Fanfic Posting/Update Schedule: Ash and Gou's Alola Adventures second chapter, A Rivalry Retold, Ash and Gou meet Mewtwo one-shot, Dawn of Darkness: Rising of the Sword Hero chapter 2, Reunion with the Released, Capture of the Uncaught.

Stories I have planned for the future or considering on writing: Pokémon Anime What If: What If Ash stayed in Kalos with Greninja, (Will either be a one-shot or a multi-chapter story. Can't decide yet.) Ash gets sent to Hisui by God story.

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." James Branch Cabell.

"Looks like I'm doing two guys at once." NicoB, 2015. Island Mode, Dangan Ronpa 2: Goodbye Despair.

"But he's a guy!" Okabe Rintaro, Stein;s Gate. 2010.

"What's your (Bleep) doing on a dead girl's phone?" Annalise Keating, How to get away with murder.

"I might not be gay, but I'm gay for you baby." NicoB, 2015. Stein;s Gate: Lukako's Ending.

"Hey Bitch, You wanna join my harem?" NicoB's Seven Voice. New Persona 5 Trailer - Breakdown Analysis. 2016.

"What happens when Death, dies?" NicoB. Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix, Episode 16. May 28th, 2016

All time favorite videogame & why it is my favorite: Kingdom Hearts. (Do I need a reason to fav this? It was the very first videogame I ever played.)

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air-conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

Kyuubi's Top Twenty List of People/Things That Just Need to Die By Its Hand

#20. Minato Namikaze: The bastard had a giant slimy toad try to hold me down and then he had the gall to seal me into his fucking son. Other than that his hair is too bright and with his special move, the Hiraishin, he was a pain in my ass. He's also such a good target to heap hate onto, the look on his face at all times just makes me want to eat him, no joke.

#19. Mito Uzumaki: My first jinchuuriki, the one that started the chain of me looking at the inside of people's heads instead of the outside world. She sealed me in herself, herself! She sealed me in herself and didn't do a half-bad job of it whatsoever. The kit knows nothing about her because I'm not his damned storybook, but if he did he would be more inspired to learn that fuuinjutsu shit. The worst part is that she never tried to even utilize any of my power, I was bored as hell in there.

#18. Glitter Cannons: These horrible contraptions are too evil, even to me. Cruel and unusual… and obnoxious.

#17. Kisame Hoshigaki: Apparently he has enough chakra to earn the nickname biju without a tail. I'll wait and see him fight my container before I believe a word of that shit. That creepy-ass sword of his eats chakra does it? Well I would love for it to eat a concentrated blast of my chakra and see how much it likes snacking on that.

#16. Soy substitutes for meat: If it looks like beef, cooks like beef, sizzles like beef, but fucking tastes like asparagus then there's a fucking problem. If I want that then I'll tell the ningen I'm sealed in to eat the leaves off of a tree. The hands down worst food that the kit has ever picked up and tried at the behest of that black-haired medic woman. Disgusting.

#15. Maito Gai: I would have him higher, but he freaks me right the fuck out and he'd probably enjoy that. There comes a time in every man's life where he has to put up the form fitting green leotard for good. That time came for Gai about seven years ago. He makes me regret making my deal with the kit, because seeing him in that shitty green suit and listening to him scream like an epileptic cheerleader about 'the power of youth' makes me want to eat him, it's an insult to the senses. The only reason I would back off from doing that if I had the chance is because I'm not entirely sure that whatever is afflicting him can be passed over to biju. I already know it's contagious, his little mini-me that he totes around is proof enough of that. With that knowledge I don't feel like risking it.

#14. Jiraiya: He's slowly getting off my shit list, but he's on here for more than a few reasons. Now the kit I'm sealed in is a pervert, I'll admit that, and I doubt he would deny it himself if you prodded him on it, but this man is one of the highest degree, so much so that it is creepy. When he met Naruto before the chunin exam he wanted him to stay in Oiroke no Jutsu form, even though he knew damn well that the kit was a boy. What the fuck?

Other than that he trained the bastard that sealed me away again, without him I wouldn't even be here right now, and he was a lesser reason that the kit had to go through four years of life as an utter moron. He's slowly dropping down the list, I did have him higher, but I am a benevolent being, therefore he's working his way off the list, but he won't be off of it anytime soon.

#13. Rock Lee: You need to be part of the solution kid, not part of the problem. Hell, even if I'd never seen or heard the kid he'd still be on the list for drinking the kool-aid that Gai heaped into his bushy-browed little head. Why not become my mini-me? I'm at least ten times better than Maito Gai!

#12. Fangirls: Enough said.

#11. Alcohol-free beer: The kit hates this stuff too. It utterly defeats the purpose of drinking in the first place, if you're not drinking to get drunk then you should just go ahead and mix yourself some lemonade and sit in a corner. 'The only thing worse than drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy is drinking a warm Schlitz tall boy and realizing that you did it for absolutely no good reason.' The kit's words, not mine.

