I would say.
Jerome: Would you?... Anyway, have you ever noticed an old suit of armor whilst you were nerding out?
Fabian: Uh, nerding out, thank you!

Patricia: Awwwwww Victor in his pajamas!
Amber: Uch, I may actually throw up.

Victor: Vera! Vera, would you please fetch me some soothing skin lotion?

Alfie: Hey dude. Robbing a bank?
Jerome: Not tonight, this is something else... Alfie... I could use your help.
Alfie: I dunno... I've got a lot on tonight. What's your thing?
Jerome: I am going to break into the Frobisher Library and search for a long lost gem in an ancient suit of armor.
Alfie: Aww that sounds awesome... what about the alarm?
Jerome: *holds up key* Swiped it from Jasper's desk today. We don't have to worry about anything so long as we don't touch the exhibits.
Alfie: But if the alarm does go off, Victor comes running, right?
Jerome: Potentially yes, but w-
Alfie: I'll do it!
Jerome: Thanks mate!

Mara: Remind why we have to get even with Eddie, right now?
Patricia: Always prank your enemy when they least expect it. Operation Nemesis, is go.

Alfie: This is cool. It's like being a ninja. Ninja in the library! Book ninja! 'Sorry I'm returning these books late' 'Oh that's okay- NOW FEEL MY STEEL!
Jerome: Alfie! Concentrate!... I can't see a suit of armor anywhere. How about you?
Alfie: *Pretends to almost break one of the exhibit cases* Hiya-
Jerome: ALFIE! Careful! These cases are alarmed!
Alfie: ...Nope, no armor here. Maybe it was moved or someone borrowed it.
Jerome: Why would someone borrow a suit of armor?
Alfie: For a costume party maybe? Or a war!
Jerome: Admittedly two very good reasons.

Eddie: What just happened?!
Patricia: Long story short. Victor. You and me. Detention.
Eddie: *slaps his own face* I'm not dreaming.

Mara: Hi!
Jerome: Hello. What are you so excited about?
Mara: I've got a meeting with Mr. Sweet and I can't wait!
Jerome: Steady, I have to call the excitement police.
Mara: Nooo! I'm interviewing him for the website. An article on junk food in the school cafeteria. I'm calling it, 'Do you want LIES with that?'
Jerome: ...Go scoop.
Mara:... Are you okay? You skipped breakfast.
Jerome: There is a limit to how much sugary flaked corn I can take in a lifetime. I may have peeked early.
Mara: You're a terrible liar Jerome.
Jerome: I resent that, I am a brilliant lair.
Mara: Either way, I know something's up. You can tell me. You know I don't judge... Okay, I'll try really hard not to.
Jerome: Okay... Last time I visited my dad he asked me to do something for him.
Mara: Bring him some paperbacks?
Jerome: Find a priceless gem in an old suit of armor.
Mara: Okay, I was way off. I thought he was trying to go straight
Jerome: He is. It's to make up for something bad he did before.
Mara: By making you steal a gem? Two wrongs don't make a right Jerome.
Jerome: Sorry Mara, what was that about NOT JUDGING?... Anyway, it doesn't matter. I failed. I looked all over the library for the suit of armor. It's gone.
Mara: ...This actually matter to you doesn't it then?
Jerome: It's a bonding thing. Some guys go fishing. Clarkes track down priceless jewels. It's how we roll... He needs me to do this for him.
Mara: ...You're putting another human being before yourself. I think I might cry.
Jerome: Please. Don't. People will think I'm being mean to you.
*Mara hugs him, surprising him*

Mara: Try and guess why I'm so happy.
Jerome: Because there's a trigonometry test tomorrow and you're... weird.
Mara: No. Although I do like a good trig test... So, I suppose you don't want to know where the suit of armor is after all?
Jerome: What? You found it?!
Mara: Yes, but, you're not interested.
Jerome: No, Mara, Mara don't do this to me.
Mara: Sweetie uses it as a coat stand in his office.
Jerome: His office? Now that is interesting.
Mara: But don't ask me how you're getting to it.

Alfie: Ten-four little buddy. That's a little walky-talky speak.
Nina: I can't believe you still have these.
Alfie: Yeah. They were under the bed. I'd forgotten about them actually.
Amber: You still play with them don't you?
Alfie: You don't play with walky's Amber. They're used for very serious forms of communication in counter intelligence all over the world.
Nina: So who's A-Dog and the J-Miester then?
Alfie: They came with that already on them.

Joy: I might go to the movies... or pizza. You know I love pizza!
Fabian: W-Well everyone loves pizza! Apart from some people... Vegans... Yeah...

Amber: What's wrong Fabian? Down in the love-dumps?
Fabian: That's one way of putting it... Is it that obvious?
Amber: Only to me. But then I am kind of a dating-guru. It's Nina isn't it?
Fabian: No... Joy.
Amber: You're in love with Joy!?!?
Fabian: Amber! Indoor voice please!... I'm not in-love with her, but I think she's trying to ask me out.
Amber: So the hunter has circled her pray long enough.
Fabian: ...Sorry Amber, what now?
Amber: And you're trying to put her off? You've done the right thing in coming to the guru for advice.
Fabian: I didn't ask for any h-
Amber: Because thanks to my experiences with Mick and Alfie, I'm well versed in all facets of love and general relationship matters.
Fabian: ...Okay do your worst.
Amber: Right. Whatever you do, don't say yes. Because you WILL give her the wrong impression and you WILL upset her.
Fabian: Well, I mean not saying yes was pretty much going to be my first-
Amber: There's more. And this is where it gets tricky. Whatever you do, don't say no either.
Fabian: Well... That just sounds confusing. Why can't I just say no?
Amber: Because then you'll seem hard to get, and if there's one thing us girls want, is someone we can't have. So don't say yes. Don't say no.

Patricia: Detention date with El Victoro.

Alfie: He's kind of cute, isn't he? For a goose.
Jerome: All I see, is a feathery gem eater. Mocking me with his exceptional bowel control.

Eddie: You ready? This game is not for ladies.
Patricia: Uh, hey I am not a 'lady'.
Eddie: Yeah you're right. *rams into Patricia*
Patricia: That. Was awesome. Now my turn!

Jerome: Remind me... we left the goose, on the bed in plain sight, didn't we?
Alfie: Yeah.
Jerome: ...Good. Because for a moment there, I was worried that Victor wouldn't find him!

Amber: Just pretend I'm Joy. Don't react to anything I say... *takes breath*... HI FABES! Remember when we were BFF's and we did blah-blah-blah at that place in the blah and how we laughed at the blah? So anyway I love you... Don't look at me! *sighs* I'm waay better girlfriend material than Nina. For a start, I'm not cursed, not American, and I don't smell of books.
Fabian: That's not very nice-
Amber: This isn't even the hard stuff! How are you going to cope if she cries? I'm serious Fabian, she's good. You go in unprepared, you'll never get out alive. *sighs* Okay, let's start at the beginning. Forget the role play, just ignore me, Amber. Whatever I say. Ready?... Why read books? If they're that good, they'll make a movie out of it. If you had a computer big enough, could you explode the internet? The wheel. The steam engine. Electricity. Are all insignificant inventions in comparison to the fake tan.

Jerome: Goosey goo... And voila! One gem stone direct from the system of a very relieved goose!
Mara: Don't bring that thing near me! It's all drippy!
Jerome: Yeah.
Mara: Come on, let's go and wash it.

Patricia: *to Nina's bear* It's not stealing, it's borrowing.

Jerome: Oh, yeah, that's right, bail. When the going gets tough, Mara gets going!

Fabian: What are you doing out here Jerome?
Jerome: Just waiting, to... use the girls bathroom.
Fabian: Rather then the boys one downstairs?
Jerome: ...I am so bored of that one, aren't you? I just fancied a change of scenery.
Alfie: I get that, I get that.

Poppy: Finders keepers.

Alfie: You were acting weird all last session. I dunno, it's almost as if you were... concentrating.
Jerome: Take that back!

Jerome: Have you two started a strange girls acting strangely club? Because right now it's going very well!
Amber: Poppy's wearing a necklace around her neck.
Jerome: Seems logical Amber, that is where you wear them. Continue?
Nina: It's ours. She said you gave it to her.
Jerome: ...Yes, I did, what of it?
Nina: Well... it belongs to us. We lost it and we'd like it back.
Jerome: Well Nina, I'm afraid the operative word you used was 'lost'. In my book, that makes Poppy the finder-keeper, and you, a pair of loser-weepers. Have a nice day. *leaves*
Amber: He's acting too weird.

Jerome: Poppy... *looks at her necklace*
Poppy: I didn't steal it Jerome, I swear. I found it outside on the grass!... Honest.
Jerome: Okay. I believe you. But, that belongs to someone else. And that someone else, is probably going to be very upset that they lost it. A good person, Poppy, a kind person, wouldn't want that would they?
Poppy: ...I guess. *takes off necklace*
Jerome: That's more like it. *takes necklace*
Poppy: You really have changed, haven't you Gerbil? *leaves*
Jerome: *smiles to self*...This'll come in very handy.

