8 reasons the dark side rules
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE
(If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA *cough cough*!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
A Hetalian's Pledge
I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.
I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.
I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.
I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.
I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.
I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.
I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.
I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.
I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.
I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.
I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing.
I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.
I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.
I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.
I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.
I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.
I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.
I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.
I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.
I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.
I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.
I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different... or I'm celebrating the holidays.
I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy.
I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.
I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.
I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.
I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off.
I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.
I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).
I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.
I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.
I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.
I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.
I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or someone steals my word (AWESOME).