Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, and Glee.
Rest in peace Cory Montieth.
Finn might not have been my favorite character, but he was always there, a part of New Directions. He held them together and kept them believing. Glee just isn't the same without him.
Forever in our hearts.
Hi all! I honestly can't remember my life without fanfiction and my fandoms. I'm always open to new ideas, especially for Snapshots of a Golden Age, my Chronicles of Narnia Golden Age one-shot series. I'm also always willing to make fic recommendations for some of the ships listed under "Ships" (the ones with a *) and put my extensive hurt/comfort archive-searching to good use. Welcome to my crazy-long profile.
Godly Parent: Daughter of Poseidon
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, of course the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor, Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan, The Chronicles of Narniaby C.S. Lewis, The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Claire:
Favorite Movies: The Sound of Music, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, Ender's Game, The Artist, The Lion King, Les Miserables, Lincoln
Favorite Musicals/Plays: Wicked, Les Miserables, Romeo and Juliet, The Laramie Project
Favorite Bands: Beyoncé, Adele, Lea Michelle, Troye Sivan, Glee Cast, Simple Plan, A Great Big World, Goo Goo Dolls, The Script
(will open in a new )--pretty much everything listed under "Fandoms," as well as danisnotonfire (Dan Howell), AmazingPhil (Phil Lester), Troye Sivan, Tyler Oakley, Connor Franta, social-justice things, and other random stuff If you found me through this site, tell me your pen name so I can go read your stories.
Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus, Lord of the Rings, Ender's Game, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Hunger Games, The Heir Trilogy, The Fault in Our Stars, The Maze Runner, The Mortal , NCIS, Glee, Who, Jessie, Danny Phantom, Good Luck Charlie, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Torchwood, The Fosters, Les Miserables, Wicked.
When I write Narnia stories I generally go with a mix of book- and movie-verse, depending on what the story needs. Book always trumps movie if there are inconsistencies unless the story is specifically movie-based. I see the characters as they are portrayed in the movies: William Mosley as Peter, Anna Popplewell as Susan, Skandar Kaynes as Edmund, Georgie Henley as Lucy, and Ben Barnes as Caspian. I do not write any Suspian, even if the story is Gone).movie-verse (this specifically to
I never write slash or incest for anything.
As a general disclaimer, I do not make any profit off of any of my stories. Anything that is considered canon for any story regardless of fandom is the property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros, C.S. Lewis, Walden Media, Disney, Butch Hartman, Russel T. Davies, BBC, Rick Riordan, Ryan Murphy, and FOX respectively.
My Favorite Characters:
Harry Potter: Hermione, Luna, Fred, and George.
Chronicles of Narnia: Edmund (he's my favorite), Peter, Susan, Lucy, Phillip, Orieus.
Glee: Kurt, Blaine, Rory, Artie, Finn, Mercedes, Tina, Eliott, and Burt. I really love Burt.
The Fosters: Jude, Jesus, Mariana, Callie, Lena, Stef, Brandon
Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus: Leo, Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Piper, Hazel, Jason, Frank, and Travis & Connor Stoll.
The Mortal : Alec, Simon, Max, Jace, Clary, Isabelle
NCIS: Abby, Ziva, McGee, Tony, Ducky, Vera, and Gibbs.
Who: Rose, 10th , Martha, Donna, the face of Boe.
Jessie: Luke, Ravi, Zuri, Emma, and Jessie.
Good Luck Charlie: Gabe, PJ, Charlie, and Teddi.
Torchwood: Capt. Jack Harkness, Ianto, Tosh, Owen, Rhys, Gwen
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Cody, Zack, London, Moseby
Danny Phantom: Sam, Danny, Jazz, Tucker
Les Mis: Gavroche, Courfeyrac, Enjolras
The Hunger Games: Prim, Katniss
To Kill a Mockingbird: Scout and Jem
Ender's Game: Ender, Alai, Bean, Petra, Dink
The Fault in Our Stars: Augustus, Hazel, Isaac
The Heir Trilogy: Jack, Seph, Jason
The Maze Runner: Newt and Chuck
Mega List of Ships:
Harry Potter: Romione, Hinny, Remus/Tonks, Hagrid/Madame Maxime, Jilly
Glee: *My ultimate OTP is Klaine. Forever and always. *Niff (Nick/Jeff), from foraworldunderserving's AMAZING story, Straight Camp I LOVE the OC pairing Scames. Brittana, Samcedes, Finchel, Wemma, Burt/Carole (Barole?), Quick, and Tike (McTina Cohen Chang-Chang). Everyone else I like single or don't care who they're with.