Eddie: Patricia, are you okay? A-... Can you see?
Patricia: What? Yes, of course I can. *picks of fruit and starts cleaning it*
Eddie: And now you're polishing fruit. You really can't see, can you?
Patricia: Okay, maybe I'm not exactly 20-20. It's just an eye infection. I've had it before.
Eddie: Can you see anything? Can you see me?
Patricia: I can see like a massive blurry blob.
Eddie: Yacker, I think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Well uh... *inches closer to her* Can you see me now?
Patricia: Maybe you're a little bit less blurry.
Eddie: *inches closer again* How about now?
Patricia: It's better. But-
Eddie: How about now? *inches closer again*
Patricia: Eddie, I have to tell you something.
Eddie: Yes Patricia? *tries to kiss her*
Patricia: You should change your mouth wash, 'cause your breath really stinks.

Amber: FABIAN ARE YOU INSANE? Joy? Movies? Date? Are you insane?!
Fabian: I-I-I didn't ask her, she just-
Amber: IT'S AN OUTRAGE is what it is!

Alfie: The library.
Fabian: How'd you figure that one out?
Alfie: It's where the suit of armor used to be. Armor, 'Armorer', right? And I don't know, isn't scholar like an old-style word for massive nerd?
Amber: And where do you find nerds? *looks at Fabian*
Fabian: SO I spend a lot of time in the library this doesn't mean that I'm a 'massive nerd'! Kay?

Eddie: Watch out-
Patricia: Uh, get lost weasel!
Eddie: Okay, you can definitely see now.
Patricia: Yep. And you can back off.
Eddie: Hey, after what happened in detention? I mean you need looking after you almost kissed me. Close call, right?
Patricia: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about. And I was half blind, so it doesn't even count.
Eddie: Well you know, if you wanna take another run at it, I'm here. Anytime.
Patricia: Okay, tell you what. You make the arrangements, tell me where you'll be, and I'll make sure I'm on the other side of the planet, okay?

Patricia: I mean the arrogance! You have to have permission for that sort of thing. Oooh but not him! I've never met anyone so... Ugh!
Joy: Wow... You've got it bad.
Patricia: Joy!... what? *sighs*... did I overplay it?
Joy: Only to someone who knows you like I do. To everyone else, it looks like pure hatred.
Patricia: Uh well yeah, that's the general vibe I'm trying to go for... I don't want him to see through it.
Joy: Well it's working. Seriously, tell him you like him. Otherwise he's just gonna lose interest.
Patricia: I can't! I mean, I want to say 'Eddie... I like you, you're cute' and all that stuff. By the time it gets to here, what comes out is 'Get out of my face Eddie you freak!'
Joy: Yeah... you said that a lot.

Jerome: So... Your folks took Alfie to the hospital.
Young Alfie: Old sports injury.
Jerome: ...What sports injury?
Young Alfie: It was a ninja net break.
Jerome: You're more like Alfie then I expected.
Young Alfie: Cool, right?
Jerome: *laughs* Alfie, cool? Nah.
Young Alfie: And you're so cool yourself.
Jerome: Naturally.
Young Alfie: What makes you cool?
Jerome: ...Wel- I... She's called Mara. I have a hot girlfriend.
Young Alfie: Mara?! *laughs*J
Jerome: Yes! Mara! Hey! And don't pay attention to anything Alfie says. Because he doesn't know. I do. Alright?

Young Alfie: So she isn't really your girlfriend?
Jerome: ...I thought if she pretended for long enough she might get used to the idea.
Young Alfie: Ask her out. Much easier.
Jerome: Bad enough getting advice from a kid, but a kid related to Alfie.
Young Alfie: Can't keep you off the internet forever. Just tell her. Much easier.
Jerome: Like it's that simple.
Young Alfie: Chickeennnn.
Jerome: Oh no-
Young Alfie: Chick-chick-chicken! Bawk!
Jerome: Hey! Go back to your Aunty Nina's room!
Young Alfie: Bawk!
Jerome: Run along!
Young Alfie: Bawk-bawk!
Jerome: Out!

Patricia's laptop: Listen up weasel. I really was locked in the bathroom and I really would like to make you thinner.
Eddie: Are you saying I'm fat?
Patricia's laptop: Dinner. Make you dinner. Sorry. I am really bad at typing.
Eddie: Well, this is the first time I've been hit on by a robot.
Patricia's laptop: Is that a yes?
Eddie: *takes Patricia's laptop and types* You bet it's a yes, baby.

Jerome: Ah, Jaffray, I was just gonna come looking for you.
Mara: Me too. Good news.
Jerome: Mick saw our pictures.
Mara: He was soo upset. There is no Australian girlfriend.
Jerome: Nooo?
Mara: I felt terrible... I, had to think of something, so... I told him I only did it because you can't get a girlfriend and people were teasing you. *runs out of room*
Jerome: ...Hold on, Mara! *runs out after her* What?
Mara: ...But, it's okay! Because the photos made him realize how much he missed me. So, we're going to give the whole long distance relationship thing a go. Your plan worked! Thanks again. *kisses his cheek and leaves*
Eddie: *walks in* Girls. Man, they are weird.
Jerome: *checks watch* It's midnight in Australia. We were dating, for one day, Australian time... And now, she is literally, deleting me out of her life!

Jerome: Think you can delete the evidence that easily, do you Jaffray?

Poppy: You wanna play hide and go seek?
Young Alfie: Yay!
Poppy: Okay, you go hide. One... Two... *takes magazine out of bag* Three... Easiest money I've ever made... Four... Five...

You Know You Are a 90’s Kid When...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
2. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
3. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
4. When you settled everything by rock paper scissors or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or eeny meeny miney mo.
5. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
6. You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
7. You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
8. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
9. You remember Ring Pops.
10. You remember drinking Tang.
11. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
12. When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
13. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
14. You rember when Tamagotchi, GigaPet, and Nano were all that.
15. Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
16. Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
17. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
18. Michael Jordan was a king.
19. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
20. You collected those Beanie Babies.
21. YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
22. Carebears
23. The old dollar bills.
24. Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
25. You know the Macarena by heart.
26. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
27. You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
28. You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
29. You remember Highlight's magazine.
30. You went to McDonald's/Burger King to play in the playplace.
31. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
32. Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
33. Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
34. Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
36. Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
37. When light up sneakers were cool.
38. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
39. When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was the new thing.
40. When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
41. When gameboy was a brick.
42. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!?
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . Or if you smiled at one of these

If you've ever woken up from a really crazy dream and rushed down stairs to tell everyone you live with how nuts it was, only to have forgotten what it was all about by the time you reach the kitchen table, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've never done drugs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad' to the Animorphs' version of the Barney Song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family...), to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Minerva McGonagall is cool copy this in your profile.

Things that Professor Snape is no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts:
By excessivelyperky

1. Not allowed to sing “Black Powder and Alcohol” to the students. Especially not allowed to substitute ingredients that will result in napalm and methamphetamine instead.

2. Crucifying toads. Bad idea.

3. Not allowed to collect blood and/or hair samples from students or staff for potion-making. This includes Mrs. Norris.

4. Not allowed to train Hagrid’s pets into attacking Gryffindors.

5. May not call any members of the Ministry of Magic untrustworthy, corrupt slime. Not even Fudge. Ok, especially not Fudge.

6. Even if I still have the receipt for the last bribe I gave him from Lucius.

7. Must never tease Trelawney about what she puts in her incense.

8. May not sell any Weasley into slavery.

9. Gozer does not live in my supply cabinet. You’d be surprised what does, though.

10. The Forbidden Forest is not full of yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell first-years that it is.

11. I cannot trade McGonagall to the Death-Eaters for McNair, Avery, and a DE to be named later.

12. “Poppy” is Madam Pomfrey’s name, and not what she dispenses.

13. May not conduct psychological experiments on staff members or students.

14. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.

15. While under Veritaserum.

16. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long-term goal to give Lord Voldemort. Or Dumbledore, for that matter.

17. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war". Not even Pettigrew.

18. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question Dumbledore asks me. Only Trelawney gets to do that.

19. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on school time.

20. Must wash my hair even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.

21. Must not taunt the Hufflepuffs.

22. Not allowed to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in Death-Eater recruiting posters. God only knows why.

23. Not allowed to put up Death-Eater recruiting posters on school property, not even in the Slytherin Common Room.

24. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain(s) of command. Neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort have any sense of humor that way.

25. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Professor Snape.

26. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

27. Except Peeves.

28. Nerve gas is not funny, not even at a Dark Revel.

29. Must not tell any Death-Eater that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.

30. Visiting Irish wizards are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'. Now Flitwick, on the other hand, has a right to be worried.

