Author has written 3 stories for Animorphs, Ninjago, and Assassin's Creed.
Hello, I'm EsmeraldaValiente, a novice writer.
I really am a person that appreciates any type of feedback, so please be sure to review if you can! Especially if it is about the quality of my writing. Please help me improve my style!
I am also Yria on community.lego.com (Though I no longer log on there as much...)
Before anyone starts spreading foul hearsays about my profile pic, those two are me and my brother back in '04. We were both small back then, obviously...
This is something hilarious that I found on the internet. I can definitely see Overlord or Lord Garmadon saying something similar:
From a Villain To All Would-Be "Loyal" Followers...
While you're there, check out the rest of the website. There, you'll find writing tips and the Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test. (note: I did not make any of the content that you may encounter on Springhole.net. Syera Mikatyee is the sole creator of all tests, generators, articles, etc found on the website.)
My new personal reminders to keep high standards when writing. Let's just hope that I can uphold them!
Widdiecombe, Lizzie. "The Plagiarist's Tale"
Gladwell, Malcolm. "Something Borrowed"
Currently, I am planning on publishing a Constant Payne fanfic leaving off where the pilot episode ended. However, this endeavor is going to take some time, since I don't have much material to work from.
Fear not though! I am diligently looking for any tidbits to help guide me to the direction that made this cartoon so great.
The following are all sources that I utilize to do research on the show:
Micah Wright Website: Constant Payne (pilot episode is on here)
An Article on ThePulp.Net
Maurosart Animation Development Website
Taesoo Kim's Blogger from July of 2006 (scroll to the very bottom for Constant Payne illustrations and sketches)
An Interview with Micah Wright on Toon Zone (posted on 2002)
Additional "News"from Toon Zone
Why the show was cancelled
This section down here is a sort of explanation as to why I deleted old chapters of "The Overlord's Hounds"and upload edited chapters, completely replacing the earlier storyline.
(WARNING: This list is loooonnnnnggg and is just me utterly bashing the old version of my story and probably not worth your time to read.)
My reasons, listed below in order of least importance to most importance, are:
In the story, Kohaku was depicted as being a woman who was so forgetful that it hurt (i.e. "Eww! I don’t remember you doing that when we went!” “Of course you don’t. You have sssshort term memory loss...") She also came off as being way too immature for her age, which was not at all how I had wanted her to be. Andrei learns English way too fast for him to learn by mere dictionary and occasional conversations. Sure, it may have been in a matter of several months, but this was a boy who had little to no exposure to English since he came from a Slavic/Russian part of Ninjago. His accents were also a pain to read. Masanori was originally supposed to be some Japanese noble, which did not fit in the current time and would make absolutely no sense as to why he was even around. He also ripped off his temper from Kai, which was very noticeable through dialogue and actions that he did. Chiyoko was the worse of them all. Besides having came from a Serpentine tribe that was banished from the other five, she was known as having gone through some amount of trauma that made her insane. In hindsight, her character was very stupid and she came off as being extremely annoying both as acting to be Yuki and as herself. She is violent and her mood oscillates as if she had PMS. Her character made absolutely no sense and she did not contribute as much to the plot as the others had. She just had to go.
- Spelling mistakes- There were a few, but that should not have excused me from fixing them. I also made so many mistakes with the names! I know this is really late, but I'm very sorry for that.
- "Event length"- When I reread this story months after leaving it alone on the site, one of the minor dislikes that I had with it was how long the time that the Ninja were over with the "strangers" home. If I'm not mistaken, I think that it was over 8 chapters spent on that and, sure there were some moments that foreshadowed future events and some conflict, but there was a lot of content that had no reason to be there other than to describe characters, making the whole thing pretty boring to the casual reader.
- OOC Ninja- I had moments where the Ninja were talking less like their intended age demographic and more... well dull. Okay, so Zane could have been the only exception to that (not that I'm trying to say that he is dull, he just happens to have a more mature vocabulary!), but I feel like I should try to write my characters to that their dialogue and actions better resemble that of carefree teenagers.
- Canon- I had made some mistakes on the story because of the lack of information that I researched. For example, I had mentioned that the Ninja had to wait for Lloyd to come to Sensei Wu's Academy so that they could use the Ultra Dragon for faster transportation. However, in the episode, "The Surge", when the whole school was headed to a trip to Borg Industries, one of the students on the bus has asked why they couldn't have taken the Ultra Dragon, to which Cole replied that he wouldn't be able to use the bus' installed microphone.
- My Pretentiousness in the Author's Notes: err... no comment.
- Too many POVs- It got really confusing, didn't it? Especially since it seemed to switch around randomly.
- Overly Cliched Plot- Prophecy that had never been heard of before that predicted the arrival of four new individuals that would fight against the Ninja due to some almost impossible, unnatural occurrence. Not only that but one of them was a Serpentine. Need I say more?
- The Original Characters- This particular justification almost made me consider trashing the idea behind this fic altogether. They were all so... borderline Sue/Stu! I mean, come on, each of them were seeking revenge on four people who destroyed their homes without even knowing it and, even after having seen that their enemy did not have a clue as what they "did", they still wanted to go with unjustified violence and retaliation against them and those who were on their side. Sure they were the "bad guys", but talk about going too far on their "moral" reason for joining the dark side! Here are some bullet-points for each character and why they were so awful:
Well, I hope that this helps anyone who is generally confused as to what happened to the chapters. I am really sorry for having done that, but I just couldn't stand my old story. It needed some improvement and I hope that I was able to fix the story with the new direction that it is going. The other three OCs will stay, but will have their personality, appearance, information, etc. made over so that it makes more sense. Some plot details will remain, but most of the new story will differ greatly from the old one. This new story now under the name "The Overlord's Agents of Deception".
I might take it upon myself to post some character descriptions, but only when the story has had some approval from the Ninjago fan community through reviews. Other than that, I hope that you feel free to write your honest opinion on the fic so that I can make improvements when necessary.
Please, have a great day/afternoon/night!