All Hail Lelouch vi Britannia the 99th Emperor of the Holy Sacred Britannian Empire. He destroyed the past and present to bring a new future.

HUMOR

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!

Some people were dropped as a baby…. You were clearly thrown at a wall.

It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up -_-

If you're gonna embarrass yourself, do it right!

Is it just me or does everything seem funnier when you’re suppose to be quiet?

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Lemony Snicket

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

Someone call 911, I just got punched in the face by nostalgia.

One for bad news, Two for mirth, Three is a wedding, Four is a birth, Five is for riches, Six is a thief, Seven, a journey, Eight is for grief. Nine is a secret, Ten is for sorrow. Eleven is for love, Twelve joy for tomorrow.

Fanfiction, Hogwarts The Musical.

Astoria Greengrass stared at the two of them for a good long minute before speaking. "I was going to make a gay joke," She told them with a forlorn sigh that sounded eerily like Blaise's, "butt fuck it."

'One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for death, four for birth, five for heaven, six for hell, seven for a witch's spell.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, And so are you, But the roses are wilting, The violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, And so is your head.

"If vodka was water

And I was a duck,

I'd swim to the bottom

And never come up.

But vodkas not water

and I'm not a duck,

So pass me a shot

And shut the fuck up."

-Some Awesome Unknown Person-

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me, so tie me up and throw me down and show me that you like me."

Music is just that: music. Love or hate it, but do not hate on people and the music they love.

"Old enough to know better, too young to actually give a fuck."

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." -Charles Darwin.

"You could learn a lot from crayons.

Some are sharp, some are pretty.

Some are dull while others are bright.

Some have weird names.

But we all have to learn to live in the same box." Debbie Graves Ratcliffe.

"You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because I rigged your house with explosives."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups"

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Jones

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” Chuck Palahniuk

'Ordinary things are more valuable than extraordinary things; nay, they are more extraordinary.' G.K. Chesterton

"Treat the janitor as you would the CEO"

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. Jack Handy

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her while she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.