31. Potions Class should not end in tragedy.

32. I may not produce or perform in “Hogwarts: The Full Monty”. Nor may I encourage any student or staff to do so.

33. Not even Madam Hooch.

34. May not use Harry Potter as a body shield if Voldemort invades the school.

35. May no longer decorate the Great Hall for any function.

36. May not give Professor Sprout any plant named “Audrey”.

37. May not feed Longbottom to “Audrey”.

38. May not bring Moaning Myrtle as my date to the Yule Ball.

39. May not put banned substances on the Gryffindor Quidditch brooms just before a match (see attached list).

40. May not encourage Fred or George Weasley to boobytrap the Sorting Hat.

41. May not bring Longbottom to any Death-Eater function in the hopes he will ‘fix’ Voldemort’s latest potion.

42. Even if the resulting explosion will leave a smoking crater a quarter-mile in diameter, thus resolving at least two of my major problems.

43. May not send a charmed rubber rat across the floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom in hopes that Lupin will chase it.

44. Or send Sirius Black a flea collar in Extra Large. Though he could use it. “Dances with wolves, sleeps with fleas”.

45. When asked to give a few words at a ceremony or staff meeting, ‘Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate. Besides, that’s Dumbledore’s job.


1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.

3. He is NOT Gollum either.

4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.

12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.

13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.

16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.

22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.

Did you know...
1) If you play a trick on someone once, they will fall for it again as long as you keep a good space of time between the incidents
2) No matter how many times you pick your nose, the boogers will never go away.
3) You'll be more popular if you try not to act popular than if you try to act popular.
4) The bigger the house, the bigger the chance of it being haunted.
5) If everyone believes that a wall is not solid, it won't be solid.
6) However, pushing on the wall and saying that it is not solid doesn't help.
7) People will be impressed if you use big words. (like the word unicorn-7 letters!)
8) Teenagers will just stare and try to comprehend it.

9) Saying you're a gangster doesn't really mean your a gangster.
10) Being a nerd may make you unpopular in high school, but in the future you can order Chicken McNuggets from the popular kids.
11) 10 percent of people will leave this alone.
12) 90 percent will repost this just for the heck of it

123 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort.

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.

111. ..even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say “Storms suck!”

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody?


2) Do you hate more than 3 people?


3) How many houses have you lived in


4) Favorite candy bar?


5) Favorite shoes?

Black pumps or boots.

6) Have you ever tripped someone?


7) Have you ever yelled at someone randomly?

Not yelled...

8) Ever went ballistic on a person when they dissed your favorite band?


9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?


10) Have you ever thrown up in public?

Don’t think so.

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind.

Songs or ideas for my stories.

12) Favorite genre of music?

R&B, trad, pop and rock.

13) What is your zodiac sign?


14) What time were you born?

5:30 AM.

15) Do you like beer?


16) Ever made a prank phone call?


17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own?

We Started Nothing,

18) Are you sarcastic?

I don’t know…why don’t you find out?

19) What are your favorite colors?

Blue, black, silver, green and red.

20) How many watches do you own?


21) Summer or winter?


23) Favorite color to wear?

Blue or Black

24) Pepsi or Sprite?


25) What color is your cell phone?


26) Where is your second home?

My mam's house. (My parents are separated)

27) Have you ever slapped someone?

Not in the face.

28) Have you ever had a cavity?


29) How many lamps are in your bedroom?


30) How many video games do you own?


31) What was your first pet?

A red boxer dog named Prince and a white boxer dog named Mandy.

32) Ever had braces?


33) Do looks matter?


34) Do you use chapstick?


35) Name 3 teachers from your middle school:

Miss Barr, Miss Shannon and Miss McNamara.

36) American Eagle or Abercrombie?


37) Are you too forgiving?

Defiantly not!

38) How many children do you want?


39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?


40) Favorite breakfast meal?

Eggs and toast or cereal and toast.

41) Do you own a gun?

No, but my dad used to own one.

42) Ever thought you were in love?


43) When was the last time you cried?

The other day when I came up with a new story's really sad. :'(

44) What did you do 3 nights ago?

Had a talent show with the other girls in my year and five of our teachers, before getting headache medicine from my PE teacher and dreading the 10k walk we were doing the next day. It probably wasn't as bad as the 16k we did the previous day, but the teachers sent two of us back because we were sick.

45) Olive Garden? Panera Bread?


46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?

No, one of my friends did though. It didn't help that it was a male teacher...

47) Have you ever been in a castle?

A few ruined ones.


My classmates used to call my best friend and I "Silicone" as a mash-up of our two names.

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha?


50) Ever been to Kentucky?


51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?

I have no idea what that is…

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?


53) Have you ever called someone Boo?


55) Do you own a diamond ring?

Not a real one, I don't think.

56) Are you happy with your life right now?


57) Do you dye your hair?

No. I'm going to donate it, and the Rapunzel Foundation won't accept dyed hair.

58) Does anyone like you? Like as a friend or more?

I have no idea.

59) What year were you born?

Sometime during the two hundred thousand years we lived on earth.

60) What were you doing in May of 1994?

I was drifting around the cosmos, strumming a mandolin.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?


62) McDonalds or Wendy’s?

I don't like fast food.

63) Do you like yourself?


64) Are you closer to your mother or father?

I live with my dad, so...

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?

Tall, dark hair, green eyes...

66) Are you afraid of the dark?


67) Have you ever eaten paste?


68) Do you own a webcam?

It’s on my computer.

69) Have you ever stripped?

Yeah, when I closed and locked the bathroom door and got ready to take a shower. Duh.

70) Ever broke a bone?

I came pretty close.

72) Do you chat on AIM often?

I don’t know what it is…

73) Pringles or Lays?


74) Have you ever broken someone's heart?

I hope not.

75) Rugrats or Doug?


76) Full House or The Brady Bunch?


77) Do you like your high school guidance counselor?

Yeah, we get along.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat?

Don’t think so…eh, who cares?

80) Do you own a car?


81) Can you cook?

Some things.

82) 3 things that annoy you:

Bebo stunners, liars and bugs.

83) Do you text message often?

Define often...

84) Money or love?

Well, if I say ‘love’ I’ll sound like a nice person so, MONEY!!

85) Do you have any scars?


86) What do you want more than anything right now?

A new phone, mine's falling apart.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies?


88) Relationships or one night stands?


89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?


90) Do you enjoy greasy food?

No, it's so unhealthy.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?


92) Do you own a box of crayons?


94) Who was the last person that said they loved you?

My mom…I think.

95) Who was the last person that made you mad?

My sister.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry?


97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?

Myself, I’m a VERY funny person.

98) Who was the last person that you fell for?

No one.

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you?

Can't remember.

100) Who was the last person that called you?

My mam.


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

"Although he could not see the fingertips of the three clenched fingers, Langdon knew these fingertips would bear their own unique markings."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

A shelf.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

House of Anubis. (House of Sabotage/House of Nine Lives)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:


5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?


6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My sister watching TV.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

I went out to lock the shed.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

My dad putting our new breakfast nook together.

9. What are you wearing?

Black trousers, white long-sleeved t-shirt, grey tank top and flip-flops.

10. Did you dream last night?

Yeah, it gave me the idea for a very sad story.

11. When did you last laugh?

Like an hour ago at my own joke!

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A shelf full of ornaments and awards, another shelf full of notebooks and computer disks, yet another shelf with DVDs, CDs and Wii games, a painting my aunt did, a calendar, a dartboard, the TV and my certificate from the Centre for Talented Youths.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

It's alright.

15. What is the last film you saw?


16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A new house.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13.

People call another Guy fat, No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight .

People call an old man ugly, No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping.

I believe thirteen is a lucky number.

I believe we all talk to ourselves out of lonliness.

I believe we all find an obsessive character that our heart desires most.

I believe everyone is unique, some just try to hide it.

I believe that the whole world is brainwashed by Society.

I believe that I have no idea why everyone likes waffles so much.

I believe everyone has a soul mate; some people just have more than one: which makes everything a bit more complicated.

I believe the Internet is the most amazing thing ever created by the lovely thing called science.

I believe you have a secret.

I believe you just thought of that secret.

I believe girls are stronger than boys.

I also believe that having a kid is not the reason for my existence.

I believe that I HATE all sexist, and racist people, although everyone is, as they are brainwashed by Society.

I believe no one knows what happens after death, and the only reason old people are so invested into "religion" is because they are in fear of what happens after we die.

I believe that Nerds will one day rule the world, so we better be nicer to them.

I believe Stereotypes are for the hypocrites.

When Remus J. Lupin rules the world all problems will be solved with chocolate.

First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

Good friends keep your secrets. True friends help you crucio the witnesses.

Sirius Black. Escaped Azkaban. Evaded dementors. Killed by drapery.