NCIS: Tiva and McAbby.
The Fosters: Steph/Lena, Callie/Wyatt, Jesus/Emma
Danny Phantom: AmethystOcean (Danny/Sam) I saw this name on Tumblr and thought it was adorable so I've decided to use it from now on
Doctor Who: My OTP is Rose and the tenth Doctor (Tennant),
Torchwood: *Jack/Ianto (OTP), Gwen/Rhys, Tosh/Owen
Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus: Peracbeth (OTP), Piper/Jason (would this be Jiper or Pason? or McGrace?), Frank/Hazel (Frazel?), Caleo, Sollangelo (sorta. I don't know about this one)
The Mortal Instruments: Clary/Jace, Malec (Alec/Magnus)
The Hunger Games: Katniss/Peeta
The Fault in Our Stars: Augustus/Hazel (OTP)
Narnia: I will NEVER ship Suspian. Ever. For reasons I will not bore you with.
Les Mis: Marius/Cosette
Ender's Game: Non-Romantic: Ender/Bean, Ender/Alai
The Heir Trilogy: Jack/Ellen, Linda/Hastings
Various Awesome Quotes:
“The need to write comes from the need to make sense of one’s life and discover one’s usefulness.” -John Cheever
“The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimal or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, ‘They’ll remember me now,’ but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimal becomes a lesion.” -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“It’s embarrassing that we all just walk through life blindly accepting that scrambled eggs are fundamentally associated with mornings.” -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“All representations of things are inherently abstract.” -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“We she better or you sicker, then the stars would not be so terribly crossed, but it is in the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong when he had Cassius note, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars/but in ourselves.’ Easy to say when you’re a Roman senator (or Shakespeare!), but there is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars.” -John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“You can make anything by writing.”― C.S. Lewis
"We read to know that we are not alone" -C.S. Lewis
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke
"Always bring a banana to a party, Rose, remember that." -Doctor Who
"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thign in common: instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views." -Doctor Who
“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.” -Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
“What grinds me the most is we're sending kids out into the world who don't know how to balance a checkbook, don't know how to apply for a loan, don't even know how to properly fill out a job application, but because they know the quadratic formula we consider them prepared for the world.
“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
“There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor is not racing because you are afraid to loose.”
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends-they’ll act like it, anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything-they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them-actually pretty much all of them-are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe
“Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It's a way of understanding it.” - Lloyd Alexander
"It's a good thing to be strange, normalness leads to sadness." -Phil Lester
"You are a human with one life, and it is up to you to make it the best life you can." -Dan Howell
"Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our destiny." -Anonymous
If you like Glee and Klaine (and even if you don't) you need to see these videos. They are incredibly moving and wonderful. If you do watch, I also suggest reading the comments, especially on the first one.
How Klaine Changed the World:
The Story of Klaine (2x06-4x22):
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you or your best friend are insane, copy this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa), copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile
If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself, copy this into your profile.
I'm a klutz. I mean, a MAJOR klutz. As in, I trip over things that aren't there and I accidentally drop quite a few things. If you're a klutz too, then copy and paste this onto your profile (but don't trip!) to fill the world with us unbalanced people!
Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' or 'its' and 'it's' or how to properly use apostrophes. If you happen to understand these mundanely ridiculous facts, copy and paste this into your profile.
Many writers don't know how to properly use commas. If you understand the use of this very important type of punctuation, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate bad grammar and aren't afraid to correct other people's grammar, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remembered, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.
If you ever got hit in the face with a soccer ball, football, etc., copy and paste this onto your profile
You don't have to be a twig to be beautiful. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.
Never stop believing in yourself.
If you think the world's governments should make peace and not war, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you believe every child deserves a chance to grow up and go to school, copy and paste this into your profile
If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want the planet to become more sustainable, copy and paste this into your profile, then go recycle something
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out copy and paste this in your profile.
If you love the Weasley twins copy and paste this in your profile.
If you believe that Fred Weasley shouldn't have died and left George without his twin, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you'll miss the Harry Potter series, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you love Disney and aren't ashamed, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you day-dream about your fictional characters and plot lines in class, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you hate Hannah Montana, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever listened to a song over and over again until your friends were forced to hijack the stereo, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever said something and two seconds later completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word and you do at random moments, copy and paste this in your profile
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
Never stop being yourself.
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile!
If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the freakin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. This also applies (in reverse) to the Trix bunny.
If you love ice cream, copy this and paste this into your profile.