#10. Gamabunta: This ugly warted son of a bitch held me down and stabbed me with that goddamned tanto of his long enough for the bastard Yondaime to seal me in his son. I gave the toad a nice little gift to remember me by though. He he he… How he was able to look at the kit the first time he saw him use my power and not shit himself on the spot I'll never know.

#9. Orochimaru: Just rubs me the wrong way. It's not the need to destroy Konoha, fuck that place. It's not the jumping bodies thing either since I technically did that myself, though not by choice. It's not even his *ahem* life choices… It's basically his entire personality. Orochimaru is capable of doing anything he wants and he chooses the most impossible life goal in existence, to learn every jutsu in the world. The only way that would ever work is if he could kill every single person in the world and get their bloodlines and list of jutsu before he tried it, and that would be redundant because who would he brag to about it? What a stupid goal, and he was supposed to be a genius.

#8. The guy that introduced ramen to Konohagakure no Sato: I curse this person every day of my existence. If I never hear the word ramen again I would be just okay with that. I would curse that family of ramen chefs, but that wouldn't be the root of the problem, if they weren't in Konoha any longer my container would somehow find some other way to get his fix, so I'm cursing the source of my flavored noodle misery.

#7. Sasuke Uchiha: First of all, the kit doesn't like him. The kit is usually a good judge of character and if he doesn't like you then there's a damn good reason behind it. I personally don't like the brat because of that damned pink-eye of his that he calls a doujutsu, but that's more personal than objective. He reminds me of Madara, he's also laughably easy to manipulate, it's ridiculous. Genius my ass.

He has an attitude problem and no amount of adjustments, i.e. asskickings, will ever get through to his thick skull. Whoever said that children are the future never got a look at this punk's psyche, or else they would have had him committed to a mental facility. Mark my words, that Uchiha runt is going to bring about the ninja apocalypse if no one stops him before he gets too big for his britches, and he'll probably laugh while he watches the world burn.

#6. Kirabi: Do I really need to go through the reason that I want to eat this guy? Try and have an hour long conversation with the man and see if you can keep your temper and sanity in check.

#5. Kabuto Yakushi: He's like a cochroach. He'll live through the worst of the fallout and pop his head out to sift through the remains. The boy has no redeeming qualities as far as I can see. He smells of snakes and oiled wood. Those two things just do not go together, and that makes me mistrust him even more than I already should. He's troublesome, and whenever he shows his face he never sticks around long enough to take too much of a beating. At least Orochimaru is man enough to go toe to toe with someone when the need arises.

#4. Hiruzen Sarutobi: He really thought that the people of this village would see my container as a person, shouldn't a ninja of legendary stature have a better understanding of human nature? Now other than creating and *ahem* enforcing the rule that had adults inspiring their kids to try and bully him and keep him away at all times he really didn't do that much and this is not the reason that he's up this high, but I am insulted that he didn't think my jinchuuriki had what it took to be a ninja. He was my prison, of course he had what it took when he was young!

This actually led to the best thing that had ever happened to the boy, getting actual training and being able to prove to the world my superiority, as my container was a force to be reckoned with at a young age, until the old monkey got paranoid and sealed away years of hard work. I may be petty, but I'm immortal and a being more ancient and powerful than any on the planet, I can afford to be petty.

#3. The first guy that called for Naruto's death when he was revealed as the Kyuubi's container: The two jinchuuriki I had before him barely had to deal with the crap that this kid had to put up with, hell Mito didn't have to deal with anything adverse at all. Well with an angry crowd all it ever takes is one dumbass to open the floodgates and let the ire of the masses come out. After my 'attack', emotions were high, and everyone was low on logic and understanding, therefore loud and opinionated idiots like this held sway, as in most near anarchy situations. Whoever this guy was I hope that Sarutobi's Anbu axed his ass on the spot, he made Naruto's life, and by proxy my life, much harder than it already was going to be.

#2. Hashirama Senju: The son of a bitch held me down with his stupid Mokuton and let his wife seal me inside of herself. Almost one hundred years of consecutive life sentences inside of passed down hosts with supposedly ridiculously long natural life spans for humans. All because some guy could grow a tree around me and hold me in place. If Madara is the reason I'm sealed then this ass is the trigger.

#1. Madara Uchiha: Where do I start? Well how about the fact that the sadistic piece of shit freaks me the fuck out sometimes… me! Me of all people! This ass is the reason I was sealed the first time and the third time. I must have his head. I will hound the kit until the day I feel Madara's blood run across his fingertips. Fuck Madara Uchiha and his hijacked eyes, the next time we meet I'll show him who's in control.

He has a damn god complex and enough arrogance to just come out and make puppets and tools of forces that should not be trifled with, myself included. He's manipulative, sneaky, and conniving, even to the extent where I find it overbearing. Yes, a world without Madara Uchiha in it would seem like utopia to me. He keeps his eyes on the times and picks the most opportune moments to risk his neck by coming out into the open, and that makes him all the more dangerous since he has always ended up on top, or at least in control of the situation.

10 Simple Rules For Dating My A Marine's Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.