(Fred and George) Chaos, mayhem, anarchy. Our work here is done.

I learned Parseltongue for my foreign language course.

A friend will cover for you. But a real friend will sit next to you in detention and say "That was totally worth it!"

I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

Slytherins: Don't hate us because we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your ass at everything.

You can't tell, but I'm picturing you dying in horrible ways.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not scream "Lumos!" at the light switch...again.

I will not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

I will not bring a fortune cookie/magic 8 ball to Divination class (for extra credit)

If a man has two faces and one is Voldemort, it's best to run.

I will not write fanfiction instead of doing my homework. Again.


From the inner depths of my class' minds.


Throwing annoying siblings into.

A flowerbed.

A water feature.

A doorstop.

Sliding down stairs.

Pretending to paddle in winter.

Shelter in a war zone.

A bat's cave.

Storing paper.

Covering wires.

Making whipped cream.

Making grape juice.


Watching TV in.

Sitting in.

Hiding in.

Sleeping in.

Storing firewood.

If it's wooden, use it for firewood.

A wall decoration.

Turn it upside down and use it as a table.

A public swimming pool.

Providing jobs for lifeguards.

Reason for an ad on DoneDeal.

Drowning in.


You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone.

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides

You are hydrophobiac



You feel at home in the water.

Your favourite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim professionally.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobiac



You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be)

You write in diary/journal/blog.

You feel most active at night.



You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb.

You’re an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals.

You’re a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shops.

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.



You often start fights.

You’re a very aggressive type of person.

You like watching wrestling.

You’re competitive.

You like reading about war.

You don’t take crap from anybody.

You have anger management.

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say.

You don’t always think before you do something.



You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge

You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. (Not last year but very possibly this year)

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You’re the valedictorian in your class.

You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card.

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful



You’re very creative and artistic.

You like listening to all kinds of music in general.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing.

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight A's in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.



You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals

You can shoot targets

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun

Zoe Nightshade is awesome

You love wild animals

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters



You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time.

You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.(Never tried it)

Metalworking is your forte. (Never tried it.)

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You’re a techie.

You often have carpentry projects.

You dream of being a carpenter.

You aren’t afraid of fire.



Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.

Your favorrite activity is clothes-shopping.

You’re always at the front of every trend.

You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.

You’re often invited to parties.

Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis

0/10 0_0


You like pickpocketing your friends.

You’re a prankster.

You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments.

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.



You’re the life of the party.

You like wine.

You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.

You can finish a martini in less than a minute..

You have a happy, cheerful disposition.

You're a foodie.

You like going to social events and mingling with people.

You like trying out new food.

You feel that you’re abundant in life.

You think that too much of anything is bad.


I am a daughter of either Hermes or Hades.

I'm the kind of girl who has to warn her friends if she has had any sugar within the last five years.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

I'm that girl

The one that likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up

If you have a crush on 1 or more fictional characters, paste this on your profile.(you know who you are ;D)

Pick 5 TV shows you like without reading the questions.

1. The Big Bang Theory

2. House

3. House of Anubis

4. American Horror Story: Murder House

5. American Horror Story: Asylum

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?


2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?


3. What is your favorite episode of 4?

Halloween Part 2

4. What is your favorite season of 5?

It's only one season.

5. What’s your favorite relationship in 3?

Victera (Victor and Vera)

6. How long have you watched 1?

Since 3rd Year.

7. How did you become interested in 3?

My sister was watching it and I heard someone mention mythology.

8. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Evan Peters, Jessica Lange and Lily Rabe.

9. Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5?

American Horror Story: Asylum.

10. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

House of Anubis.

11. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Nora Montgomery, even though her story is one of the saddest in the house.

12. How would you kill off your favorite character in 5?

Sister Mary Eunice was killed off in "The Name Game." The Monsignor threw her from the third floor inner balcony.

13. Would a 3/4 Crossover work?


14. Give a random quote from 2.

“Give me the damn flower."

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

Hmmm...Amy and Leonard.