If you strongly support women's rights, copy this and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever fallen on your face and then laughed like an idiot afterward, copy and paste this into your profile BWAHAHA!
If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are tired of politicians who ruin countries, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think child abuse is horrible, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste into your profile (Mission accomplished!).
If you had ever gotten writer's block in a sudden and random moment, copy this to your profile.
Put this in your profile if your trying to be an Author.
If you've ever seriously fangirled about your favorite character(s) from a movie, book, or t.v. show and should be embarrassed about it but aren't, put this on your profile :)
If you refuse to use the words 'retarded' and 'gay,' put this on your profile.
If you think people should stop freaking out about people's sexuality and should focus on things that are actually worth freaking out over, put this on your profile.
I'm one of the people who HATE stereotypes! Post this on your profile if you do too. Bold are the ones i am
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRATIC, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm ADOPTED, so I MUST be unwanted or useless.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS/BI'S/LESBIANS, so I must be GAY/BI/LESBIAN TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK, so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED, so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so, I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told).
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
My BESTIE is BI, so I MUST be BI TOO.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m am FRIENDS with CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled
I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed, and arrogant.
I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo, not very good at it, and kind of hate writing.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the MOST POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT ONLINE, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST worship Satan.
I CUT, so I MUST be EMO
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion.
I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I like YAOI/YURI, so I MUST be GAY/LESBIAN.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes, so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST, so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life, so I MUST be having problem
I'M A TOMBOY SO I MUST BE A LESBIAN
I'M A GIRLY BOY SO I MUST BE GAY
I LIKE JAPAN SO I MUST LIKE ANIME
I HATE ANIME SO I MUST HATE JAPAN
I LIKE RUSSIA SO I MUST BE A communist
I'M A MONARCHIST SO I MUST NOT CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE OR FREEDOM
I HATE democracy SO I MUST HATE FREEDOM
I'm an activist so i must be crazy
I'm anti cap so i must want to just dump all orcas into the sea and hope for the best
Guidelines for Action Heroes
1. Show no regard for bullet wounds no matter where they’re placed. Run, jump, and skip like never before! You won’t bleed out or suffer permanent damage or anything.
2. Periodically stare off into the distance for an extended period of time and for no reason whatsoever. It makes you look mysterious, especially if you plan it so that 99% of the time someone will walk in on you.
3. Have a traumatic past. Bonus points if you don’t even know what it is.
4. If a soldier or CIA agent and declared unfit for duty, go out into the field anyway. I promise you nothing will ever actually go wrong.
5. You can hold your breath for an infinite amount of time.
6. There is no such thing as, ‘if at first you don’t succeed…’ You will succeed. Case closed.
7. Normal bodily functions like sleeping or just having a full bladder have no effect on you.
8. Even if you’ve never handled a weapon before, you will hit the target with precision every time.
9. Risk your life whenever possible.
10. Be an orphan. No hero ever comes from a stable, loving family.
11. Never fully explain what you plan on doing. People understand you better the less sense you make.
12. If a woman, your menstrual cycle will be considerate of your turmoil and kindly not appear. You never see Catwoman suffering from cramps.
13. Kill many random people, but refuse to kill your arch nemesis. Doing so will make you more like him, obviously.
14. If possible, have a catch phrase.
15. Also have a sidekick. Especially one whose sole purpose in life is to be the comedic relief
What High School Musical has Taught Us
1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.
2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.
3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.
4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.
5. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you.
6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.
7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.
8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.
9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!
10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.
11. Lakes are the equivalent of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!
12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!
13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.
14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation
15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.
16. Even though its the last day of school, its okay to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.
17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else,' it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a $7,000 fridge.
18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.
19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.
20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the hell?'
21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.
22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.
23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.
24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.
25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'backstabber'
26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...
27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.
28. Iced tea from England is blue
29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name.
30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way.
31. When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.
32. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.
33. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink and engraved with your initials.
34. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.
35. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.
36. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.
37. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!' GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.
38. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills.
39. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely.
40. When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens, of course.
Life's Greatest Questions
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
If olive oil comes from olives then where does baby oil come from?
Why is it that if something says "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
I'm the kind of girl who would scream "Boo!" at a football game and then ask what the bad call was.
I'm the kind of girl who thinks that as you read this, you will laugh and nod and re-post.
I'm the kind of girl who believes in equal rights, and doesn't care if I sound cheesy.
I'm the kind of girl who wishes there was a law against stupidity.
I'm the kind of girl who finds what's lost where I already looked.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
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