Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.
A Bit About Me:
Hey guys! I'm snowdevil101!
I am a Beta, please feel free to approach me. Yes, I also have a Beta (SkyeElf in fact!), but that's just because no one is perfect!
Add me on any!
The Harry Potter me:
House: Gryffindorand . But I was almost a Slytherin!
Animagus: On lots of websites I'm a dog. Also sometimes a fox.
Patronus: Fox or dog.
Wand: Cherry Wood, Flexible, 9 3/4 inches, Phoenix Feather.
Published: 2nd July 2012
Status: In Progress
After the murder of Harry Potter, fiance Ginny is devestated, and decides to leave immediately along with Hermione. She meets another man to love, Draco Malfoy, and they are together for over two years. But what happens when the murder Boy Who Lived was in fact no murder? What happens when the truth is revealed? Which of the two is the man of her dreams?
03/09/12 Chapter 3 is up! Sorry for the long time since I updated, and look out for new chapters soon!
24/09/12 And Chapter 4 is up! Sorry for a longish wait, please please please read it!
30/05/13 ON HIATUS FOR A WHILE. WILL BE UPDATED IN AROUND FIVE WEEKS. SORRY FOR THE WAIT.
Truth or Dare with extras!
Published: 14th March 2012
It was nearly midnight. Everyone was in bed. Everyone, that is, apart from some people in an unused classroom. Students were out of bed, and taking part in a certain game named Truth, Dare or Double Dare, Order, Kiss or Swear…
All I can say: ITS FINALLY COMPLETED!!!
You'll Regret It
Published: 6th June 2012
So, James pranked Lily. The natural reaction is to prank back. Remus and Sirius want revenge, and to top it all off, what the hell is going on with Peter? This is a Marauders fic about pranking. There is no real plot line, just pranks. Also, it is not really James/Lily, just to warn you. Rating may change to T. Please read and review!
Also finally completed now...
Published: 8th October 2012
"I was waiting. He always came back. Always. Every fight we'd had. He'd come back, and we would comfort each other. I was waiting for him to come back. But this time, I had gone too far. Would he really come back and love me like before?" Oneshot. Harry/Ginny and hints of Harry/Cho. Please please please read and review!
Hush, little sister Please don't cry I wish I could be there To sing you a lullaby
I can see your arms Bloodied and bruised That's strange, little sister Mine were like that too
I know you scream When Daddy's there Hush, little sister I know you're scared
I can see the way He's hurting you I'm sorry, little sister He did that to me too
I know that people Ignore what's going on at home That makes me angry, little sister You shouldn't have to be alone
Hey, little sister You wanna know why I'm not there? It's a sad story, little sister But people should care
You see, little sister One day Daddy got high You were asleep in your crib So you didn't hear my cry
He screamed at me And smashed my head against the door While you slept, little sister I died on the floor
You know, little sister I don't think that I would have died If someone had only bothered To listen to my cries
But hush, little sister Daddy's coming home Quick, get into bed You don't want him to find you alone
I'm sorry little sister He's in a bad mood Run while you can
Uh oh little sister He's lifting his belt Scream while you can, little sister Call for help
Hush little sister You don't need to cry No one can hurt you You're in my arms tonight.
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.
Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual instructions on consumer goods.
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Funny things to do in a lift:
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at every floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button.
10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor thensay to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.
23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift as you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!"
26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring-don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.
35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."
38. Say your Majesty when anybody gets on.
39. Introduce yourself as Lord Voldemort.
40. Ask people which floor they want and why, and then announce that you're going to the floor with Olympus on it because you didn't steal any lightening.
41. Hang Ethan Hunt style from the ceiling of the elevator and speak ominously when someone enters "Hellloooooooo"
42. Still hanging from the ceiling, drop onto
whoever comes in.
43. Try to make up and sing lyrics for the boring elevator music.
44. Try to start a My-Briefcase-is-better-than-yours contest.
Funny Things to do at WalMart:
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
3. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
4. Leave cryptic messages on the computors.
5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
7. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″.
8. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
9. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
10. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
11. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
12. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
13. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
14. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
16.Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him “I need some tampons!!”
17. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
18. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
19. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
20. Fill your cart with boxes of diapers, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
21. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
22. Get boxes of nappies and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking!
23. Excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
Funny things to do in an exam:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)
15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Act spazzy
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
Other funny stuff:
Being mature is overrated.
Growing old is mandatory... growing up is optional...
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!
Sarcasm is my body’s natural defense against stupidity.
97% of people believe whatever you say as long as you include statistics.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
It is a known fact that 96% of authors who mysteriously stop updating have been eaten by dragons. The other 4% are hiding in their bath tubs with a fire extinguisher.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Behind every great man is a women rolling her eyes.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into the sewer and die.
The rules only apply if you get caught.
"Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film."
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!
I don't get even, I get odder.