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

Just for main characters...American Horror Story: Asylum

17. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Oh my gosh, American Horror Story, most definitely!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Professors' Point of View by alittleinsane963 reviews
Admit it, you've always been curious about what the professors were thinking while Harry, Ron, and Hermione got themselves into all kinds of shenanigans.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 106 - Words: 240,896 - Reviews: 3542 - Favs: 1,316 - Follows: 1,289 - Updated: 4/17 - Published: 5/29/2011 - Severus S., Minerva M.
Jigsaw Pieces by Jess.91 reviews
Short one shots, not drabbles, of various eras, character and genres. - Because life's all jigsaw pieces, they just don't always fit -
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 198 - Words: 242,399 - Reviews: 2380 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 236 - Updated: 3/24 - Published: 10/14/2007
Age of Healing by EmPoweredBeing reviews
Hermione is suffering from the effects of the war and is struggling, for perhaps the first time, with her schooling. What happens next involves an accident that will change Hermione's life, and quite possibly Minerva's also.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 95,484 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 1/3 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Hermione G., Minerva M.
Harry and the Founding of Happiness by teddyaccount reviews
Little Harry asks Santa to take him to someone who loves him. Will Harry be able to find a home in the magical world? Time travel to the Founders' time and back to modern time's Hogwarts! Partly childfic, partly OOC, Completely AU! Abuse!Dursleys.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 1366 - Favs: 1,703 - Follows: 888 - Updated: 3/25/2016 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Helga H., Salazar S. - Complete
When Winter Melted a Heart by WriteYourDreamsTheyWillCome reviews
First in the trilogy. Clarion is lonely as the ruler and only fairy without a love. Her heart has hardened. Then her world flips upside down upon learning of winter fairies when she thought it was desolate land. It isn't love at first sight for Clarion and Milori, but things start to change when the seasons form a council. Crisis soon tests the two as rulers. And as lovers.
Tinkerbell - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 48 - Words: 62,207 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/24/2014 - Published: 4/4/2014 - Fairy Mary, Queen Clarion, Lord Milori, Sled - Complete
Crowns and Tears of Gold by pageslearntothink reviews
A new year at Anubis, new students, a new mystery, new relationships, old relationships, and old enemies all come together in Nina's 3rd year at school. Well, you never really know what will happen at Anubis House; it's a mystery. And as we all know, the mystery is never really over...*The absolutely perfect cover on the side is by xXAquaMangoXx!* {COMPLETED!}
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 50 - Words: 96,361 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 3/8/2014 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Complete
Elves' Child by Teddylonglong reviews
What if house-elves took Harry away from the Dursleys' doorstep to raise him in the magical world? Completely AU, partly OOC, partly childfic. sick!Harry. Main characters: Harry, Severus, Poppy and my usual OC elves that you can find on my author's page.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 31 - Words: 55,351 - Reviews: 979 - Favs: 1,050 - Follows: 970 - Updated: 12/26/2013 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
But sometimes it's a good hurt by Kitsune Heart reviews
VERY dark one-shot. Fowl and Short's relationship has progressed, but something is utterly wrong. Only an outsider could really see what was going on, and he realized what was happening only when it was far too late.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Five fairies Artemis Fowl could have kidnapped by Kitsune Heart reviews
Full title: "Five fairies Artemis Fowl could have kidnapped who would have made his job a lot more difficult and one fairy who would have made things much easier, in the short run ." Just a little bit of fun.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 639 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/6/2011 - Artemis F. - Complete
In Another's Eyes by Kitsune Heart reviews
Four terrifying words: "You are the father." When the last person in the LEP that ANYONE thought would ever hear those words finds himself having to face up to a new responsibility...will he rise to it or fall? And what must he lose to get what he wants?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 734 - Reviews: 1067 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 12/25/2009 - Grub K., Vinyáya - Complete
The Dead, the Broken, and the Living by Kitsune Heart reviews
Ever since Holly and Artemis met, their lives have been entwined. This does not guarantee a happy ending. One event in their lives, following three paths, could mean the difference between horror, adventure, and romance. Enemies, friends, and lovers.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Another Day at the Office by Kitsune Heart reviews
Filing. Meetings. Paperwork. Hordes of the undead descending upon you and your coworkers, ravenous for their succulent brains. Wing Commander Vinyaya should really get overtime for this. A sequel to "In Another's Eyes."
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 774 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 10/30/2013 - Published: 10/27/2011 - Vinyáya, Grub K. - Complete
Of Births and Deaths and Everything In Between by EmPoweredBeing reviews
Harry starts his third year at Hogwarts and discovers a revelation about his past. How will it effect him and his future? HP/MM family fic, MM/AD later! Rated for mention of self harm nothing too drastic though.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 41 - Words: 157,616 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 9/24/2013 - Published: 5/6/2011 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Curse of the Reapers by deanine reviews
In a world under the thumb of an ancient emperor, Muggle society has been oppressed beyond recognition. Wizards rule over all, society organized by power. This is the story of a broken family scattered by a perpetual war, and the bonds that lead home. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 146,931 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 4/29/2013 - Published: 5/2/2005 - Harry P., James P., Lily Evans P.
Gift Of Gratitude by MinervaDeannaBond reviews
After the first Quidditch match against Slytherin, Harry Potter seeks out Professor McGonagall to thank her for her gift - and he unknowingly gives her something to be thankful for as well. Set during the movie "Sorcerer's Stone."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,779 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 4/11/2013 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
The White Room by Cooklez reviews
A small one-shot of what happens to Sister Mary Eunice and Doctor Arthur Arden after they've left the world's malicious grasp.
American Horror Story - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/27/2013 - Sister Mary Eunice, Dr. Arden - Complete
He Nearly Killed the Cat by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
Triple-cross, DV/HP canon/Anne original, now complete. What if James and Lily Potter's cat wasn't just any cat, but the only survivor of the Pack from an alternate world? And what if she discovered she might not be the only one left after all?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,695 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Complete
House of Descendants: A Very Anubis Christmas by vibrantblueeyes reviews
It's Christmas time at Anubis and everyone is ready for the holidays! They thought it was time for relaxing but the Sibunas find themselves deep in a mystery that might just change everything. Tempers run high, friendships are tested, love may blossom, and secrets will be revealed. Multi-chapter Rated T just in case.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 97,360 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/6/2013 - Published: 12/11/2012 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
Musing by Droogs for Ultraviolence reviews
Incredibly short oneshot of Arden's inner musing after episode seven. I might turn it into a collection of oneshots later- who knows?
American Horror Story - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 224 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/4/2012 - Dr. Arden - Complete
Persephone Files For Divorce by I'mTheGirlWhoLearnedToFly reviews
One fine day, Persephone decides to file for divorce. Zeus ends up becoming the judge of the madhouse-erm, court. Athena and Hera battle it out, lawyer-style. Aphy is betting, Hades is sleeping, Demeter is swearing and Zeus just wants something for his migraine. 100% pure crack. Re-revamped. Complete. [Now in Italian!]
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,954 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Hades, Persephone - Complete
Hi, I'm your daughter by fina2212 reviews
Allison or ""Ally", never knew her father so when her and her mother fight about it, she finally gets to meet him, in England all alone. So can she survive this new country or will she be running back to her mother?
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 6,212 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/9/2012 - Published: 6/29/2012
This House Called Love by Rora Elle reviews
Cora and Robert have only been married for a few months, and they find it hard to be in love, much less live in the same room.
Downton Abbey - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,200 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Cora C., Robert C. - Complete
The Hogwarts Blog II by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
The Second War is over, Voldemort aka Phil is dead, and the wizarding world is in shambles. What are Harry and his friends to do? Blog about it, of course! Sequel to The Hogwarts Blog. Again, moderately AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 82 - Words: 61,832 - Reviews: 1494 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 8/30/2012 - Published: 8/18/2008
Dark Fabian by NJ7009 reviews
Fabian has never been the agressive type, never intensionally hurts people, and would never, EVER, betray the one he loves. But when Senkhara is in the driving seat, Fabian becomes a black hearted, violent slave to the forgotten ruler. Now betrayal and trust, love and hate are about to occur inside the Anubis house... will the Sibuna gang bring Fabian back to his senses? Rated T
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,194 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Fabian R. - Complete
A Filthy World by tatestatee reviews
Piggy Piggy only told half the story. On one fateful day at Westfield High, Tate Langdon decides to embark on a noble war, but his plans are hindered by a fellow classmate. Can Violet stop the violence or is it too late?
American Horror Story - Rated: M - English - Crime/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,994 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Tate L., Violet H. - Complete
The Beginning by onmyside reviews
Charles Carson is a man of integrity and honour. Elsie Hughes is a strict but fair housekeeper. But how did they become these people? What has happened in their lives before they met and what happened after they met for the first time. AU.
Downton Abbey - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,202 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/9/2012 - Published: 7/8/2012 - E. Hughes, C. Carson - Complete
Sunflowers and Bandages by schmalak reviews
"Poppy wanted to be recognized as something extraordinary, as a force in itself that leapt from the ground and reached for the sky." Madam Pomfrey drabbles.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Poppy P. - Complete
Delving Deeper by TheWinterCountess reviews
Life after Season 2.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,634 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/2/2012 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Victor R., Vera D.
May I Have This Dance, Professor? by MinervaDeannaBond reviews
At the Yule Ball, Harry is all but ready to leave the dance, until Dumbledore announces the champion-teacher waltz. Harry chooses Professor McGonagall to be his partner... and he learns that a dance actually is great fun when you're dancing with a friend.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,645 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 24 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Sweet Disorder by lalala777 reviews
The faculty of Hogwarts has tried, in vain, for years to get their two leaders together. Can two muggles and a castle with feelings succeed where they have failed? ADMM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,638 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 7/24/2012 - Published: 10/16/2011 - [Albus D., Minerva M.] [OC, Severus S.] - Complete
Home by Lady Lanera reviews
Snape survived the war. But it was how he survived that will give him something he thought he'd never have again. Written for August's challenge based on the photo displayed here.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,993 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/12/2012 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
New Day, New Mystery! by kjbamforth reviews
It is 2015 and Nina,Fabian,Amber,Alfie,Patricia,Eddie and there children now own the house of Anubis and life is great, but on Nina's daughter Addy's first birthday, a spirit called Osiris come looking for the scepter of Anubis and Vera is looking for the Elixir, they have no choice but to get the gang back together! please review!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 23,462 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Fabian R., Nina M.
