Author has written 4 stories for Maximum Ride, and Vampire Knight.
Hi peoples I am obviously SimplyTwisted formally demonicangel7. You may also know me as dark angel / devil incarnate. My favorite series are maximum ride, avatar the last air bender and black butler. I can't spell worth the crap.
...ATTACK OF THE SEXY DEMON BUTLERS!!! ...
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I dont like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sence of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an overcontrolling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY alot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be overcontrolling and a bitch.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm emo so i MUST cut myself.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.(im not actually but i wish i was... does that count?)
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser (nope just da freak!!)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
"I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue."
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.(im called one all the time sooo it counts right..?)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean."
I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.(strongish..)
I don't want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (its true though so...)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.
Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?
I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."
You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters start looking amazingly HOT!
Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.
So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.
I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.
I love my computer, because my friends live in it.
I'm the person your mother warned you about
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
I hear voices, and they don't like you.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.
When life gives you lemons, smash 'em with a mallet and scream "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!"
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. (LOL THIS IS FUNNY:))
I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to
95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!
92% Of the teen population would be dead if Edward Cullen said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore! Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your head off!
If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber disappeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!"
90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump bitch!
You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat.
Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
Be yourself. That's crazy enough.
You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.
They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.
The trouble with real life is that there is no background music
I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere
Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.
Forecast for tonight: darkness
If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?
I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
Hell is full of musical amateurs
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line
I'm not random I just have many thoughts
I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes
-sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!
If you had a life you would stop talking about mine
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking
The below statement is true
The above statement is false
Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.(With my Master of course!)
Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.
People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs
In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!
Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
God must love stupid people...he made so many
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.
Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.
PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.
I have a dream and in it, something eats you.
Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.
Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.
Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!
I called Sasuke gay and he hit me with his purse.
I met Nicole Richie!! No wait, that might've been a twig...
Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!
Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?
You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.
I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.
By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life
I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday
Hi! I'm human. What're you?
Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!
Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.
If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
Wherever there is life there is love I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident
Sometimes all we need are each other Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.
Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet
A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?
One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.
When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.
I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...
When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CEILING!?
Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?
We are the people our parents warned us about!
If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?
Some people are like slinkies... they're really good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs! ( )
I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!
I love this RETARD I call my BEST FRIEND!!
I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face!
Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?
If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!!
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer?
The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."
Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
You're stupid, I'm stupid, but at least we're stupid together. It'd be too confusing if one of us were smart. _
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