Poll: CCBGAB - Who's your favourite? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Skulduggery Pleasant series, Hunger Games, and Vampire Diaries.
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org (this is not a personal email just for random stuff and ff)
I am in love with fanfiction. seriously whether it's reading many amazing fics by amazing authors or writing my own stuff.
Favourite books: anything by John Green, the fault in our stars, The hunger games, Harry potter, Looking for Alaska, Twilight, The shiver trilogy, Vampire diaries, have i mentioned I like John Green yet? Because I do.
I will be grateful to all those who give feedback on my fics and hey, i don't bite. PM me if your bored or want to ask me something or just want to chat!
also let me know if you want me to be your beta as I love doing it! and if you have a suggestion or something feel free to tell me ;)
i will read fics if you ask me to and will leave a kind review.
i really can't think of anything else to say so i'll let you get on with stalking my profile now :P
Tea and scones anyone? (note English accent)
Caspar, Finn and Alfie are mine deal.
Your a book-aholic if...
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.
You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book.
A Hunger Games Addict’s Prayer
I promise to remember Rue When mockingbirds’ songs wake me I’ll think of Foxface every time I eat a strange new berry
If a little girl ever pets a goat I promise to think of Prim And if my best friend acts depressed Then Gale; I’ll think of him
When I toss some wood in the fire I’ll think of Katniss every time And I’ll always think of Peeta When I eat cake that is sublime
The Capitol will cross my mind When someone is unfair I’ll be sure to think of Clove Each time I pretend to care
I’ll always think of Glimmer If someone’s pretty, but a dunce And Thresh will occupy my mind If I spare someone, something... Once
Whenever I watch a reality show I will think of the Hunger Games I’ll sure imagine Haymitch If someone calls me names
I swear to think of Cato When I’m homicidally inclined I’ll make sure I think of Effie When there’s nothing on my mind
I swear to remember the Hunger Games And Catching Fire too It’s important to think of the characters But they’re NOT mine (So, Collins, don’t sue!)
Things I will not do at Hogwarts:
1. I will not deliberately call Dumbledore 'Gandalf'.
2. I will not ask Professor Snape if he is Harry Potter's real father.
3. I will not try to stake Cedric Diggory.
4. I will not ask Seamus Finnigan if he 'stole me lucky charms'.
5. I will not floo powder Professor Trelawney, say 'Seven Days!' in a creepy voice, and then disappear. This is wrong.
6. I will not say 'POOF!' every time I disapparate.
7. I will not sing 'We're off to see the wizard' every time I go to Dumbledore's office.
8. Making rumours about Draco and Harry's love life is not funny- it will stop soon.
9. I will not make comments about Professor Lupin's 'Time Of The Month'.
10. I will not pay first years a galleon to pee in Mad-Eye Moody's hip flask.
11. I will not set up an underground duelling arena.
12. I will not tell first years that the common room password is 'Petrificus Totalus' and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
13. I must not leave shampoo on Professor Snape's desk with instructions on how to wash his hair.
14. I will not call Professor Snape Professor Snake.
15. I will not tell Voldemort to, 'Dude, get a life'.
16. I will not draw the Dark Mark on my classmates' arm while they're asleep.
17. I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who'll come out alive.
18. When the Dark Mark is in the sky, I will not point to it and shout, 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'
19. I will not buy Professor Lupin a flea collar.
20. I will not tell people that Professor Snape has the Voice of God.
21. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than fifteen seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to perform it.
22. 'Swish and flick' is only a wand movement.
23. I will not jump up and yell, 'It's Voldemort, RUN!' during Order Of The Pheonix meetings.
24. I will not tell Snape that he needs to go to his 'Happy Place'.
25. There is no such thing as an 'Invisibility Thong'.
SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlikeEnglish, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves
Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one.
The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)
19 THINGS TO DO AT a Big Departement Store, K-Mart, Big W, etc
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
17. If you get caught, run as fast as you can, grab whatever clothes you can fit in, and put them on, run to the café and pretend to be in line/reading at the table. See if the person runs past you.
18. Bring a friend, have one of you get in a cart, have the other one push, and grab random items off shelves, putting them in your cart and then go up to the cash register and have the one pushing say “How much is this person?” See how they react.
19. Walk around the store pointing to people with your fingers forming a gun and yell “Bang!” When they turn to see you.
Repost this is you laughed... or are planning to do any of these things
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS:Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS:Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing
29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For No reason
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity . Copy and Paste this To Make People who read this Smile.
Unsafe External Link