If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
The fact that you think I'm listening to you just shows me how stupid you really are
When life gives you lemons squirt the juice in your enemies eyes
Break my Heart I break your neck
Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss (Not responsible for any injuries sustained from throwing self at floor)
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor
Sometimes violence is the only way to get what you want
Life isn't passing me by it's trying to run me over
I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Hold my purse.'
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...
Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it
There’s nothing wrong with taking to random objects, it’s when they start to talk back that you need to worry.
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up
You and me is friends. You cry, I cry. You smile I smile. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I gonna miss your emails…
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Love comes in many colours
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it.
Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
Love your enemies! It really annoys them!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
I'm not insensitive I just don’t care
The voices in my head don't like you
Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best!
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends; if they're ok, then it's you!
Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.
You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had.
I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous
Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate.
I've heard that it’s possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. (Besides, what’s the fun in that?)
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out
I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain; I need that.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide
I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn’t for everyone
Excuse me have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it
I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me there
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide
Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
Tell the truth and run, fast
If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something
Education is important. School however, is another matter.
I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends
You can talk to inanimate objects, but when they talk back, you know something’s wrong
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...I wonder...
Roses are red,
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Unfortunately, you can't die of a broken heart.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over
If you know me, chances are you hate me.
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away…
Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I will love you until the last rose dies."
Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.
Sometimes you make me so mad I want to throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bull crap."
People say love is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?
You call me crazy, I've been called worse by the voices in my head.
You call me crazy like it’s the ultimate insult but I just stare at you blankly and say "So"
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option.
If you live to be 100, I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
When you said you hated me I felt all fuzzy inside. I wonder why.
Twilight made me realize... Real life is extremely boring.
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burnt in Spanish.
If he's dumb enough to walk away, then be smart enough to let him go.
Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent
It’s a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name
I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck
“Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your butt down. Can’t face me? Then flippin’ turn around!”
Sarcastic! Me? Never!
If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?
Sometimes I wonder ' Why is that Frisbee getting bigger' and then it hits me...
If you don't like me there is nothing I can do. Newsflash: I don't live to please you.
Come to the Dark Side, We Have Cookies!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up! oh the irony
I took a pain pill. Why are you STILL HERE?!
This is NOT the life I ordered...
It's not "When wild animals attack!!" It's more like "When stupid/careless people get bit!"
...Heaven won't have me, and Hell is afraid I might take over so I guess I'm stuck here...
A wise MAN once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman,"
It's so simple to be wise! Just think of something stupid to say and then say the exact opposite...
Love your enemies, it pisses them off.
NEVER take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways...
And just when I found the key to success...someone goes and changes all the locks!!
I used to have a handle on life... and then it broke.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt!!...then it's hysterical.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.
There's always light at the end of the tunnel...just pray it's not a train.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM!!'
I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard is not what I meant.
A solar eclipse is just a moment without sun. A moment without sun is well...you know... night.
Please remind me again. If time is on your side, then what's on the other??
There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.
5 in every 4 people can't do fractions.
Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.
If I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong.
I don't speak Idiot fluently so please speak slowly and clearly.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Don't blame yourself. Let me do it.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it'll be hard to pronounce!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but It's still on the list.
You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your butt.
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
25 Reasons Why I Owe My Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Friends vs. Best Friends:
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN... but it was fun!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only knows a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already knows not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
Harry Potter Stuff:
If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account.
If you miss Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black *DEFINITELY!, Albus Dumbledore , Alastor Moody, Hedwig, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Fred Weasley, put this in your profile.
If you are a die hard, no hope for cure Harry Potter fan, copy and paste this into your profile
You know your addiction to Harry Potter is getting dangerous when you've added words like "Voldemort", "Hogwarts", and "Marauders" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done that, copy this into your profile.
If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this to your profile.
If you believe that J.K.R is really Hogwarts alumni pretending Harry Potter is fictional, copy and paste this to you profile.
If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile. *I'm over the age 11 and I'm still waiting for it and always will be*
If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville (not that there's anything wrong with Molly Weasley kicking her butt), copy and paste this into your profile.
If mythical creatures exist (dragons, unicorns, phoenixes, hippogriffs, etc.), copy this onto your profile! (They do! I know it!!)
Normal World VS Harry Potter World
Copy and paste if living in the Harry Potter realm would make life more interesting.
Normal World: Own a pencil
Wizard World: Own a wand
Normal World: Accomplishment to be able to name all Kardashians
Wizard World: Accomplishment to be able to name all Weasleys :D
Normal World: Scared of terrorists, robbers, etc.
Wizard World: Scared of dementors, Voldemort, etc.
Normal World: Go to the mall for all your shopping needs.
Wizard World: Go to Diagon Alley for your shopping needs.
Normal World: Teens want a car.
Wizard World: Teens want a broom.
Normal World: Talk back to teacher and you get detention.
Wizard World: Talk back to teacher and you get turned into a frog.
