Author has written 4 stories for One Piece, and Katekyo Hitman Reborn!.
Hi I'm Serenity de la Luna! Formerly Lover's red rose.
Birthday: November 13th
I love anime and my fav fruit is strawberry's. i love chocolate. And i love vanilla ice-cream.
The first anime i watched was: Sailor Moon
This is a Poem a friend of mine wrote:
I'm afraid that the words I have spoken
Leave your heart scared and broken
I'm afraid that if I lend a helping hand
You will break me as you stand
If I make your dreams come true
Will you help me with my needs too?
Will you wish upon a star for me?
Or travel across the Galaxy?
Would you carry me on your back for days
Through rain and snow?
Or would you make the frights of life go away?
As day by day they come and go
But have I awaken from my dream
That this could ever be true
For I never thought that for one minute
Our love for each other grew
This is a true story
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded.
If you start reading this... you can't go out *smiles evily*
Once... There was a girl with long black hair... she was pretty. Very pretty. One day, someone pushed her in front of the mirror, thus making her head hit shards of glass... Blood scattered on the remaining shards. Her face remains in the mirror forever... and ever... and ever... Until she succeeds to kill her jealous murder. She will haunt you. Everywhere you go. In your dreams, on your street, on your phone... One day... when you look in a mirror, after reading this, she will appear. "You're not pretttyyyy..." she'll say. You'll die that day because of a shard stuck in your brain... If you post this on your profile, she will bother your worst enemy. You will be rewarded.
R.I.P. to That girl you called a slut in class today. She's a virgin.
The pregnant girl walking down the street. She got raped.
The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family.
That girl you pushed down the other day. At home she's already being abused.
That girl you called fat. She's starving herself.
The old man you made fun of cause ugly scars. He fought for our country.
The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying.
You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!
RE-POST if you are against bullying.
FAKE VS. REAL
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Dang … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would go to your funeral if you were murdered.
REAL FRIENDS: Would skip the funeral and go out looking for the murderer and kill him!!
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
REAL FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
REAL FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
REAL FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because they tripped me.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
REAL FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after me in the first place.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public.
REAL FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will try to comfort me when my boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with me.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick my ass until I get it together and will smack him/her for breaking up with me.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will help me move.
REAL FRIENDS: Will help me move a body.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will re-post it
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. * Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. *Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. *Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female. 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologicallyappropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. *Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of QuintupularAgglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: 1) The Hero/Leader 2) His Girlfriend 3) His Best Friend/Rival 4) A Hulking Brute 5) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: 1) Extreme Coolness 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa. First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. *(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and exposition]), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might havea tight and/or sensitive vagina.
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
95% of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump.put this as part of sig if you are part of the 5% that would sit here with popcorn & a camera and yell ''DO A FLIP!!!'' If you are part of the 5% that would do this then copy and paste.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you think you've read over a hundred fanfictions, copy and paste this into you're profile.
If Fanfiction consumes your life (but love it!), copy and paste this into you're profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If your crazy/or insane and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.
If you think Sabo is alive somewhere with a good reason to stay hidden, paste this on your profile. (From One Piece)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you enjoy watching people get kicked in the groin, copy this onto your profile. (I love seeing that!!!) :D
If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are overly-obsessed with Anime, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the type of person that flips out saying "Yes i got a review(s)!" copy and paste
If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever cracked a joke that no one understood, and yet you thought it was hilarious, copy this to your profile.
If you learned at least ten Japanese words from anime (thus justifying it to be "educational"), copy and paste this onto your profile and add your penname. haaschiibrownii, author in the making123 ,narutofreak10, Jazzcat1234,don'tletthewingsfoolyou, one piece girl 99999, Lover's Red Rose
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile
A black man went into a restaurant and the white man at the till said "Colored people aren't allowed here." The black man said...
"When I was born I was black,
when I'm hot I'm black,
when I'm cold I'm black,
when I'm sick I'm black,
and when I die I'll be black. But...
When you were born you was pink,
when you are hot you are red,
when you are cold you are blue,
when you are sick you are green,
and when you die you'll be purple.
And you're calling me colored?
Paste this on your file if you're against racism.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Give me a Kiss.
Girl: There, Now would you Slow Down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him and give him one last kiss. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste it to your profile
-Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
-I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?
-"I'm not insane, I'm just a writer. Now shut up so I can listen to the voices in my head."
-There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't
-I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
-I'm not cynical, everything just sucks
-I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid
-It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
-Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
-Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I am proven horribly wrong
-Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe
-I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-If I had a nickle for every fictional character I've fallen for, I'd have enough money to pay for the professional help I so very obviously need
-"Hello and welcome to Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press one repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press two for you. If you have multiple personalities, press three, four, five, six, and seven. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want so please stay on the line and we will trace your call. If you are delusional press, eight and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and the small voice will tell you what number to press. If you are dyslexic, please press six and nine. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter what button you press because no one will answer. If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self-esteem hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Thank you for calling."
-I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it
What a Boyfriend Should Do
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hit's you
When she start's cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignore's you
When she pull's away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
When she steal's your favorite hat
When she tease's you
When she doesnt answer for a long time
When she look's at you with doubt
When she say's that she like's you
When she grab's at your hands
When she bump's into you
When she tell's you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she repost this bulletin
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :
Girls Don't Realize These Things
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
now for semoehtnig itnresitng...
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
If you could read that put it in your profile
Destiny? Don't make me laugh.
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people.
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull". If you ever tripped over your own feet.
If you love rain.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run, bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend convinces you not to jump off the cliff. A best friend hugs you "Goodbye, I'll miss you. Can I have your stuff?"
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is 'quietly' going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
The Stupidest Things Written
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children". (hmm..something must have been lost in translation...)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". (The shoplifter special!)
"What's going on here?"
"Um, nothing. Nothing, she's just a friend."
"I think he was talking about the possible alien invasion. " - Dr. Who 6.1.