Daredevil by HecateA reviews
Risks and decisions, fast-thinking and choices. All in a day's work for a demigod, and Jason Grace is no exception, if not an overachiever. Oneshot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,246 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Jason G., Reyna R. - Complete
Memories of Jeyna by I am Thalia daughter of Zeus reviews
During dinner at Camp Jupiter, there are some startling news, that surprises just about everyone. It turns out Gwen, Bobby and Dakota have created a video to show the new campers why Reyna is so tense. What can happen when it's shown at dinner? Well, Jason's memory's come back and his girlfriend is absoloutely terrified. Annabeth seems to be the only one who understands though.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,708 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Jason G., Reyna R. - Complete
You're getting what? by Wonderstruck Pen reviews
Hylla has some big news. Reyna's probably not going to take it well. And what's this about Jason being a Beleiber?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Reyna R., Hylla - Complete
The Completely True Report Cards by LVB reviews
The end of semester is always difficult for a busy Professor, especially when said Professor is asked to provide feedback on the four biggest slackers in Gryffindor House 1976 Edition . Merlin help us all.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,481 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/10/2012 - James P., Minerva M. - Complete
Prisoner of an Empty House by PrincessDaydream77 reviews
Narcissa Malfoy lies awake in bed, pondering how Azkaban changed two major people in her life, Bellatrix and Sirius and wondering how it would have changed Lucius. Most people think of her as cold-hearted, but there was nothing colder than her empty bed. But will that change? Also, Narcissa is a lot younger than her siblings and cousins. Rated for slight hurt of Narcissa.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,081 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/9/2012 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
Boundless Salvation by Mir Queen reviews
Albus Dumbledore stood in the doorway like a hero from Greek Mythology, wand silhouetted with deadly precision against the light from the corridor, features contorted into a horrifying mixture of grief, fury, and terror, and his blue eyes sparking like fire. Umbridge looked positively ghostly with fear at the sight of him standing there like an avenging angel prepared for battle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,225 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Harry P., Albus D., Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
Trouble Comes in Threes by reviews
And this particular trio is rather fond of trouble...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,706 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Minerva M., Fred W. II - Complete
Skinned Knees and Ice Cream Cones by Gleeks09 reviews
AU: Rachel is 8 and she and Quinn is 9 and they do not get along. What happens when Quinn shows up at Rachel's house one Saturday morning in need of some help? Shelby has always been a part of Rachel's life and shares custody with Hiram and Leroy. AU
Glee - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,002 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/23/2012 - Shelby C., Rachel B. - Complete
A Wonderful Distraction by TheWinterCountess reviews
Another little ficlet with innocent flirting. : AND NEW ANNOUNCEMENTS.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,077 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/8/2012 - Vera D., Victor R. - Complete
Just For Tonight by TheWinterCountess reviews
First Victor/Vera fanfic! Just a little ficlet. Enjoy . . .
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,305 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/6/2012 - Victor R., Vera D. - Complete
Mandragora by NothingPretentious reviews
Consider the curiously humanoid mandrake root, or mandragora. It is hideously ugly, deadly dangerous, and a powerful restorative. Why would anything else matter? * * A tale of horror. Please review. * *
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 78 - Published: 2/23/2012 - P. Sprout - Complete
The Cat's Pyjamas by Teddylonglong reviews
Harry,6, transforms into a cat and friends Animagus Minerva. Together with Poppy, Remus, Severus etc, she takes him away from Dumbledore and his meddlings, to Kentucky. AU, OOC, mentioning abuse!Dursleys, adoption/name!change. Magically handicapped!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,788 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 7/17/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Light in the Darkness by EmPoweredBeing reviews
Young Harry fic. Albus lays down the law, forbidding Minerva from visiting Harry anymore, but allowing her one final visit. What they find will change everything. Harry/Min family fic, MMADness, Rated for Childabuse & maybe some MMADness. Dursley Bashing. Artwork thanks to DarthVandola - many many thanks and love
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,376 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 2/18/2012 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Harry P., Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Minerva and the Magic 8 Ball by FlashFiction reviews
The Weasley Twins have convinced Rolanda Hooch that her Magic 8 Ball is really a powerful magical object. Minerva McGonagall knows this is rubbish and would do anything to get her to believe it. Oh Magic 8 Ball, can we expect laughs from this story? Yes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,802 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/6/2012 - Minerva M., R. Hooch - Complete
After Finn's Proposal by CallMeKiera reviews
Title pretty much says it all. Except-this fic is a what-if-Rachel-called-Shelby-to-get-her-advice-after-Finn-proposed Oneshot.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,412 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Just Being Mean by 2manyfandoms reviews
An erroneous poster of Flynn would just be hitting his ego. And he had a big enough ego to handle a few petty blows. It was, after all just being a little mean ; There's a reason the nose is always wrong... and the Queen could tell you why.
Tangled - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,143 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2012 - The Queen, Flynn R. - Complete
Hold My Hand in the Dark by Gleeks09 reviews
AU: Shelby has always been a part of Rachel's life and she shares custody with the Berrys. Rachel is 10 finally finds a friend. The girl can't see very well and has to use a cane but what Rachel notices about her is her red hair. Like Annie's. AU
Glee - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,732 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Commentator by our dancing days reviews
"Mr Black, this is supposed to be an un-biased, just commentary." ... "If you wanted that, Minnie, you should have hired a Hufflepuff."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,900 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/13/2011 - Sirius B., Minerva M. - Complete
My Hero by Refreshingly Original reviews
We all know that Dumbledore was Harry's mentor, but who was his hero?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,068 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/7/2011 - Published: 9/15/2011 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Mélancolie by MrsAddams reviews
Just a short story I didn't really plan on doing, it just somehow happened yesterday night. I hope you'll like it anyway. Morticia centered, she's thinking about life without Gomez. Melancholic, but somewhat romantic. I hope.
Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 554 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Morticia A. - Complete
All the sweetness of the world by T.E.D.S reviews trapped in this one little body. If only Bellatrix knew she was pregnant, she would never get caught and sent to Azkaban. But it's too late, and her baby lives with other relatives. OWN STORY - OWN TRANSLATION.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 58,048 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
The Flamel's and the Stone by magical fan18 reviews
I ADOPTED THIS FIC FROM ANOTHER Author and I hope you like it. Harry finds a family in an Alchemist and a Kind Witch as they both discover the future of how their lives may be told with some others along the way. BOOK READING WITH A LITTLE BIT OF STORY TELLING. I have edited some chapters recently so please take a look as I am working on them slowly to improve them. PLEASE READ!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 137,079 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 11/28/2011 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Harry P., Nicolas F., Perenelle F. - Complete
Aftermath by DistractionCake reviews
"Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?" The silence is broken by Shelby Corcoran's blunt questioning.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,011 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Shelby C., Santana L. - Complete
MG McGonagall by LoveFromShinola reviews
Harry's pondering on the shield next to his father's reveal an unknown tragedy in Minerva's past...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,729 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Minerva M., Harry P. - Complete
I'll Get You, My Pretty by Gleeks09 reviews
AU: Rachel is five and Shelby has always been a part of her life and shares custody with Hiram and Leroy. Halloween is here and Rachel is in for a day of spooky happenings and tricks and treats. AU.
Glee - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,459 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/1/2011 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Albus's Fun Run by KrazyKimmy reviews
Albus sets his teaching staff on a run for charity. Much to their... annoyance, Severus, Remus and Minerva get roped in. Falls, laughs and sweat included; who else is for a circuit around Hogwarts? also their all dressed up, LOL Now finished!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,682 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Severus S., Minerva M. - Complete
Beaxbaton Baby by girlthatwrites reviews
This is about a girl who has lived and gone to school at Durmstrang, where her uncle and guardian is the Herbology teacher, until her fourth year. Her grandmother decides to send her to Beaxbaton Academy because she is "nothing but a filthy tomboy".
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 32 - Words: 57,773 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/8/2011 - Published: 4/1/2011 - Minerva M., Sirius B. - Complete
Governors' Week by minervathefeline reviews
Minerva McGonagall had to have a little fun - and Dolores Umbridge planted herself right in her path. Pity for the school Governors, but there wasn't much she could do about that.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,632 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
There Were Lessons Learned by cloverblob reviews
Rachel needs answers from the woman who up and left a whole year ago, and Shelby isn't sure how to explain. Possible "I Am Unicorn" spoilers. Rachel/Shelby angst. Oneshot.
Glee - Rated: K - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,731 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/24/2011 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Hair by BrokePerception reviews
She had not necessarily liked to have been the professorial centre of attention at the Triwizard Tournament... -REWRITTEN!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,622 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
Frozen by swamygliders reviews
Ron finds Harry crying in his bed one night after a detention. When he goes to get help for his best mate Harry runs. Where does he go and who finds him? Warning: Mentions of Abuse
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 117,936 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 743 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 8/17/2011 - Published: 4/11/2011 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
You've Got to be Carefully Taught by Gleeks09 reviews
AU: Rachel is 7 and has a run-in at school with a bully and gets into a fight. In this story, Shelby has always been a part of Rachel's life and she shares custody with Rachel's fathers. Shelby tries to help her understand why some people hate. AU.
Glee - Rated: K - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,172 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Playtime by MinervaDeannaBond reviews
After Voldemort's defeat, Harry takes his broomstick out for a ride - only, to his surprise, to have Professor McGonagall join him for some fun and games!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,110 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Runaway Adventures by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. 11-year-old Harry decides to follow Hagrid straight to Hogwarts, where he discovers a unique method of hiding in the castle that leads to unexpected consequences. Completely AU, mentioning of abuse!Dursleys. Set before Harry's first Hogwarts year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,801 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 94 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Harry P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
People Love to Hate Me by HuntressofArtemis39 reviews
So I was doing this project for school and I had to do a report on Hera. Now, I had orginally HATED this goddess but after reading the myths felt awful for her. So I made this little one-shot in her honor This WILL become a story if I get ten reviews!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 32,266 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 7/30/2011 - Published: 4/13/2011 - Hera - Complete
Four Witches Walk In To A Bar by FlashFiction reviews