Normal World: Play football.
Wizard World: Play Quidditch.
Normal World: Has dollars, nickels, pennies, etc.
Wizard World: Has galleons, knuts, sickles, etc.
Normal World: Had Hitler
Wizard World: Had Voldemort
Normal World: Has celebrities like Justin Bieber, Rihanna etc.
Wizard World: Has celebrities like Harry Potter.
Normal World: Can kill people by guns.
Wizard World: Can kill people by killing curse.
Who doesn't love the Wizard world?!?!?!?
"The stories we love best do live in us forever; whether you come back by page, or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home"... One sentence, to bring it all back.
Re-post if you will stick with Harry, until the very end. Until the spines of your books are weakened and the pages are falling out, until you're 80 years old and sitting in your rocking chair, reading the Philosopher's (Sorcerer's) Stone, and your family asks you "After all this time?" and you say "Always."
Re-post if Harry Potter has been your light in the darkest of times, and has given you happiness.
Re-post if you believe we'll miss the train ride in, and the pranks pulled by the twins, although it's nowhere we've been, we'll keep smiling on, from the times we had with them.
Re-post if you owe JK Rowling, Tom Felton, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Evanna Lynch, Bonnie Wright, Matthew Lewis, and the rest of the cast of HP your childhood.
Re-post if HP has changed you.
Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prong present: Symptons of Insanity
1.) Playing with your food and calling it 'art'
2.) Making a list of symptoms that most likely apply to yourself as well.
3.) Basing your ingredients list off your obsession's favorite color.
4.) Eating dog food. For ANY reason!
5.) Chasing your tail.
6.) Laughing for absolutely no reason. None.
7.) Waking up at an Ungodly hour every. Single. Day.
8.) Reading a book CLEARLY meant for Girls. And then trying to defend it.
9.) Actually WANTING to be on a list of insane things.
10.) Treating your own son like dirt when he NEVER deserves it.
11.) Acting like the things your family says or does is your fault, when it's obviously not.
13.) Spontaniously bursting out into song at the most inappropriate/ inopportune/ awkward times.
14.) Accepting ANYTHING from Peeves! Especially strange packages, and then handing them off to your FRIENDS!(because said friends may try to kill you).
15.) WEARING the Christmas decorations (even if they do look better that way).
16.) Almost getting yourself killed on a regular basis out of BOREDOME!
17.) Dancing in the rain.
18.) Befriending a werewolf.
19.) Befriending a Quidditch-obsessed, love-sick puppy who can't even keep his hair flat.
20.) Befriending a walking bully-magnet who can't even take a spelling test without hyperventilating.
21.) Befriending an egotistical, pranking-machine who seems to be in a constant state of sugar-high.
22.) Glaring at inanimate objects to "scare them".
23.) Yelling at someone right next to you.
24.) Walking into a room and forgetting what you're doing.
25.) Completely LOSING IT over a lack of organization.
26.) Having to wear post-its on your arm to remember anything.
27.) Obeying the commands of random post-its on your arm without question when they make NO sense and clearly weren't written by you.
28.) Falling in Love.
29.) Fighting with your own team.
30.) Creating an army of first-years to do your biding.
31.) Creating a chain of letters instead of just simply writing to each other directly like normal.
32.) Talking in Chat Speak.
33.) Switching personalities to scare the poor little first-years.
34.) Spending your class time drawing suicidal stick figures.
35.) Being convinced your friend is an imposter simply because he took notes.
36.) Referring to yourself in the third person.
37.) Braiding people's hair every time you get bored.
38.) Losing your wand when it's behind your ear the whole time.
39.) Becoming so tired, you actually become super hyper.
40.) Breaking a record through pranking.
41.) Speaking all grammatical symbols (Period).
42.) -!( DRAMATIC ENTRANCES!)!-
43.) Wrapping people.
44.) Making your hair holiday themed.
46.) Stress Baking
49.) Trying to prank the MASTERS!
51.) Overly dramatic public displays of affection
52.) Switching names
53.) BETRAYING YOUR FRIENDS
55.) Breaking things for fun.
56.) Running away
57.) Sound effects.
58.) Overreacting to everything
60.) Growing Up
Growing up, Mrs. Weasley was my mother. Mr. Weasley was my father.
Ginny was my sister. Neville was my younger brother. Gred and Forge were my older brothers.
Tonks was my aunt. Remus and Sirius were my amazing uncles.
Hermione and Ron were my best friends. Bill and Fleur were my babysitters.
Dragons were my pets.
Growing up, HP was my family. I'm proud to say that I'm a Potterhead.
If your childhood was Harry Potter and you will disown any of your children who say otherwise, repost this or I'll surgically remove my nose and kill you in your sleep :)
"Dear Mr. Potter, You have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..." One sentence to change millions of lives, to begin a decade...
..."Harry Potter... the boy who lived... come to die..." One sentence to end -an era -a lifetime... everything.
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