Surveyor of Cheese
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Joined 03-06-12, id: 3792040, Profile Updated: 12-18-14
Author has written 7 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

I'm an asshole. Usually, my reviews focus around insulting people for terrible grammar, punctuation, plot holes, character development, or clichés. But when I give a positive review, it usually means you're going in the right direction.

I'm hypocritical. Most of my fics are laughably bad, but for some reason people enjoy most of them. Go ahead, give them a try.

STUFF I'VE WRITTEN:

Nine Worlds: my most popular fic to date, a Norse/PJO fic inspired by the book Runemarks by Joanne Harris. At some point it was intended to be my magnum opus, like Starblade176's Everlasting Promises or Anakusmos14's... Well, every fic he's ever written, probably. But that was years ago, and now that I've gone over it, Nine Worlds is mediocre at best. Still, it's worth taking a look at. At some point I'll get around to rewriting it, but don't hold your breath.

Lavender/Love is Tough/Friendship: short fics (one-shots or two-shots) that people seemed to like. Arguably better than my supposed 'magnum opus' simply because I didn't need to give them much context.

Sacrifice: the one-shot that everyone hated. The reviews are a good laugh - the story itself is atrocious, with overly subtle hinting and much too little context.

State of the Fandom: drunk rambles. I'd be such a bore at parties.

Drabbles: the one that is terrible on purpose. You might get a quick laugh.

STUFF I MIGHT WORK ON AT SOME POINT MAYBE:

Nine Worlds: give it some time. Like, a few ears. I'll get around to it. Oh, and for those who read the author's notes near the end there, I asked her out, and she promptly friend zoned me. That was about a year and a half ago. When (if) I get around to this, I won't bother with pairings. Honestly, I had this grand plan at some point that somehow it would be Pertemis at some point, but really that's stupid for a fic like this.

Ichor: in which Percy Jackson is a vampire who manages to drink the blood of a goddess. Will likely end up being Pertemis, because if Nine Worlds won't be I need at least one proper fic that is. Don't hold your breath for this one either. I've written a couple of chapters in my spare time, but I'm not gonna post them until they fit together properly.

State of the Fandom 2014: bigger and better (and too much for Mr. Incredible) than last year, I might actually turn it into an annual thing. Hell, I might not get drunk this time and actually write something coherently amusing.

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Twisted Reality by Catastrophic Finale reviews
Percy was a mistake within a mistake but he doesn't know about it yet. Her mother tried to hide it longer but when he met his new guardian, things change, the truth was out creating his own twisted reality. He then unknowingly saves an unusual twelve year old girl who turns out to be the maiden goddess of the hunt. AU. Eventual Percy/Artemis.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 123,502 - Reviews: 767 - Favs: 1,362 - Follows: 1,500 - Updated: 3/5 - Published: 9/9/2013 - [Percy J., Artemis] Zoë N., Hestia
Elysium by The Shadow of the Wolf reviews
Percy Jackson had a rough life, full of sorrow and pain. But now, as lead singer-songwriter and guitarist of the world famous band Elysium, he has it all. And he doesn't want any of it. But what happens to the troubled star when ghosts from a painful past start to reappear? With he be able to survive, or will the memories drag him back to the abyss he barely pulled himself out of?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 32,090 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 2/19/2014 - Nico A., Percy J., Zoë N., Jason G.
Everlasting Promises by Starblade176 reviews
Percy, betrayed by who he thought was his soulmate, takes a daring act and swears himself by the oldest Primordial. Now, he has to deal with the consequences, both good and bad. Eventual Percy/Artemis
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 329,767 - Reviews: 4111 - Favs: 3,662 - Follows: 3,356 - Updated: 8/25/2013 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Percy J., Artemis
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Drabbles reviews
This is either the result of being awake too long or drinking too much coffee. I'm not sure which, but don't take it seriously. Actually, feel free to flame it.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 482 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/27/2014 - Aphrodite, Nico A., Percy J., Blackjack - Complete
Sacrifice reviews
Perseus Jackson and Aphrodite reflect on the events of the Titan War. One-shot, and now that I think about it, pretty bland. But whatever, it's something a little bit... different.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 332 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4/27/2014 - Aphrodite, Luke C., Percy J., Silena B.
State of the Fandom 2013 reviews
I got drunk and wrote a very short "speech" regarding the PJO Fandom compared to a bunch of other fandoms. Enjoy!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/25/2013 - Complete
Nine Worlds reviews
All it took was one idiot to alienate Percy from Camp Half-blood. But what if there were other gods than the 'counterparts' of the Greeks? What would happen if Percy were to find Asgard? And what if THEY had a prophecy too - one that involved Percy...?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 28,251 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 2/4/2013 - Published: 3/17/2012 - Artemis, Percy J.
Lavender reviews
A REALLY short one-shot that I wrote in response to keenbeanz's Perodite 'challenge' at the end of Chapter 16 of his story 'One Night Stand'. Percy's been keeping a diary, here's one of his entries... Enjoy!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 536 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Aphrodite, Percy J. - Complete
Friendship reviews
Another little Two-shot I wrote. It's more Pertemis! Yay! Based around simple concepts that somehow inspired me during English today, I just put a short little story to them and decided to see how they turned out! Read, review, enjoy! Rated T cause I can!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Percy J., Artemis - Complete
Love is Tough reviews
I know it's short, but it's only a Two-shot. First story, please read and review. Flames accepted - I know I'm wierd - and constructive criticism appreciated! I'm really bad at summaries, and really, this doesn't have a big plot 'cause it's short. Enjoy!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Percy J., Artemis - Complete