Lazarus.357
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Joined 02-03-12, id: 3691977, Profile Updated: 11-30-13
Author has written 1 story for S.T.A.L.K.E.R..

I'm a cranky old crumudgeon, a retired military officer, diagnosed as clinically depressed with PTSD and anger management issues...so I'll apologize in advance.

Some life lessons that I've found useful over the last 57 years.

Be kind and polite to everyone you meet...but always make sure you know all the exits and have a plan to kill everyone in the room if you need to.

If the road ahead is smooth, it is probably mined.
If the road is rocky, it is probably covered by fire.
If the road ahead looks easy, you are probably walking into an ambush.

"You can die a hero, or you can live long enough to become the villain."

"Any sufficiently advanced Technology will look like Magic." - Arthur C. Clarke

"Any sufficiently advanced Magic will look like technology" - Rick Cook

Samuel L. Clemens (aka Mark Twain) was a philosopher with a darned good outlook on life - here are some of my favorite quotes:

“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

Approve of yourself.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Your limitations may just be in your mind.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

Lighten up and have some fun.

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Let go of anger.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.

“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

Keep your focus steadily on what you want.

“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”

Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

Do what you want to do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

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Ace In The Hole by tiptonskin reviews
This is my first attempt at writing a story in a long time, but i have had this going on in my head since the show went off air... its mainly SGA but SG1 characters will be included oh and it probably will become a bit of a slash/fic... hope u like.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 67 - Words: 156,750 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10/28/2014 - Published: 2/21/2011 - John S.
Promises by Gabiroba reviews
Post Threads. They honor their dead, and then they honor their promises. Mark Carter discovers just how close knit his sister's friendships are, and how far they are willing to go for one another. Some humor and Romance along the way as well.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,988 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 1/10/2014 - Published: 2/1/2012 - S. Carter, J. O'Neill
My Mommy, the Hok'tar by mmooch reviews
Buffy's pregnant, but who's the lucky guy? Pairing unsure for now. WARNING: Character death.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,921 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 10/4/2013 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Buffy S.
Best Job Share Ever? by Jedi Buttercup reviews
This wasn't exactly what Buffy had been expecting when she'd offered her hot chick with superpowers self up to Nick Fury for joint world saveage. (POST-AVENGERS; POST-IM3 as of Chapter 9).
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,679 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 8/12/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Buffy S., Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B., Pepper P. - Complete
Skipping by missmissa85 reviews
You don't just skip through sixty years of American history. The results are often quite painful, as a young intern has to explain to an Army captain out of his era. .
Crossover - Thor & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 124,265 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 1,028 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Darcy L., Captain America/Steve R.
What If They Don't Come Back by Rude's Mom reviews
What would happen Buffy never returned after season two? What if Daniel didn't return in season seven of Stargate: SG-1?
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 35,200 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 1/15/2013 - Published: 6/6/2004 - Buffy S., D. Jackson
Broca Baby by Nadie2 reviews
This story is an AU in which Jack gets infected with the Broca virus earlier resulting in something neither he nor Sam is prepared for. Together they deal with the demons of their past while preparing for an unexpected future. This story is angsty in the beginning, but will have a strong Sam/Jack pairing.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 170,795 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 1/13/2013 - Published: 10/13/2012 - S. Carter, J. O'Neill - Complete
Parking Spots and Shampoo Bottles by Nazmuko reviews
Clone!fic. There's a new girl in Jonathan's school. This is a story about how their relationship develops from awkward friendship to something more, one step at a time. Jack's clone/Sam's clone
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 33,930 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 12/19/2012 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Jonathan O. - Complete
The Other Side by Oxnate reviews
Just in time for Halloween. YAHF. Xander thought his outfit would be ironic. But it stopped being funny when he got stuck. Now he gets to see the world from the other side. -Complete
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Underworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,560 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 12/3/2012 - Published: 10/29/2012 - Xander H. - Complete
Off on the Wrong Foot by Tiffany Park reviews
On Halloween, Colonel Makepeace suffers through alien and human invasions. Occurs about a week after "Chamber of Horrors."
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,151 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/29/2012 - Complete
Belonging by Nadie2 reviews
Au in which focuses on Daniel and Sha're's family life. Catherine, Ernest, Vala, McKay, Janet, Jonas Quinn, and Sha're's mom also play a roll. Partner story to "Instead". Daniel/Shau'ri
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 78,556 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 10/12/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - D. Jackson, Sha're - Complete
Three Humans, a Jaffa, and a baby by Nadie2 reviews
A strange alien device leaves SG-1 with a rapidly growing infant who has a mix of their DNA and the sum total of the knowledge they've acquired. Will eventually cover seassons seven through ten. Shippy, but not right away. S/J. D/V.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 52,821 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 7/14/2012 - S. Carter, J. O'Neill - Complete
Instead by Nadie2 reviews
This story is an AU story in which Sam and Jack start dating before either joins the stargate program. It focuses on their family life, but alien and alien viruses are highly involved in that family life. Starts mid 1980's.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 22 - Words: 128,831 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 4/26/2012 - Published: 1/2/2012 - J. O'Neill, S. Carter/Sam - Complete
Stargate Reopened by andrewjameswilliams reviews
Joint fic with Keiran Halcyon and Wolf of Dawn. An AU reimagination of Stargate SG-1.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 78,256 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 900 - Follows: 864 - Updated: 2/28/2012 - Published: 11/12/2010
Strangers on a Train by CSIGurlie07 reviews
It began with a train ride. Jack isn't sure he wants it to end. And he doesn't know why. Set during the vague "One Year" of Continuum. Spoilers abound. Rating may go up later. NOW COMPLETE!
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 139,697 - Reviews: 1170 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 2/17/2012 - Published: 9/15/2011 - J. O'Neill, S. Carter - Complete
Turn Around by mamageek reviews
After the beginning of her leave goes horribly wrong, Sam turns to Daniel for comfort. Sam/Daniel with some Sam/Jack at the beginning. Rated for sex and language in later chapters.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,243 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 11/7/2011 - S. Carter, D. Jackson
A Whole New World by Oxnate reviews
YAHF - Challenge response. Xander goes as a character from Wormhole X-treme and gets more than he bargained for.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 107,306 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 11/9/2011 - Published: 10/1/2011
Slayer's Gate by Firewolfe reviews
The Prime Minister asks The Council to Purchace the Star Gate to keep it out of the Trust's hands. What happens when Loki and Nerti decide to step in and meet the gang?
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 31,192 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 11/3/2011 - Published: 7/16/2011 - Dawn S., Jonathan O.
Voices Like Thunder by Jedi Buttercup reviews
Life after the Apocalypse, Slayer Style, among the Massachusetts Militia. COMPLETE.
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Falling Skies - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,190 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Buffy S., Tom M. - Complete
Unspoken Rules of the SGC by Alex Mcpherson reviews
Stargate Command has quite a few 'unspoken' rules, and sometimes for very good reason
Crossover - Buffy: The Vampire Slayer & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,152 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 26 - Published: 8/25/2011
Snow by Black Hawk reviews
Perhaps the Ancients aren't as distant as we once thought.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 80,065 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 12/19/2002 - J. Quinn, D. Jackson
Not missing you by OzGeek reviews
McAbby set between seasons 5 and 6. Abby and McGee miss each other while they are apart. Written for MrsMcGee in the NFA Secret Santa. See my profile for the Secret Santa stories link. 4 Chapters. Spoilers for end season 5.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,129 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/10/2009 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Tim M., Abby S. - Complete
Call Of Buffalo
What if an Event such as the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone happened in America? Would it be handled differently?
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Published: 12/18/2013