Author has written 1 story for Rise of the Guardians.
(Icon/Avatar credit goes to @ItsLopez on Instagram.)
Why hello there.
If you happen to be reading this for information on myself I will not be doing so, but I am flattered you'd like to get to know me (Just kidding, obviously no one wants to get to know me XD).
The only thing you need to know is I am an awkward antisocial dweeb who says 'and such' and 'so yeah' a lot.
Okay bye. DISCLAIMER: Most everything from this point on has been copied and pasted from other profiles through the years .-.
Ladies and gentlemen, skinny and stout
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about
Admission is free so pay at the door
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled their swords and shot each other.
A blind man came to watch fair play
A mute man came to shout "Hooray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to stop those two dead boys.
He lived on the corner in the middle of the block
A two story-house on a vacant lot
A man with no legs came walking by
And kicked the lawman in the thigh.
He crashed through the wall without making a sound
Into a dry creekbed and suddenly drowned
The long back hearse came to cart him away
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.
I watched from my corner of the big round table
The only eyewitness to the facts of my fable
But if you doubt my lies are true
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too!
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
The road to success is always under construction
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately kills all its pupils
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened
I didn't trip! I was testing gravity... It works!
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer that steps back to admire his work.
When life gives you lemons, thrust them back with gusto and demand chocolate chip cookies
There are those who say that nothing is impossible; CLEARLY they have never tried to slam a revolving door
(\_/) This is bunny. Copy and paste
(*'.'*) bunny onto your page to help
(")_(") him gain world domination!
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! And the dark side is sooo much better than the good side!
9. You get to wear a white lab coat! (ooh la la)
10. You can access our stock of cool evil gadgets. (aka a blender and toaster.)
11. You get to wear tall black shiny boots and a black shiny belt. (NO SUSPENDERS! WE'RE NOT FIREFIGHTERS OR PEOPLE WHOSE PANTS FALL DOWN!)
12. You get to wear creepy masks.
13. Keyword: Power! You get lots of it.
14. All of the black capes have cool inside pockets to hold my secret bunny collection. Did I just say that out loud?
15. We get a vacation unlike the Jedi's.
16. We can do dangerous things like sky diving or eating chili or sunbathing. (Though it is hard to sunbathe when you are wearing black.)
17. We get to order our minions around.
18. When no one is looking, we have funny faces contests.
19. We love to mix stuff in the blenders and dare each other to drink it.
20. Sometimes, we hijack the TV studios and make our own commercials.
21. You get to act stupid any time and people are to afraid to laugh at you.
22. The reason you joined.
Alright no more profile so move along, nothing to see here. Thanks for reading my stories I love you buh-bye.