Minerva McGonagall, Pomona Sprout, Rolanda Hooch and Poppy Pomfrey walk in to a bar. A short tale about four friends sharing a drink and a laugh amidst troubled times.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,460 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/25/2011 - Minerva M. - Complete
Starting Tomorrow by Gleeks09 reviews
AU: Rachel is 13 and this is her first day of high school. It doesn't go like she imagines and she doesn't want her parents to find out how her day really went. Shelby has always been a part of her life and shares custody with Hiram and Leroy. AU
Glee - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,529 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Rachel B., Shelby C. - Complete
Housecleaning by Earthshine.and.stars reviews
Random oneshot. Vector helps a reluctant Sinistra with some unwanted housecleaning. Set in OoTP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,401 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/9/2011 - A. Sinistra, S. Vector - Complete
Happy Birthday by Enigma's Secret reviews
A short little one shot for Trudy.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 783 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Trudy R. - Complete
Sword of Slytherin by Lady Lanera reviews
Following events in "Summer School," Harry dreams of vampires, black misty creatures, and Voldie & his DE, searching for the fabled Sword of Slytherin. Join Harry and family/friends as they unravel Slytherin's deadly secrets during his fifth year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 95,149 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 5/8/2011 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Defiance by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
"I will not lay my son on the Dark Lord's altar," Narcissa said quietly. "If Lucius wants to slit his wrists for the bastard, that's his business." Strong Cissy. Slight AU. DH based.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,245 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 3/9/2011 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Narcissa M., Draco M. - Complete
Carlisle and Esme: Their Lives and Love by ermireallydontcare reviews
The story of the lives of Carlisle and Esme. Starting with Carlisle's human life and lonely vampire beginnings, then Esme's human life, before looking at how they first met, found each other again, fell in love, married, and built themselves a family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 107 - Words: 324,309 - Reviews: 1830 - Favs: 492 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 4/16/2010 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Cold Hands, Warm Hearts by shyfoxling reviews
Oooooo, Severus, I think she likes you! Features young Professor Severus Snape and Aurora Sinistra with brief mention of past Severus/Lily. Sort of the het equivalent of pre-slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,896 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Published: 1/10/2011 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
It's not the heat by MMADfan reviews
Over the winter holiday, Filius finds himself with a longing. Will it be fulfilled? An installment in the "Cheering Charms" series of Filius Flitwick flashfics.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,920 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/6/2011 - [F. Flitwick, P. Sprout] - Complete
End of Year Panic at Hogwarts by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. On its way back to King's Cross, the Hogwarts Express stops in the middle of a snowstorm. Set in Harry's seventh Hogwarts year, Completely AU, partly OOC, sick!Harry, epidemic!Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,361 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Lioness and Viper by TigerShadow reviews
Minerva plays Quidditch. Dolores commentates. Hilarity ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,714 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
The Joke's on You by NastElilBuggr reviews
Shelby Corcoran does not stand for any funny business, so when her students prank the one person in the world she cares about, she does not sit idly. Set during Funk.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,862 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/18/2010 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Shelby C., Rachel B. - Complete
Summer School by Lady Lanera reviews
In response to Jan AQ's challenge "Summer School," Harry learns that he is going to be spending his summer in school because he did absolutely appalling on his finals during fourth-year. Hogwarts has a different way of teaching summer school, though. Does not follow canon.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 36 - Words: 84,048 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Felix Felicis by aramintasnape reviews
Republished - originally written in 2007. Who will win the coveted phial of Felix Felicis? Join Snape, Sinistra and the Marauders in their sixth year to find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,676 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Severus S., A. Sinistra - Complete
Breaking Professor Umbridge by siriusisbest reviews
The Gryffindor's have gotten tired of their new DADA teacher and bored with their class. So today, thier going to make it a little more interesting. Humor! One-Shot!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,358 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Dolores U. - Complete
On Her Lofty Throne She Sat by hp-not harry potter reviews
And He left, her tears running like blood, the blood her frozen heart was pouring, as it shattered into a million pieces, leaving her sobbing. Her forbidden fruit; her symbol of power, the pomegranate. Veritas Prompt Fic for May.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,488 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/22/2010 - Hera, Hephaestus - Complete
A Serpent in Lion's Clothing by Lady Lanera reviews
Written for Lily Elizabeth Snape's challenge "Serpensortia" on potionsAndSnitches, which Snape's inner thoughts about the famous Dueling Club Match in Harry's second year are revealed. How does this one event affect Snape forever?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 41,913 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Rat Experiences by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. After receiving the map from the twins, Harry falls ill and has much time to study it. Just a little drabble, set in Harry's third Hogwarts year. Completely AU, sick!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 34 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Girls vs Boys by ermireallydontcare reviews
A bet between Emmett and Alice turns into a battle of the sexes. Contains: an annoyed Alice, Jasper wearing only a Confederate flag, a sexually repressed Emmett, a nearly naked Rosalie, a power-tripping Esme, and Carlisle in a apron. Slightly crackfic.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,957 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/13/2010 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Complete
SLC: Giving Them What They Deserve by Lady Lanera reviews
Takes place before SLC's chapter 17, Professor Sinistra decides to give the Dursleys what they deserve for hurting Harry. Rated M for violence/torture. Does hint at possible Snape/Sinistra.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,807 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/10/2010 - A. Sinistra - Complete
The Move by FlamingToads reviews
I've think most of everyone has heard of "The Move". You know when a guy or girl yawns and slowly their arm creeps around your shoulders. Rated T just to be safe. Just another night at Grimmauld Place.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,049 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
A Trip to London with Consequences by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. Minerva McGonagall notices a small black cat taking a nap at an unfortunate spot; moreover, the cat doesn't smell like a real cat but rather seems to be an Animagus. Set when Harry is seven; Completely AU, partly OOC, abuse!Dursleys, sick!Harry, MM/AD
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,424 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 99 - Published: 3/23/2010 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
A Slytherin Surprise by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. Hermione listens to the Slytherins talk about house-elves and becomes upset enough to develop a complicated charm to get her revenge. Set in third year, completely AU, rating because of bad language in the first part.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,674 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 27 - Published: 3/4/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Teachers' Notebook by alittleinsane963 reviews
Inside this story you will find the chronicles of the 7 years of torture the staff of Hogwarts had to endure, from their point of view, due to 4 boys. That's right. None other than James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 107 - Words: 130,006 - Reviews: 2829 - Favs: 796 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Minerva M., Remus L. - Complete
A DumbledoreMcGonagall Party Reunion by minerva's-kitten reviews
This you won't want to forget. It's the companion to Locked In so you may want to read that first. summary: Insanity prevails when two big families show the Golden Trio what their idea of a reunion is!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,047 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/11/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Albus D., Minerva M.
The Diary by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. Harry has an unusual ability, but it only works when he is ill. One day, when Petunia orders him to clean the attic, he finds a diary. Will he be able to change his future? Completely AU, Severus partly OOC, set before Harry's Hogwarts years, sick!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,403 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 2/3/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Fred and George: Mission: Enter Snowman Contest by JB5391 reviews
For Healer Pomfrey's Christmas Writing Challenge 2009. My first HP Story Be nice . Fred and George have plans for a snowman contest. However they fall ill on the last day of term and guess who's in charge of the Hospital Wing? sick!Fred&George OOC!Snape
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,143 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 27 - Published: 1/1/2010 - George W., Fred W. - Complete
Locked In by minerva's-kitten reviews
Summary: Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Severus, Horace, Albus, and Minerva are locked in the Founders' Nursery by four ghosts. Who knows what they'll learn!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 34,599 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
Compass Lost by Zetjintsu reviews
Completed one-shot short story. A mother and daughter try to reconnect with each other during an important rite of passage. Azula is a dangerous person to get close to though. Critique and reviews appreciated.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,051 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Azula, Ursa - Complete
Cooling the Magic by Teddylonglong reviews
Strangely, the Sorting Hat sorts Harry into the hospital wing - definitely a first in the history of Hogwarts. Set in Harry's first year. How can an illness help him find the power the Dark Lord knows not? Completely AU, partly OOC, sick!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,709 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 9/16/2009 - Published: 9/4/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Phoenix Land by Teddylonglong reviews
Fawkes rescues eight year old phoenix Harry from his relatives and takes him to Phoenix Land, then to Hogwarts to become a professor's as well as an elf's familiar. Will the teachers find out about his identity? Completely AU, partly OOC, Animagus story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,089 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 585 - Follows: 301 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Professors of Old and the Professors of Today by minerva's-kitten reviews
Rating may change. Summary: Something has happened to the teachers and Minerva's parents are the only ones to fix it...with help of the Golden Trio and company of course.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,528 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
Elemental Friends by DancingWithRoses reviews
One of the only untouched rooms after the Battle of Hogwarts was always a sanctuary of four. Four people had access to it and it had four walls, four chairs, four doors and, essentially, four different color schemes. One-shot. ADMM SSXH FFPS HSPP implied
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Minerva M., Poppy P. - Complete
Dolores Bested by minerva's-kitten reviews
Summary: Dolores makes a shattering discovering! MMSS but with a twist! ADMM as well
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Minerva M., Severus S. - Complete
An Essay by Loonynamelass reviews
The tired Arithmancy professor was just grading exams when she found a jewel among the rocks. However, the more she read, the more she was convinced there was something sinister lurking under the surface. One-shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,644 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/6/2009 - S. Vector, Hermione G. - Complete
Magical Twins by Teddylonglong reviews
When eight-year-old Dudley's magic suddenly manifests, Vernon throws Dudley and Harry out, and the two flee together, finally ending up in Minerva's and Severus' care. Completely AU, partly OOC, mentioning abuse!Dursleys, sick!Harry/Dudley/Severus.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,821 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
Bellatrix Lestrange and the Cookies of Doom by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
