Author has written 35 stories for Harry Potter, Gilmore Girls, New Jedi Order, Numb3rs, and Daughters of the Moon.
Don't let this continue:
I AM THE FIRST AND ULTIMATE NINJEDI! (a Jedi trained in the art and discipline of the ninja)
"Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone."
"Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun."
"During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes."
"Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes."
"Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas."
"Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he's Jack Bauer you're friggin' dead."
"Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted Fugitive was an 18 year old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball."
"Quentin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent."
"Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first."
"All men are created equal. they are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer."
"Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him."
"Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg."
"You don't know Jack."
Gilmore Girls Related
"Mal and I are redheads; Finn loves redheads... Life is good." - Me
(if anyone has any quotes for GG, please let me know, and I'll put them up there.)
Star Wars Related
"Whenever I used to watch the garbage masher scene in Star Wars: A New Hope, I could always picture a Death Star stormtrooper turning to his Death Star stormtrooper roommates and saying, 'Anyone want this big giant pole? You sure? I was just going to through it away...'" - Dan Wallace (a Star Wars Expanded Universe author)
"Hurling force lightning is one thing, but quoting Kyp Durron puts me lower than I ever expected to get." - Jaina Solo, Dark Journey
"Would some one just get this big walking carpet out of the way?" Princess Leia Organa, A New Hope
Leia: "Why you hair-brained, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder!" Han: "Hey, who you calling scruffy-looking?" - Empire Strikes Back
"Laugh it up fur-ball."- Captain Han Solo, Empire Strikes Back
"Goddess, as usual, you're doing your job too well." - General Wedge Antilles, Rebel Dream
"Have to remember, he may have been raised among the Chiss, but he's still full-blooded Corellian." - Jaina Solo, Rebel Dream
"Piggy, analysis." - Jaina Solo, Rebel Stand
Han: "We could leave Goldenrod to babysit him. Tell him stories." Leia: "It's better to be bored than horribly bored, Han." -Rebel Stand
Leia: "Vainglorious, vain plus glorious. Go ahead, deny it." Han: "Well... I can't, really."- Rebel Stand
"Would you mind if I cut straight to the power cable?" - Jaina Solo, Rebel Stand
"When you've been in this business as long as I have, you learn a few things: nothing's more dangerous than arguing with a Wookie, nothing's more foolish than gambling with a Jedi, and nothing's more alluring than a Twi'lek dancer. But I'm here to tell you that last thing is wrong. If you like your humanoids flexible, svelte, enthusiastic, and in multiple shades of red, then the most beautiful people in the galaxy are Zeltros. Who needs Twi'leks?" - Ruudi Buundaz, Zeltros: Pleasure Planet