Lucius is in Azkaban. Draco and Narcissa are chronically depressed, so Bellatrix decides to cheer them up. Chocolate chip cookies make everyone happy. Right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,839 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Complete
Let's Have Fun! by minerva's-kitten reviews
Karaoke Contest Dumbledore Family Style! At the End the Reviews decide the Winners! Every chapter is a contestant/s. Have fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,004 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
The Weasley Twins versus The Sorting Hat by Teddylonglong reviews
ONE-SHOT. The Sorting Hat places Fred and George in different Houses, and they don't really like it... Involvs the twins, some kind of mischief, Dumbledore, lemon drops, Snape, Pomfrey, Charlie, Fawkes and the Hat. Completely AU, partly injured!twins
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,757 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 5/17/2009 - George W., Fred W. - Complete
Kat and Fi by minerva's-kitten reviews
Summary: Harry is about to learn just where Minerva McGonagall comes from. He'll also help Minerva's mother get she and Albus together. After all...what are meddling mother's for? XD ADMM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 51,435 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Minerva M., Harry P. - Complete
When the Students are Away, the Staff Will Play by JKMcGonagall reviews
The school year is over and the staff gathers to celebrate. Albus partakes a little too much of the firewhiskey and Minerva has to undo the chaos. What kind of secrets will come out?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,517 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Harry's Letter to Father Christmas by Teddylonglong reviews
Eight-year-old Harry writes a letter to Father Christmas like every year. Will Father Christmas listen to him for once? Completely AU, partly OOC, Abuse/Neglect!Dursleys, sick!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,886 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 12/24/2008 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Breakfast by lost logic reviews
What are the professors up to when the students aren't around? Betting on the students? Surely not! Find out what's got Hooch breaking out the Monopoly, why Trelawny is on the edge of her seat, and what our favourite Gryffindors have to do with it! R/Hr
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,825 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/16/2008 - R. Hooch - Complete
The Expedition by Stefdarlin reviews
AU! Filius finally decides to tell Pomona how he feels, but it might be too late. Suggested AD/MM. Almost tragic romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,789 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/26/2008 - F. Flitwick, P. Sprout - Complete
The Hogwarts Blog by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
Dumbledore has started a blog. Read thoughts from Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Snape and even Voldemort! Moderately AU. Coauthored with a friend of mine. Rated T to be safe. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 169 - Words: 119,319 - Reviews: 3779 - Favs: 924 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Baiting Lockhart by lost logic reviews
No one likes Lockhart, the staff is scared, the headmaster is sulking, and Minerva is about to commit homicide. Why? Because Rolanda Hooch has a plan and Severus Snape is along for the ride. She's gonna see it through to the end, you should too.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,249 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/13/2008 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Minerva M., Albus D. - Complete
The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg The Impaler reviews
It's Lord Voldemort's blog, complete with comments from his most loyal Death Eaters. Voldy dispenses advice on everything from germ prevention to murder methods to shoes to Power Rangers... but is he posting too much personal info online?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,317 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 4/23/2007 - Voldemort
Now is Perfect by MMADfan reviews
Discovering what it is you want may help you find it when the time is right. Fluffy, romantic one-shot. Pre-romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,432 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/2/2008 - [F. Flitwick, P. Sprout] Poppy P., Horace S. - Complete
To Cheat the Reaper by Aedammair reviews
The intelligent part of him recognizes she’s a little more upset than she’s letting on, mostly because the intelligent part of him is painfully aware of the textbooks she’s slamming onto the floor not three feet from where he’s standing. Snape/Sinistra
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Published: 5/5/2008 - A. Sinistra, Severus S. - Complete
Mischeif Maker by lost logic reviews
this was posted before but i had to make some changes. Minerva has a secret and one night at Grimauld place it comes out!Heavy OOCness and hopefully some laughs. One shot. Tell me watcha think, review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,013 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Minerva M. - Complete
A Hero by Celebony reviews
Dudley begins to see his family in a different light. Warning: strong language and themes of child abuse. WINNER: Best One-Shot at Quibbler Awards
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 1322 - Favs: 6,882 - Follows: 892 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dudley D., Harry P. - Complete
T'was the Night Before Christmas by GenkaiFan reviews
Arabella Figg decides to forward five year old Harry’s Christmas letter. One shot. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,624 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 851 - Follows: 151 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Harry P., Arabella F. - Complete
Back From the Dead by SlytherinsScribe reviews
It's seven years after the war, and all the people that Voldemort and his inner circle killed are coming back to life. This story generally follows Lily and James Potter as they try to find Harry. See what happens...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 47,953 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
In St Mungo's by Wisecrack Idiots reviews
The Transfiguration teacher gave the merest flicker of a smile now, dreamily thinking of giving Peeves the direct order to have the bust of Paracelsus thrown at Dolores's head. In due time... A/N: Fluff for Minerva McGonagall. Takes place in OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,713 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Minerva M. - Complete
Truth Amid the Lies by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
Complete! AU, based in Dangerverse but stands alone. They were not killed that night, but cursed forward in time five years. Now their son is missing, along with almost all their living friends, and the only one left tells reporters she knows nothing...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 11 - Words: 49,522 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 1/8/2008 - Published: 1/15/2006 - Complete
Birthday Cake by Ladybug21 reviews
Set the date at Albus Dumbledore's 150th birthday. Add three forgetful Hogwarts Heads of Houses, two mischievous redheaded twins, an inebriated Seer, a toadlike witch, house elves, and some cake batter. The result? Utter chaos, mayhem, and loads of fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,524 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Severus S., Minerva M., P. Sprout, Sybill T. - Complete
Charming Moments by Always Hopeful reviews
My first FFPS story. ONESHOT! COMPLETE! Fil is unsure about the propriety of his newfound relationship. They are, after all, coworkers. But with a little help... Some MMADness!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,255 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/1/2007 - F. Flitwick, P. Sprout - Complete
Just A Dance by OSUSprinks reviews
written for the Hideaway FiliusPomona Pomona is a bit embarrassed about not knowing how to dance and FIlius offers to teach her. After all, it's just a dance.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,726 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2007 - F. Flitwick, P. Sprout - Complete
Miscues by Qoheleth reviews
In which a misunderstanding arises about the meaning of the word "billiard", 4,000,000,000,000,000 Bludgers attack Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement eats a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, and Argus Filch saves the day, not necessarily in that order.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,772 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/3/2007 - S. Vector, Argus F. - Complete
The Lioness, the Snake and the School Nurse by minniequill reviews
The two most feared Professor's are scared of who?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,905 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 21 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Minerva M., Severus S. - Complete
Who Am I? by Always Hopeful reviews
During the final battle with Lord Voldemort, Minerva is hit by a flying spell and forgets who she is. Can Albus and the rest of the Hogwarts staff help her to remember who she is? And will Albus find the courage to tell her he loves her?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 65,634 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/14/2006 - Published: 6/30/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Just a Random Tuesday… by Twisted Biscuit reviews
A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it’s a wonder she’s as nice as she is.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 58,525 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 1,803 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 8/26/2006 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
104 Ways to Get Killed by Lucius Malfoy by kakashisninjadogs reviews
A list on how to AnnoyHarassDisgust or Generally Scare Lucius Malfoy. This list includes evil unicorns and Led Zeppelin loolalikes. Rated T to be safe.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,188 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/6/2006 - Published: 4/1/2006 - Lucius M.
The Tomb of the Heroes by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
The Tomb of the Heroes stands in the cemetery at Godric's Hollow. It holds nine bodies and the ashes of three, and on the top burns an eternal flame... Dangerverse, very sad, end of war oneshot. BYOT.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,541 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Complete
Nighttime Run Daylight Stroll by SmellyCat190 reviews
ONESHOT A nighttime stroll finds the Trio, Hooch, a reluctant Snape and a 'borrowed' Sinistra running from finding the Headmaster and his Deputy in a compromising position. ADMM
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,089 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/20/2005 - Albus D., Minerva M. - Complete
Maybe by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
Now complete! AU of “Living with Danger” – did not actually happen in the story's universe, but could have. Possible alternate outcome of a major crossroads in the story. And yes, I know, an AU of an AU, a bit pathetic... hope you like it anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 55,772 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/6/2005 - Published: 4/23/2005 - Complete
To be Hufflepuff by Ciircee reviews
The First Year Hufflepuffs learn what it really means to be sorted into Hufflepuff House. Borrows from Arabella's 'Before the Beginning'.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,232 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/19/2002
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Collaboration reviews
The students of Frobisher Academy are brought to Hogwarts for protection after the Quidditch World Cup. And they're just in time for the Triwizard Tournament...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,101 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/11/2013
Until The Very End reviews
She'd stay with him, until the very end.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/24/2013 - Victor R., Vera D. - Complete
The Light in the Darkness
She was the light in his darkness, the only star in an otherwise empty sky.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Victor R., Vera D. - Complete
Help reviews
Vera's been hiding a dark secret. When it comes out, Victor helps her heal. Maybe slightly AU.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,708 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Vera D., Victor R.
Minerva's thoughts following her attack during OotP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Published: 8/2/2012 - Minerva M. - Complete
Sortings reviews
Every year, the Founders watch the Sorting from the shadows, appearing only to students when they have been proved worthy, in most cases after the Sorting. These are some of the more interesting Sortings which they witnessed. Appearances in another story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,324 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 7/30/2012 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Rowena R., Helga H., Godric G., Salazar S.
Anno Fatalis reviews
Join Minerva McGonagall and friends as they navigate their sixth year. Unfortunately, annoying family members, homework and the school bullies await them at every turn. But that's nothing compared to the infamous Chamber of Secrets...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,522 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Minerva M., Tom R. Jr.
Arguments reviews
One-shot. Some of the gods get into an argument, and someone else gets hurt. Hera's POV.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/10/2012 - Hera - Complete
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